双语·《刀锋》 第二章 四

CHAPTER TWO 4
第二章 四

Elliott was of opinion that breakfast was a meal that you should share only with total strangers, and then only if there was no help for it, so Mrs. Bradley, somewhat against her will, and Isabel, far from displeased, were obliged to have theirs in their bedrooms.But Isabel, when she awoke, sometimes told Antoinette the grand maid Elliott had engaged for them, to take her café au lait into her mother’s room so that she could talk to her while she had it.In the busy life she led it was the only moment of the day in which she could be alone with her.One such morning, when they had been in Paris nearly a month, after Isabel had done narrating the events of the previous night, most of which she and Larry had spent going the rounds of the night clubs with a party of friends, Mrs.Bradley let fall the question she had had in mind to ask ever since their arrival.
艾略特认为，只有接待生客才陪着吃早饭，那也是万不得已的事情。布雷德利夫人和伊莎贝尔只好在各自的寝室用早点了，布雷德利夫人很不情愿，伊莎贝尔却丝毫不在意。不过，有时候伊莎贝尔醒来后，会叫艾略特给她们雇的那个高贵女佣安托瓦内特把她的一份咖啡牛奶送到她母亲的寝室，母女俩好在吃早点时聊聊天。她整天忙得滴溜溜转，一天当中只有这点时间能陪母亲坐坐。她们来巴黎快一个月后的一个这样的早晨，伊莎贝尔先把昨天晚上做的事情叙述了一遍，无非是说她和拉里随一群朋友逛夜总会什么的；接着，布雷德利夫人提出了一个问题——这个问题自打来巴黎后一直压在她的心头。

“When is he coming back to Chicago?”
“他打算什么时候回芝加哥？”

“I don't know. He hasn't spoken of it.”
“不知道。他提都没提过。”

“Haven't you asked him?”
“你没有问过吗？”

“No.”
“没有。”

“Are you scared to?”
“你是不是怕问？”

“No, of course not.”
“不是，当然不是。”

Mrs. Bradley, lying on a chaise longue, in a modish dressing-gown that Elliott had insisted on giving her, was polishing her nails.
布雷德利夫人斜倚在长靠椅上修指甲，身上穿一件正流行的晨衣——一件拉里执意要送给她的礼物。

“What do you talk about all the time when you're alone?”
“你俩在一起都说些什么？”

“We don't talk all the time. It's nice to be together.You know, Larry was always rather silent.When we talk I think I do most of the talking.”
“我们一般不说话。两人在一起坐坐就很好了。你知道拉里总是沉默寡言的。交谈起来，差不多都是我一人在讲话。”

“What has he been doing with himself?”
“他平时干些什么？”

“I don't really know. I don't think anything very much.I suppose he's been having a good time.”
“我也弄不清楚，只觉得没有干什么大事。我想他过得挺开心的。”

“And where is he living?”
“他住在哪里？”

“I don't know that either.”
“这我也不知道。”

“He seems very reticent, doesn't he?”
“他好像城府很深呀，对不对？”

Isabel lit a cigarette and, as she blew a cloud of smoke from her nostrils, looked coolly at her mother.
伊莎贝尔点起一支香烟，从鼻孔里喷出一缕烟，静静地望着自己的母亲。

“What exactly do you mean by that, Mamma?”
“你这话究竟是什么意思，妈妈？”

“Your uncle Elliott thinks he has an apartment and is living there with a woman.”
“你舅舅认为他租了一套公寓，跟一个女人同居。”

Isabel burst out laughing.
伊莎贝尔不听则已，一听笑破了肚皮。

“You don't believe that, do you?”
“这话你相信吗，妈妈？”

“No. I honestly don't.”Mrs.Bradley looked reflectively at her nails.“Don't you ever talk to him about Chicago?”
“不相信，老实说我不相信。”布雷德利夫人望着自己的指甲，沉吟良久，“你可曾跟他谈过回芝加哥的事？”

“Yes, a lot.”
“谈过，谈过不知多少次了。”

“Hasn't he given any sort of indication that he intends to come back?”
“他是否有所表示，说他打算回去呢？”

“I can't say he has.”
“恐怕没有什么表示。”

“He will have been gone two years next October.”
“十月份他离开家乡就满两年了。”

“I know.”
“这我知道。”

“Well, it's your business, dear, and you must do what you think right. But things don't get any easier by putting them off.”She glanced at her daughter, but Isabel would not meet her eyes.Mrs.Bradley gave her an affectionate smile.“If you don't want to be late for lunch you'd better go and have your bath.”
“这是你的事情，亲爱的，你觉得该怎么做就怎么做吧。不过，久拖不决也不是个事呀。”布雷德利夫人盯着女儿，但伊莎贝尔将目光躲开了。布雷德利夫人疼爱地冲她一笑。“去吧，去洗个澡准备准备，吃午饭可别迟了。”

“I'm lunching with Larry. We're going to some place in the Latin Quarter.”
“我要跟拉里去吃午饭。在拉丁区的一个什么地方。”

“Enjoy yourself.”
“好好玩去吧。”

