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老友记第六季The One With Ross Teeth

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The One With Ross’s Teeth

[Scene: Joey and Janine’s, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]

Joey: Hey.

Chandler: Hi, my name’s Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?

Joey: Sure, neighbor come on in.

Chandler: So, is Janine around?

Joey: Uh, no, she’s at dance class.

Chandler: Can I check out what she did to my room?

Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, don’t go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)

Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th… it’s like a guy never lived in here. Look, you’ve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) It’s spreading already.

Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???

Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?

Joey: No.

Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, that’s too small to put anything in?

Joey: No.

Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, you’re going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.

Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, you’re right. I’ll talk to her.

Chandler: Yes talk to her. Be a man.

Joey: I’m a man.

Chandler: Defend yourself.

Joey: (Grunting) Hmm. (Monica opens the front door and comes in.)

Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.

Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, The gangs all here. Monica is walking in.]

Monica: Hey guys.

Chandler: Hey, how was your breakfast with Hillary?

Monica: It was okay. She’s still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.

Chandler: Ohh, yeah.

Ross: Well, is this Hillary your HOT assistant chef Hillary?

Monica: Yeah.

Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?

Monica: No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way.

Ross: Still I could tell. She was into me. (Joey rolls his eyes.) Well, why don’t you set us up?

Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

Phoebe: (Walking over and Sitting down.) Hey.

Rachel: Hey.

Phoebe: Rachel?

Rachel: Yeah.

Phoebe: I’m, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdale’s and use the copy machine.

Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think it’s kinda weird considering I don’t work there anymore.

Phoebe: Oh my God. What happened?

Rachel: I-I, got a job at Ralph Lauren.

Phoebe: Well that’s great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)

Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..

Phoebe: (Hugging her again.) You’ve lasted a whole year. Good for you.

Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesn’t see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesn’t like me very much.

Chandler: That’s weird. I don’t think my boss likes me either.

Monica: I don’t think mine likes me either.

Ross: Maybe it’s a universal thing?

Joey: Or maybe, it’s because you’re hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)

Chandler: Yeah let’s head off to work.

Monica: We should go.

[Scene: Rachel’s office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]

Phoebe: Thank you.

Rachel: Sure.

Phoebe: Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.

Rachel: Oh my God. Did you talk to him?

Phoebe: Yeah a little. He seems really nice. Good kisser.

Rachel: What? What!?! You kissed him?

Phoebe: Totally.

Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?

Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, we’re making out. You know.

Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know he’s married?

Phoebe: No!

Rachel: Phoebe…

Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if he’s married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.

[Scene: Joey and Janine’s apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]

Janine: Hey Joey.

Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?

Janine: No, I just thought it was cute.

Joey: Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh…Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. It’s…too girly.

Janine: Ohh. Like what?

Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we don’t know. We..we can’t have that.

Janine: Joey, it’s Anne Geddes. She’s a famous artist.

Joey: Look I don’t know this baby. I don’t know if she’s a famous artist or not. You know, and I don’t want to be a jerk but you’re changing too much around here.

Janine: Well, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d try to make the place a little nicer.

Joey: Yeah but it’s too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.

Janine: Well I just thought…

Joey: I’m sure it’s a famous watering can, okay. But, come on…and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?

Janine: It’s a curling iron.

Joey: Ohh, well, that’s ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. It’s up here on some hook..and…smells different.

Janine: It’s clean.

Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.

Janine: It’s dry.

Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels…Also what is with these chips you bought?

Janine: No no no no, it’s potpourri. You’re supposed to smell it. (Joey takes a big whiff of the potpourri.)

Joey: (Voice cracking) Well that’s like summer in a bowl.

[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]

Rachel: Oh, Kim, Hi. (Kim doesn’t even look up from her report.)

Kim: Uhh-huh.

Rachel: So you know, I…I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought.

Kim: I didn’t read it.

Rachel: Ahh….So…Wow…The spring line, it’s really going to be great this year, huh?

Kim: Yeah.

Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)

Kim: Tell me everything.

[Scene; Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch. Ross walks in.]

Ross: Hey guys.

Chandler and Monica: Hey.

Ross: What’s up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)

Chandler: You know…Oh My God.

Monica: What happened to your teeth.

Ross: I whitened them.

Chandler: (Sarcastically) Really.

Ross: Yeah. What do you think.

Monica: Well, I think I shouldn’t look directly at them.

Ross: Come on, seriously.

