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双语·邦斯舅舅 十四、两只鸽子的寓言成了事实[1]

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2022年05月31日

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XIV

The savory odor of a stew pervaded the whole courtyard, as Pons returned mechanically home. Mme. Cibot was dishing up Schmucke's dinner, which consisted of scraps of boiled beef from a little cook-shop not above doing a little trade of this kind. These morsels were fricasseed in brown butter, with thin slices of onion, until the meat and vegetables had absorbed the gravy and this true porter's dish was browned to the right degree. With that fricassee, prepared with loving care for Cibot and Schmucke, and accompanied by a bottle of beer and a piece of cheese, the old German music-master was quite content. Not King Solomon in all his glory, be sure, could dine better than Schmucke. A dish of boiled beef fricasseed with onions, scraps of saute chicken, or beef and parsley, or venison, or fish served with a sauce of La Cibot's own invention (a sauce with which a mother might unsuspectingly eat her child),—such was Schmucke's ordinary, varying with the quantity and quality of the remnants of food supplied by boulevard restaurants to the cook-shop in the Rue Boucherat. Schmucke took everything that "goot Montame Zipod" gave him, and was content, and so from day to day "goot Montame Zipod" cut down the cost of his dinner, until it could be served for twenty sous.

It won't be long afore I find out what is the matter with him, poor dear, said Mme. Cibot to her husband, "for here is M. Schmucke's dinner all ready for him."

As she spoke she covered the deep earthenware dish with a plate; and, notwithstanding her age, she climbed the stair and reached the door before Schmucke opened it to Pons.

Vat is de matter mit you, mein goot friend? asked the German, scared by the expression of Pons' face.

I will tell you all about it; but I have come home to have dinner with you—

Tinner! tinner! cried Schmucke in ecstasy; "but it is impossible!" the old German added, as he thought of his friend's gastronomical tastes; and at that very moment he caught sight of Mme. Cibot listening to the conversation, as she had a right to do as his lawful housewife. Struck with one of those happy inspirations which only enlighten a friend's heart, he marched up to the portress and drew her out to the stairhead.

Montame Zipod, he said, "der goot Pons is fond of goot dings; shoost go rount to der Catran Pleu und order a dainty liddle tinner, mit anjovies und maggaroni. Ein tinner for Lugullus, in vact."

What is that? inquired La Cibot.

Oh! ah! returned Schmucke, "it is veal a la pourcheoise (bourgeoise, he meant), a nice fisch, ein pottle off Porteaux, und nice dings, der fery best dey haf, like groquettes of rice und shmoked pacon! Bay for it, und say nodings; I vill gif you back de monny to-morrow morning."

Back went Schmucke, radiant and rubbing his hands; but his expression slowly changed to a look of bewildered astonishment as he heard Pons' story of the troubles that had but just now overwhelmed him in a moment. He tried to comfort Pons by giving him a sketch of the world from his own point of view. Paris, in his opinion, was a perpetual hurly-burly, the men and women in it were whirled away by a tempestuous waltz; it was no use expecting anything of the world, which only looked at the outsides of things, "und not at der inderior." For the hundredth time he related how that the only three pupils for whom he had really cared, for whom he was ready to die, the three who had been fond of him, and even allowed him a little pension of nine hundred francs, each contributing three hundred to the amount—his favorite pupils had quite forgotten to come to see him; and so swift was the current of Parisian life which swept them away, that if he called at their houses, he had not succeeded in seeing them once in three years—(it is a fact, however, that Schmucke had always thought fit to call on these great ladies at ten o'clock in the morning!)—still, his pension was paid quarterly through the medium of solicitors.

Und yet, dey are hearts of gold, he concluded. "Dey are my liddle Saint Cecilias, sharming vimmen, Montame de Bordentuere, Montame de Fantenesse, und Montame du Dilet. Gif I see dem at all, it is at die Jambs Elusees, und dey do not see me... yet dey are ver' fond of me, und I might go to dine mit dem, und dey vould be ver' bleased to see me; und I might go to deir country-houses, but I vould much rader be mit mine friend Bons, because I kann see him venefer I like, und efery tay."

Pons took Schmucke's hand and grasped it between his own. All that was passing in his inmost soul was communicated in that tight pressure. And so for awhile the friends sat like two lovers, meeting at last after a long absence.

Tine here, efery tay! broke out Schmucke, inwardly blessing Mme. de Marville for her hardness of heart. "Look here! Ve shall go a prick-a-pracking togeders, und der teufel shall nefer show his tail here."