An hour later Larry came to fetch her. They took a cab to the Pont St.Michel and sauntered up the crowded boulevard till they came to a café they liked the look of.They sat down on the terrace and ordered a couple of Dubonnets.Then they took another cab and went to a restaurant.Isabel had a healthy appetite and she enjoyed the good things Larry ordered for her.She enjoyed looking at the people sitting cheek by jowl with them, for the place was packed, and it made her laugh to see the intense pleasure they so obviously took in their food；but she enjoyed above all sitting at a tiny table alone with Larry.She loved the amusement in his eyes while she chattered away gaily.It was enchanting to feel so much at home with him.But at the back of her mind was a vague disquiet, for though he seemed very much at home too, she felt it was not so much with her as with the surroundings.She had been faintly disturbed by what her mother had said, and though seeming to prattle so guilelessly she observed his every expression.He was not quite the same as when he had left Chicago, but she couldn’t tell in what the difference lay.He looked exactly as she remembered him, as young, as frank, but his expression was changed.It was not that he was more serious, his face in repose had always been serious, it had a calmness that was new to her；it was as though he had settled something with himself and were at ease in a way he had never been before.
一小时后，拉里来接她。二人叫了辆出租车去了圣米歇尔桥，然后沿着人头攒动的林荫大道转悠，最后相中了一家咖啡店。他们在这家店的露台上落座，叫了两杯杜本内开胃酒。出了咖啡店，他们又叫车去了一家饭馆。伊莎贝尔胃口很好，拉里点的那些可口的饭菜她都吃得津津有味。饭馆里顾客盈门，吃客们你挨着我、我靠着你坐在一起进餐，这场面叫伊莎贝尔看了挺开心的。瞧见人们狼吞虎咽的吃相，她会禁不住笑出声来。不过，她最为开心的是能够和拉里单独在一起，卿卿我我地坐在一张小桌旁。她兴高采烈地说这说那，拉里听着眼里闪出欢快的光芒，这让她看在眼中喜在心头。跟拉里无拘无束坐在一起，让她感到陶然若醉。但她的内心深处隐隐约约有一丝不安——拉里虽然也无拘无束的，她却觉得真正给他以轻松感的与其说是她，倒不如说是周围的环境。母亲早上说的话对她有所触动。于是，她叽叽喳喳说着话，似乎一点心思也没有，实际却在观察他的每一细小表情。拉里和最初离开芝加哥时相比略有不同，但她说不清他究竟发生了什么变化。他看上去跟以前别无二致，还是那么年轻，那么坦率，只是神情却有了变化。这种神情并不是比以前更严肃（他脸上总有一副严肃的表情），而是多了一份从前所没有的安宁。他好像解决了一道人生的难题，如今寻找到了心灵的安宁——这是前所未有的现象。

When they had finished lunch he suggested that they should take a stroll through the Luxembourg.
吃完饭，拉里建议去逛卢森堡博物馆。

“No, I don't want to go and look at pictures.”
“不，我不想去看画。”

“All right then, let's go and sit in the gardens.”
“好吧，那就去花园里坐坐。”

“No, I don't want to do that either. I want to go and see where you live.”
“不，我也不想去那里。我要去看看你住的地方。”

“There's nothing to see. I live in a scrubby little room in a hotel.”
“没什么可看的，我住在旅馆的一个很寒酸的斗室里。”

“Uncle Elliott says you've got an apartment and are living in sin with an artist's model.”
“艾略特舅舅说你有一套公寓，跟一个画家的模特儿同居。”

“Come on then and see for yourself，”he laughed.“It's only a step from here. We can walk.”
“无稽之谈。那你亲眼去看看好啦。”他大笑道，“从这里去只有几步路。咱们可以步行过去。”

He took her through narrow, tortuous streets, dingy notwithstanding the streak of blue sky that showed between the high houses, and after a while stopped at a small hotel with a pretentious fa?ade.
他带着她穿过几条狭窄的、弯弯曲曲的街道——这些街道夹在高房子中间，可以望见一抹青天，显得肮脏暗淡。走了一会儿，二人来到了一家门面寒碜的小旅馆。

“Here we are.”
“咱们到了。”

Isabel followed him into a narrow hall, on one side of which was a desk and behind it a man in shirt-sleeves, with a waistcoat in thin black and yellow stripes and a dirty apron, reading a paper. Larry asked for his key, and the man handed it to him from the rack immediately behind him.He gave Isabel an inquisitive glance that turned into a knowing smirk.It was clear that he thought she was going to Larry's room for no honest purpose.
伊莎贝尔随着他走进一间狭窄的厅堂，厅堂的一侧有一张桌子，桌旁坐着个男子，穿一件衬衣和一个细黑黄条子相间的背心，系一条围裙，正在那里看报。拉里问他要房间的钥匙，那人从身后格子架里把钥匙取出交给了他，同时好奇地瞥了伊莎贝尔一眼，又转为会意的傻笑。显然他认为伊莎贝尔去拉里的房间不是干规矩事情的。

They climbed up two flights of stairs, on which was a threadbare red carpet, and Larry unlocked his door. Isabel entered a smallish room with two windows.They looked out on the grey apartment house opposite, on the ground floor of which was a stationer's shop.There was a single bed in the room, with a night table beside it, a heavy wardrobe with a large mirror, an upholstered but straight-backed armchair, and a table between the windows on which were a typewriter, papers, and a number of books.The chimney-piece was piled with paper-bound volumes.
他们爬上两段楼梯，楼梯上铺着破旧的红地毯。拉里用钥匙打开房间的门。伊莎贝尔走进一间有两扇窗户的小房间。从窗口望去，街对面是一幢灰颜色的公寓楼，公寓楼的底层开着一家文具店。小房间里有一张单人床，配一个床头柜，另外还有一口镶着大镜子的笨重的衣柜，一把装了垫子但是椅背笔直的扶手椅，两扇窗子之间放一张桌子，桌子上有架打字机、一些纸张和几本书。壁炉板上堆放了些平装书。

“You sit in the armchair. It's not very comfortable, but it's the best I can offer.”
“你坐扶手椅吧，虽然不太舒服，却是这里最好的了。”

He drew up another chair and sat down.
他另外拉过来一把椅子，自己也坐下了。

“Is this where you live?”asked Isabel.
“你就住在这地方？”伊莎贝尔问。

He chuckled at the look on her face.
他看见她脸上的神情，扑哧一声笑了。

“It is. I've been here ever since I came to Paris.”
“可不是么。来巴黎后，我一直住在这里。”

“But why?”
“为什么？”

