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老友记第六季The One With The Routinue

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有个问题,为什么现在每个人都喜欢用这么小的灯?记得过去人们都用大些的灯俄 这个故事不错哦,爷爷 嘿/嘿 欧,monica竟然让别人装饰他的圣诞树!是不是谁把他灌醉了,要不....? 一个完美装点的圣诞树并不是圣诞的真正意义 真正意义能和你所爱的人在一起 不错哦我们搞定了 tata ! 我不知道这是什么玩意,对我来说感觉不像圣诞 哦,瞧这边 哦现在有些圣诞的感觉了 这就是dreidel的故事,现在人们把圣诞树(的起源)追述到埃及人 他们过去常常在每年最短的一天把绿色的小树枝带回他们的家,以此来象征生命对于死亡的胜利。这似乎是4000年前的事了 好像和你开始讲这故事的时间差不多 嘿,大家好啊 嘿,joe怎么了 我不得不从家里逃出来,janine在整个屋子里折腾。你知道,随便在哪里她怎么看都.... 我知道为什么难以抵抗了 我非常喜欢她 哦,我很遗憾甜心她没有这么感觉 我知道,他这么迷人,我只是想...喂喂她点葡萄给他梳梳头发 你应该意识到她可不是一只猴子吧 我对janine没什么感觉了。我的意思是,起先我觉她爆性感,但现在没这回事了 嘿 伙计们/hi janine ! 刚才我接到个电话,让我在新年前夕的电视特别节目演一个跳舞的,那节目好像叫什么Dick'n Rock'n Dickie Eve 慢!你是指Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve? 也,我说的就是这个 哦天哪,我喜欢这个节目!我和ross从很小的时候就开始看这个了 我知道你骨子里还一直是那个肥婆(虽然现在外表看上去不是了)不是吗? 今年我要上这节目,我会成为这派队的一员 你也要上这节目?他们可酷毙了 他们说要我带些人去,你愿意做我的舞伴吗? 绝对!我太愿意和你一起度过新年 事实上明天他们就要拍了,我不知道为什么 哦,让我告诉你怎么回事,Dick Clark在时代广场的部分事实上是现场直播的,但是他们把派队的部分事先拍好了 yeah,不是很多人都知道 那么,你们打算一起来吗? 你没开玩笑吧 我们当然去 什么,你在笑什么? well,我过去常常和他约会,但你还在和他交往哦 谢谢,太棒了我们都一起去。我得先走了,回头见 Bye! / Bye Janine! 他是不是刚刚约我出去? 我不这么认为 你在说什么啊?她刚刚不是约他去千禧年最大的派队 也,但她也约了你和ross,也,甜心,我很遗憾,我不认为那会是件很浪漫的事 哦,可能吧。我知道该怎么办,我们要参加新年派队。对吧? 然后在午夜,我可以吻她,然后要是她吻回我....太棒了 你知道?但是要是她说“伙计你到底在干什么啊!?”我可以说“不是我,是新年” well,这可比ross在高中时要吻我的理由好多了,他那时候吻了我后说他只是想要抹点唇膏(用于防止嘴唇干裂) 那天很干燥 我们要去Dick Clark's的新年派队!/ Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! ok,听着我过去参加过这个。所以让我给你点小建议,怎样?这是个秀,但是我们只不过跳舞,没什么大不了的 最重要的....冷静点 知道了 Oh my God 这就像我梦见的一样 大家集中一下 让一让 我们接下来要做这些。音乐会响起来,你们跳起舞来,我们就开拍,别看着摄影机 有什么问题吗? 也,我有个问题,什么时候播这个? 俄,也。现在你们在那里跳,你们在那里,我要你们俩人就在这里,大家分散行动了 ross!到底什么时候播啊? okay,你们到厨房里找,我到厕所里找 我在这里啊,女士们,我可以帮你们节省时间 也,chandler 为什么不去散散步呢?这和你无关 我们在找monica给我们准备的圣诞礼物 什么?这可不好! 