如何把你家宠物武装到牙齿？

　　如何把你家宠物武装到牙齿?

　　ORLANDO, FLA. — The takeaway from the Global Pet Expo, at which 985 exhibitors of pet products were spread out over 13 football fields’ worth of real estate in the Orange County Convention Center here, is that Americans really love their dogs. And yet, perhaps as a result of so much love, those dogs are increasingly anxious, bored, overweight, messy and have terrible breath. They suffer from separation anxiety and they worry about thunderstorms, traffic noises, visitors and vacuum cleaners. Their joints ache, and they eat too fast; they chew the furniture and bedevil the neighbors with their barking. Also, drool happens.

　　佛罗里达州奥兰多——此次在奥兰治县会展中心(Orange County Convention Center)举办的全球宠物展(Global Pet Expo)，有985个宠物用品参展商，分布在一片超过13个足球场大小的场地里。从这次展览可以得出一个结论，美国人实在很爱他们的狗。然而，可能因为过于溺爱，那些狗儿变得越来越焦躁、倦怠、臃肿、邋遢，还散发出难闻的气味。他们患有分离焦虑症，担心打雷下雨，不喜欢听见车流的噪音，不喜欢有访客登门，也不喜欢真空吸尘器。它们关节疼痛，吃东西太快;它们啃烂家具，狂吠声侵扰四邻。口水四溢的事也常有发生。

　　Push Pushi raincoats (starting at about $40) have awning-like hoods.

　　Push Pushi公司生产的宠物雨衣，带有可拆卸的雨篷状兜帽(起价40美元)。

　　But such a thicket of issues encourages ingenuity — as does, presumably, the promise of a huge payday. Last year, Americans spent $55.7 billion on their pets, according to the American Pet Products Association, the group that sponsored the three-day event that ended on Friday. And next year’s spending, it estimated, will rise to $58.5 billion.

　　但这一大堆如此棘手的问题，也激发了创造力——大概类似于老板承诺的领薪日所起的作用吧。此次为期三天、即将于周五(3月21日——译注)闭幕的展览会，主办方是美国宠物用品协会(American Pet Products Association)。据该组织统计，去年一年，美国人花在宠物身上的开销是557亿美元(约合人民币3460.5亿元)。而明年，这项支出估计将会上涨到585亿美元(约合人民币3634.4亿元)。

　　There were more than 3,000 new products at the show, and while Pet Expo is theoretically a big tent that aims to address all appetites, this reporter noted only a smattering of booths devoted to the affairs of cats, reptiles, fish and small rodents. Really, dogs are more interesting than betas, if more problematic behavior-wise. And you can dress them, too.

　　此次展会推出了3000多种新产品。虽然按理来说，宠物用品展是个旨在满足所有需求的大卖场，但本文记者只看到了为数不多的几个有关猫咪、两栖动物、鱼类和小型啮齿类动物的展位。真的，虽然狗类更容易有行为举止方面的问题，却也比其它宠物更加有趣。而且，你还可以打扮它们。

　　On the way to the farthest, chilliest corner of the convention center — like so much of Orlando, the building was enthusiastically air-conditioned — where many of the new exhibitors were planted, there were fleece dog snoods (the Doggy Dickey, from American Dog Apparel, $25); hand-smocked dog dresses from Oscar Newman Pet Couture ($72 to $79); and natty raincoats with detachable awning-like hoods (starting at about $40) from Push Pushi, whose chief operating officer, Steffen Kuehr, has another company that makes protective gear like kneepads for the military.