Ve shall go prick-a-pracking togeders! for the full comprehension of those truly heroic words, it must be confessed that Schmucke's ignorance of bric-a-brac was something of the densest. It required all the strength of his friendship to keep him from doing heedless damage in the sitting-room and study which did duty as a museum for Pons. Schmucke, wholly absorbed in music, a composer for love of his art, took about as much interest in his friend's little trifles as a fish might take in a flower-show at the Luxembourg, supposing that it had received a ticket of admission. A certain awe which he certainly felt for the marvels was simply a reflection of the respect which Pons showed his treasures when he dusted them. To Pons' exclamations of admiration, he was wont to reply with a "Yes, it is ver' bretty," as a mother answers baby-gestures with meaningless baby-talk. Seven times since the friends had lived together, Pons had exchanged a good clock for a better one, till at last he possessed a timepiece in Boule's first and best manner, for Boule had two manners, as Raphael had three. In the first he combined ebony and copper; in the second—contrary to his convictions—he sacrificed to tortoise-shell inlaid work. In spite of Pons' learned dissertations, Schmucke never could see the slightest difference between the magnificent clock in Boule's first manner and its six predecessors; but, for Pons' sake, Schmucke was even more careful among the "chimcracks" than Pons himself. So it should not be surprising that Schmucke's sublime words comforted Pons in his despair; for "Ve shall go prick-a-pracking togeders," meant, being interpreted, "I will put money into bric-a-brac, if you will only dine here."

Dinner is ready, Mme. Cibot announced, with astonishing self-possession.

It is not difficult to imagine Pons' surprise when he saw and relished the dinner due to Schmucke's friendship. Sensations of this kind, that came so rarely in a lifetime, are never the outcome of the constant, close relationship by which friend daily says to friend, "You are a second self to me;" for this, too, becomes a matter of use and wont. It is only by contact with the barbarism of the world without that the happiness of that intimate life is revealed to us as a sudden glad surprise. It is the outer world which renews the bond between friend and friend, lover and lover, all their lives long, wherever two great souls are knit together by friendship or by love. Pons brushed away two big tears, Schmucke himself wiped his eyes; and though nothing was said, the two were closer friends than before. Little friendly nods and glances exchanged across the table were like balm to Pons, soothing the pain caused by the sand dropped in his heart by the President's wife. As for Schmucke, he rubbed his hands till they were sore; for a new idea had occurred to him, one of those great discoveries which cause a German no surprise, unless they sprout up suddenly in a Teuton brain frost-bound by the awe and reverence due to sovereign princes.

Mine goot Bons? began Schmucke.

I can guess what you mean; you would like us both to dine together here, every day—

Gif only I vas rich enof to lif like dis efery tay— began the good German in a melancholy voice. But here Mme. Cibot appeared upon the scene. Pons had given her an order for the theatre from time to time, and stood in consequence almost as high in her esteem and affection as her boarder Schmucke.

Lord love you, said she, "for three francs and wine extra I can give you both such a dinner every day that you will be ready to lick the plates as clean as if they were washed."

It is a fact, Schmucke remarked, "dat die dinners dat Montame Zipod cooks for me are better as de messes dey eat at der royal dable!"

In his eagerness, Schmucke, usually so full of respect for the powers that be, so far forgot himself as to imitate the irreverent newspapers which scoffed at the "fixed-price" dinners of Royalty.

Really? said Pons. "Very well, I will try to-morrow."

And at that promise Schmucke sprang from one end of the table to the other, sweeping off tablecloth, bottles, and dishes as he went, and hugged Pons to his heart. So might gas rush to combine with gas.

Vat happiness! cried he.

Mme. Cibot was quite touched. "Monsieur is going to dine here every day!" she cried proudly.

That excellent woman departed downstairs again in ignorance of the event which had brought about this result, entered her room like Josepha in William Tell, set down the plates and dishes on the table with a bang, and called aloud to her husband:

Cibot! run to the Cafe Turc for two small cups of coffee, and tell the man at the stove that it is for me.

Then she sat down and rested her hands on her massive knees, and gazed out of the window at the opposite wall.

I will go to-night and see what Ma'am Fontaine says, she thought.

Madame Fontaine told fortunes on the cards for all the servants in the quarter of the Marais.