不-不,我们每年都这么干 哦,呢看起来不会太糟 不,也。我们从没找到过!她藏的真的很....这个溅人 别担忧,我们现在这里找1个小时,然后么我们去joey那里找找,ok? 不,不好,你不能找monica的礼物 但我们一定要 不,你不能,不能因为我在这里(虽然monica不在) 那么.....你帮我们一起找 为什么 chandler,你难道不想知道monica给你准备了什么圣诞礼物? 不,我给她准备的很不错 哦,就因为这个?很不错 chandler,这不够。我的意思是要是她给了一个爆酷的...2个一般的...一对很垃圾的礼物? 然后你给了她一个酷毙了的,那会使她感觉很糟的,你怎么能这样对她?为什么?为什么? 要是我帮忙,我们能快点找到!/没错! 哦!我找到一个! 哦,这是macy的包包 哦,这会是给谁的呢? 亲爱的失败者,你真的认为我会把礼物藏在沙发下面?附注,chandler我知道他们会把你一起拖下水 哦!她一定在监视我们 我们今年一定要找到! 你知道当你们说你们要穿过大厅(到那里)去找,你没有,你们没有每年都干过这个吧? Yeah.(我们找过啊) 你没有,到我的洗手间后面,到我的运动包里找过吧... 不,我们没找过呢里 因为joey要给我东西前会先藏的地方可我这辈子都没找过那里 okay,这是不可能的! okay,有过来一个摄影机 没错,没什么大不了的,放松点 为什么他们老是这样 如果我们想上镜头,我想们应该上那个梯台,他们一直在拍那上面的人 没错 嘿,你们干了什么他们让你上梯台的啊? 我学过怎么跳舞 哦,也?当你学会怎么跳舞的时候你是不是忘记了怎么穿裤子?/也 嘿!你跳的真不错 真的吗? 也,你要是把你的臀部放松点会好些 你什么意思 像这样 就这样,感觉一下旋律,好些了 Uh-huh. okay,你和那边那个女孩去跳舞 不=不=不=不 我们是一起的 我不这么认为.你和那个高个的跳舞.高个,举一下你的手 不=不 嘿,朋友,让我和那个女孩跳舞吧,我真的喜欢她我觉得我有机会... 真的,你真得这么认为?我不.... joey那边我什么都找不到,嘿嘿 哦黑 这是我们找到的.在厕所里衣服下面的 也,你没什么可以担忧的因为都是些垃圾 这是我的礼物,为你们准备的 哦,谢谢chandler 真得很棒 well chandler,这是什么很奇怪,金属A Z? 这是书夹,很棒的东东 哦,okay,我很抱歉,谢谢你为我的屁股准备的 Ha! 你们把这些东西放回洗手间,okay !? yes,okay,oh,顺便我有些话要说,我想你真得很不错,甚至在你搬走之后,你仍保存着joey的东西 嘿嘿 跳舞的女孩,我可以去一下洗手间吗?我有点...让我们走 geller 家的看上去真cool 我们知道 嘿,看到那边那个脾气急躁的家伙吗? 他就是决定谁上梯台的家伙,我们应该到他旁边去跳 Okay. okay,大家停一下 接下来上梯台的是你们两个 还有你们俩 对不起,先生,要是我不穿裤子是不是有用?/monica! 怎样? 嘿!高个!嘿,听着,我想和你谈谈那个和你一起跳舞女孩的事 她很不错,huh?我觉得我老婆差不多就是她 * Yeah, yeah, okay. 朋友,我是和她一起来的,我还有个新年到来时吻她的计划,我正在试图赢取她的芳心 所以我在想...../不,我不这么认为 哦 朋友,你可以和我的舞伴跳舞,她真的...很“西瓜“ 你有没有和你带来的那个女孩约会? well,我正希望今夜之后可能...你知道 不,不 对谁来说都是公平的 对不起 朋友 好的,好的,嘿!你知道公平....你是对的...我该说些什么呢,但是嘿 不 天哪!你在干什么?你两年级吗? 嘿,现在是你把他的裤子弄湿了 糟透了!你知道要是我们弄得老爸老妈如此嫉妒而我们最后我们却没上电视,我的意思是,谁会变成失败者? 嘿,我知道我们该怎么把自己弄上那梯台了 什么?/ The routine! Ross, 我们中学之后再也没跳过The routine! 嘿,当那个坏脾气的家伙看到我们The routine他会给我们再搭一个梯台的 真有那么好吗? 