“It's convenient. It's near the Bibliothèque Nationale and the Sorbonne.”He pointed to a door she had not noticed.“It’s got a bathroom.I can get breakfast here and I generally dine at that restaurant where we had lunch.”
“图个方便呗。这儿靠近国家图书馆和巴黎大学。”他指指她没有注意到的一扇门说，“这里有洗澡的地方，有早餐吃。晚饭一般就在咱们吃午饭的那家饭馆解决。”

“It's awfully sordid.”
“这地方太寒酸了。”

“Oh no, it's all right. It's all I want.”
“哦，还好吧，有这地方住就不错了。”

“But what sort of people live here?”
“这儿住的都是些什么人呢？”

“Oh, I don't know. Up in the attics a few students.Two or three old bachelors in government offices and a retired actress at the Odéon；the only other room with a bath is occupied by a kept woman whose gentleman friend comes to see her every other Thursday；I suppose a few transients.It’s a very quiet and respectable place.”
“哦，不太清楚。上面阁楼里住了几个学生。其他的还有两三个在政府机关里做事的老光棍和一个奥德昂大剧院的退休女演员。另有一个房间也是带浴室的，住着一个被包了身的女人，她的男朋友每隔一个星期四来看她。除此之外，恐怕还有些暂住的客人。这地方很安静，适于居住。”

Isabel was a trifle disconcerted and because she knew Larry noticed it and was amused she was half inclined to take offence.
伊莎贝尔听了有点窘迫，被拉里瞧在了眼里并感到好笑，这一来就叫她有些气恼了。

“What's that great big book on the table?”she asked.
“桌子上那本大厚书是什么书？”她问。

“That?Oh, that's my Greek dictionary.”
“哪本？噢，那是我的希腊字典。”

“Your what?”she cried.
“你的什么来着？”她提高了嗓门问。

“It's all right. It won't bite you.”
“你看看也没有关系，它不会咬你的。”

“Are you learning Greek?”
“你在学希腊语吗？”

“Yes.”
“是的。”

“Why?”
“为什么？”

“I thought I'd like to.”
“可能是个人爱好吧。”

He was looking at her with a smile in his eyes and she smiled back at him.
他说话时望着她，眼睛里带着微笑，她也冲他笑了笑。

“Don't you think you might tell me what you've been up to all the time you've been in Paris?”
“你能不能告诉我，来巴黎后这么长时间你都做了些什么？”

“I've been reading a good deal. Eight or ten hours a day.I've attended lectures at the Sorbonne.I think I've read everything that's important in French literature and I can read Latin, at least Latin prose, almost as easily as I can read French.Of course Greek's more difficult.But I have a very good teacher.Until you came here I used to go to him three evenings a week.”
“我花大量时间看书，每天用去八至十个小时吧。另外还到巴黎大学听讲座。法国文学中重要的作品，我想自己都读遍了。现在我能看得懂拉丁文了，至少能看懂拉丁散文了，如今看拉丁文几乎跟看法文一样轻松了。当然，学希腊语是比较难的。不过，我有个非常好的老师。你来之前，我每周去他那儿学三个晚上。”

“And what is that going to lead to?”
“这样做的目的何在？”

“The acquisition of knowledge，”he smiled.
“掌握知识呗。”他笑了笑说。

“It doesn't sound very practical.”
“这好像不太实际。”

“Perhaps it isn't and on the other hand perhaps it is. But it's enormous fun.You can't imagine what a thrill it is to read the Odyssey in the original.It makes you feel as if you had only to get on tiptoe and stretch out your hands to touch the stars.”
“也许不太实际，另一方面，也许却又是实际的。追求知识本身就是极大的乐趣。你想象不来，阅读原文版的《奥德赛》该是多么令人激动。你有一种感觉，好像一踮脚尖，伸出手就能够着星星似的。”

He got up from his chair, as though impelled by an excitement that seized him, and walked up and down the small room.
他起身离开椅子，像是兴奋得不能自已，在小房间里来来回回踱起了步。

“I've been reading Spinoza the last month or two. I don't suppose I understand very much of it yet, but it fills me with exultation.It's like landing from your plane on a great plateau in the mountains.Solitude, and an air so pure that it goes to your head like wine and you feel like a million dollars.”
“这一两个月我在看斯宾诺莎的书。我不敢说自己理解得十分透彻，然而心里却充满了欢乐。就好像是乘飞机来到了高山之巅的一处辽阔的平原上，周围空无一人，空气清新得犹如芬芳的美酒，沁人心脾。你觉得自己就像是个极其富有的人。”

“When are you coming back to Chicago?”
“你什么时候回芝加哥呢？”

“Chicago?I don't know. I haven't thought of it.”
“芝加哥？不知道。我没有想过这件事。”

“You said that if you hadn't got what you wanted after two years you'd give it up as a bad job.”
“你不是说过，如果你两年之后还找不到你要找的东西，就改弦更张吗？”

“I couldn't go back now. I'm on the threshold.I see vast lands of the spirit stretching out before me, beckoning, and I'm eager to travel them.”
“反正我现在是不能回去的。我刚刚迈过了一道门槛，看见一望无际的精神王国展现在我的面前，它在向我招手，我急切地要到那儿去瞧瞧。”

“What do you expect to find in them?”
“你想到那里寻找什么呢？”

“The answers to my questions.”He gave her a glance that was almost playful, so that except that she knew him so well, she might have thought he was speaking in jest.“I want to make up my mind whether God is or God is not. I want to find out why evil exists.I want to know whether I have an immortal soul or whether when I die it's the end.”
“寻找问题的答案。”他说完瞅了她一眼，眼神中带几分戏谑。她如若不是对他知根知底，也许会觉得他在开玩笑呢。“我想弄清楚到底有没有上帝，弄清楚为什么会有邪恶。我想知道灵魂是不朽的，还是人一死，灵魂也跟着消亡。”

