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双语《小约翰》 十二

所属教程:译林版·小约翰

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2022年06月27日

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XII
十二

He had sunk into deep sleep—that sleep which is too deep for dreams.
他落在一个深的睡眠里,直到那么深,在那里没有梦。

When he came out of the darkness—very slowly—into the cool grey light of dawn,he passed through varied and peaceful dreams of an early time.He woke up,and they glided off his soul,like dew-drops off a flower.
当他又从这幽暗中起来——慢慢地——到了清晨的苍茫凉爽的光中,他拂去了斑斓的、温柔的旧梦。他醒了,有如露珠之从一朵花似的,梦从他的灵魂上滑掉了。

The look in his eyes was calm and sweet as they still gazed on the crowd of lovely images.
还在可爱的景象的错杂中,半做着梦的他的眼睛的表情,是平静而且和蔼。

But he closed them again quickly as though the glare were painful,to shut out the pale daylight.He saw just what he had seen the morning before.It seemed to him far away and a long time ago.Still,hour by hour,he remembered it all,from the dreary day-break to the terrible night.He could not believe that all these horrors had come upon him in a single day.The beginning of his wretchedness seemed so remote,lost in grey mist.
但因了当着黯淡的白昼之前的苦痛,他如一个羞明者,将眼睛合上了。凡有在过去的早晨所曾见的,他都看见。这似乎已经很久,很远了。然而还是时时刻刻重到他的灵魂之前,从哀愁的早晨起,直到寒栗的夜里。他不能相信,那一切恐怖,是会在一日之中出现的。他的窘迫的开初,仿佛已经是这样远,像失却在苍茫的雾里一般。

The sweet dreams vanished,and left no trace on his spirit;Pluizer shook him,and the dreadful day began,gloomy and colourless;the first of many,many more.
柔和的梦,无影无踪地从他的灵魂上滑去了——穿凿摇撼他——而沉郁的时光于是开始,懒散而且无色,是许多许多别的一切的前驱。

But all he had seen last night in that terrible walk dwelt in his mind.Had it been no more than a fearful vision?
但是凡有在前夜的可怕的游行中所见的,却停留在他那里。这单是一个骇人的梦象么?

When he asked Pluizer doubtfully,he looked at him with mockery and amazement.
当他踌蹰着将这去问穿凿的时候,那一个却嘲笑而诧异地看着他。

“What do you mean?”he said.
“你想什么?”他问。

But Johannes did not see the sarcasm in his eyes,and asked whether all this,which he still saw so plainly and clearly,had not indeed been true.
然而约翰却看不出他眼里的嘲笑,还问,他看得如此清楚而且分明,如在面前的一切,是否真是这样地出现了?

“Why,Johannes,how silly you are!Such a thing could never happen at all.”
“不,约翰,你却怎样地胡涂呵!这样的事情是决不能发生的。”

And Johannes did not know what to think.
约翰不知道他须想什么了。

“We must set you to work at once,and then you will ask no more such foolish questions.”
“我们就要给你工作了。那么,你便不再这样痴呆地问了。”

So they went to Doctor Cypher,who was to help Johannes to find what he sought.
他们便到那要帮助约翰,来觅得他所寻觅的号码博士那里去。

But as they went along the crowded street,Pluizer suddenly stood still,and pointed out a man in the throng.
在活泼的街道上,穿凿忽然沉静地站住了,并且从大众中指出一个人来给约翰看。

“Do you remember him?”asked Pluizer,and he laughed aloud when Johannes turned pale and stared at the man in terror.
“你还认识他么?”他问,当约翰大惊失色,凝视着那人的时候,他便在街上发出一声响亮的哗笑来。

He had seen him last night,deep under ground.
约翰在昨夜见过他,深深地在地下。

The doctor received them kindly and imparted his learning to Johannes,who listened to him for hours that day—and for many days after.
博士亲切地接待他们,并且将他的智慧颁给约翰。他听至数小时之久,在这一天,而且在以后的许多天。

