越喧嚣越寂寞，你有社交恐惧症吗？

导读：我们习惯了在网上和形形色色的人聊天，可是面对面的交流却让我们紧张、焦虑，不知道该说什么。周围越喧嚣，我们可能越寂寞……这就是所谓的社交恐惧症?其实不然，社交焦虑人人都有，只要合理应对，这都不是事儿。

Wang Na (pseudonym), 21, at Jilin University, has been experiencing social awkwardness since her junior middle school years. Back then, she felt self-conscious about going to the restroom alone. She even limited the amount of water she drank just so she didn’t have to go there often. “I feared that other students would think that I didn’t get along well with others if I was seen alone,” she said.

21岁的王娜(化名)是吉林大学的一名学生。她从初中时期开始就一直饱受社交无能的困扰。那时候，一个人去厕所都会让她觉得不自在。她甚至通过少喝水来减少上厕所的次数。她说：“我害怕别的同学看到我一个人会觉得我不合群。“

Wang is not the only sufferer of what’s called “social anxiety”. China Youth Daily recently did a survey among 1,544 people. Nearly half (44.6 percent) of the participants admitted that they were afraid of being the center of attention. Up to 66.7 percent of them said they are more likely to be anxious during face-to-face communications than in online conversations.

王娜绝不是唯一感到“社交焦虑”的人。《中国青年报》最近对1,544名参与者做了一项调查，其中近一半(44.6%)的人承认他们害怕成为大家关注的焦点，高达66.7%的受访者说他们在面对面交流时比网上聊天更紧张。

But these feelings are not necessarily something to worry about. “There is ‘social anxiety’, and there is ‘social anxiety disorder’ or ‘social phobia’. They are two completely different things,” said Li Songwei, a lecturer at the psychological counseling center of Tsinghua University.

不过完全不必因为有这种感觉而担忧。清华大学心理咨询中心咨询师李松蔚说：“ ‘社交焦虑”不等于‘社交焦虑失调’或者‘社交恐惧症’，它们是两种完全不同的东西。“

According to Thomas Rodebaugh, a psychology professor at Washington University in St Louis, US, almost everyone suffers from at least a little social anxiety. For example, we may get the jitters before speaking in public, or have a bad night’s sleep if there is going to be an important interview the next day.

根据美国圣路易斯华盛顿大学心理学教授托马斯•罗德鲍的说法，几乎每个人或多或少都会受到社交焦虑的困扰。比如，我们当众发言之前可能会特别紧张，或者在重要面试的前一天晚上紧张地睡不着觉。

“We’d be worried about someone who never experiences any social anxiety,” Rodebaugh told The Atlantic.

罗德鲍告诉《大西洋月刊》：“如果有人从不会感到社交焦虑，那我们就要担心了。”

But when does social anxiety develop into a disorder? That is up to a doctor to diagnose, says Li. There are two simple questions you can ask yourself if you’re concerned–“How much does the anxiety affect my life?” and “Is it acceptable?”

但是社交焦虑什么时候会发展成病症呢?李松蔚认为这取决于医生的诊断。如果你担心(患上社交恐惧症)，那么你可以问问自己这两个问题—— “焦虑会多大程度上影响你的生活?”和“这种焦虑是你能承受的吗?”

If the condition becomes so problematic that you refuse to go out at all and cannot live a normal life, you need to seek help.

如果情况变得很糟糕，你甚至拒绝外出，无法正常生活，那么你就要寻求帮助了。

But for common social anxiety, people all have their different coping strategies. “The more coping strategies one has, the less likely the anxiety is going to develop into a disorder,” Li said.

但对于普通的社交焦虑，每个人都有自己不同的应对措施。李松蔚说：“一个人应对焦虑的方法越多，那么他患上社交恐惧症的几率就越低。”

Tina (pseudonym), 20, at Zhejiang A&F University, faces anxiety every time she has to speak up in class, so the strategy she employs is “reasoning plus rewards”. For example, she tells herself that there is no such thing as right or wrong when speaking publicly; there are only people who agree with you or not. And if she conquers her fear, she buys new shoes or goes to see a movie after class.

20岁的蒂娜(化名)就读于浙江农林大学，每次课堂发言都让她焦虑不已，所以她采用了“劝说+奖励”的策略。比如，她告诉自己，公开发言没有对错之分;只有同意你和不同意你的人。如果她战胜了自己的恐惧，她会奖励自己一双新鞋或者课后去看一场电影。

“The first time I pushed myself to speak up in class was a breakthrough,” she said. “Things seemed a lot easier after I took that first step.”

她说：“第一次强迫自己在课堂上发言是一个突破。当踏出第一步后，我发现其实也没有那么难。”