幸福和成功的秘诀?试着同情

幸福和成功的秘诀?试着同情

Looking for a way to be happier? Are you seeking deeper connections with friends or looking for more friends? Want to relate better to your co-workers?

在寻找一种更快乐的方式吗?你是想和朋友建立更深的联系，还是想找更多的朋友?想和同事建立更好的关系?

Try a little compassion.

试着有点同情心。

Compassion, as one scholar describes it, is "experiencing feelings of loving kindness toward another person's affliction." It's related to, but a little different from empathy, which the same scholar defines as "feeling with someone, that is, sharing the other person's emotion."

正如一位学者所描述的那样，同情是“对他人的痛苦体验仁爱之情。”它与同理心有关，但与同理心略有不同，同理心是同一位学者定义的“感受他人，也就是与他人分享情感”。

But compassion is not for the touchy-feely Oprah set alone. The U.S. military and professional sports teams found real success with mindfulness and compassion training. In fact, the baseball team that incorporated mindfulness practice into their routine last year, the Chicago Cubs, won the World Series. The "lovable losers" hadn't won a World Series in 108 years.

但是同情并不属于奥普拉一个人。美国军队和职业运动队通过善意和同情心训练取得了真正的成功。事实上，去年将了善意训练纳入日常训练的棒球队芝加哥小熊队(Chicago Cubs)赢得了世界职业棒球大赛冠军。这位“可爱的失败者”已经108年没有赢得过世界大赛冠军了。

"'This training is not for wimps,' as my grad student, who was a former football player, used to say," said Amishi Jha, an associate professor of psychology. "This is for the toughest of the tough who want to make the world better and benefit personally, too."

心理学副教授阿米希贾(Amishi Jha)说，“我的研究生曾是一名足球运动员，他常说，‘这种训练不适合懦弱的人。’”“这是为那些想让世界变得更美好、也想亲自受益的最坚强的人准备的。”

Jha has U.S. Department of Defense contracts to teach mindfulness and compassion to the military. At the University of Miami, she works with football players and regular students to teach them resilience in the face of high stress, and regular everyday stress, too.

贾与美国国防部签订合同，向军方教授善意和同情心。在迈阿密大学(University of Miami)，她与足球运动员和普通学生合作，教授他们面对高压力时的适应力，以及日常压力时的适应力。

What she, and many other scholars have found, is that compassion is key to coping. The compassionate tend to have deeper connections with others and more friends. They are more forgiving and have a stronger sense of life purpose. Many studies have shown these results.

她和许多其他学者发现，同情心是应对问题的关键。富有同情心的人往往与他人和更多的朋友有更深的联系。他们更宽容，有更强的生活目标感。许多研究显示了这些结果。

Compassion also has direct personal benefit. The compassionate tend to be happier, healthier, more self-confident, less self-critical (pdf), and more resilient.

同情也有直接的个人利益。富有同情心的人往往更快乐，更健康，更自信，更少自我批评，更有弹性。

But if you've ever struggled to find loving kindness for the guy who cut you off on your morning commute, know you are not alone.

但是，如果你曾经挣扎着为那个在早上的通勤路上拦住你的人找到爱的善意，要知道你并不孤单。

Recent politics have exposed real anger, coldness and polarization among Americans, polls say. We may even be getting less compassionate, as a 2009 study showed.

民意调查显示，最近的政治事件暴露出美国人真正的愤怒、冷漠和两极分化。2009年的一项研究显示，我们甚至可能变得越来越没有同情心。

Compassion takes practice. But if you do practice, the experts promise the next time you get cut off, while you may not be happy about it, it won't ruin your morning.

同情需要练习。但如果你真的练习，专家保证下次你被拦住时，虽然你可能不高兴，但不会毁了你的早晨。

How do you get to compassion?

你如何获得同情?

A whole industry exists to teach you compassion, but it doesn't have to cost you money. You can start simply with a common exercise called the Loving Kindness Meditation.

整个行业的存在是为了教会你同情，但这并不需要你花钱。你可以简单地从一个叫做“仁爱冥想”的普通练习开始。

In that quiet space, sit in a comfortable position. Focus on your breath and try to clear your mind. The key is to be present in that space in that time. Then mentally focus on your heart area and think about someone you feel tenderness toward. This could be your spouse or your mom or your child.

在那个安静的空间里，坐到一个舒服的位置。专注于你的呼吸，试着清理你的大脑。关键是要在那个时间出现在那个空间里。然后在心里专注于你的心脏区域，想想你对谁感到温柔。这可能是你的配偶、母亲或孩子。

The people with the compassion training still felt these negative emotions, like those with empathy training did, but the part of their brain connected with reward and positive effect also lit up.

接受过同情训练的人，和接受过同理心训练的人一样，仍然会感受到这些负面情绪，但他们大脑中与奖励和积极效果相关的部分也会被激活。