英语幽默笑话大全爆笑精选

　　英语幽默笑话大全爆笑精选（一）: 男人不喜欢幽默的女生

　　If you want to impress a man, don't try to be funny.

　　如果你想给一个男人留下好印象，那么不要试图太有趣。

　　Research shows that men aren't hugely attracted to witty women.

　　研究表明，机智幽默的女人对男人没有太大的吸引力。

　　Given the choice of a female who makes him laugh, or one that laughs at his jokes, he will choose the latter.

　　如果让男人选择让她笑的女人还是听他的笑话笑的女人，他会选择后者。

　　Luckily, women aren't too worried about their jokes being appreciated. They, it seems, like men who make them smile.

　　幸运地是，女人不太担心她们的笑话会不会被欣赏。他们似乎更喜欢让她们笑的男人。

　　It is thought that women see the ability to make people laugh sign of intelligence – and men have evolved to show off how good they are with words.

　　女人把让人们笑的能力当做是聪明的标志，男人已经演变的擅长卖弄他们对文字的操控能力是多么的游刃有余。

　　The University of Miami researchers quizzed more than 80 men and women about how much importance they placed on having a partner who could make them laugh.

　　有个让他们笑的对象到底有多重要?迈阿密大学的研究员采访了80多位男人和女人。

　　The answers revealed that women like men make them laugh, while men want to go out with women who appreciate their humour.

　　答案显示，女人喜欢让他们笑的男人，然而男人想要跟欣赏他们的幽默的女人约会。

　　Given that women tend to be more choosy, men are under pressure to make them laugh.

　　考虑到女人们变得更加挑剔，男人也有逗她们笑的压力。

　　Miss Hone, who is close to completing her PhD, said: 'Given that humour requires high-level linguistic capacity, women are thought to use humour production as a sign that a man is a mentally-capable suitor.'

　　将要获得博士学位的Hone小姐说：‘鉴于幽默需要高水平的语言能力，女人把幽默作品看做是男人是个充满智慧的追求者的标志。’

　　However, she said that funny women shouldn't despair. There is also hope for bachelors who never remember punch lines.

　　然而，她说，有趣的女人不应该绝望。还有希望，还是有很多单身汉不会妙语连珠的。

　　This is because her results were based on averages – and not everyone will have the same taste.

　　这是因为她的结果是基于平均值的，并且不是每个人的品位都是相同的。

　　英语幽默笑话大全爆笑精选（二）:读点笑话学英语：最丑的孩子?

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”

　　【注释】

　　1. fume - to be angry about something 发怒，生气

　　常用介词搭配：fume at/over/about

　　例如：fume about what he said 对他所说的话感到生气

　　2. tell somebody off 斥责，责骂

　　tell somebody off for doing something 因为某人做某事而责骂他/她

　　例如：The boss is always telling me off for being late, even though he is late every day! 我的老板总拿迟到的事斥责我，即便他自己天天迟到!

　　英语幽默笑话大全爆笑精选（三）: 区别 Difference

　　"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.

　　"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

　　“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。

　　“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”

　　英语幽默笑话大全爆笑精选（四）:《狗住旅店》

　　一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”

　　旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单， 餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。

　　A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

　　An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

　　我要做的一切就是付钱 !All I do is pay

　　All I do is pay

　　"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My

　　wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,

　　and my daughter is foreign secretary."

　　"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your

　　position?"

　　"I’m the people. All I do is pay."

　　我要做的一切就是付钱

　　布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子

　　是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

　　“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”

　　“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”