双语笑话：谋杀亲夫

A Deadly Wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup，the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said，“Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease，combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following，your husband will surely die.”

“Each morning，fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant，and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores，as he probably had a hard day. Don’t discuss your problems with him，it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly，satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next ten months to a year，I think your husband will regain his health completely.”

On the way home，the husband asked his wife.

“What did the doctor say？”

“You’re going to die，”she replied.

谋杀亲夫

一位妇女陪丈夫去看医生。丈夫检查完以后，医生把她单独叫进办公室。

医生说：“你丈夫的病很严重，还伴有极度的精神紧张。如果你不采取以下措施，你丈夫一定会没命的。”

“每天早上，给他做一份有益健康的早餐。注意，一定要让他精神愉快，确保他有好的心情。中餐要营养丰富。晚餐尤其要精心准备，不要拿家务事烦他，因为他工作了一天很辛苦。也不要拿你的烦心事跟他说，这只会加重他的精神负担。最重要的是，你要满足他的每一个愿望。如果你能坚持这样做十个月到一年，我想你丈夫会完全康复的。”

在回家的路上，丈夫问他的妻子：“医生都说了些什么？”

“他说你快死了。”她答道。