Monica: Ross they’re really, really, really white.

Chandler: Yeah, what was wrong with your old…human teeth.

Ross: Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.

Monica: How much longer?

Ross: A-A day.

Monica: Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?

Ross: I know. That’s why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?

Chandler: No, no no no. You’ll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillary’s bind, right?

Monica: She will be after tonight.

Chandler: Yeah. (Rachel walks in.)

Ross: Oh, hey, hey Rach, do you notice anything..ahh…

Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.

Chandler: What???

Monica: Oh my god.

Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just…made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip she’d heard all year.

Chandler: I am proud of all my friends today.

Monica: My God, Rachel, I can’t believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, I’m so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)

Chandler: Hi, I’m Chandler. Your live-in boy

Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)

Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)

Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, who’s the silver fox?

Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Don’t you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.

Phoebe: That’s not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesn’t look anything like that guy. He’s-he’s young and he’s got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.

Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, that’s not Ralph Lauren. That’s Kenny the copy guy.

Phoebe: What?

Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!

Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?

Rachel: To get you to make out with him!!!

Phoebe: Ohhh.

[Scene: Ross’s Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]

Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that don’t work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.

Ross: I don’t know what I’m going to do. That date starts in like an hour.

Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldn’t look so bright.

Ross: Oh great. So all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you.

Monica: I’m just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.

Ross: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. We’re not 13 anymore.

Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.

Ross: But, won’t she notice I have makeup on?

Monica: Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on.

Ross: What??

Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.

Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)

Phoebe: Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? (He smiles at her.) OH!! Demon!! Demon!!

[Scene: Chandler’s and Monica’s apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]

Monica: Now are drawers will smell nice and we didn’t waste these pantyhose.

Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? I’m going to go over to Joey’s.

Monica: Wait, we’re supposed to organize the wrapping paper drawer.

Chandler: Yes, but I feel like I’ve really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think we’re two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.

Monica: You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. You’re right, I’m sorry.

Chandler: Nah, Nah, it’s okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.

Monica: Yeah. Go over to Joey’s. Go over to Joey’s and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall.

Chandler: You know when guys hang out they don’t just drink some beer and hammer up drywall?

Monica: When girls hang out, we don’t have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) I’m sorry. We do. We do. I don’t know why I said that.

[Scene: Joey and Janine’s apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]

Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. We’re knitting pot holders.

Chandler: No thanks, Josephine.

[Scene: Ross’s apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]

Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if… Oh my God!! Where are all the men???

[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kim’s waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]

Rachel: Ohh, hi, Kim.

Kim: Hi Rachel.

Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didn’t happen.

Kim: You didn’t cancel the fabric order from Taiwan?

Rachel: Okay, two things didn’t happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out that’s not true.

Kim: That’s not true?

Rachel: No.

Kim: Oh that’s interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.

Rachel: Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him.

Kim: Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken.

Rachel: I-I don’t want your job. I-I don’t. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I don’t even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)

Kim: Hi Ralph.

Ralph Lauren:: Hi Kim. (Dead silence until Ralph gets off the elevator.)

Kim: Yeah, nothing happen. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.

[Scene: Hillary’s apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]

Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.

Ross: Mmm-Hmm.

Hillary: And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.

Ross: Mmm.

Hillary: You know, you’re a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.

Ross: Mm-Hmm.

Hillary: After a while it’s like, shut your mouth, you know?

Ross: (Chuckling) Hmm-Hmm.

Hillary: I’ve probably been talking too much. Why don’t we talk about you a little bit?

Ross: Mmm-Unmm.

Hillary: Come on. I want to know.

Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, let’s talk more about you. Hmm.

[Scene: Joey and Janine’s apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]

Joey: So what’s really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.

Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.

Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.

Monica: Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because I’m going to teach you to make a bird feeder out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter.

Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)

Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?

Joey: What?

Chandler: You’re arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!

Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers they’re just, you know, they’re nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.

Chandler: You’re turning into a women.

Joey: No I’m not. Why would you say that? That’s just mean.

Chandler: Now I’ve upset you? What did I say?

Joey: It’s not what you said. It’s the way you said it….Oh My God, I’m a women!!!

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there.]

Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.

Phoebe: But why didn’t you just tell her the truth.

Rachel: I did but she doesn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren.

Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?

Rachel: You were with Kenny today, weren’t you?

Phoebe: Just for a second.

Rachel: Ohh, Phoebe, what am I going to do?

Phoebe: Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.