在兄妹舞蹈的单子里我们可是被荣誉提名的哦 看,这反正是个假的午夜,我们真的还有别的选择么? okay,让我们干这个吧,老爸老妈一定会很有面子 (guess) 5 6 7 8! 这么,我们真的一定要问接下来谁上梯台吗? 哦,不!你们快上梯台就把刚刚跳得再来一遍 Yes! 一定要把这个拍下来,傻瓜秀的时候他们一定会要这个 cut!大家听好了,我们再次开机的时候将是马上要新年的时候,所以我想看到大家兴奋点 嘿,朋友,你有3秒钟时间离开我的舞伴 发生什么事情了 uh,快看这个人的裤子阿,我知道,你叫大家兴奋点,但你不觉得他有点过头了 你是不是有病啊!滚远点 也,换一条远足防水裤吧 你能相信这个吗?我们将在梯台上迎接千禧年! 我知道,黑,你没有一直在练routine吧? 不...(yes) 我也是 嘿,音乐再响起的时候,我想我们可以试试机器人舞 ross,我想我们还是应该跳routine,我不想我们看起来像个傻瓜 好的,我们继续,还差10秒了。10,9,8,7 okay, 这即将发生了.不管发生什么,那是命运 3,2,1 Cut! / No! Year! Happy No Year! okay, 这里我们将切到时代广场的现场直播,大家干得不错 就到这了 嘿!看我找到谁了 哦,好啊,伙计们 你知道,birds 对于方向又非常好的感觉,我觉得他们说不定能帮我们找到礼物到底藏在哪里 是啊,要是礼物为了过冬藏在南边的话 要不我们可以跟随你聪明的笑话?no!我不这么认为,okay加油伙计们,告诉我们礼物到底在哪里 哦,鸭子似乎认为monica会给我一堆垃圾!hmm,我想我能给monica些像垃圾一样的东西呢? hmm,我的屁屁怎么样 嘿,这边是空心的 什么?/这个长凳,是空心的!我简直不相信我从来不知道这个,哦,礼物也 不,不要直接看着他们 什么 好的,不,我可以看 哦,这个是我的 哦,这个是chandler的.这呢/哦!太棒了 这个大玩意是我的 哦,让我们打开吧!okay ! okay ! okay ! hee hee! / 等等,我们不能这样 为什么 我不想知道monica给我什么 你知道?我的意思是,我确信她为了给你个礼物费了很多神,并且他想给我们个惊喜,但你们正要把这一切都毁了。我,看着,我们得把它放回去 这不是monica所关心的 不管怎样,我要开我的 没人开任何东西 好不?看着 我不知道你们怎么想的,但是当我monica我的礼物时我期待着看到她的表情,并且我想当monica给我她的礼物时她同样期待着看到我的表情 所以求求你们,我们是不是能把它放回去 除非你给我更好的礼物 好吧 hey 伙计们!你们找到了我的礼物?chandler你让他们找到礼物的? 太棒了!你知道我花了多长时间帮你买到净水器吗? 这就是你给我的? 哦,我知道你什么意思了,这表情看上去毫无价值 多甜美的家啊,欢迎回到现实中来,我们知道新年将怎么度过 我猜也没什么理由搞什么y2k的野餐了。管它呢,晚安 Joey. / Yeah? 3, 2, 1. 新年快乐 这是为了什么? well,我不知道今晚当他们叫cut的时候我们没有接吻,我真的真得很失望 我真的很想吻你 真的?此刻,我也真得很想吻你,此刻 那个时候也/那个时候 那么,你还想kiss吗? 当然,新年夜只有2周了,你能等吗? 不 我当然等不了了 3, 2, joey你没必要我们每次接吻时都倒数 uh,yeah,okay 除非我可能感觉我需要几秒钟做一下准备 我们那时候正在梯台上,准备跳舞迎接y2k,那家伙竟然喊cut 等等,你们似乎在告诉我你们真的8年级以后还在跳 the routine 也.但当然我们不得不更新一点东东.嘿,顺便说一下你要抱我的想法真不错 因为我得说你们不可能以过去的方法完成(the routine)最后一步 什么?我们可以做到的 我不知道,我的意思是你那个时候有一点点大,我的意思是,强壮那个时候 我可以做到的,okay?让我们做给你们看 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 我做不到 你现在要是办得到,那你就能上电视

