| 11 |
| Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” |
| The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” |
| Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” |
| Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.” |
| 12 |
| Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.” |
| Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?” |
| Doctor: “Every two hours.” |
| 13 |
| Sleep with an open window tonight! |
| 1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this. |
| One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event. |
| 14 |
| “My wife suffers from a drinking problem.” |
| - |
| “Oh is she an alcoholic?” |
| - |
| “No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.” |
| 15 |
| I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. |
| I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. |
| 16 |
| Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn! |
| 17 |
| A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!” |
| Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“ |
| 18 |
| Doctor: “Do you do sports?” |
| Patient: “Does sex count?” |
| Doctor: “Yes.” |
| Patient: “Then no.” |
| 19 |
| Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser… |
| What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains! |
