人生不设限·谁会想要一个没有变化的人生

CHANGE U.

当我们经历转变时，有时不一定会意识到它对我们的冲击。被迫离开自己的舒适区，通常会产生压力、疑虑，甚至忧郁，无论那个转变有多轻松、容易。你或许了解你人生的目的，深怀盼望，信心坚定，而且具备强烈的自我价值感，有正面的态度和面对恐惧的勇气，以及从失败中东山再起的能耐，但如果遇到生命中不可避免的变化，你就崩溃了，那你的人生永远无法前进。

Sometimes when we go through transitions, we aren't aware of the impact they have on us. Stress, doubt, and even depression commonly result from being moved or thrown out of your comfort zone, however easy the transition is. You may have a strong sense of purpose, high hopes, strong faith, a powerful sense of self-worth, a positive attitude, the courage to face your fears, and the ability to bounce back from failures. But if you fall apart when faced with the inevitable changes that life brings, you will never move forward.

人常常抗拒改变，不过说真的，谁会想要过一个没有变化的人生?某些最棒的体验、成长与收获，往往来自改变——搬到另一个城市、换工作、上不同的课程，或者进入一段比较美好的关系等等。

We often resist change, but really, who would want a life without it? Some of our greatest experiences, growth, and rewards come to us as the result of moving to a new place, switching jobs, following a different course of study, or moving into a better relationship.

人生是一段从儿童期进入青春期、成年期，再进入老年期的发展过程，不改变根本不可能，而且那样也太乏味了吧。有时必须有耐心，因为我们无法一直控制、影响改变，甚至想要的变化也可能不会在我们期待的时刻出现。

Our lives are a progression from childhood through adolescence and adulthood into our senior years. To not change would be impossible and deadly dull. Sometimes we have to be patient. We can't always control or even influence change, and the changes that we want may not happen when we want them to.

有两种主要类型的改变可能成为我们生命中的挑战，甚至让日常生活陷于混乱。第一种是外来的，第二种是内在的。我们无法控制第一种改变，但我们可以，也应该掌控第二种。

There are two major types of change that tend to challenge us and disrupt our day-to-day lives. The first happens to us. The second happens within us. We can't control the first, but we can and should control the second.

对爸爸、妈妈决定搬到美国的事，就跟我天生没手没脚的状况一样，我都没什么发言权，这些不是我能决定的。然而我有能力决定如何面对迁居美国这个变动，就好像我面对自己的身体障碍一样。我接受了这件事，并决定竭尽全力。

I had no say in my parents' decision to move to the United States, any more than I did about being born without arms or legs. They were beyond my influence. But just as with my disability, I had the power to determine how I would deal with the move to the United States. I came to accept it and to dedicate myself to making the best of it.

你也有同样的能力去处理那些你不想要或没有预期到的改变。快速且无法预料的变化，例如失业、生病、发生意外或挚爱的人过世，常常让我们措手不及，所以你一开始或许没有意识到改变生命的重大事件正在进行。在掌控你不想要或突然发生的变化时，第一步就是保持警觉，迅速认知到你即将进入一个新阶段——无论是好是坏。光是觉察到变化就可以减轻压力。然后，心里头要想着：“好，这是全新的状况，可能有些奇怪，但我必须保持冷静，不要惊慌，要有耐心，我知道最后一切都会很好。”

You have that same ability to deal with unwanted or unexpected changes in your life. Often you can be blindsided by rapid and unexpected shifts in your circumstances—a loved one dies, a job is lost, an illness strikes, an accident occurs—so that you may not recognize at first that a major life-changing event is under way. Your first step in mastering an unwanted or sudden alteration is to be alert to them and quick to recognize that you are about to enter a new phase, for better or worse. Just being aware of that reduces the stress. Keep in mind thoughts like Okay, this is all new. It will seem a bit strange. I will need to stay calm, not panic, and be patient. I know it will all work out for the best.

当我们移居美国时，我有一大堆时间去思索生活有哪些方面正在发生变化，然而某些时刻，我还是会觉得承受不住，思想混乱无序。有时，我真想大叫：“我要回去过真正的生活!”

When we moved to the United States, I had plenty of time to think about all the ways our lives were changing, yet at some moments I felt overwhelmed and disoriented. Sometimes I felt like screaming, "I just want to go back home to my real life!"

你可能也会有这样的时刻。现在回头看，我发现还真有趣，因为那时我很想回澳大利亚，但现在的我却非常喜欢住在加州。希望有一天你也能像我一样笑看人生种种。要知道，经历生命中的重大转变时，觉得挫折和愤怒是很自然的，所以给自己一些时间调整吧，让自己对一些意料之外的颠簸变动作好准备，是很有帮助的。就像搬到一个新城市，你总得给自己时间去找到生活之道，学习适应当地的风土人情，让自己融入。

Sorry to say, mate, but you will probably have those moments too. I look back on mine now and see the humor in them, especially since now I love living in California. Hopefully you'll be able to laugh at yourself one day just as I did. You should understand that frustrations and anger are natural emotions when going through a major transition. Give yourself some slack and time to adjust. It helps to prepare yourself for unexpected jolts now and then. It's like moving to a new city: you have to give yourself time to find your way, get acclimated, and discover where you fit in.