人生不设限·把恐惧化为动力，让我自立自强
You and I will never be as dominant in a sport as Michael Jordan was, but you can be like Mike in using fear as a motivational tool to keep chasing your dreams and the life you want to create.
萝拉是我在学校的朋友，她很聪明，总是能说出心中所想的，不会浪费时间。一年级的某一天，萝拉问我：“你在学校有助教帮你，那在家里呢?谁负责照料你的生活?”
Laura Gregory was a very smart school friend. I could always count on her to say exactly what she was thinking. She did not mess around. One day in our first year, Laura asked, "So you have a teacher's aide to help you at school. But who takes care of you at home?"
“哦，是我父母。”我不确定她究竟想问什么。
"Well, my parents do," I said, though I wasn't certain what she was getting at.
“你觉得这样好吗?”
"Are you okay with that?"
“你指的是我父母照顾我这件事吗?当然啊，不然我还能怎么办?”
"With my parents helping me? Sure, what else would I do?"
“我说的是穿衣服、洗澡和上厕所这类事情。”她说，“你的尊严何在?难道你不觉得这些事情不自己来有点奇怪吗?”
"I mean with things like getting dressed and showering and using the bathroom?" she said. "What about your dignity? Don't you think it's a little weird that you can't do that on your own?"
萝拉并非有意伤我，她喜欢追根究底，所以真的很想知道我对生活各个层面的想法，但是她触及了一个非常敏感的话题。在成长过程中，我最大的恐惧之一就是成为我所爱的人的包袱。担心自己过于依赖父母和弟弟妹妹的想法从没离开过我，有时我会在夜里冷汗直流地醒来，害怕爸爸、妈妈走了，而我只能依靠亚伦和蜜雪儿。
Laura didn't mean to hurt my feelings. She was a truth seeker, and she truly wanted to know how I felt about every aspect of my life. But she touched on a sensitive subject. One of my greatest fears growing up was that I was a burden on the people I loved. The thought of being overly dependent on my parents, and on my brother and sister too, was never far from my mind. Sometimes I would wake up at night in a cold sweat, terrorized by the thought of my parents being gone, leaving me dependent on Aaron or Michelle.
这种恐惧十分真实，有时光是想着自己必须依赖他人，我就快受不了了。然而，萝拉直率地提到尊严的问题，却让我从被这种恐惧折磨的状态，转变成从中得到动力。我之前会有意无意地想到依赖他人过活这件事，但那天之后，我决定正视问题，积极处理。
That fear was a very real one. Sometimes I was nearly overwhelmed by visions of dependency. Laura's blunt questions about my dignity helped move me from being tormented by that fear to being motivated by it. Questions about my dependency had always lingered on the edges of my consciousness, but after that day I put them at the forefront of my mind, and I decided to address them aggressively.
如果我真的用心解决这个问题，那么，我到底可以变得多独立?我非常害怕成为自己所爱的人的负担，这种恐惧给了我驱动的热情和推动自己的力量。我必须为自己多做一些，但是该怎么做?
If I really put my mind to it, just how independent could I become? Motivated by my fear of burdening my loved ones, I created that mission statement—even though at the time I had not a clue as to what a mission statement was. My fear gave me a driving passion and the strength to push myself. I need to do more for myself. But how?
爸爸、妈妈一直向我保证他们随时愿意帮助我，不在意抱起我，帮我穿衣服，或是做任何我需要他们做的事。但我连自己喝一口水都办不到，还有，每次上厕所都得有人把我抱上马桶座，这些事真的让我很困窘。渐渐长大之后，我自然想要更独立，也希望更能自己照顾自己，而我的恐惧让我下定决心采取行动。
My parents always assured me that they were there to help me and that they didn't mind carrying me, lifting me, dressing me, or doing whatever I needed them to do. But it bothered me that I couldn't even get a drink of water by myself, and someone always had to lift me onto the toilet seat. As I grew older, I naturally wanted more independence, and I wanted to look after myself more. My fear gave me the determination to take action on those desires.
促使我采取行动的理由之一，是我想到有一天当爸爸、妈妈都不在时，我会成为弟弟亚伦的负担。我之所以常常会有这个念头，是因为我觉得可怜的亚伦应该有权利过正常的生活，但大部分时间他都得帮我，跟我一起生活，然后看着我得到那么多关注。我觉得上帝真的亏欠他，亚伦有手有脚，但在某些方面他其实很吃亏，因为他总是觉得他一定得照顾我。
One of the thoughts that really stirred me to action was the image of me being a burden on my brother Aaron once my parents were no longer around. I'd often worried about that because if anybody deserved a normal life, it was my poor little brother. I felt like God owed him that because for most of his life he'd been stuck helping me, living with me, and seeing me get so much attention. Aaron had arms and legs, but in some ways he got the raw end of the deal because he always felt he had to look out for me.
而我决定更自立自强，也是基于自我保护。萝拉提醒了我，我的生活起居一直仰赖别人的好心与耐心，但我知道不能老是靠别人，我也有自尊心。
My decision to become more self-sufficient, as much as any concern, was a matter of self-preservation. Laura reminded me that I was still dependent on the kindness and patience of others. I knew that I could not always be so reliant on that. And pride played into it too.
有一天我会组成一个家庭，我可不希望到时我老婆必须拎着我四处跑。我还想要小孩，想要当个好爸爸，好好养家，因此我想，我的生活不能全都在这张轮椅上。
I am fully capable of having a family one day, and I would never want my wife to have to carry me around. I want to have kids and be a good father and a good provider too, so I thought, I need to get out of this wheelchair.
