双语·面纱 第六十九章

69

Waddington walked with Kitty up the hill and they turned aside for a moment to look at Walter's grave; at the memorial arch he said good-bye to her, and looking at it for the last time she felt that she could reply to the enigmatic irony of its appearance with an equal irony of her own. She stepped into her chair.

One day passed after the other. The sights of the wayside served as a background to her thoughts. She saw them as it were in duplicate, rounded as though in a stereoscope, with an added significance because to everything she saw was added the recollection of what she had seen when but a few short weeks before she had taken the same journey in the contrary direction. The coolies with their loads straggled disorderly, two or three together, and then a hundred yards behind one by himself, and then two or three more; the soldiers of the escort shuffled along with a clumsy walk that covered five and twenty miles a day; the amah was carried by two bearers and Kitty, not because she was heavier, but for face sake, by four. Now and then they met a string of coolies lolloping by in line with their heavy burdens, now and then a Chinese official in a sedan who looked at the white woman with inquisitive eyes; now they came across peasants in faded blue and huge hats on their way to market and now a woman, old or young, tottering along on her bound feet. They passed up and down little hills laid out with trim rice-fields and farm-houses nestling cozily in a grove of bamboos; they passed through ragged villages and populous cities walled like the cities in a missal. The sun of the early autumn was pleasant, and if at daybreak, when the shimmering dawn lent the neat fields the enchantment of a fairy tale, it was cold, the warmth later was very grateful. Kitty was filled by it with a sense of beatitude which she made no effort to resist.

The vivid scenes with their elegant color, their unexpected distinction, and their strangeness, were like an arras before which, like mysterious, shadowy shapes, played the phantoms of Kitty's fancy. They seemed wholly unreal. Mei-tan-fu with its crenellated walls was like the painted canvas placed on the stage in an old play to represent a city. The nuns, Waddington, and the Manchu woman who loved him, were fantastic characters in a masque; and the rest, the people sidling along the tortuous streets and those who died, were nameless supers. Of course it had, they all had, a significance of some sort, but what was it? It was as though they performed a ritual dance, elaborate and ancient, and you knew that those complicated measures had a meaning which it was important for you to know; and yet you could see no clue, no clue.

It seemed incredible to Kitty (an old woman was passing along the causeway, in blue, and the blue in the sunshine was like lapis lazuli; her face with its thousand little wrinkles was like a mask of old ivory; and she leaned, as she walked on her tiny feet, on a long black staff) it seemed incredible to Kitty that she and Walter had taken part in that strange and unreal dance. They had played important parts too. She might easily have lost her life: he had. Was it a joke? Perhaps it was nothing but a dream from which she would suddenly awake with a sigh of relief. It seemed to have taken place a long time ago and in a far-off place. It was singular how shadowy the persons of that play seemed against the sunny background of real life. And now it seemed to Kitty like a story that she was reading; it was a little startling that it seemed to concern her so little. She found already that she could not recall with distinctness Waddington's face which had been so familiar to her.

This evening they should reach the city on the Western River from which she was to take the steamer. Thence it was but a night's run to Hong Kong.

第六十九章

威廷顿和凯蒂往山上走着，途中拐了个弯又去看了看沃尔特的墓。在牌坊那儿，威廷顿跟她告了别。最后一次看着牌坊，她觉得自己境遇之中的讽刺之意丝毫不逊于这谜一样的拱门。她迈上了轿椅。

一天天过去了，沿途的景色可以作为她万千思绪的背景，她看见它们好像在一个立体镜中，丰满，而且就像复制品一样，但是，有了附加的意义，因为她看见的每件东西都让她反思。几周之前，她曾走过相同的路线，不过方向相反。苦力抬着她的东西跌跌撞撞地走着。两三个人一伙，一百码远的后面，又有一个人在走着，再后面又跟着两三个。护送的士兵也在跌跌撞撞地走着，一天走个五到二十英里左右，女仆由两个轿夫抬着，而凯蒂因为面子的关系，即使不见得更重，也由四个轿夫抬着。时不时地他们会遇见一长队的苦力，排成一行背负着重物，偶尔也能碰到坐着轿子的中国官员，他们用好奇的目光打量着这个白人妇女。一会儿他们穿行在一群身着褪了色的蓝布衣，头戴大草帽，正赶往集市的农民当中，一会儿他们又会遇见一个年老或年轻的妇女，裹着小脚正蹒跚而行。他们上上下下路过一些小山丘，山的中间是整齐的稻田，还有被一丛丛竹子包围的农舍，恬静惬意。他们经过破破烂烂的农村和人口稠密的城市，城市的四周是城墙，就像一本弥撒书中所描述的那些城市。早秋的太阳是令人愉快的，在天刚亮的时候，阳光闪烁的黎明给整齐的田野施魔法般蒙上了一层童话般的色彩，但天气还是寒冷，随后的温暖让人心存感激。凯蒂心中充满了幸福感，这种感觉她已久违。

生动的景色，雅致的色彩，时常给人意外，宛如一叠异常华丽的挂毯。而在挂毯上，凯蒂的思绪像神秘而黯淡的影子一样晃来晃去。它们全都是不真实的。湄潭府，带着垛口的城墙，就像舞台上的一张油画布，在一出老戏中代表着一座城市。修女们、威廷顿和爱着他的那位满族妇女，都是一场假面剧中的精彩角色。而其他的人，沿着弯弯曲曲街道侧身而行的人和那些死去的人，都是无名的龙套角色。当然，这部剧以及剧中的每个人，都有某种意义，但是意义是什么？好像他们在表演仪式般的舞蹈，精美而古老，你知道那些复杂的举手投足都有一种意义，你要知道这意义，这点很重要，但是你看不到任何线索，完全没有线索。

对凯蒂来说，似乎是不可思议的（一个老妇人穿着蓝色的衣服，正沿着堤道走着，那蓝色在阳光的照耀下如同天青石般湛蓝，她的脸上有着上千条小皱纹，就像老象牙做成的面具，她佝偻着腰，因为她走路的双脚是缠足的，拄着一根长长的黑色拐杖），不可思议的是她和沃尔特也参加了那场奇怪和不真实的舞蹈，他们也都扮演了重要的角色。她可能很容易就失去生命，他已经失去了生命。这是一场笑话吗？也许什么都不是，只是一场梦。她已经从梦中惊醒，如释重负地叹了口气。这一切似乎发生在很久以前，发生在一个遥远的地方。在阳光明媚的现实之前，这出遥远的戏剧里的角色们该是多么模糊难辨。现在对于凯蒂，它就像她正在阅读的一个故事。似乎涉及她的部分很少，这有点儿令人吃惊。她发现已经无法清晰地记起威廷顿的脸了，这张脸她曾经是那么熟悉。

今天傍晚，他们应该到达西江岸边的城市，从那里她要坐上轮船，然后经过一晚上的航行就能到香港了。