Rachel: I’m not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldn’t.

Phoebe: Ohh, sleep with Kenny.

Rachel: That wouldn’t help me.

Phoebe: Ohh, yes it would.

[Scene: Hillary’s apartment, Hillary and Ross are finishing up their date.]

Hillary: I’ve had a really good time tonight.

Ross: Mmm.

Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.

Ross: (Giggling) Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Picking up a piece of bread and covering his mouth.) Me, neither. I’ve had a really good time too, you know. (Putting the bread down.)

Hillary: Are you going to eat that bread?

Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.

Hillary: (Laughing) You make me laugh.

Ross: Hmm-Hmm.

Hillary: Would you like to move over to the couch?

Ross: Mmm-Hmm. (Picking up their wine glasses.)

Hillary: Maybe I’ll just turn the lights down a little.

Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.

Hillary: Okay. (She goes to turn the lights off and Ross sits on the couch. She has some black light posters on the wall.)

Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?

Hillary: Are those your teeth??

Ross: Ohh, you can see them, huh?

Hillary: Yes. They’re insanely white.

Ross: I-I, did that for you.

Hillary: What’s a matter with you?

Ross: What’s a matter with me? You’ve got a black light. It’s 1999!

[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.]

Rachel: Kim, hi.

Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.

Rachel: Okay..Okay.. Look. I’m sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore.

Kim: Oh, really?

Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I can’t do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I can’t do this. I’m married and I’m sorry." And then I don’t know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."

Kim: You expect me to believe..(Doors open, Ralph steps in.) Hi Ralph.

Ralph Lauren:: Hi Kim. (Dead silence again until he gets off.)

Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. It’s like he hates you. Then it is true.

Rachel: Of course it’s true and it hurts so bad.

Kim: Ohh honey come here. (Hugging Rachel.) Ohh it will be ok. We’ve all been there.

Rachel: You and Ralph?

Kim: Kenny the copyboy.

Ending Credits

[Scene: Joey and Janine’s apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]

Janine: Hey.

Joey: Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you.

Janine: What’s the matter? Are you upset?

Joey: I’m sorry but we’ve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? That’s just the way it has to be.

Janine: Well, if that’s what you want. I’ll just put it all in my room.

Joey: Great…Great…and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.

Janine: Okay.

Joey: And, uhh, maybe the watering can there.

Janine: Sure.

Joey: And a couple of these little tiny boxes.

Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?

Joey: (Smiling) Okay.

End


嗨.
Hi,我叫Chandler.我刚刚搬到隔壁.
我想知道你是否有兴趣和我在中风后的世界里战斗
看谁能控制银河系剩余的能源?
当然,邻居进来.
Janine 在吗?
Uh, 没, 她去上舞蹈课了.
我能看看她对我房间干了些什么吗?
当然。但是,别翻她的东西她真的会怒.
哦,上帝.
这里就像从来没有男人住过一样.
听着,你要非常小心, 女孩的东西都非常危险. 它几经开始传播了.
是吗???
是!在长椅上的是你的粉红枕头?
不是.
那是你的小小盒子吗,小得啥也放不进去的盒子?
不是.
不是! Ok,这不好. 你是个男人对吗?
这是个男人的地盘.
如果你任由这些东西存在, 那不久你就会坐着玩手工活了
好吧, 你是对的. 我要找她谈谈.
没错,和她谈谈. 做个男人.
- 我是个男人! - 捍卫自己. - Hmm.
Chandler 过来. 我们要缝防尘荷叶边.
我马上就来,亲爱的.
完全不同的情况.