The One With The Routinue

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]

Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.

Rachel: That’s a good story, Grandpa.

(Ross enters)

Ross: Hey

All: Hey

Ross: Wow, Monica’s letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?

Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. It’s about being with the people that you love.

Phoebe: That is nice and we’re done. TADA!

(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)

Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesn’t quite feel like Christmas to me.

Monica: Oh, here.

(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)

Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Joey are there.]

Ross: … and that’s the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising life’s triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.

Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.

(Joey enters)

Joey: Hey you guys.

Chandler: Hey Joe what’s up?

Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Y’know, everywhere I look she’s like… (He imitates her stretching)

Chandler: I can see why that’s hard to resist.

Joey: I like her so much!

Monica: Aw, I’m sorry sweetie that she doesn’t feel the same way.

Joey: I know. And she’s so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair.

Chandler: You are aware that she’s not a m, right?

Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she’s like OLD NEWS!

(Janine enters)

Janine: Hey guys!

Ross: Hi Janine!

Janine: I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Year’s Eve. It’s called some sort of Dick’n Rock’n Dickie Eve.

Monica: Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rocking Eve?

Janine: Yeah, that’s what I said.

Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!

Chandler: Ah, you’re still just a little fat girl inside aren’t you? (He kisses her on the cheek)

Janine: Well I’m gonna be on it this year. I’m gonna be one of the party people.

Ross: You’re gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!

Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?

Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Year’s with you.

Janine: Well actually they’re taping tomorrow. I don’t really understand why.

Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.

Janine: Yeah well, do you guys wanna come too?

Ross: Are you serious?

Monica: We are there!

(Rachel laughs)

Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?

Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but you’re still going out with her!

(Gunther brings Janine a coffee)

Janine: Thanks. (To Monica and Ross) Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later!

(Janine leaves)

All: Bye!

Ross: Bye Janine!

Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?

Chandler: I don’t think so.

Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!

Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t think that was a romantic thing.

Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. We’re going to a New Year’s Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Y’know? But if she says ‘Dude, what the hell are you doing?’ I can say ‘It wasn’t me, it was New Years!’

Rachel: Well, that’s a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.

Ross: It was a dry day.

Monica: We are going to Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rocking Eve!

Ross: Oh my God!

Monica: Oh my God!

Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!

[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]

Joey: OK, listen I’ve been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? It’s a show, but we’re just dancing, OK? It’s no big deal. The important thing to remember – stay cool.

Ross: Got it!

(They get to the main stage)

Ross: Oh my God it’s just like I dreamed it!

Director: OK, everyone gather up.

(Monica and Ross push to the front)

Monica and Ross: ‘Scuse us

Director: Here’s what’s gonna happen. The music’s gonna start, you’re gonna dance, we’re gonna tape, you don’t look at the camera. Any questions?

Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?

(He and Monica laugh)

Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.

Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]

Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.

Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I’m right here.

Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don’t you take a walk? This doesn’t concern you.

Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.

Chandler: What? That’s terrible!

Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!

Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.

Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She’s always best at us that wily minx.

Rachel: Don’t worry, we’re just gonna search here for an hour, them we’re gonna go over to Joey’s and search, OK?

Chandler: No not okay, you can’t look for Monica’s presents!

Phoebe: But we have to!

Chandler: No, you don’t have to, and you can’t because I live here too.

Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.

Chandler: Why?

Rachel: Chandler, aren’t you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?

Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.

Phoebe: Oh, that’s it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!

Rachel: Chandler, that’s not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you’ve just gotten her one great present? I mean that’s just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?

Chandler: If I help, we can find ‘em faster!

Rachel: That’s right!

(Phoebe looks under the couch)

Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!

Rachel: Oh, it’s a Macy’s bag!

(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)

Phoebe: Ooh, who’s it for?

Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think I’d hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they’d break you.

Phoebe: Uh-oh. She may be onto us.

Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.

Chandler: Y’know when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you don’t, you don’t do that every year do you?

Rachel: Yeah.

Chandler: You don’t, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?

Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that

(They turn away.)

Chandler: Because that’s where Joey gave me some stuff to store that I’ve never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)

[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]

Monica: Okay, here comes another camera.

Ross: Right. No biggie. Stay loose.

(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)

Ross: Why do they keep doing that?

Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. They’ve been taping those people up there all day.

Ross: Right.

(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)

Ross: Hey, what’d you guys do to get up on there?

Girl: We learned how to dance.

Monica: Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants?

Ross: Yeah!

(Camera pans to Joey and Janine)

Janine: Hey! You’re a good dancer!

Joey: Really?

Janine: Yeah, well you’d be better if you just loosened your hips a little.

Joey: What do you mean?

Janine: Like this.

(She pulls Joey towards her and dances really close to him.)

Janine: That’s it, feel the rhythm. That’s better.

Joey: Uh-huh.

Director: (To Joey) Okay, you’re dancing with that girl over there.

Joey: No-no-no-no-no we came together!

Director: I don’t see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)

Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.

Director: Really, y’think so? I don’t..

(He leaves, and this girl grabs Joey and starts dancing really wild.)

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]

Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey--Hey-hey, oh hey!

Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.

Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!

Chandler: Those are my gifts, I got them for you.

Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!

Rachel: Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing?

Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!

Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.

Rachel: Ha!

Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?

Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!

(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)

[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]

Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!

Ross: We know!

Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? He’s the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.

Ross: Okay.