The doctor had not found what they sought;but was very near it,he said.He would lead Johannes as far as he himself had gone, and then,together,they would be sure to achieve to it.
约翰所寻觅的,博士也还未曾觅得,他却几乎了。他说,他要使约翰上达,有如他自己一般。于是他们俩就要达了目的。

Johannes learned and listened,diligently and patiently—day after day,and month after month.He had very little hope,but he understood that he must go on now,as far as possible.He thought it strange that the longer he sought the light the darker it grew around him.The beginning of everything,he learned,was the best part of it,but the deeper he got the duller and more obscure it became.He began with the study of plants and animals,of everything about him,and when he had studied these a long time they all turned to numbers.Everything resolved itself into numbers—pages of figures.This Doctor Cypher thought quite splendid;he said that light would come to them as the numbers came,but to Johannes it was darkness.
约翰倾听着,学习着,勤勉而且忍耐——许多日之久——许多月之久。他仅怀着些少的希望,然而他懂得,他现在应该进行——进行到他所做得到。他觉得很奇特。他寻觅光明,越长久,而他的周围却越昏暗。凡他所学的一切的开端,是很好的——只是他钻研得越深,那一切也就越凄凉,越黯淡。他用动物和植物,以及周围的一切来开手,如果观察得一长久,那便成为号码了。一切分散为号码,纸张充满着号码。博士以为号码是出色的,他并且说,号码一到,于他是光明——但在约翰却是昏暗。

Pluizer never left him,and drove and urged him on when he was disheartened or weary.His presence marred every moment of enjoyment and admiration.
穿凿伴住他,倘或他厌倦和疲乏了,便刺戟他。享用或叹赏的每一瞬间,他便埋怨他。

Johannes was amazed and delighted when he learnt and saw how exquisitely flowers were constructed,how the fruit was formed, and how insects unconsciously helped in the process.
约翰每当学到,以及看见花朵怎样微妙地凑合,果实怎样地结成,昆虫怎样不自觉地助了它们的天职的时候,是惊奇而且高兴。

“That is beautiful!”he exclaimed.“How exactly it is all arranged,and how delicately and accurately contrived!”
“这却是出色。”他说,“这一切是算得多么详尽,而且造得多么精妙和合式呵!”

“Yes,amazingly contrived,”said Pluizer.“The pity is that the greater part of this ingenuity and accuracy comes to nothing.How many flowers produce fruit,and how many seeds become trees?”
“是的,格外合式,”穿凿说,“可惜,那合式和精妙的大部分是没有用处的。有多少花结果,有多少种子成树呢?”

“But still,it seems to be all wrought by some grand plan,”said Johannes.“Look,the bees seek honey for their own ends and do not know that they are serving the flowers,and the flowers attract the bees by their colours.That is a scheme,and they both work it out without knowing it.”
“然而那一切仿佛是照着一个宏大的规划而作的,”约翰回答,“看罢!蜜蜂们自寻它们的蜜而不知道帮助了花,而花的招致蜜蜂是用了它们的颜色。这是一个规划,两者都在这上面工作,不识不知地。”

“That all looks very pretty,but it fails in many ways.When the bees have a chance,they bite a hole through the flower and make the whole internal structure useless.He is a clever Contriver indeed who can be laughed to scorn by a bee!”
“这见得真好,但欠缺的也还多。假使那蜜蜂觉得可能,它们便在花下咬进一个洞去,损坏了那十分复杂的安排。伶俐的工师,被一个蜜蜂当作呆子!”