Isabel gave a little gasp. It made her uncomfortable to hear Larry say such things, and she was thankful that he spoke so lightly, in the tone of ordinary conversation, that it was possible for her to overcome her embarrassment.
伊莎贝尔倒抽了一口气。听见拉里这般说话，她觉得怪不舒服，幸亏他语调轻轻松松，跟平时说话别无二致，她这才没有将内心的窘迫表露出来。

“But Larry，”she smiled.“People have been asking those questions for thousands of years. If they could be answered, surely they'd have been answered by now.”
“可是，拉里，”她微笑说，“这样的问题人类已经提出来几千年了，如果能够解答的话，肯定早已有答案了。”

Larry chuckled.
拉里笑了一声。

“Don't laugh as if I'd said something idiotic，”she said sharply.
“请别这么笑，弄得好像我在说蠢话似的。”她沉下脸说。

“On the contrary I think you've said something shrewd. But on the other hand you might say that if men have been asking them for thousands of years it proves that they can't help asking them and have to go on asking them.Besides, it's not true that no one has found the answers.There are more answers than questions, and lots of people have found answers that were perfectly satisfactory for them.Old Ruysbroek for instance.”
“恰恰相反，我认为你说得在理。但从另一方面看，假如人类提出这样的问题达数千年之久，那就证明这样的问题是很有必要提出的，以后还会继续提出来。至于说无人能解答这种问题，那是不对的。人类寻找到的答案已经超出了问题本身。许多人给出的答案十分完美。鲁斯布鲁克老人就是一例。”

“Who was he?”
“鲁斯布鲁克是谁？”

“Oh, just a guy I didn't know at college，”Larry answered flippantly.
“哦，是大学里的，一个我不认识的人。”拉里轻描淡写地说。

Isabel didn't know what he meant, but passed on.
伊莎贝尔不懂他是什么意思，但他继续往下说着。

“It all sounds so adolescent to me. Those are the sort of things sophomores get excited about and then when they leave college they forget about them.They have to earn a living.”
“有些话听上去挺幼稚的。大学的莘莘学子为这种知识兴奋不已，可是一走出校门就将其抛在了脑后，因为他们不得不挣钱养家。”

“I don't blame them. You see, I'm in the happy position that I have enough to live on.If I hadn't I'd have had to do like everybody else and make money.”
“这也无可厚非。你知道，我幸亏还有点钱可以过活。如若不然，我也得跟其他人一样去挣钱了。”

“But doesn't money mean anything to you?”
“难道钱对你一点都不重要吗？”

“Not a thing，”he grinned.
“是的。”他微微一笑说。

“How long d'you think all this is going to take you?”
“你这样读书学习，还要多长时间？”

“I wouldn't know. Five years.Ten years.”
“说不准。大概要五年十年吧。”

“And after that?What are you going to do with all this wisdom?”
“以后呢？你准备把学到的知识怎么运用？”

“If I ever acquire wisdom I suppose I shall be wise enough to know what to do with it.”
“如果掌握了知识，就有了智慧，到时候一定会知道如何运用的。”

Isabel clasped her hands passionately and leant forwards in her chair.
伊莎贝尔情绪激动地把两只纤手绞在一起，坐在椅子上的身子朝前一探。

“You're so wrong, Larry. You're an American.Your place isn't here.Your place is in America.”
“你完全错了，拉里。你是个美国人，这儿不是你安身立命的地方。你安身立命的地方是美国。”

“I shall come back when I'm ready.”
“等我学成了，我会回去的。”

“But you're missing so much. How can you bear to sit here in a backwater just when we're living through the most wonderful adventure the world has ever known?Europe's finished.We're the greatest, the most powerful people in the world.We're going forward by leaps and bounds.We’ve got everything.It’s your duty to take part in the development of your country.You’ve forgotten, you don’t know how thrilling life is in America today.Are you sure you’re not doing this because you haven’t the courage to stand up to the work that’s before every American now?Oh, I know you’re working in a way, but isn’t it just an escape from your responsibilities?Is it more than just a sort of laborious idleness?What would happen to America if everyone shirked as you’re shirking?”
“可是，你会错过很多机会。美国正在经历着一个世界从来没有经历过的伟大时代，你怎么能忍心坐在这死气沉沉的地方一动不动呢？欧洲已到了穷途末路。美利坚民族是世界上最伟大、最强盛的民族。我们正在一日千里地前进。在美国，一切条件都已具备。人人有义务投身于祖国的建设之中。你忘记了自己的义务，不知道如今在美国生活是多么激动人心。你不愿回国，是不是就是说你缺乏勇气去面对摆在每一个美国人面前的重任呢？哎，我知道你也在从事着某种工作，但这是否就是逃避责任的一种方式呢？这恐怕不仅仅是貌似勤奋的偷懒吧？如果人人都像你这样逃避责任，美国会弄成什么样子呢？”

“You're very severe, honey，”he smiled.“The answer to that is that everyone doesn't feel like me. Fortunately for themselves, perhaps, most people are prepared to follow the normal course；what you forget is that I want to learn as passionately as-Gray, for instance, wants to make pots of money.Am I really a traitor to my country because I want to spend a few years educating myself?It may be that when I'm through I shall have something to give that people will be glad to take.It's only a chance, of course, but if I fail I shall be no worse off than a man who's gone into business and hasn’t made a go of it.”
“你很尖酸刻薄，小心肝。”他笑着说，“我的回答是，并不是每个人都和我有同样的感受。大多数人都准备按部就班地过日子，这对他们而言也许是幸运的。你忘记了一点，我的求知欲跟格雷挣大钱的欲望同样强烈。难道我想花几年时间进行深造，真的就是背叛祖国吗？也许我学成以后，会有自己的贡献，国人会感到高兴呢。当然，这只是一种假设。万一我功败垂成，也不见得就比经商失败的人差到哪里去。”