　　会展中心大厦与奥兰多市(Orlando)里的许多地方一样，场内的空调开得很足。一路往会展中心最偏僻冷清的角落走去，那里是许多新参展商的所在地。他们的展品有羊毛材质的狗头套(来自宠物服饰品牌American Dog Apparel的Doggy Dickey，价格25美元[约合人民币155元]);有手工百褶宠物狗罩衫，由奥斯卡·纽曼宠物时装公司(Oscar Newman Pet Couture)制造(价格从72美元至79美元[约合人民币447元至491元]不等);还有Push Pushi公司生产的帅气宠物雨衣，带有可拆卸的雨篷状兜帽(起价40美元[约合人民币249元])。该公司的首席运营官史蒂芬·库尔(Steffen Kuehr)还经营着另一家为军队生产护膝类防护装备的公司。

　　Also trawling the aisles was Lauren Darr, founder of the International Association of Pet Fashion Professionals (motto: Unleashing Pet Style, One Designer at a Time). Don’t snicker. Ms. Darr said her organization, started in August, already has 2,000 such pros in its database.

　　国际宠物时尚专业协会(International Association of Pet Fashion Professionals)的创始人劳伦·达尔(Lauren Darr)，也游弋在展会的走道中“撒网”(该协会的座右铭是：发布宠物风尚，每次一位设计师)。别偷着乐。达尔说，她这家成立于8月份的组织的数据库中，已经有了2000名这样的支持者了。

　　She stopped to chat with Chris Martin and his 14-year-old daughter, Brooke, newbies at the show. It was a golden retriever’s separation anxiety that led Miss Martin, now a ninth-grader in Spokane, Wash., to invent the iCPooch (about $150), a video-chat/treat dispenser that works with a smartphone, tablet or computer. Last year, when Miss Martin brought the notion — inspired, she said, by Pez dispensers and the abundance of wireless monitoring technologies — to Spokane’s annual Start Up Weekend, a 54-hour workshop and business competition, she received a standing ovation. Since then, she has raised nearly $30,000 in a Kickstarter campaign and “several hundred thousand dollars more in angel funds,” her father said.

　　她停下脚步，与克里斯·马丁(Chris Martin)及其14岁的女儿、初次参加这个展会的布鲁克(Brooke)攀谈起来。正是一只金毛猎犬的分离焦虑症，让这位家住华盛顿州斯波坎市 (Spokane, Wash)的9年级学生发明了iCPooch(大约150美元[约合人民币932元])。这是一种可以通过智能手机、平板电脑或台式电脑工作的视频聊天/ 喂食器。布鲁克说，去年，她从Pez喂食器和各种无线监控技术中得到了灵感。当她把这个想法带到斯波坎市每年一度的创业周末(Start Up Weekend)活动时，在这个长达54小时的研讨会与商业推广竞赛中，她得到了全场起立鼓掌喝彩。自那以后，她在Kickstarter网站的一次筹资活动中共募集到3万美元(约合人民币18.6万元)，“还获得了十多万美元的天使基金，”她父亲说。

　　Grinning at Ms. Darr, the pet fashion group founder, and perhaps imagining an iCPooch in every household with dogs (there are 56.7 million such households in the United States, according to the pet products association), Mr. Martin added, “Imagine their embarrassment if they weren’t properly attired when you called to talk to them,” meaning the dogs.

　　马丁对宠物风尚组织的创始人达尔咧嘴一笑，他也许在想象，将来每个养狗的家庭都拥有一个iCPooch(据宠物用品协会统计，美国有5670万这样的家庭)。他补充说，“你可以想象自己一个电话打过去的时候，它们衣冠不整的尴尬样子，”他指的那些狗。

　　It was dog slobber that spurred the invention of the Fetchbee, a Frisbee-esque plastic disc (about $25) with a clip-on/clip-off arm that enables you to hurl it over and over again without getting drool all over your hands. Or mud. Or having to bend down.

　　而Fetchbee这项发明的诞生，是源自宠物狗流口水的问题。这是一个飞盘状的塑料圆盘(大约25美元[约合人民币155元])，连着一根可以夹上/松开的杆子，让你能不断把飞盘投掷出去，而不用沾得满手口水或是满手泥，你甚至都不用弯腰了。

　　Adriaan Smit, its creator, is a South African engineer living in Portland, Ore., who earlier invented the WavyWand, a human toy that makes trippy light trails with LEDs. His company, Real Innovators, was also presenting the Tabby Tamer (about $15), an orange plastic clip like those that close the tops of potato chip bags, only this one is designed to grab the scruff of a cat’s neck and immobilize it.