And when he came to study the organism of men and beasts,matters were even worse.Whenever Johannes thought anything beautiful or well adapted,Pluizer would demonstrate its imperfections and inefficiency.He expatiated on the host of ills and woes to which every living creature is liable,selecting by preference the most disgusting and terrible.
在人类和动物之间的神奇的凑合,那就显得更坏了。他从约翰以为美的和艺术的一切之中,指出不完备和缺点。他指示他能够侵略人和动物的、苦恼和忧愁的全军,他还偏喜欢选取那最可厌的和最可恶的。

“The Contriver,Johannes,was very shrewd,but in everything he made he forgot something,and men have as much as they can do to patch up these defects as best they may.You have only to look about you.An umbrella,a pair of spectacles—for shelter and better sight—these are specimens of man's patching.They are no part of the original plan.But the Contriver never considered that men would have colds,and read books,and do a thousand other things for which his plan was inadequate.He gave his children clothes without reflecting that they would outgrow them.Almost all men have by this time long outgrown their natural outfit.Now they do everything for themselves,and never trouble themselves at all about the Contriver and his schemes.What he failed to give them,they simply take by brute force;and when the obvious result is that they must die,they evade death,sometimes for a long period,by a variety of devices.”
“这工师,约翰,对于他所做的一切,确是狡狯的,然而他忘却了一点东西。人们做得不歇手,只我要弥补一切损失。但看你的周围罢!一柄雨伞,一个眼镜,还有衣服和住所,都是人类的补工。这和那大规划毫无关系。那工师却毫不盘算,人们会受寒,要读书,为了这些事,他的规划是全不中用的。他将衣服交给他的孩子们,并没有盘算他们的生长。于是一切人们,便几乎都从他们的天然衣服里长大了。他们便自己拿一切到手里去,全不再管那工师和他的规划。没有交给他们的,他们也无耻地放肆地拿来——还有分明摆着的,是使他们死,于是他们便往往借了各种的诡计,在许多时光中,来回避这死。”

“But it is men's own fault,”said Johannes.“Why do they wilfully deviate from the laws of nature?”
“然而这是人们之罪,”约翰大声说,“他们为什么任性远离那天然的呢?”

“Oh,silly Johannes!If a nursemaid lets an innocent child play with fire and it is burned,whose fault is it? The child's,who knew nothing about fire;or the nurse's,who knew that it would burn itself? And who is to blame if men pine in misery and disobedience to nature—they or the all-wise Contriver,compared with whom we are ignorant children?”
“呵,你这胡涂的约翰!倘或一个保姆使一个单纯的孩子玩耍火,并且烧起来了,谁担负这罪呢?那不识得火的孩子,还是知道那要焚烧的保姆呢?如果人们在困苦中或不自然中走错了,谁有罪,他们自己呢,还是他们和他相比,就如无知无识的孩子们一般的,无所不知的工师呢?”

“But they are not ignorant,they know—”
“他们却并非不知,他们曾经知道……”

“Johannes,if you say to a child:Do not touch that fire,it will hurt you—and if the child touches it all the same because it does not know what pain is,can you then plead your own innocence and say:The child was not ignorant? Did you not know that it would not heed your advice? Men are as foolish as children.Glass is brittle and clay is soft.And He who made men and did not take their folly into account,is like a man who should make weapons of glass and not expect them to break,or arrows of clay and not expect them to bend.”
“约翰,假如你告诉一个孩子,‘不要弄那火,那是会痛的!’假使那孩子仍然弄,因为他不知道什么叫作痛,你就能给你脱去罪名,并且说:‘看呀!这孩子是并非不知道的么?’你深知道,那是不来听你的话的。人们就如孩子一般耳聋和昏愦。但玻璃是脆的,粘土是软的。谁造了人类而不计算他们的昏愦,便如那等人一样,他用玻璃造兵器而不顾及它会破碎,用粘土做箭而不顾及它一定要弯曲。”

His words fell like drops of liquid fire on Johannes's soul,and his heart swelled with a great grief to which his former woes were as nothing,and which often made him weep in the silent,sleepless hours of the night.
这些话像是纷飞的火滴一般,落在约翰的灵魂上。他的胸中萌生了大悲痛,将他那先前的、在夜间寂静和无眠的时候常常因此而哭的苦痛驱除了。