“And what about me?Am I of no importance to you at all?”
“那么我呢？难道我对你一点不重要？”

“You're of very great importance. I want you to marry me.”
“你对我非常重要。我要娶你做新娘呢。”

“When?In ten years?”
“什么时候？十年之内吗？”

“No. Now.As soon as possible.”
“不，现在。越快越好。”

“On what?Mamma can't afford to give me anything. Besides, she wouldn't if she could.She'd think it wrong to help you to live without doing anything.”
“用什么结婚？妈妈是无法给我嫁妆的。即便她有这个能力，她也不会给的。她觉得纵容你游手好闲是错误的。”

“I wouldn't want to take anything from your mother，”said Larry.“I've got three thousand a year. That's plenty in Paris.We could have a little apartment and a bonne à tout faire.We’d have such a lark, darling.”
“我并不想接受你母亲的任何帮助。”拉里说道，“我每年有三千块的进项，在巴黎生活绰绰有余。咱们可以租一小套公寓房，雇一个用人，日子会过得很滋润的，小宝贝。”

“But, Larry, one can't live on three thousand a year.”
“可是，拉里，一年三千块过日子是不够用的。”

“Of course one can. Lots of people live on much less.”
“够用肯定是够用的。很多人钱比这还少，也能过日子。”

“But I don't want to live on three thousand a year. There's no reason why I should.”
“可是，我不愿意靠一年三千块钱过日子。我没必要这样做。”

“I've been living on half that.”
“我在这儿生活，只用这一半的花销。”

“But how！”
“可这叫什么日子！”

She looked at the dingy little room with a shudder of distaste.
她看了看眼前寒碜的斗室，不屑地耸了耸肩。

“It means I've got a bit saved up. We could go down to Capri for our honeymoon and then in the fall we'd go to Greece.I'm crazy to go there.Don't you remember how we used to talk about travelling all over the world together?”
“过这日子，我积攒了一些钱。咱们可以上卡普里岛去度蜜月，秋天再去希腊。我渴望去看看希腊。还记得吗，咱们经常说要一起周游世界的？”

“Of course I want to travel. But not like that.I don't want to travel second-class on steamships and put up at third-rate hotels, without a bathroom, and eat at cheap restaurants.”
“旅游我当然是愿意去的，但并非这样的游法。乘轮船，我不愿住二等舱；住宿，我不愿下榻于三等旅馆，那儿连个浴室都没有；吃饭，我不愿进廉价饭馆。”

“I went all through Italy last October like that. I had a wonderful time.We could travel all over the world on three thousand a year.”
“去年十月，我游历意大利，恰恰就是这样去的，不是玩得也挺开心么。靠每年三千块的进项，咱们完全可以把世界跑个遍。”

“But I want to have babies, Larry.”
“可是，我还想生孩子呢，拉里。”

“That's all right. We'll take them along with us.”
“这没有关系。有了孩子，咱们带他们一起去旅游。”

“You're so silly，”she laughed.“D'you know what it costs to have a baby?Violet Tomlinson had one last year and she did it as cheaply as she could and it cost her twelve hundred and fifty. And what d'you think a nurse costs?”She grew more vehement as one idea after another occurred to her.“You're so impractical.You don't know what you’re asking me to do.I’m young, I want to have fun.I want to do all the things that people do.I want to go to parties, I want to go to dances, I want to play golf and ride horseback.I want to wear nice clothes.Can’t you imagine what it means to a girl not to be as well dressed as the rest of her crowd?D’you know what it means, Larry, to buy your friends’old dresses when they’re sick of them and be thankful when someone out of pity makes you a present of a new one?I couldn’t even afford to go to a decent hairdresser to have my hair properly done.I don’t want to go about in street-cars and omnibuses；I want to have my own car.And what d’you suppose I’d find to do with myself all day long while you were reading at the Library?Walk about the streets window-shopping or sit in the Luxembourg Garden seeing that my children didn’t get into mischief?We wouldn’t have any friends.”
“你真傻。”她大笑着说，“你知道有个孩子要花多少钱吗？维奥莱特·汤姆林森去年生了个孩子，尽量省着花，还花掉了两千五百块。你知道请个保姆需要多少钱吗？”她心里想到一连串的事情，越想越情绪激动，“你一点不实际，不知道你要求我过什么样的日子。我年轻，需要过快乐的生活。我想跟其他人一样寻求欢乐，去赴宴、跳舞，去打高尔夫球和骑马。我想穿漂亮的衣服。你能想象得来，一个女孩子家穿戴不如自己的同伴，心里该是什么样的滋味？把你朋友穿厌了的旧衣服买来穿，或者别人可怜你，把一件新衣服送给你，而你千恩万谢，拉里呀，你可知道这会叫你心里是什么滋味？那时我甚至于连去一家像样的理发店做做头发也做不起。我出行可不愿乘坐电车和公共汽车，而是想开自己的汽车。你在图书馆里看书，那你让我干什么以度过漫长的一天？难道让我逛马路、看橱窗，还是坐在卢森堡博物馆的花园里留心自己的孩子不要闯祸？那样生活，咱们连个朋友都不会有的。”

“Oh, Isabel，”he interrupted.
“请别这样，伊莎贝尔！”他打断她的话头说道。

“Not the sort of friends I'm used to. Oh yes, Uncle Elliott's friends would ask us now and then for his sake, but we couldn't go because I wouldn't have the clothes to go in, and we wouldn't go because we couldn’t afford to return their hospitality.I don’t want to know a lot of scrubby, unwashed people；I’ve got nothing to say to them and they’ve got nothing to say to me.I want to live, Larry.”She grew suddenly conscious of the look in his eyes, tender as it always was when fixed on her, but gently amused.“You think I’m silly, don’t you?You think I’m being trivial and horrid.”
“不会有我以前的那类朋友。哦，不错，艾略特舅舅的朋友有时候会看他的面子请请咱们，但咱们去不成，一是因为没有体面的衣服，二是由于咱们回请不起。至于交朋友，我可不愿意认识一大群穷了吧唧、衣衫不整的人。我跟他们无共同语言，他们也跟我无话可说。我需要的是真正的生活，拉里。”说到这里，她突然感到他眼睛里有种神情，虽一如既往地温情脉脉，却微微含有一丝嘲笑的成分，“你觉得我愚蠢，是不是？你一定觉得我鼠目寸光、蛮不讲理。”