十四、两只鸽子的寓言成了事实[1]

邦斯木偶似的回家,西卜太太刚巧端整好许模克的晚饭。饭菜是整个院子都闻到味儿的一盘所谓红焖牛肉。向一家熟货店买来的零头零尾的白煮牛肉,跟切成小薄片的洋葱放在牛油里尽煎,煎到肉和洋葱把油都吸干了,使看门女人的大菜看上去像炸鱼。西卜太太预备给丈夫和许模克平分的这个菜,加上一瓶啤酒一块乳酪,就能教德国老音乐家心满意足。你们可以相信,便是全盛时期的所罗门王也没有比许模克吃得更好。今天是把白煮牛肉加上洋葱煨一煨,明天是把残余的仔鸡红烧一下,后天是什么冷牛肉和鱼,浇上西卜女人自己发明的一种沙司,连做母亲的也会糊里糊涂给孩子吃的沙司[2],过一天又是什么野味,都得看大街上的菜馆卖给小熟货店的是哪一类东西,有多少数量。这便是许模克的日常菜单;他对于好西卜太太端上来的东西从来没有一句话,总是满意的。而好西卜太太把这个菜单逐渐克减,结果只要一法郎就能对付。

“可怜的好人有什么事,我马上就能知道,”西卜太太对丈夫说,“瞧,许模克先生的夜饭预备好啦。”

西卜太太在陶器菜盘上盖了一只粗瓷碟子,虽然上了年纪,还能在许模克给邦斯开门的时候赶到。

“你怎么啦,好朋友?”德国人看见邦斯面无人色,不由得吓了一跳。

“等会告诉你;现在我来跟你一块儿吃夜饭……”

“怎么!和我一块儿吃?”许模克高兴得叫起来,但又想起了朋友讲究吃喝的脾气,“那怎么行呢?”这时,德国老头发觉西卜太太以管家的资格有名有分地在那儿听着。凭着一个真正的朋友所能有的灵感,他直奔女门房,把她拉到楼梯间:

“西卜太太,邦斯这好人是喜欢吃的;你上蓝钟饭店去叫点儿讲究的菜:什么鳃鱼呀,面条呀!总之要像罗古罗斯吃的一样[3]!”

“什么罗古罗斯?”西卜太太问。

“得啦,你去要一个清烧小牛肉,一条新鲜的鱼,一瓶波尔多,不管什么,只要挑最好的菜就行了:譬如糯米肉饼、熏腊肉等等!你先把账给付了,一句话都别说,明儿我还你钱就是了。”

许模克搓着手,喜滋滋地回进屋子;可是听到朋友一刹那间遇到的伤心事,他脸上慢慢地又恢复了发呆的表情。他尽量安慰邦斯,搬出他那一套对社会的看法:巴黎的生活有如一场无休无歇的暴风雨,男男女女仿佛都给疯狂的华尔兹舞卷了去;我们不应该有求于人,他们都只看表面,“不看内心的。”他说。他又提到讲了上百次的老故事,说有三个女学生,是他生平最喜欢而为之不惜任何牺牲的;她们也对他挺好,还每年各出三百法郎,凑成九百法郎的津贴送他;可是她们哪,这些年来一次也没来看过他,都身不由己地给巴黎生活的狂潮冲走了,甚至最近三年他上门去也没能见到她们。(事实上许模克的拜访那般阔太太,都是上午十点钟去的!)至于津贴,那是由公证人分季支给他的。

“可是她们心真好。对于我,她们简直就是保护音乐的女神。包当杜哀太太,王特奈斯太太,杜·蒂哀太太,个个都是怪可爱的。我看见她们的时候总是在天野大道,她们可看不见我……她们对我多好,我尽可上她们家吃饭,她们一定很欢迎;我也可以上她们的别墅去住,可是我宁愿和我的邦斯在一起,因为我随时可以看到他,天天看到他。”

邦斯抓起许模克的手紧紧握着,等于把心里的话都表白了。两人相对无语,过了好几分钟,像一对久别重逢的情人似的。

“还是每天在家吃饭吧,”许模克这么说着,暗中反而在感谢庭长太太的狠心,“哎!咱们一块儿去玩古董,那么魔鬼也不会上咱们家来捣乱了。”

要懂得“咱们一块儿去玩古董”这句悲壮的话,先得知道许模克对古董一窍不通。他为了爱友心切,才不至于在让给邦斯做美术馆用的客厅和书房里打烂东西。许模克全神贯注在音乐里头,一心一意在那儿替自己作曲,他瞧着朋友的小玩意儿,好似一条鱼被请到卢森堡公园去看莳花展览。他对那些神妙的作品很尊敬,因为邦斯捧着他的宝物掸灰的时候很尊敬。朋友在那里低回赞叹,他就在旁凑上一句:“是呀,多好看!”好似母亲看到一个还不会说话的孩子对她做手势,就拿些没有意义的话做回答。自从两位朋友同住之后,许模克眼看邦斯把时钟换了七次,总是越换越好。换到最后,是布勒雕得最精美的一座,紫檀木上镶着黄铜,有好几个雕刻做装饰,属于布勒第一期的作风[4]。布勒的作风有两期,正如拉斐尔的有三期。第一期,他把黄铜与紫檀融合得恰到好处;第二期,他违反自己的主张,改镶螺钿,为了要打倒发明贝壳嵌花的同业,他在这方面有惊人的表现。邦斯尽量引经据典地解释给许模克听,他始终看不出精美的布勒座钟和其他的多少钟有什么分别。但既然那些古董与邦斯的快乐有关,他就格外地爱护,连邦斯自己也不及他那样无微不至。所以听到许模克“咱们一块儿去玩古董”的话,难怪邦斯的气都平下去了,因为德国人那句话的意思是:“倘使你在家吃饭,我可以拿出钱来陪你玩古董。”