Oh,for sleep!sleep!There came a time after long days,when nothing was so dear to him as sleep.Then he neither thought nor suffered;in his dreams he was always carried back to his old life.It seemed to him beautiful as he dreamed of it,but day by day he could never remember exactly how things had then been.He only knew that the vexations and cravings of that former time were better than the vacant,stagnant feeling of the present.He once had longed bitterly for Windekind;he once had waited hour after hour on Robinetta.How delightful that had been!
唉!睡觉呵!睡觉呵!——曾有一时——多日之后——睡觉在他是最好的时候了。其中没有思想,也没有悲痛,他的梦还是永永引导他重到他的先前的生活去。当他梦着的时候,他仿佛觉得很华美,但在白昼,却不再能够想象那是怎样了。他仅知道他的神往和苦痛,较胜于他现今所知道的空虚和僵死的感觉。有一回,他曾苦痛地神往于旋儿;有一回,他曾时时等候着荣儿。那是多么华美呵!

Robinetta!Did he still long for her? The more he learnt the feebler that craving became.For that too was dissected,and Pluizer showed him what love really was.Then he felt ashamed,and Doctor Cypher said that he could not as yet express it in numbers,but that he should soon accomplish this.Then things grew darker and darker round little Johannes.
荣儿!——他还在神往么?——他学得越多,他的神往便越消失。因为这也散成片段了,而且穿凿又使他了然,什么是爱。他于是自愧,号码博士说,他还不能从中做出号码来,然而快要出现了。小约翰的周围,是这样的黑暗而又黑暗。

He had an obscure feeling of thankfulness that he had not seen Robinetta in the course of that fearful expedition with Pluizer.
他微微觉得感谢,是在他和穿凿的可怕的游行里没有看见荣儿。

When he spoke of it to Pluizer he made no reply but a sly laugh;but Johannes understood that this was from no desire to spare him.
当他和穿凿提及时,那人不说,却只狡狯地微笑。然而约翰懂得,这是并不怜恤他。

Those hours which Johannes did not spend in study or work Pluizer took advantage of to show him the life of men.He managed to take him everywhere—into the hospitals where sick people lay in great numbers—long ranks of pale,haggard faces with a dull, suffering expression—and where unearthly silence reigned,broken only by coughing and groaning.And Pluizer showed him how many of them could never leave the place.And when at a fixed hour streams of men and women came pouring into the place to visit their sick relations,Pluizer said:“You see,they all know that they too must some day find their way into this house and these gloomy rooms,only to be carried out in a black chest.”
约翰一有并不学习和工作的时间,穿凿便利用着领他到人间去。他知道带他到各处,到病院中,病人们躺在大厅里,苍白消瘦的脸带着衰弱或苦痛的表情的一长列——那地方是忧郁的沉静,仅被喘息和叫唤打断了。穿凿还指示他,其中的几个将永不能出这大厅去。倘在一定的时间,人们的奔流进向这厅,来访问他患病的亲戚的时候,穿凿便说:“看哪,大家都知道,便是他们也将进这屋子和昏暗的大厅里面来,为的是毕竟在一个黑箱子里抬出来。”

“Then how can they ever be so light-hearted?”thought Johannes.
“他们怎么能这样高兴呢?”约翰想。

And Pluizer took him up to a little attic-room where a dismal twilight reigned,and where the distant tinkle of a piano in a neighbouring house made an incessant dreamy noise.Here they found,among others,one man who lay staring helplessly before him at a narrow sunbeam which slowly crept up the wall.
穿凿领他到楼上的一间小厅中,其中充满着伤情的半暗,从邻室里,有风琴的遥响不住地梦幻地传来。于是穿凿从众中指一个病人给他看,是顽钝地向前凝视着沿了墙懒懒地爬来的一线日光的。

