人生不设限·第十一章 我的“可笑法则”

我们在印尼的“五都演讲之旅”正进行到一半，按照计划，我将在9天内进行35场演讲。我应该已经累得像条狗才对，不过在这种疯狂忙碌的行程中，有时我会加速前进、停不下来。那时我们正要前往爪哇，从雅加达飞往三宝垄。登机时，我突然觉得自己精力旺盛。

We were halfway through a five-city tour of Indonesia where I was speaking thirty-five times in nine days. I should have been dog tired. Sometimes on these manically busy stretches I rev up and can't settle down. We were headed to Java, and just as we were boarding the plane from Jakarta to Semarang, a rush of energy swept over me.

那次共有五个人跟我一起旅行，包括我的看护宝汉，他是个很爱玩闹的大块头。空中小姐对他印象应该是很深刻的，因为我们登机时一直互相取笑。由于我必须从轮椅上下来，再经由通道走到我的座位，所以大家都会让我们先上飞机。当我沿着机舱里的通道往前走时，宝汉跟在我后头，我突然有股冲动，想要尝试一件我想了很久的疯狂事。

Five people were traveling with me, including my caregiver Vaughan, who is a big, strong, fun-loving guy. The female flight attendants were quite impressed with him as we boarded the plane, and we were teasing back and forth. They let us on first because I have to get out of my wheelchair and walk through the plane to my seat. As I headed down the aisle of the plane with Vaughan behind me, I suddenly had this urge to try something crazy that I'd thought about doing for a while.

“快，宝汉，趁着别人还没上飞机，把我举起来，看看能不能把我塞进行李柜里头。”我说。

"Vaughan, quick, before anyone else comes aboard—lift me up and see if I fit in the overhead baggage compartment!"

我们常常开玩笑说要这样做。几天前，我叫宝汉把我放进机场出境区的一个金属架子里，这个架子是用来检查旅客的行李能不能塞进机舱的行李柜。结果我一下子就被塞进去了，所以他们开始叫我“手提行李小孩”。

We'd often joked about doing this. A few days earlier I'd had Vaughan place me inside the metal frame at the departure for seeing if your luggage will fit in the overhead compartment. I easily fit, so they started calling me "the Carry-on Kid."

机舱座位上方的行李柜相当高，我不确定有人可以把我34公斤左右的身体举到那里，但宝汉可就没问题了。他把我举起来之后，轻轻放进我座位上方的行李柜，仿佛我成了“Vuitton”[28]，而不是“Vujicic”[29]。

The overhead compartment was quite high, and I wasn't sure anyone could lift my seventy-four pounds up there, but Vaughan had no trouble. He hoisted me up and gently placed me on my side in the compartment as if I were a Vuitton instead of a Vujicic.

“好，现在关上行李柜的门，然后等着其他乘客登机吧。”我说。

"Okay, now close the door," I said, "and let's wait for the other passengers to come on board."

宝汉塞了个枕头到我的头下面，然后把门带上，让我栖身在座位上方的柜子里。空服员看到我们搞的鬼，爆笑出来。我们全都像小孩子一样窃笑着，实在不知道等一下要怎样演下去。其他乘客鱼贯上了飞机，浑然不知他们头上有个偷渡客。

Vaughan tucked a pillow under my head and snapped the door shut, leaving me perched above the seats. The flight attendants saw what we were up to and cracked up with laughter. We were all snickering like schoolkids, so I wasn't sure we would pull off this prank. But the other passengers came up the ramp, unaware of the stowaway in the overhead.

当一位老先生来到我的行李柜这里要放行李时，我的工作人员和空服员简直控制不住自己，快要笑出来了。他打开行李柜的门……然后跳了起来，差点撞破机舱的天花板。

My crew and the flight attendants could hardly contain themselves when an older gentleman came down the aisle and reached up to put his bag in my compartment. He opened the door—and nearly jumped through the roof of the airplane.

我探出头来。“先生，你好像没有敲门哦!”我说。

I popped my head out. "Sir, I don't believe you even knocked!"

幸好那位老先生脾气很好，跟着我们一起捧腹大笑。接下来，我就在这头顶上的栖身之地摆姿势，跟他及其他乘客和空服员合拍了好几百张照片。当然，宝汉一直威胁我说要把我一直留在那上头，还警告我“飞行期间有些东西可能会被调包哦”。

Luckily, he was a good-natured bloke, and we all had a nice belly laugh. Then while still perched in the overhead, I had to pose for a couple hundred pictures with him, other passengers, and the flight attendants. Of course Vaughan kept threatening to leave me up there, warning that "some items may shift in flight."