　　发明者阿德里安·斯密特(Adriaan Smit)是一位住在俄勒冈州波特兰市(Portland, Ore.)的南非工程师。他之前发明过挥挥魔棒(WavyWand)，是一种可以用LED灯制造出幻光效应的人类玩具。他的公司Real Innovators还展出了Tabby Tamer(大约15美元[约合人民币93元])。这是一个橘红色的塑料夹子，就像夹在薯片包装袋顶端的那种。这件设计品是用来抓住猫咪颈背，使其停止动作的。

　　Good luck, thought this reporter. Here was a product that, like the old saw about second marriages, would seem to be a triumph of hope over experience, though Mr. Smit and his colleagues swore it had been road tested.

　　祝你好运，记者想。这样一件产品就像老一辈人眼里的二婚，似乎是以美好愿望战胜实际经验的实例。不过，斯密特和他的同事信誓旦旦地说，这件产品已经通过了应用检测。

　　Three generations of the Hamill family were presenting the adorable iFetch (about $100), an “on demand” battery-operated ball launcher. It’s made for relentless, fetch-obsessed canines; you know who they are. Clever dogs can learn to drop a small ball in the opening on top, and then the iFetch, which has an appealing, biomorphic design like a white plastic teakettle, shoots the ball out of another opening.

　　哈米尔(Hamill)家的三代人正展示着外观可爱的iFetch(大约100美元[约合人民币621元])，那是一台“十分抢手的”、以电池带动的小球发射器。这件产品是专门为百折不挠、接球成痴的犬类设计的——你懂的。聪明的狗儿能学会把小球塞进顶部的开口中，然后这台外观迷人、符合仿生学设计、长得像个白色塑料茶壶的iFetch，就会把这只球从另一边的开口中射出去。

　　Judging from the video, most dogs are driven to ecstasy by the device. It was developed, said Grant Hamill, 20, for Prancer, the family’s toy poodle, whose incessant ball dropping was making him crazy. Unfortunately, he added, “Prancer is kind of dumb, and he only likes it when Mom throws the ball.”

　　从视频资料中判断，这台设备让大多数狗儿变得很兴奋。20岁的格兰特·哈米尔(Grant Hamill)说，这件产品是为他家的玩具贵宾犬普兰瑟(Prancer)设计的。这只狗总是不停地把球衔给他，让他感到抓狂。很不幸的是，他补充说， “普兰瑟有点呆，他只喜欢由妈妈来扔球。”

　　The K-9 Kannon Mini from Hyper Pet (about $26), does require the human touch, yet its range of 75 feet would certainly buy time. Like the Fetchbee, the Kannon is made for hands-free pickup, to separate you from drool-soaked balls.

　　由Hyper Pet设计的一款迷你K-9 Kannon枪(大约26美元[约合人民币162元])就必须有人来操作了。然而，这把射程75英尺(约53米)的枪，肯定会让狗儿们跑上好一阵子。和 Fetchbee一样，Kannon枪有自动拾取设计，可以使你免于接触那些沾满口水的球。

　　Elsie Hamilton, an artist from Denver, had harvested dog hair from her miniature Australian shepherd, Lilly, to demonstrate her product, the Be Forever Furless Lilly Brush (about $20). You wonder what the baggage handlers made of her fur-filled luggage. In any case, Henry Strazza, her colleague, had taken a Zyrtec.

