《四季随笔》节选 - 秋 05

《四季随笔》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中对隐士赖克罗夫特醉心于书籍、自然景色与回忆过去生活的描述，其实是吉辛的自述，作者以此来抒发自己的情感，因而本书是一部富有自传色彩的小品文集。

吉辛穷困的一生，对文学名著的爱好与追求，以及对大自然恬静生活的向往，在书中均有充分的反映。本书分为春、夏、秋、冬四个部分，文笔优美，行文流畅，是英国文学中小品文的珍品之一。

以下是由网友分享的《四季随笔》节选 - 秋 05的内容，让我们一起来感受吉辛的四季吧!

A long time since I wrote in this book. In September I caught a cold, which meant three weeks' illness.

好久没提笔在这本书里写点什么了。九月份，我感冒了，病了整整三个星期。

I have not been suffering; merely feverish and weak and unable to use my mind for anything but a daily hour or two of the lightest reading. The weather has not favoured my recovery, wet winds often blowing, and not much sun. Lying in bed, I have watched the sky, studied the clouds, which—so long as they are clouds indeed, and not a mere waste of grey vapour—always have their beauty. Inability to read has always been my horror; once, a trouble of the eyes all but drove me mad with fear of blindness; but I find that in my present circumstances, in my own still house, with no intrusion to be dreaded, with no task or care to worry me, I can fleet the time not unpleasantly even without help of books. Reverie, unknown to me in the days of bondage, has brought me solace; I hope it has a little advanced me in wisdom.

我并不难受，就是有些发烧，身体虚弱，每天只能看一两个小时的闲书，此外头脑再无力承受任何活动。天气对我的康复没有帮助，潮湿的风常常刮起，阳光也很少。我躺在床上，凝视天空，观察云彩——只要它们还是云彩，不变成一坨灰色水汽——就总是有其美丽之处。无法读书一直是我恐惧的事情，曾有一次，我患了眼疾，对失明的恐惧几乎把我逼疯了。但我发现，就我现在的情形，在安静的房间里，不虞侵扰，没有什么工作和烦心事让我担忧，即使没有书的帮助，我也可以愉快地消磨时间。在为生计所困的昔日我没有幻想，如今它给我带来了安慰，但愿它能使我略为聪明一些。

For not, surely, by deliberate effort of thought does a man grow wise. The truths of life are not discovered by us. At moments unforeseen, some gracious influence descends upon the soul, touching it to an emotion which, we know not how, the mind transmutes into thought. This can happen only in a calm of the senses, a surrender of the whole being to passionless contemplation. I understand, now, the intellectual mood of the quietist.

当然，一个人不是靠刻意的苦思冥想才变得睿智，生活的真相不是被我们发现的。在无法预见的时刻，某种高尚的灵感降临至灵魂，使之激动，不知怎么地，头脑就将它变成了思想。这只有在所有感官都平静下来，整个人完全陷入一种忘情的冥思中时，才会发生。现在我了解寂静主义者的精神境界是怎样的了。

Of course my good housekeeper has tended me perfectly, with the minimum of needless talk. Wonderful woman!

当然，我的好管家把我照顾得无微不至，把无用的谈话减至最少。多好的女人！

If the evidence of a well-spent life is necessarily seen in "honour, love, obedience, troops of friends," mine, it is clear, has fallen short of a moderate ideal. Friends I have had, and have; but very few. Honour and obedience—why, by a stretch, Mrs. M-may perchance represent these blessings. As for love—?

如果完满人生必须要体现在“荣耀、爱、服从和许多朋友”中，那我的生活显然连中等理想都够不上。朋友我曾经有过，现在也还有，但是数量很少。荣耀和服从，也许M夫人勉强可以代表这些吧。但是爱呢？

Let me tell myself the truth. Do I really believe that at any time of my life I have been the kind of man who merits affection? I think not. I have always been much too self-absorbed; too critical of all about me; too unreasonably proud. Such men as I live and die alone, however much in appearance accompanied. I do not repine at it; nay, lying day after day in solitude and silence, I have felt glad that it was so. At least I give no one trouble, and that is much. Most solemnly do I hope that in the latter days no long illness awaits me. May I pass quickly from this life of quiet enjoyment to the final peace. So shall no one think of me with pained sympathy or with weariness. One—two—even three may possibly feel regret, come the end how it may, but I do not flatter myself that to them I am more than an object of kindly thought at long intervals. It is enough; it signifies that I have not erred wholly. And when I think that my daily life testifies to an act of kindness such as I could never have dreamt of meriting from the man who performed it, may I not be much more than content?

让我对自己坦白吧。我一生中何曾相信过自己是那种值得爱情眷顾的人？我对此不以为然。我一直都太专注于自身，对周围的一切太苛刻，又过分自负。像我这样的人，不管表面上有多少同伴，都将寂寞地生，孤独地死。我并不感到悲哀；不，日复一日地在孤独和寂静中躺着，我感到高兴。至少我没给任何人找麻烦，这就足够了。我无比郑重地祈望自己在以后的日子里不会受到疾病的长期困扰。希望我能够很快地从目前这种安静愉快的生活过渡到最终的平静。这样，没有人会在想起我时带了痛苦的同情或者是厌烦。一个——两个——甚至三个人可能会感到遗憾，不管怎样罢，我都会清楚地认识到，对于他们来说，我很清楚自己不过是间隔很长时间后他们好意想起的对象罢了。这就足够了，它表示我没有全盘犯错。然而，我目前的生活即是一种慈善行为的见证，而我做梦都想不到自己配接受那位施主的善举，想到这些，我不是要大感满足吗？