恐惧可能是你的敌人，但在这里，我把它变成朋友。我向爸爸、妈妈宣布，我要想办法照顾自己，而一开始他们当然很担心。
Fear can be your foe, but in this case I made it my friend. I announced to my parents that I wanted to find ways to care for myself. They were, of course, worried at first.
“你不必那样做啊，我们会让你一直受到照顾的。”他们说。
"You don't have to do that. We'll make sure you're always cared for," they said.
“爸爸、妈妈，为了你们，也为了我自己，我一定要这么做。所以现在就让我们集思广益一下，看看可以怎么做吧!”我说道。
"Mum, Dad, I must do this for you and for me, so let's put our heads together and figure this out," I said.
于是我们就开始想了。在某些方面，我们的创意成果让我想起一部老电影《海角一乐园》：罗宾逊一家人因为船难而漂流到一座荒岛，他们设计了一些很棒的小东西，供洗澡、煮饭和生活上使用。我知道没有人会是一座孤岛，特别是像我这种没手没脚的人——我可能比较像半岛或海峡吧。
And we did. In some ways our creative efforts reminded me of the old Swiss Family Robinson movie. Stranded on an island, they all pitch in and devise amazing gadgets for bathing, cooking, and surviving. I know no man is an island, especially a man with no arms and no legs. Maybe I was more like a peninsula, or an isthmus.
一开始，我的护士妈妈和巧手爸爸想到一个办法，让我可以自己洗澡和洗头。爸爸把莲蓬头的旋钮换成我可以用肩膀推动的控制杆，妈妈则买了一个不必用手挤压的给皂器，使用的是医院手术室的洗手台那种脚踏式泵。我们加以改良后，我可以踏在上面，挤出肥皂和洗发精。
My mum the nurse and my dad the handyman first came up with a method for me to shower and shampoo my hair. Dad replaced the round knobs on the shower with levers that I could move with my shoulders. Then mum brought home a hands-free soap dispenser with a foot pump, used by doctors prepping for surgery. We adapted it so I could use it to pump soap and shampoo by stepping on it.
然后，我和爸爸为电动牙刷设计了一个固定在墙上的塑胶座，这样我按一个钮就可以开关电动牙刷，然后用前后移动的方式刷牙(动的是我的头，而不是牙刷)。
Then my dad and I came up with a design for a plastic holder to mount on the wall for an electric toothbrush. I could turn it on and off by pressing a switch and then brush my teeth by moving back and forth.
我还跟爸爸、妈妈说我想要自己穿衣服，所以妈妈帮我做了加上魔鬼毡的短裤，这样我就可以自行滑进、滑出裤子。另外，衬衫的纽扣对我来说可是个大挑战，结果我们找到那种可以甩到头上，再扭动着套进去的衬衫。
I told my parents that I wanted to be able to dress myself, so my mum made shorts with a Velcro strip that I could slip in and out of by myself. Shirt buttons have always been a challenge for me, so we found shirts that I could slip on and off by throwing them over my head and wriggling into them.
我最大的恐惧是我们三个人展开一项兼具挑战与乐趣的任务，这些各式各样的发明提升了我独立生活的能力。而遥控器、手机、电脑键盘和车库大门遥控器都是上帝赐给我的礼物，因为我用小左脚就可以操作。
My major fear had sent the three of us on a mission that was both challenging and fun as we invented ways for me to be more independent. Remote controls, cell phones, computer keyboards, and remote garage-door openers are a blessing for me because I can operate them with my foot.
有些我们想到的解决方案不是那么高科技，例如我会用鼻子去按保全系统的按钮，还会把高尔夫球杆的杆头夹在下巴和脖子之间，然后用另一端去开灯、开窗户。
Some of the solutions we came up with weren't exactly high tech. I learned how to turn off our home security alarm using my nose to push the buttons, and I used a golf club wedged between my chin and neck to turn on the lights and open some of the windows in the house.
我们还设计了一些巧妙的方法，让我可以自己上厕所，细节我就不多说了，理由大家应该猜得到。你们可以在You Tube看到我们设计的一些方法和装置的影片——别担心，里面没有上厕所的镜头。
I won't go into great detail on it, for obvious reasons, but we also devised some ingenious methods that allowed me to use the rest-room by myself. You can see some of our methods and devices on this YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DxlJWJ_ WfA. Be assured, there is no restroom footage.
我很感激萝拉问了我关于尊严的问题，也感谢年少的我因为害怕依赖别人、成为家人的负担，而有了要更加独立的动机。把这些对一般人来说可能不算什么的动作做得很好，对我的自信心产生了奇迹般的影响。但如果不是把某些原本可能是负面的情绪转变成正面能量，我想我永远不可能逼自己去做那些事。
I am thankful for Laura's little talk with me about my dignity, and I'm thankful for my youthful fear of being dependent and a burden on my family because it motivated me to become more independent. Mastering even routine tasks that others take for granted did wonders for my self-confidence, but I might never have pushed myself to do it if not for some potentially negative emotions that I turned into positive energy.
你同样也可以汲取因为害怕失败、害怕被拒绝而产生的能量，并运用这股能量为正面行动提供动力，让你更接近自己的梦想。
You can do the same. Tap the energy generated by your fears of failure or rejection or similar fears, and use it to power positive action that puts you closer to your dream.
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