嗨, 你和Hillary的早餐怎么样?
还行吧.
她还是有点沮丧.她和他的男友刚分手了
Ohh, 是吗
好吧, 是你的辣妹助理主厨Hillary?
是的.
当我进来的时候总是盯着我看的那个?
不,她看过你一次,是你因为你挡她路了.
我看得出,她喜欢我.
你为什么不为我们牵线呢?
Ohh, 你要为Ross牵线?
她有结婚礼服吗?
- 嗨. - 嗨.
- Rachel? - Yeah.
我, 嗯, 我在做些传单,好争取更多的按摩客户.
那么我能借用 Bloomingdale 的复印机吗?.
好吧, 当然,但是他们可能会觉得有点奇怪因为我已经不在那里工作了.
Oh my God. 怎么回事?
我-我, 在Ralph Lauren找了一份工作.
太棒了! 恭喜你!!
是啊. 已经一年了..
你在那坚持一年了.干得不错!
Pheebs, 你可以用我现在公司的复印机.
只是, 最好在午饭时间来. 那样我老板就不会发现你
Kim会怒的,而且她已经不是很喜欢我了.
真奇怪. 我觉得我老板也不喜欢我.
我也这样认为.
大概这是普遍现象?
也许,
因为你们周三11:30时还泡在这.
- 好吧 ,我们去工作吧. - 我们该走了.
谢谢你.
好的.
你不会相信这个.
当我在复印室复印的时候, Ralph Lauren进来了.
天啊. 你和他说话了?
当然,谈了一点. 他看起来真棒.
接吻高手.
什么?什么?你和他接吻了?
当然.
Phoebe 是真的吗?
当然. 我刚进到这,他介绍了自己, 接下来,就是亲热了.
Phoebe, 我的意思是,你知道他结婚了吗?
不!
Phoebe
那么我该怎么做? 问每个和我亲热的男人他结婚没?
不, 对, 我应该.
嗨 Joey.
嗨. 嗯, 我能和你谈一下吗?
这个, 嗯,在图片里的小孩. 你,嗯,你认识他吗? 是亲戚还是其他什么?
不, 我只是觉得它很可爱
Yeah, 这就是我所担心的.. Okay,
Uhh 听着 Janine,我真的很想让你觉得这里像家,
但是这些新东西. 它们太女性化了.
Ohh. 比如说?
这个. 图片里的可爱小孩,我们不认识他.
我们....我们不能挂它.
Joey, 这是 Anne Geddes. 她是个了不起的艺术家.
你看,我不认识这个婴儿.
我不知道她是不是个著名的艺术家.
你知道, 我不想做一个可恶的人
但是你把这里变得太多了.
好吧, 对不起. 我只是想把这里变得漂亮一些.
对 但是太多的东西.
你看, 你弄了蜡烛
还有这些绸绸缎缎的东西
这还有一张喷壶的画.
我只是想..
我知道它是很著名的喷壶, okay.
还有,浴室里那个烫棍儿是什么?
卷发钳.
Ohh,好吧 那个没问题.
那我的毛巾呢. 我到浴室这里
我的毛巾不在地板上,我一直都放在那
它在这,挂在钩子上,闻起来也不一样.
它干净了.
对, 是的, 它感觉也不一样.
它是干的了.
好吧, 我可以忍受这条干净毛巾.
那么这些小片片是什么??
不,不,不,不, 这是干花. 用来闻的.
好像碗里有个夏天.
Oh, Kim, Hi.
嗯哼.
你知道,
关于我交的那份行销报告我不知道你是怎么想的
我没读它.
啊.那么 Wow 春季新款, 今年的会很棒吧, 嗯?
Yeah.
我听说 Ralph Lauren 在复印室和某人鬼混
告诉我所有事.

