英语笑话：从电影中学会的19件事
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.
1.如果在城里被人追，你经常可以混在圣帕特里克节的游行队伍中藏身——在一年中的任何时候。
(小编注：圣帕特里克节在3月17日，是为了纪念爱尔兰守护神圣帕特里克，在这一天，人们通常要举行游行、聚餐和教堂礼拜等活动。)
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
2.所有的床都有特殊的L形被单，可以盖到女人的腋窝，但是只能盖到躺在她旁边的男人的腰。
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
3.所有的食品袋子里都至少有一条法国面包。
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
4.一旦涂上唇膏，它就永远不会掉色——即使是在潜水的时候。
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
5.任何建筑的通风系统都是完美的藏身之所。没有人会想到到那个地方找你，而你可以不费吹灰之力到达这座建筑的其他任何地方。
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
6.万一你需要伪装成德国长官，你不需要会说这种语言，有德国口音就行了。
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
7.在法国，任何建筑的任何窗子都能看见埃菲尔铁塔。
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
8.男人在被人狠揍的时候不会有痛的表情，但是会在女人为他清理伤口时有退缩的表现。
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
9.付出租车费用的时候不需要像拿出备忘录时那么细心——随便抓出一张钞票给司机就行了，拿出来的钱总是正好的。
10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
10.如果你失去了一只手，那会促使你手臂剩下的部分长15厘米。
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
11.妈妈们每天早晨都在为家人做蛋、培根和饼干，即使丈夫和孩子从来没时间吃。
12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
12.汽车和卡车相撞总是会有火焰产生。
13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
13.单独一场比赛的灯光足够照亮一个有足球场那么大的房间。
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
14.中世纪的农民都有一口好牙。
15. All single women have a cat.
15.所有的独身女人都有一只猫。
16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
16.所有从噩梦中醒来的人都会坐直，大口喘气。
17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
17.一个人向20个人开枪把20个人都杀死的可能性要比20个人杀死这一个人大。
18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
18.当墓地有令人毛骨悚然的音乐传出的时候总是应该密切调查。
19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
19.大多数人会有一个报纸剪贴簿——尤其当他们有家人或者朋友死于奇怪的船只失事事件的时候。