　　一位来自丹佛(Denver)的艺术家埃尔希·汉密尔顿(Elsie Hamilton)，已经从她的小型澳大利亚牧羊犬莉莉(Lilly)身上刷了些狗毛下来，以此证明她的狗毛刷产品Be Forever Furless Lilly Brush很实用(大约20美元[约合人民币124元])。你不禁要担心，搬运工们在运送她那只装满狗毛的行李箱时会怎么样。无论如何，她的同事亨利·斯特拉扎(Henry Strazza)已经吃过一片仙特明(Zyrtec，一种抗过敏药——译注)。

　　Ms. Hamilton, who wore a rickrack-trimmed apron that she had made herself, spread Lilly’s dark fur on a white cotton mat and then Lilly-ed it up, for three days straight. The floor of Ms. Hamilton and Mr. Strazza’s booth wore clumps of Lilly’s hair. Ms. Hamilton invented the brush a few years ago while she was recuperating from a heart attack and was forbidden to use a vacuum cleaner by doctor’s order. Lilly spent those weeks keeping Ms. Hamilton company on the sofa, shedding enthusiastically, though with love.

　　汉密尔顿穿着自己做的一条荷叶边围裙，把莉莉的黑色毛发铺在一张白色棉垫上，然后用莉莉刷将之一扫而光，如此这般刷了三天。但在汉密尔顿与斯特拉扎的那个展位的地面上，还是落着一丛丛莉莉的毛发。汉密尔顿几年前发明了这只刷子，当时她刚刚从心脏病突发中恢复，医生禁止她使用吸尘器。那几个星期里，莉莉一直在沙发上陪着她，但是脱毛脱得厉害——虽然也是爱的表达。

　　Adam Harrington, an entrepreneur from Nashville, showed off his Tuggo (about $30), a heavy plastic ball-and-rope toy that he invented after watching his two boxers exhaust themselves with a bowling ball they found in his front yard. When filled with water Tuggo weighs 20 pounds, creating enough tension for a big dog to play tug of war with itself.

　　一位来自那什维尔(Nashville)的创业者亚当·哈林顿(Adam Harrington)炫耀了他的Tuggo(大约30美元[约合人民币186元])。这是一只沉甸甸的绳与塑料球构成的玩具。当他看到自己的两条拳师犬摆弄一个在前院找到的保龄球，玩得筋疲力尽后，就发明了这件玩具。Tuggo内灌满水后重达20磅(约9公斤)，足够一只大狗在自娱自乐的拔河游戏上花些力气。

　　Mr. Harrington, who said he has a thriving business selling returns from eBay, already has 1,000 orders for his Tuggo. And “Shark Tank,” the reality television show that matches investors and entrepreneurs, had called. He was nearly vibrating with excitement.

　　哈林顿自称在eBay上的生意做得很红火，目前已经拿到了1000份Tuggo订单。而且，“鲨鱼箱”(Shark Tank)这个把创业者介绍给投资方的真人秀节目也给他打了电话。所以他最近一直处于兴奋状态。

　　Past the Brush Your Teeth Wipes (about $9) from Pet Head were the nifty Slo-Bowls (about $25 each), brightly colored hard-plastic food dishes shaped like mazes and labyrinths to stop dogs from inhaling their food, from Kyjen, a maker of dog games. “Live fast, eat slow” is the company’s slogan; bloat, the website claims, accounts for 20,000 dog deaths every year.

　　走过Pet Head开发的刷牙纸巾(Brush Your Teeth Wipes)(大约9美元[约合人民币56元])展台，就可以看见许多外观别致的“慢食碗”(Slo-Bowl，每只大约25美元[约合人民币155 元])，这是一些色彩艳丽的硬塑料食盆，内部形状像个迷宫，可以防止狗儿进食太快而被噎住。该产品来自一家宠物狗游戏产品制造商Kyjen，他们的口号是 “快速生活，缓慢进食”。据该网站称，每年会有2万条狗死于胃胀气。

　　Jennifer Vandermeer of Kyjen said: “All of our products are boredom-busters. We call the Slo-Bowl a game because dogs are really playing with their food.”

