托德:奥尔加是健康教练和人生教练。你之前提到过很多我们应该做的事情,那有什么是我们应该停止做的事或是有哪些应该改掉的坏习惯?这是最难的,是吧?你对戒掉糖、戒酒或戒掉上瘾行为有哪些建议?
Olga: Well, actually, I am not suggesting that people fight with themselves, and they avoid or break anything, because that would constitute violence against yourself. I am a student of Marshall Rosenberg, who developed a nonviolent communication system. Instead of taking away the bad, you add something good. You find exciting, fun, new habits that will naturally substitute.
奥尔加:实际上,我不建议人们和自己斗争或是避免或戒掉任何事,因为这是针对自身的暴力行为。我是马歇尔·罗森伯格的学生,他开发了一种非暴力沟通系统。不要去掉坏事物,而是要增加好事物。你会发现令人激动又有趣的新习惯会自然而然地取代坏习惯。
Todd: Okay, so for example, let's say you watch too much TV, or you're addicted to your smartphone. You would try to maybe play outside or do something like that.
托德:好,比如,看电视时间太长,或是对智能手机上瘾。你要尽量去外面玩或是做类似于出去玩的事情。
Olga: Well, you can develop a lot of new habits and see what works for you. One of the things that I discovered for myself is that willpower is a very finite resource. We don't have infinite amounts of willpower, so we need to use it very sparingly on short distances. It's not for marathons. What I suggest, when you're establishing a new habit that you feel that is the right habit for you, you need to use a little bit of willpower to repeat it enough times. Usually magic number is 21 days.
奥尔加:你可以发展许多新习惯,看看哪些习惯适合你。我的其中一个发现是,意志力是极为有限的资源。我们没有无限的意志力,因此我们要在短距离中谨慎使用。那不适用于马拉松。我的建议是,当你建立一个新习惯并认为这个习惯适合你时,你要用一些意志力重复足够多次。一般来说,这需要21天。
Todd: Really? 21 days, why 21?
托德:真的吗?21天,为什么是21天?
Olga: I have no idea, but this number keeps popping up from different traditions in East and West and also psychology. I saw it in my own practice that it works.
奥尔加:我也不清楚,不过这个数字在东西方的不同传统以及心理学中反复出现。我自己实践过,这很有用。