嗨.
你们好吗?
你知道吗,Oh My God.
你的牙怎么了.
我把它们漂白了.
真的.
是啊.你们觉得怎么样?
好吧, 我想我不应该直接看它们.
拜托,认真点.
Ross 它们真,真,真,真..白.
Yeah,你原来的的人类牙齿怎么了?.
Ahh, 我-我把膏留的时间比规定的长了一点.
多长?
一...一天.
Ross 今天是你和Hillary约会的日子?
我知道. 所以我这样做. 好啦, 它们真的很糟?
不, 不 不 不. 你会看上去很好的. Hillary是瞎子, 对吗?
- 在今晚之后就是了. - 对.
Oh, 嗨, 嗨 Rach, 你注意到..ahh
是的. 你的牙? 没错, 我在外面就看到了.
你们永远也不会相信.
Phoebe和Ralph Lauren调情了.
- 什么??? - Oh my god.
是的,我知道. 她在我的办公室撞上他
然后他们就亲热了.
最疯狂的是, 我的老板现在喜欢我 因为我告诉了她这些她说这是她今年听到的最好的八卦.
今天我为我所有的朋友感到骄傲.
天啊, Rachel, 我不敢相信Phoebe和 Ralph Lauren亲热了.
Ohh, 我嫉妒死了.
Hi, 我是 Chandler. 你的同居男朋友
Chandler,得了.
看看他.
Oh,我不是女人, 不过这是一道不错的菜.
Hey. 哦, 这头银狐是谁??
他-他就是你亲热的对象. 你不认识他了吗?
Oh 等一下. Ohh, Phoebe 我爱你. 吻我.
他不是 Ralph Lauren. 尽管听上去像他.
什么?
对, 不, Ralph 和这个家伙没有一点相像.
他-他年轻,有一头长发和胡须,还有一个HACKY SACK球. (一种流行的运动玩具,像踢布口袋)
天啊, Phoebe, 那个人不是Ralph Lauren. 那是Kenny ,那个复印员.
什么?
Oh..Go..Oh..我还告诉了我老板,有人和Ralph Lauren亲热.
如果她发现我骗了她, 她会更加恨我的. Phoebe!!
为什么那个复印员说他是Ralph Lauren
为了和你亲热!!!
Ohhh.
Okay, 这样也许能让你的牙齿看上去不那么白.
不.
Okay, 不成功的颜色有 蓝, 黄, 绿, 红, 黑, 白, 桔红, 还有紫色.
我不知道该怎么办. 离约会还有一个小时了.
Ross, 如果你的皮肤亮一点.
你的牙就不会看上去那么亮了.
Oh 太好了. 所以我所需要做的就是换新皮肤. 谢谢你.
我的意思是, 如果我们只给你用少量化妆品.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. 我们不再是13岁了.
Ross 这是你唯一能在短时间里做到的.
但是,她会察觉到我上妆了?
得了吧. 天下的一半男人都上妆.
什么??
好了, 一半人类. 我的意思是,赶快做了看看.
不. 我不要化妆.
Hello. Oh 不错. Ross 你能帮我把那些传单贴上吗?
OH!! 魔鬼!! 魔鬼!!
现在抽屉会有好味道了,我们并没浪费这些裤袜.
没错, 上帝禁止我们扔掉旧内衣裤.
你-你知道吗? 我要到Joey那去.
等等, 我们该整理放包装纸的抽屉了.
没错, 但是我觉得我今天接触女性的东西太多了.
实际上我们离一对女同性恋只差一对香袋了.
你知道吗? 这是有点像女孩的一天. 你是对的, 我很抱歉.
不, 不, 这没问题. 我只是觉得 我必须到男人的地盘去. 做男人该做的事.
好. 到 Joey 那看看. 到 Joey 那看看,喝些啤酒,捶捶墙.
当男人住在一起他们不会只是喝喝啤酒,捶打墙
当女人住在一起, 我们不会穿着内衣打枕头战.
抱歉. 我们打.我们打 . 我不知道我为什么说这些.
嗨 Chandler.
过来. 我们正在织壶套.
不,谢谢了, Josephine.(女孩名)
嗨 Ross, 我想如果..
哦 天啊!! 男人都到哪去了???
Ohh,Hi, Kim.
Hi Rachel.
Yeah,记得我昨天和你说的那件事吗?
它根本没发生.
你没有取消从台湾的布匹订单?
好吧, 两件事没有发生.
记得我告诉你有人和Ralph Lauren在复印室里鬼混吗?
它不是真的.
那不是真的?
不是.
Oh 那很有趣? 因为我查过了
昨天午饭时间只有一张钥匙卡在复印室 被用过,而且那张钥匙卡是你的, Rachel.
Oh 不, 不, 不. 天啊, 你认为我和他亲热.
听我说.
如果你认为和Ralph睡觉 你就能获得我的职位. 你就犯了一个悲哀的错误.
我-我没想过要你的职位. 我-我没有. Ohh 这只是一个误会.
我没有和他亲热.没有人和他亲热.
昨天我也没有用我的钥匙卡. 我甚至不知道怎么用钥匙卡.
嗨 Ralph.
Hi Kim.
