双语·当呼吸化为空气 我犹豫了很久 拖延到最后时刻

我犹豫了很久，拖延到最后时刻，才选择了营地的工作。之后，我到生物系指导老师的办公室去告诉他自己的决定。进门的时候，他正坐在办公桌前，和往常一样，埋头于一本学术期刊。这个大眼袋的男人平时很安静，和蔼可亲。不过，我跟他说了自己的暑假计划以后，他完全变了个人：双目圆睁，脸迅速涨红了，开始唾沫飞溅地教训我。
After delaying for as long as possible, I finally chose the camp. Afterward, I dropped by my biology adviser’s office to inform him of my decision. When I walked in, he was sitting at his desk, head in a journal, as usual. He was a quiet, amiable man with heavy-lidded eyes, but as I told him my plans, he became a different person entirely: his eyes shot open, and his face flushed red, flecks of spit spraying.

“什么？”他说，“你以后是想当科学家还是……厨子？”
“What?” he said. “When you grow up, are you going to be a scientist or a. . . chef ?”

期末还是来了，我迎着山路上的风，走向营地，心里还是有点担心这一步是不是走错了，走偏了。然而，我的怀疑很快就烟消云散。营地真是名副其实，好一派年轻人畅想中的田园美景：湖、山、人都美不胜收；经历、对话与友谊实在是丰富多彩。满月的夜晚，月光洒满旷野，不戴头灯也能远足。我们从凌晨两点启程，赶在日出前爬到附近的塔拉克峰。布满星星的晴朗夜空，倒映在脚下广阔深邃、水平如镜的湖中。在海拔三千多米的高峰，我们穿着睡袋相互偎依。有人很贴心地带了热咖啡，驱散了狂风带来的刺骨寒意。接着我们就静静地坐着，看一抹轻微的天蓝从东方地平线微微显露，这是太阳的先遣队，慢慢擦去了闪烁的星星。天光渐明，天空升得高远辽阔，接着第一缕阳光便现身了。远处南太浩湖边的道路上，清早通勤的人们渐次增多，一日之计，生机初现。然而，转过头，还能看见退去一半却依旧徘徊在空中的深蓝夜幕，据守西天，不肯离去，空中依然星光闪烁，满月还是悬挂天边。东边已是青天白日，阳光扑面而来，西边的黑夜却毫无屈服之意。黑夜与白天的分界，这景象如此崇高伟大，大概也没有哲学家能很好地用言语来解释。每当此时，就仿佛上帝在说：“要有光！”在高山、大地、宇宙这无限的辽远广阔之中，你情不自禁地觉得自己是渺小的一粒微尘，然而还是能感觉自己的双脚踩在大地上，确信自己存在于这庄严宏伟的天地之间。
Eventually the term ended and I was on the windy mountain road to camp, still slightly worried that I’d made a wrong turn in life. My doubt, however, was short-lived. The camp delivered on its promise, concen-trating all the idylls of youth: beauty manifest in lakes, mountains, people; richness in experience, conversation, friendships. Nights during a full moon, the light flooded the wilderness, so it was possible to hike without a head-lamp. We would hit the trail at two a. m., summiting the nearest peak, Mount Tallac, just before sunrise, the clear, starry night reflected in the flat, still lakes spread below us. Snuggled together in sleeping bags at the peak, nearly ten thousand feet up, we weathered frigid blasts of wind with coffee someone had been thoughtful enough to bring. And then we would sit and watch as the first hint of sunlight, a light tinge of day blue, would leak out of the eastern horizon, slowly erasing the stars. The day sky would spread wide and high, until the first ray of the sun made an appearance. The morning commuters began to animate the distant South Lake Tahoe roads. But craning your head back, you could see the day’s blue darken halfway across the sky, and to the west, the night remained yet unconquered—pitch-black, stars in full glimmer, the full moon still pinned in the sky. To the east, the full light of day beamed toward you; to the west, night reigned with no hint of surrender. No philosopher can explain the sublime better than this, standing between day and night. It was as if this were the moment God said, “Let there be light!” You could not help but feel your specklike existence against the immensity of the mountain, the earth, the universe, and yet still feel your own two feet on the talus, reaffirming your presence amid the grandeur.