“He has lain there for seven years,”said Pluizer.“He was a sailor,and has seen the palms of India,the blue seas of Japan,the forests of Brazil;and now,for seven long years,he has amused himself all day and every day with the sunbeams and the sound of the piano.He will never leave this room again;but it cannot last much longer now.”
“他在这里躺了七年了,”穿凿说,“他是一个海员,他曾见印度的椰树,日本的蓝海,巴西的森林。现在他在七个长年的那些长日子,消受着一线日光和风琴游戏。他不再能走出这里了,然而还可以经过这样的一倍之久。”

After this day Johannes had his worst dream;he fancied himself in that little room,listening to the feeble music,in the melancholy half-light,with nothing to look at but the rising and waning sun-beams—never more till the end.
从这一日起,约翰是极可怕的梦,他忽然醒来了,在小厅中,在如梦的声响中的伤情的半暗里,至于直到他的结末,只看见将起将灭的黄昏。

Pluizer took him,too,to the great churches to listen to what was said there.He took him to festivals and grand ceremonies,and made him intimate in many houses.
穿凿也领他到大教堂,使他听在那里说什么。他引他到宴会,到盛大的典礼,到几家的闺房。

Johannes learnt to study men,and it sometimes happened that he could not help thinking of his past life,of the tales Windekind had told him and of his own disappointments.There were men who reminded him of the glow-worm,who fancied that the stars were his departed friends;or of the cockchafer who was one day older than his comrade,and who had said so much about a vocation;and he heard tales which made him think of Kribbelgauw,the Spider-Hero,and of the eel who did nothing,but was fed because it was a grand thing to have a fat king.Himself,he could only compare to the younger cockchafer,who did not know what a vocation was, and flew to the light.He felt that he in the same way was creeping, helpless and crippled,over the carpet with a string round his body,a cruel string which Pluizer tugged and twitched.
约翰学着和人们认识,而且他屡次觉得,他应该想想他先前的生活、旋儿讲给他的童话和他自己的经历,有一些人,是使他记起那想在星星中看见它亡故的伙伴的火萤的——或者那金虫,那比别个老一天,而且谈论了许多生活本分的——他听到故事,则使他记起涂鸦泼剌,那十字蜘蛛中的英雄,或者记起鳗鱼,那只是躺着吃,因为一个肥胖的年青的王,就显得特别体面的。对于自己,他却比为不懂得什么叫作生活本分,而飞向光中去的那幼小的金虫。他似乎无助地残废地在地毯上各处爬,用一条线系着身子,一条锋利的线,而穿凿则牵着、掣着它。

Ah!he should never see the garden again!When would the heavy foot come and crush him to death?
唉,他将永不能再觅得那园子了,沉重的脚何时到来,并且将他踏碎呢?

Pluizer laughed at him if he ever spoke of Windekind;and by degrees he began to think that Windekind had never existed.
他说起旋儿,穿凿便嘲弄他。而且他渐渐相信起来了,旋儿是从来没有的。

“But,Pluizer,then the little key does not exist—nothing is real!”
“然而,穿凿,那么,匙儿也就不成立了,那就全没有什么成立了。”

“Nothing,nothing.Men and numbers—those are real and exist, endless numbers!”
“全无!全无!只有人们和号码,这都是真的,存在的,无穷之多的号码。”

“Then you deceived me,Pluizer.Let me go away—let me seek no more—leave me alone.”
“然而,穿凿,那么,你就骗了我了。使我停止,使我不再寻觅罢,使我独自一个罢!”

“Have you forgotten what Death told you? That you are to become a man,a complete man?”
“死怎么对你说,你不知道了么?你须成一个人,一个完全的人。”

“I will not!it is horrible!”
“我不愿意。这太可怕!”