(They dance over to him.)

Director: Okay, everybody hold!

(Ross and Monica high-five)

Director: Next on the platforms are… (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where he’s pointing to. He points away from them) …you two! And… (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) …You two!

Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I weren’t wearing underpants?

Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?

(The director shakes his head.)

[Scene: The Men’s Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]

Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that you’re dancing with.

Tall Guy: She’s nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!

Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown – I’m trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..

Tall Guy: No I don’t think so.

Joey: Oh come on man, you can dance with my partner, she’s real, uh, mellow!

Tall Guy: Look, are you dating this girl you came with?

Joey: Well, I was hoping after tonight that maybe I could you know…

Tall Guy: No, no. She’s fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!

Joey: Alright, alright, hey y’know fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if you’re right, you’re right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guy’s pants)

Tall Guy: God! What are you, in second grade?

Joey: Hey, now you’re the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)

[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]

Monica: Man, this sucks! Y’know if Mom and Dad don’t see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, who’s gonna be the losers then?

Ross: Hey, I know what’ll get us up on a platform!

Monica: What?

Ross: The routine!

Monica: Ross, we haven’t done the routine since middle school.

Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, he’ll wanna build us our own platform!

Monica: Was it really that good?

Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, it’s almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?

Monica: Okay, let’s do it. Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!

(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)

Monica: 5 6 7 8!

(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. I’m sorry.)

(When they finish, they walk over to the director)

Ross: So, do we really have to ask who’s going up on the platform next?

Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!

Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)

Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, they’re gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again it’s gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybody’s excitement.

[Cut to Joey and Janine]

Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.

Director: What’s going on over here?

Joey: Uh, take a look at the guy’s pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but don’t you think he went a little overboard?

Director: What’s the matter with you? Get out of here!

Joey: Yeah, take a hike wetpants!

(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)

[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]

Ross: Can you believe this? We’re gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!

Monica: I know! Hey, you haven’t been practising the routine, have you?

Ross: No!

Monica: Me too!

Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, y’know? (He mimics a robot)

Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we don’t wanna look stupid!

Director: Alright we’re back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)

Joey’s Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.

All: Three, Two, One!

Director: Cut!

Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!

Director: Okay, here’s where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone that’s a wrap!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]

Phoebe: Hey! Look who I found!

Chandler: Oh, hey guys!

Phoebe: Y’know, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.

Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.

Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes – any ideas? No! Didn’t think so! Okay, c’mon guys, show us where the presents are!

Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica that’s as good as garbage?

Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?

(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)

Rachel: Hey, this is hollow.

Phoebe: What?

Rachel: This bench, it’s hollow! I can’t believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!

Phoebe: No, don’t look directly at them!

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!

Rachel: Oh, this one’s for me!

Phoebe: Oh, this one’s for Chandler. Here.

Chandler: Oh great!

Phoebe: And the big one’s for me!

Rachel: Ooh, let’s open them!

Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!

Phoebe: Hee hee!

Chandler: Wait, we can’t do this.

Phoebe and Rachel: Why?

Chandler: I don’t wanna know what Monica got me. Y’know? I mean, look, I’m sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.

Rachel: Whatever Linus, I’m opening mine.

Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monica’s face when I give her my present, and I’m sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?

Phoebe: Will you get us better gifts?

Chandler: Fine!

(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)

Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?

Chandler: That’s what you got me?

Phoebe: Oh yes, I see what you mean. That look is priceless.

(Rachel leans over to look at him.)

[Scene: Joey and Janine’s apartment, they both enter.]

Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Year’s gonna go off. I guess there’s no reason for all that Y2K panic, y’know? Anyway, g’night!

Janine: Joey.

Joey: Yeah?

Janine: (She takes his hands) 3, 2, 1. (She kisses him) Happy New Year.

Joey: Oh, yoii. What was that for?

Janine: Well, I don’t know tonight when they yelled cut and we didn’t get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you

Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.

Janine: In the moment, yeah.

Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?

Janine: Sure, New Year’s Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait?

Joey: No.

Janine: Me neither.

Joey: 3, 2,

Janine: Joey, you don’t have to count down every time we kiss.

Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.

(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)

Ending Credits

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone except Joey is there.]

Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled ‘CUT!’

Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?

Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!

Rachel: ‘Cos I was gonna say there’s no way you could’ve done the end the way you guys did it back then!

Monica: What? We could do it!

Ross: I don’t know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.

Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, let’s go. (She and Ross get up)

Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)

Monica: I can’t do it! (Ross falls into Monica’s room)

Chandler: Now you do that, you’re on TV.

End

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