求人办事该怎么说话

07 求人办事该怎么说话

从小父母教给我们的“请”和“谢谢”到了职场竟有大用处。灵活运用这两句话，办事就会顺利很多。

I know a woman who can get people to do whatever she wants.She can make busy executives give her their evenings, their thoughts and their money.On various occasions she has persuaded me to do things for her, just as she has enlisted thousands of others.

我认识一位女士，她总能够让人们按她的意思办事。她能让忙碌的高管们为她抽出夜晚的时间，贡献他们的想法，并且甘愿掏腰包。她曾在各种场合说服我为她做事，就如她曾经说服无数人为她出力一样。

I ran into her the other day and asked what her secret was.“It is not hard,” she said.“I just say please and thank you.”

有一天遇到她，我问她有何秘诀。“这种事不难，”她说，“我只是说了请和谢谢。”

Actually it is not quite as simple as that.Most people know how to say please and thank you—or think they do.Almost everyone was taught that before they went to primary school.But hardly anyone has been taught how to do it properly.

其实这事儿没那么简单。大多数人都知道怎么说请和谢谢——或者觉得他们知道。几乎每个人在上小学之前都被教导要说请和谢谢。但几乎没人被教导过怎么正确地说请和谢谢。

Consider the following perfectly polite email I received recently from a man I know slightly.It began: “This year we are partnering with XXX to launch the second annual YYY conference.I know you are busy but we would love you to host a session on women in business on the Saturday.”It then went on at length about the theme of the year and offered a link to a video of the previous year's event.“Do let me know if that is feasible,”it ended.

看看一位不太熟的男士最近给我发来的一封非常礼貌的邮件吧。邮件是这样开头的：“今年我们将与XXX合作举办第二届年度YYY会议。我知道您很忙，但我们希望您能在周六前来主持一个商业女性会议。”邮件接下来详尽介绍了本年度会议的主题，并且提供了一个上一年会议的视频链接。“如果可以的话请务必通知我，”邮件结尾写道。

It was not feasible.Why would I give up a Saturday on the basis of watching a clip of a similar conference a year earlier?

这不可以。就看一段上一年类似会议的视频，我凭什么要放弃一个周六？

The length of the email made me feel restive and inclined to hit the delete button.To be reminded that I am busy merely provided an excuse to decline.

这封邮件的冗长让我感到烦躁，忍不住想点“删除”。被他提醒我很忙，只不过为我提供了一个拒绝的借口。

Now consider this message from my other acquaintance.Its subject line read: “If only you would……” and the email continued “……join our panel on xxx.We have a lot of clever but worthy people talking, and we need your genius to liven it up.Please say yes.”

现在再看看我认识的另一个人发来的邮件。邮件主题是：“要是你能来就好了……”，正文中写道 “……加入我们有关XXX的讨论小组吧。有很多聪明和值得尊敬的人参加我们的讨论，我们需要您的天才让讨论生动起来。请答应我们吧。”

What this does is cut to the chase—and the chase is flattery.The only truly effective way of saying please is to butter people up.There is no danger of ever laying it on too thick.There is no level at which flattery stops working, according to a study by Jennifer Chatman of the University of California, Berkeley.

这就叫做直奔主题——而主题就是奉承。唯一真正有效地说“请”的方法就是奉承。不存在奉承太过的危险。根据加州大学伯克利分校(University of California, Berkeley)的詹尼弗·查特曼(Jennifer Chatman)进行的研究，任何程度的奉承都不会失效。

In addition to being flattering, the perfect please has to make you feel not only wanted, but also needed.I read the email and said yes at once.I knew how manipulative it was, but I could not help myself.

除了奉承，完美的“请”不仅让你感觉人们希望你去，还让你感觉他们需要你去。我阅读了这封邮件，立刻就答应了。我知道这封邮件是在操纵人心，但我就是忍不住。

Getting thank you right is just as easy, though just as uncommon.Consider the following failed attempt that landed in my inbox recently: “Thank you for talking at our function last week and for giving up your time.The feedback was excellent and we hope you enjoyed it.”