“You must.You wished it once.Look at Doctor Cypher,does he think it horrible? Become like him—”
“你必须——你曾经愿意了的。看看号码博士罢,他以为这太可怕么?你要同他一样。”

It was very true.Doctor Cypher seemed always content and happy.Unwearied and imperturbable,he pursued his way,studying and teaching,satisfied and equable.
这是真实。号码博士仿佛长是平静而且幸福。他不倦地不摇地走他的路,学着而且教着,知足而且和平。

“Look at him,”Pluizer went on,“he sees everything,and yet sees nothing.He looks on men as though he himself were a being apart,having nothing to do with their sufferings.He moves among griefs and wretchedness as though he were invulnerable,and meets Death face to face as though he were immortal.All he aims at is to understand what he sees,and everything is good in his eyes that comes in the way of knowledge.He is satisfied with everything so long as he understands it.That is what you must be.”
“看他罢,”穿凿说,“他看见一切,而仍然一无所见。他观察人类,似乎他自己是别的东西,和他们全不一样。他闯过疾病和困苦之间,似乎不会受伤,而且他还与死往还,如不死者。他只希望懂得他之所见,而凡有于他显然的,在他是一样地正当。只要一懂得,他便立即满足了。你也须这样。”

“But that I can never be.”
“我却永不能。”

“Well,I cannot help that.”
“好,那我就不能帮助你了。”

This was the hopeless conclusion of all their discussions.Johannes grew dull and indifferent,and searched and searched, knowing no longer why,or for what.He had become like the multitudes of whom Wistik had spoken.
这永是他们的交谈的无希望的结束。约翰是疲乏而且随便了,寻觅又寻觅,是什么和为什么,他不复知道了。他已如旋儿所说的许多人们一般。

It was now winter,but he scarcely observed it.
冬天来了,他几乎不知道。

One chill and misty morning,when the snow lay wet and dirty on the roads,and fell from the trees and roofs,he went with Pluizer for his daily walk.
当一个天寒雾重的早晨,潮湿的污秽的雪躺在街道上,并且从树木和屋顶上点滴着的时候,他和穿凿走着他平日的路。

In a public garden he met a party of young girls,in a row, and carrying school-books.They pelted each other with snow,and laughed and gambolled;their voices rang out clearly over the snowy plain.There was no sound of feet or wheels to be heard;nothing but the tinkling bells of the horses,or the latch of a shop door.Their merry laughter sounded distinctly through the silence.
在一处,他遇见一列年青的姑娘,手上拿着教科书。她们用雪互掷着,笑着,而且彼此捉弄着,她们的声音在雪地上清彻地发响。听不到脚步和车轮的声响,只有马的,或者一所店门的关闭,像似一个铃铛的声音。高兴的笑声,清彻地穿过这寂静。

Johannes noted that one of these damsels looked at him and stared back after him.She wore a coloured cloak and a black hat.He knew her face very well,but he could not think who she was.She nodded to him once and again.
约翰看见,一个姑娘怎样地看他而且向他凝望着,她穿一件小皮衣,戴着黑色的帽子。他熟识她的外貌,却仍不知道她是谁。她点头,而且又点一回头。

“Who is that? I know her.”
“这是谁呢?我认识她。”

“Yes,very likely.Her name is Maria,some persons call her Robinetta.”
“是的,这是可能的。她叫马理,有几个人称她荣儿。”

“No,that cannot be.She is not like Windekind.She is a girl like any other.”
“不,这不能是。她不像旋儿。她是一个平常的姑娘。”

“Ha,ha,hah!She cannot be like Nobody.But she is what she is.You have longed to see her so much;now I will take you to see her!”
“哈!哈!哈!她不能像一个并不存在的或人的。然而她是,她是的。你曾经这样地很仰慕她,我现在要将你弄到她那里去了。”

“No,I do not want to see her.I would rather see her dead like the others.”
“不,我不愿意见她。我宁可见她死,像别人一样。”

And Johannes would not look round again,but hurried on, murmuring:
约翰不再向各处观看了,却是忙忙地前奔,并且喃喃着:

“This is the last!There is nothing—nothing!”
“这是结局。全不成立!全无!”


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