Yeah, 什么都没生. 你都能用刀去割刚才这里性张力(像根弦).
自那以后我只能当一个厨师.
Mmm-Hmm.
也许有一天, 我希望能有我自己的餐馆.
Mmm.
你真是一个伟大的听众.
我以前交往的大多数人, 他们只会侃侃而谈.
Mm-Hmm.
不久就感觉像‘闭嘴吧’, 你懂我的意思?
Hmm-Hmm.
我也许说得太多了. 为什么不谈一下你?
Mmm-Unmm.
来吧,我很想知道.
Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. 好吧.
我, uh, 我出生在长岛. 我-我上大学的时候进了城.
Um, 我, um, 有一个五岁的男孩
我在业余时间读些侦探小说. 好了好了.让我们谈谈你吧 Hmm.
最棒的是. 如果你先用煎锅把花茎烤干,
这样你插的花就能保持新鲜.
哦,天啊, Joey, 这正是个了不起的秘诀.
Monica, 你能让我们谈一下吗? 我想和这个拿花的女人谈谈.
Okay. Oh 不过 Joey, 过会儿过来 我要教你用松果和花生酱作喂鸟的罐子.
Ohh, 我爱鸟.
你怎么回事 ?!?
什么?
你在插花!
你还摆弄干花!
你有一幅画, 一个小孩穿得像花的一幅画!
这不是 Joey!!
Hey. Hey看我还是Joey, okay.
花只是, 你知道, 它们很好看.
这是一个著名的艺术家画的画.
一个著名的婴儿.
你在变成女人.
不,我没有.
为什么你要这样说? 这话太恶毒了.
现在我惹恼你? 我刚才说什么了?
不是你说了什么. 是你说话的方式.
哦,天啊,我成了一个女人!!!
现在, 她认为我和他亲热只是为了得到她的职位.
但是为什么你不告诉她真相.
我试过了,但是她不相信有人会蠢到把Kenny 和 Ralph Lauren搞混了.
好吧, hey,如果Kenny是整个公司的后台老板?
如果 Ralph Lauren是Kenny 雇来做他可爱的代言人 Huh,她没有这样想过吗?
你今天和Kenny在一起 , 是吗?
只一会儿.
Ohh, Phoebe, 我该怎么做?
好吧, 你所能做的就是和 Ralph Lauren上床.
我不会和 Ralph Lauren上床的. 我的意思是, 我能, 但我不会.
Ohh, 和 Kenny上床.
那也帮不了我.
Ohh, 可以的.
我今晚过得非常愉快.
Mmm.
你知道,我很少和第一次约会的人谈这么多.
Hmm-Hmm-Hmm.
我也是.
我也过得非常愉快.
你要吃那片面包吗??
Ohh,我只是喜欢闻它. Mmmm.
- 你真逗. - Hmm-Hmm.
- 你想到睡椅上来吗? - Mmm-Hmm.
也许我可以把灯调暗一点.
全关了怎么样.
Okay.
Wow, 好酷的海报. 我因该说很帅的海报?
那么, ahh, 我们谈到哪了?
那些是你的牙吗??
Ohh, 你能看到它们, huh?
Yes. 它们发疯一样的白.
我-我是为你做的.
你怎么了?
什么我怎么了? 你这有黑光. 这是1999年! (黑光使萤光物体发出可见光)
Kim, hi.
Hi Rachel. Ohh, 我不是特意这样问你. 你看过Ralph Lauren的新产品单吗? Ohh, 我在想什么. 你当然见过.
好吧..好吧.. 听着.
我为之前骗了你感到抱歉. 你是对的. Ralph 和我是有一腿
不过现在再也不是了.
Oh, 真的?
没错, 他甩了我.
他说, "Rachel, 我们不能这样做. 尽管你是个非常,非常,非常美的女人.
我不能这样做. 我已经结婚了,我很抱歉."
接着我不知道为什么,他说"你永远不会得到提升. 更不可能得到比 Kim高的职位, 她是 Ralph Lauren 这个机器里的一个核心齿轮."
你认为我会相信..
- Hi Ralph. - Hi Kim.
哦,天啊. 他刚给你的表情, 是我见过最冷酷的. 他恨你.
那是真的.
当然那是真的,太伤人了.
Ohh 亲爱的到这来. Ohh 这会好的.
我们都经历过.
你和 Ralph?
Kenny那个复印员.
Hey.
Hey, uhh, 我想和你谈谈.
怎么了? 你不高兴?
我很抱歉,我们应该摆脱这些女人的东西.
我, uh, 我得像个男人了!
Okay. 起居室得保持男人的风格, okay?
必须得这样.
好吧,如果这是你需要的. 我就把它们搬到我房间里.
很好,很好,感谢你这么体谅我. 我的意思是, 我不想把这事搞得很严重似的,
你可以, uh, 把那个著名的孩子的画挂在我房里.
我是说,如果你愿意.
Okay.
And, uhh, 喷壶也可以挂在那.
好的.
还有这对小盒子.
Joey? 你希望我把这些都放进你房里?
好的.

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