“No, I don't. I think what you say is very natural.”
“不，并非如此。我觉得你说这些话都是很自然的。”

He was standing with his back to the fireplace, and she got up and went up to him so that they were face to face.
此时，他背对着壁炉站着。她立起身，走到他跟前，和他面对着面。

“Larry, if you hadn't a cent to your name and got a job that brought you in three thousand a year I'd marry you without a minute's hesitation. I'd cook for you, I'd make the beds, I wouldn’t care what I wore, I’d go without anything, I’d look upon it as wonderful fun, because I’d know that it was only a question of time and you’d make good.But this means living in a sordid beastly way all our lives with nothing to look forward to.It means that I should be a drudge to the day of my death.And for what?So that you can spend years trying to find answers to questions that you say yourself are insoluble.It’s so wrong.A man ought to work.That’s what he’s here for.That’s how he contributes to the welfare of the community.”
“拉里，如果你身无分文，却有一个年收入三千块的工作，我会毫不迟疑地嫁给你。我会替你烧饭、收拾床铺，不在乎自己穿什么样的衣服，什么都不会在乎，就是苦也是苦中有乐，因为我知道这只是一个时间问题，你总会有出头之日的。可是，现在这样结婚，就意味着我一辈子要过这种肮脏的猪狗不如的日子，连个盼头都没有。这就是说，我要苦熬日月，至死方休。意义何在？而你成年累月为那种连你自己都说无法解答的问题苦苦寻找答案。这真是大错特错。一个男子汉，应该去工作。人生的意义就在于此。工作才能够造福于社会。”

“In short it's his duty to settle down in Chicago and enter Henry Maturin's business. Do you think that by getting my friends to buy the securities that Henry Maturin is interested in I should add greatly to the welfare of the community?”
“依你之见，我有责任立足于芝加哥，进入亨利·马图林的公司。你是不是认为，动员我的朋友买亨利·马图林所关心的股票，就是造福于社会呢？”

“There must be brokers and it's a perfectly decent and honourable way of earning a living.”
“经纪人的工作是社会所必需的，是一种十分体面、光彩的谋生方式。”

“You've drawn a very black picture of life in Paris on a moderate income. You know, it isn't really like that.One can dress very nicely without going to Chanel.And all the interesting people don't live in the neighbourhood of the Arc de Triomphe and the Avenue Foch.In fact few interesting people do, because interesting people generally don't have a lot of money.I know quite a number of people here, painters and writers and students, French, English, American, and what not, whom I think you'd find much more amusing than Elliott’s seedy marquises and long-nosed duchesses.You’ve got a quick mind and a lively sense of humour.You’d enjoy hearing them swap ideas across the dinner table even though the wine was only vin ordinaire and you didn’t have a butler and a couple of footmen to wait on you.”
“你把巴黎普通收入人群的生活形容得一塌糊涂。人们用不着上沙诺尔式女装店，仍旧可以穿得体体面面。并非所有风趣的人都住在凯旋门附近和福煦大街。事实上，住在那儿的风趣的人少之又少，因为风趣的人一般都没有多少钱。我在这儿认识许多人，有画家、作家、大学生，有法国人、英国人、美国人，形形色色的。我敢肯定，见了面，你会觉得他们比艾略特的那些乏味的侯爵夫人和傲慢的公爵夫人有意思得多。你思想敏锐，而且富于幽默感。和他们共进晚餐，虽然喝的只是普通的葡萄酒，又没有一个管家和几个侍从在跟前伺候，但听他们指点江山，你会感到是一种享受。”

“Don't be stupid, Larry. Of course I would.You know I'm not a snob.I'd love to meet interesting people.”
“别东拉西扯的，拉里。我当然会喜欢的。你也知道我并不是个势利小人。我是愿意结交风趣的人的。”

“Yes, in a Chanel dress. D'you think they wouldn't catch on to it that you looked upon it as a sort of cultured slumming?They wouldn't be at their ease, any more than you would, and you wouldn't get anything out of it except to tell Emily de Montadour and Gracie de Chateau-Gaillard afterwards what fun you’d had meeting a lot of weird bohemians in the Latin Quarter.”
“是呀。如果你穿一身沙诺尔式女装，他们会不会觉得你气势凌人，好像是来视察贫民窟的呢？他们不自在，你恐怕也会如坐针毡的。过后，你可以告诉你的闺密爱米丽·德·蒙塔杜尔和格拉茜·德·夏托加亚尔，说你在拉丁区结识了一群放荡不羁的文人，十分好玩，除此之外你将一无所获。”

Isabel slightly shrugged her shoulders.
伊莎贝尔听了微微耸了耸肩。

“I dare say you're right. They're not the sort of people I've been brought up with.They're not the sort of people I have anything in common with.”
“我敢说你讲得对。他们不是我自小所熟悉的那种人。我跟他们毫无相同之处。”

“Where does that leave us?”
“此话从何说起？”

“Just where we started. I've lived in Chicago ever since I can remember.All my friends are there.All my interests are there.I'm at home there.It's where I belong and it's where you belong.Mamma's ill and she’s never going to get any better.I couldn’t leave her even if I wanted to.”
“还是咱们开头讲的。自从记事起，我就一直住在芝加哥。我的朋友以及我所关心的一切全在那儿。在那儿，我感到心情舒坦。那儿就是我的根，也是你的根。妈妈患病在身，永无康复之日。我即便想离开她的身边，也是做不到的。”