“请两位先生用饭吧。”西卜太太装着俨然的神气进来说。

我们不难想象邦斯瞧着尝着这一顿靠许模克的友情张罗得来的晚饭,是怎样的惊喜交集。这一类的感觉一生中是难得有的,彼此老说着“你就是我,我就是你”那样的深情就没有这感觉,因为时时刻刻的关切使受到的人变得麻木了;直要莫逆之交的真情洋溢,与世态炎凉的残酷有了比较,一个人才会恍然大悟。两颗伟大的心灵,一朝由感情或友情结合之后,全靠外界的刺激把他们的交谊不断地加强。因此邦斯抹掉了两滴眼泪,而许模克也不能不抹着他湿透的眼睛。他们一句话不说,可是更相爱了,他们只点首示意,而安神止痛的表情,使邦斯忘了庭长太太丢在他心中的小石子。许模克拼命搓着手,几乎把表皮都擦破,因为他心血来潮,忽然有了个主意。德国人平时对诸侯们服从惯了,头脑久已迟钝,这一回许模克念头转得这么快,可以说是了不得的奇事。

“我的好邦斯?”许模克开始说。

“我猜着了,你要我每天跟你一块儿吃晚饭……”

“我恨不得有钱,让你天天过这样的生活……”好心的德国人不胜怅惘地回答。西卜太太,因为不时从邦斯手中得到些戏票,素来把他和包饭客人许模克同等看待的,这时提出了下面那样的计划:

“嗨,嗨,不供给酒,只要三法郎,我就能每天做一顿夜饭,包你们把盘子舔得精光,像洗过了似的。”

“对,”许模克接口道,“西卜太太给我做的菜,我吃得比那些吃王家焖肉的人还要好……”

循礼守法的德国人,为了急于要把邦斯留在家里,居然学着小报上的轻薄,对王上吃的定价菜也毁谤起来了。

“真的吗?”邦斯说,“那么我明天试一试!”

一听见朋友许了这个愿,许模克便从桌子这一头扑到那一头,把台布、盘子、水瓶一齐拖着走,他拼命搂着邦斯的劲儿,好像一条火舌蹿向另一条火舌。

“哎啊,我多快活!”他叫着。

西卜太太也受了感动,很得意地说:“好哇,先生天天在这儿吃饭了!”

她的美梦实现了,可是她并不知道促成美梦的内幕。她奔下楼去,走进门房,好似玉才华在《威廉·退尔》中出场时的神气[5];她把盘子碟子往旁边一扔,叫道:

“西卜,赶快上土耳其咖啡馆要两小杯咖啡,关照炉子上说是我要的!”

然后她坐下来,双手按着肥大的膝盖,从窗里望着对面的墙,自言自语地说:

“今晚上我得找封丹太太去起个课!……”

封丹太太是替玛莱区所有的厨娘、女仆、男当差、看门的……起课卜卦的。

注解:

[1] 《拉·封丹寓言》第九卷第二篇,题名《两只鸽子》,描写一对友情深厚的鸽子,一只喜欢家居,一只喜欢旅行。旅行鸽不顾居家鸽苦劝,仍欲出外游历。途中先遇大风雨,狼狈不堪,继而堕入鸟网,险被擒获;又遭鹰隼追迫,几乎丧命;终被儿童弹丸击中,折足丧翼,幸得回巢,与旧侣团聚,共庆更生。

[2] 沙司为西菜中浇在鱼或肉类上面的酱汁,大概可分黑白两种,以牛肉汤或鸡汤为底,调以面粉,另加作料,做法各有巧妙不同。欧洲人对沙司之重视不亚于正菜本身。

[3] 罗古罗斯为公元前二世纪时罗马帝国的名将,以饮食奢豪有名于世。

[4] 布勒(1642—1732)为法国有名的紫檀木雕刻家,在装饰美术上极有贡献。

[5] 玉才华系巴尔扎克另一小说《贝姨》中的角色,为有名的女歌唱家。《威廉·退尔》为罗西尼的歌剧。

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