正确地说“谢谢”同样容易，然而也同样不常见。看看最近我收到的一封失败的感谢邮件吧：“感谢您上周抽出时间在我们的活动上发言。反响非常好，我们希望您度过了愉快的时光。”

This was polite and professional.Yet it quite failed to do its job.For a start it was miles too slow—an emailed thank you should arrive within hours, not the following week.

这很礼貌和专业。然而却没能达到目的。首先这封邮件来的太慢了——感谢邮件应该在几小时内送达，而不是等到下个星期。

Equally, to be thanked for your time is singularly ungratifying.Time takes no skill to give.To say the feedback was excellent was too vague to be convincing.And rather than ask if I had enjoyed it, it would have been better to attest how much they had enjoyed having me.

同样的，因为抽出时间而被感谢让人非常不快。抽出时间并不需要任何技能。说反响很好太模糊，无法让人信服。而且，与其问我是否度过了愉快的时光，还不如说我的参加让他们多么愉快呢。

In rejecting this message, I felt the spirit of my mother.She was a fiend with the thank-you letter.

不认同这样的感谢的我想到了我母亲，她是个感谢信狂。

Every year on December 27 she sat us children down and made us write letters to everyone who had given us anything for Christmas.We had to specify what the present was, claim to be delighted with it, and (this was hardest) we had to say why.

每年12月27日，她会让我们这些孩子们坐下来，给每一个在圣诞节送了我们东西的人写信。我们必须具体描述那件礼物是什么，声称我们很高兴收到它，而且还要说出原因（这部分是最难的）。

When we were done with thanking, we had to keep writing until half way down the second page before signing off.Three of my mother's four principles apply to the thank-you email.You thank specifically for the thing.You say why you liked it—and you must thank promptly.The only difference for me now is that I no longer have to rattle on for a page and a half.Indeed, the shorter the better.

在感谢完以后，我们必须继续写到第二页的中间才能署上我们的名字。我母亲的4条感谢信原则中有3条适用于感谢邮件。你要写明具体感谢的事情；你要说出原因；你还必须立刻感谢。对我而言唯一的区别是我不再需要喋喋不休地写满一页半。事实上，越短越好。

And this is exactly what my persuasive acquaintance did.“Extraoooordinary”, said the subject line of the thank-you email that was waiting in my inbox when I awoke the next day.“Thank you for bringing the evening to life and for scorching wit and sense.You are our own Tina Fey.”

我的那位特别会说服人的熟人就是这么做的。我第二天醒来的时候，一封标题为“太棒了”的邮件已经发到我的收件箱了。“感谢你让这个夜晚生动起来，给我们带来绝妙的才思和智慧。你就是我们的蒂娜·费（Tina Fey，译注：美国剧作家，喜剧演员，演员和制片人）。”

Actually, I had performed indifferently.I knew that—and so did she.We both understood the game she was playing.But no matter.The next time she asks me to do something, I will comply.

事实上，我表现一般。我知道——她也知道。我们都明白她玩的这套把戏。但是无所谓。下次她请求我做什么的时候，我还是会照做。

词汇总结

enlist [ɪn'lɪst; en-]

v.支持；从军；应募；赞助；谋取…的赞助或帮助

On various occasions she has persuaded me to do things for her, just as she has enlisted thousands of others.

她曾在各种场合说服我为她做事，就如她曾经说服无数人为她出力一样。

restive ['restɪv]

adj.倔强的；难驾御的；不安宁的

incline to

倾向于…；向…倾斜

The length of the email made me feel restive and inclined to hit the delete button.To be reminded that I am busy merely provided an excuse to decline.

这封邮件的冗长让我感到烦躁，忍不住想点“删除”。

butter up

对…说好话；恭维，阿谀奉承

The only truly effective way of saying please is to butter people up.

唯一真正有效地说“请”的方法就是奉承。不存在奉承太过的危险。

fiend [fiːnd]

n.魔鬼；能手；成癖者

She was a fiend with the thank-you letter.

她是个感谢信狂。

scorching ['skɔːtʃɪŋ]

adj.灼热的；激烈的

Thank you for bringing the evening to life and for scorching wit and sense.

感谢你让这个夜晚生动起来，给我们带来绝妙的才思和智慧。