“Does that mean that unless I'm prepared to come back to Chicago you don't want to marry me?”
“这是不是说除非我回到芝加哥去，否则你就不愿嫁给我了？”

Isabel hesitated. She loved Larry.She wanted to marry him.She wanted him with all the power of her senses.She knew that he desired her.She couldn't believe that when it came to a showdown he wouldn't weaken.She was afraid, but she had to risk it.
伊莎贝尔犹豫了一下。她爱拉里，真心实意想嫁给他。她对他的爱是发自于肺腑之爱。她很清楚，拉里也爱她。她坚信，一旦摊牌，拉里会软下来的。她虽然心里也有担忧，但这个险是必须要冒的。

“Yes, Larry, that's just what it does mean.”
“是的，拉里，事情就是这样。”

He struck a match on the chimney-piece, one of those old-fashioned French sulphur matches that fill your nostrils with an acrid odour, and lit his pipe. Then, passing her, he went over and stood by one of the windows.He looked out.He was silent for what seemed an endless time.She stood as she had stood before, when she was facing him, and looked in the mirror over the chimney-piece, but she did not see herself.Her heart was beating madly and she was sick with apprehension.He turned at last.
他取出一根火柴——一根老式的法国造硫黄火柴，划着之后会叫你的鼻孔里充满呛人的味道。他把火柴在壁板上划亮，用它点着了烟斗。随即，他从她的身旁走过，来到了一扇窗户跟前，将目光投向外边。他沉默着，没完没了地沉默着。伊莎贝尔站在原地没动，仍站在刚才面对拉里的地方，眼睛望着壁炉板上的镜子，对镜中的自己却视而不见。她的心狂跳不已，焦虑得都快透不过气来了。最后，拉里终于转过了身来。

“I wish I could make you see how much fuller the life I offer you is than anything you have a conception of. I wish I could make you see how exciting the life of the spirit is and how rich in experience.It's illimitable.It's such a happy life.There's only one thing like it, when you're up in a plane by yourself, high, high, and only infinity surrounds you.You're intoxicated by the boundless space.You feel such a sense of exhilaration that you wouldn’t exchange it for all the power and glory in the world.I was reading Descartes the other day.The ease, the grace, the lucidity.Gosh！”
“真希望你能明白，我提供给你的生活要比你想象的充实得多。真希望能让你知道，精神生活是多么地激动人心，那会是多么丰富的人生经历。精神追求是永无止境的，是一种无比幸福的人生道路。只有一种体验能与之相比——你乘飞机飞上蓝天，越飞越高，越飞越高，周围什么都没有，只有无边无际的太空。无涯的空间让你为之陶醉。你会产生极度的欢乐——这种欢乐，哪怕把全世界所有的权力和荣誉都给你，你也不肯交换的。前几天我读笛卡儿的书，就有这种感觉。他写得是那样流畅、优美、明晰，叫人不忍释卷！”

“But Larry，”she interrupted him desperately，“don't you see you're asking something of me that I'm not fitted for, that I'm not interested in and don't want to be interested in?How often have I got to repeat to you that I’m just an ordinary, normal girl. I’m twenty, in ten years I shall be old, I want to have a good time while I have the chance.Oh, Larry, I do love you so terribly.All this is just trifling.It’s not going to lead you anywhere.For your own sake I beseech you to give it up.Be a man, Larry, and do a man’s work.You’re just wasting the precious years that others are doing so much with.Larry, if you love me you won’t give me up for a dream.You’ve had your fling.Come back with us to America.”
“可是，拉里，”伊莎贝尔不顾一切地插话说，“难道你不知道，让我干自己不感兴趣也不想感兴趣的事情是强人所难？真不知我对你说过多少遍了，我仅仅是个再普通不过的女孩，今年二十岁，再过十年就变老了，我要抓紧时间及时行乐。拉里呀拉里，我是非常爱你的。可你现在的生活意义不大，不会使你有什么前途的。为了你的前途，我也要恳求你放弃眼前的生活。拉里，活着就应该像个男子汉，应该有所担当。别人都在只争朝夕地干事业，而你却在糟蹋宝贵的年华。拉里，你要是爱我的话，就不会为了一个梦想而置我于不顾。你已经按自己的意愿生活过一段时间了，求你跟我们一起回美国吧。”

“I can't, darling. It would be death to me.It would be the betrayal of my soul.”
“恕我不能，亲爱的。那会叫我生不如死，等于出卖我的灵魂。”

“Oh, Larry, why d'you talk in that way?That's the way hysterical, highbrow women talk. What does it mean?Nothing.Nothing.Nothing.”
“哎，拉里，何必用那样的口吻讲话呢？只有歇斯底里、卖弄嘴皮子的文人才说如此慷慨激昂的话。这有什么意思呢？一点意思都没有，只是一派空言。”

“It happens to mean exactly what I feel，”he answered, his eyes twinkling.
“它反映的恰恰是我内心的感受。”他回话时，眨巴了几下眼睛。

“How can you laugh?Don't you realize this is desperately serious?We've come to the cross-roads and what we do now is going to affect our whole lives.”
“你怎么可以笑呢？你可曾意识到，这是一个极其严肃的问题？咱们正站在十字路口，何去何从将会影响你我的一生。”

“I know that. Believe me, I'm perfectly serious.”
“这我清楚。请相信我，我是十分认真的。”

She sighed.
伊莎贝尔不由叹了口气。

“If you won't listen to reason there's nothing more to be said.”
“假如你不听我讲道理，我也就无话可说了。”

“But I don't think it's reason. I think you've been talking the most terrible nonsense all the time.”
“可我并不认为你在讲道理，而是一派荒谬绝伦的胡言乱语。”

“I?”If she hadn't been so miserable she would have laughed.
“你在说我？”如果不是心境凄凉，她一定会哈哈大笑起来的。

“My poor Larry, you're as crazy as a coot.”
“可怜的拉里呀，你简直太愚蠢了，蠢得百窍不通。”

She slowly slipped her engagement ring off her finger. She placed it on the palm of her hand and looked at it.It was a square-cut ruby set in a thin platinum band and she had always liked it.
她慢慢把订婚戒指从手指上摘下来，放在掌心，用眼睛盯着它看。戒指细细的，用白金打造，上面镶一粒四四方方的红宝石，她一直视若珍宝。

“If you loved me you wouldn't make me so unhappy.”
“你假如爱我，就不应当使我这样不快活。”

“I do love you. Unfortunately sometimes one can't do what one thinks is right without making someone else unhappy.”
“我的确爱你。不幸的是，有时候一个人想要做自己认为对的事情，却免不了要使别人不快活。”

She stretched out her hand on which the ruby was resting and forced a smile to her trembling lips.
她把放着红宝石戒指的手伸出来，颤抖着嘴唇挤出了一个微笑。

“Here you are, Larry.”
“给，还给你吧，拉里。”

“It's no good to me. Won't you keep it as a memento of our friendship?You can wear it on your little finger.Our friendship needn't stop, need it?”
“我用不着。你留下它做个纪念，以纪念你我的友谊，好吗？你可以把它戴在小拇指上。咱们的友谊没必要因此而中断，是不是？”

“I shall always care for you, Larry.”
“我会永远想着你的，拉里。”

“Then keep it. I should like you to.”
“那你就留着它。我对你的感情永不会改变。”

She hesitated for an instant, then put it on the finger of her right hand.
她迟疑了一下，然后把戒指套在了右手的小拇指上。

“It's too large.”
“太大了。”

“You can have it altered. Let's go to the Ritz bar and have a drink.”
“你可以调整一下。走，咱们去里茨酒吧喝杯酒。”

“All right.”
“好的。”

She was a trifle taken aback that it had all gone so easily. She had not cried.Nothing seemed to be changed except that now she wasn't going to marry Larry.She could hardly believe that everything was over and done with.She resented a little the fact that they hadn't had a terrific scene.They had talked it all over almost as coolly as though they had been discussing the taking of a house.She felt let down, but at the same time was conscious of a slight sense of satisfaction because they had behaved in such a civilized way.She would have given a lot to know exactly what Larry was feeling.But it was always difficult to know that；his smooth face, his dark eyes were a mask that she was aware even she, who had known him for so many years, could not penetrate.She had taken off her hat and laid it on the bed.Now, standing before the mirror, she put it on again.
她感到有点意外，没想到她和拉里的关系就这么轻轻松松结束了。她没有为之伤心落泪。除了她将来不会嫁给拉里之外，其他的什么都没有改变。她简直不敢相信他们的关系已结束，已画上了句号。二人没有吵得脸红脖子粗，这反倒叫她遗憾。他们心平气和地把他们的关系做了个了断，差不多就像谈论租房子那样声色不变。她虽然觉得有些失望，同时却也掺杂着一丝半点满意的心情，因为他们表现得都十分文明。她真想知道拉里究竟是一种什么心态。可是，要想猜透拉里葫芦里卖的是什么药，历来都是很难的。他那张淡定的脸以及那双乌黑的眼就是一副面具，即便她这么一个认识他多年的人也难看得穿。她本来把帽子已经摘掉，放在了床上；现在站在镜子前面，将帽子重新戴上。

“Just as a matter of interest，”she said, arranging her hair，“did you want to break our engagement?”
“只是感到好奇，”她一边说话，一边用手理了理头发，“你是不是早就想解除婚约了？”

“No.”
“没有。”

“I thought it might be a relief to you.”He made no reply. She turned round with a gay smile on her lips.“Now I'm ready.”
“我觉得这对你也许会是一种解脱。”见他没有回应，她嘴角带着一丝做作的微笑转过了身去，“我准备好了。”

Larry locked the door behind him. When he handed the key to the man at the desk he enveloped them both in a look of conniving archness.It was impossible for Isabel not to guess what he thought they had been up to.
拉里出门后将门锁上。他把钥匙交给桌子旁坐的那个人时，那人瞅了他们几眼，目光狡狯，显得心领神会。伊莎贝尔不可能猜不到他把他们看成了什么货色。

“I don't believe that old fellow would bet much on my virginity，”she said.
“我敢说那家伙对我的贞操存有满肚子的怀疑。”她说。

They took a taxi to the Ritz and had a drink. They spoke of indifferent things, without apparent constraint, like two old friends who saw one another every day.Though Larry was naturally silent, Isabel was a talkative girl, with an ample fund of chit-chat, and she was determined that no silence should fall between them that might be hard to break.She wasn't going to let Larry think she felt any resentment towards him and her pride constrained her to act so that he should not suspect that she was hurt and unhappy.Presently she suggested that he should drive her home.When he dropped her at the door she said to him gaily：
他们乘出租车去里茨喝了杯酒，谈些无关痛痒的事，表面上看无拘无束的，就像两个天天见面的老朋友。尽管拉里天生沉默寡言，伊莎贝尔却很健谈，叽叽喳喳把话说了一大篓子。她决心不让他们中间出现沉默的局面，弄得双方无话可说。她不想使拉里觉察出她恨他。自尊心使然，她必须强作欢颜，叫对方看不出她受伤、难过的心情。过了一会儿，她提出要他送她回去。当汽车把她送到门前，下车时，她以轻快的语气对他说：

“Don't forget that you're lunching with us tomorrow.”
“别忘了明天跟我们一起吃午饭。”

“You bet your life I won't.”
“就是天塌下来也不会忘的。”

She gave him her cheek to kiss and passed through the porte cochère.
她侧过脸，叫他吻了一下，然后就走进了旅馆的大门。