　　Kyjen公司的詹妮弗·范德米尔(Jennifer Vandermeer)说：“我们的所有产品都具有破除单调感的设计。我们称‘慢食碗’为一个游戏，因为狗儿们真的在一边吃一边玩。”

　　For truly anxious dogs, there is the Kong Anxiety-Reducing Shirt (about $35), an iteration of the ThunderShirt, a product made by another company a few years ago. Like the hug machine that Temple Grandin, the autistic scientist, invented for herself when she was a child, these shirts soothe dogs with gentle pressure, said Anna Jane Grossman, owner of School for the Dogs, a training program in Manhattan, whom I phoned after the show.

　　而Kong Anxiety-Reducing Shirt(大约35美元[约合人民币217元])则是为一些真正焦躁不安的狗儿设计的。该产品是几年前另一家公司制造的安定背心 (ThunderShirt)的替代品。正如自闭症专家坦普尔·葛兰汀(Temple Grandin)小时候为自己发明的拥抱器一样，这件上衣可以用轻微的压力来缓解狗儿的情绪，曼哈顿一个培训项目“宠物狗学堂”(School for the Dogs)的主办者安娜·简·格罗斯曼(Anna Jane Grossman)说。我在参展之后拨通了她的电话。

　　“It’s like swaddling, and they are in the category of what I call, ‘Can’t hurt, might help,’ ” Ms. Grossman said. “Particularly for dogs who are afraid of thunder. Maybe it’s the change in barometric pressure, or the static in the air. You could use an Ace bandage, or any tight shirt.”

　　“这件上衣就像襁褓一样，我将其列为‘没有伤害、或许有用’的一类物品，”格罗斯曼说，“那些害怕打雷的狗尤其适用。或许是因为大气压的变化吧，也可能因为空气中的静电。你也可以用一张爱司绷带(Ace bandage)或随便一件紧身衣。”

　　The Kong shirt is made from a stretchy black fabric and comes with a lavender sachet, in six sizes, from teacup to Rottweiler.

　　这件Kong上衣用可以拉伸的黑色布料做成，带有一个薰衣草香囊，分为6个尺寸，从茶杯贵宾犬(teacup)到罗特韦尔犬(Rottweiler)都可以穿。

　　Paw Pods also come in six sizes, from goldfish (about $10) to ones that will fit a full-size dog ($129). The pods are biodegradable burial containers thought up by Ben Riggan, who was horrified, he said, to receive the remains of his two springer spaniels in cadaver bags.

　　“宠物豆荚”(Paw Pods)也可以分为6个尺寸，最小的是装金鱼的(大约10美元[约合人民币62元])，最大的可以装下一条成年狗(大约129美元[约合人民币801 元])。这些“豆荚”是一种可以生物降解的殡葬箱，由本·里根(Ben Riggan)设计。他说，当他拿到装着自己两条史宾格犬遗体的尸体袋时，被吓了一跳。

　　He was equally horrified when he researched more-dignified containers, like wooden pet coffins that can cost hundreds of dollars.

　　他又调研了其它较为体面的容器，同样被吓了一跳。比如木制的宠物棺椁，可能要花费数百美元。

　　“We’re in Detroit,” he said. “We want to be the poster child for the thrifty pet burial.”

　　“我们在底特律，”他说，“想要引领潮流，办个简朴的宠物葬礼。”

　　Pods come with sympathy cards and wildflower seeds you can plant as a living memorial. Since fish are often a child’s first pet, Mr. Riggan said, “the fish pods are also a great way to teach your kids about death and grieving.”

　　与“豆荚”配套销售的还有慰问卡和野花种子。你可以将它们种下，作为活的纪念。既然鱼类往往是一个孩子饲养的第一种宠物，里根说，“那么金鱼豆荚也是一种非常好的途径，教你的孩子如何认识死亡和悲伤。”

　　As opposed to the old heave-ho in the toilet and the speedy purchase of a replacement fish, long a tradition in this reporter’s family, which neatly avoids the teachable moment with a dodge?

　　难道不是像本文记者家中的悠久传统那样，在洗手间里与那条旧鱼恩断义绝，然后迅速买一条新的来替代，并用躲闪的态度彻底回避掉一个教育孩子的好时机吗?

　　“We call that a burial at sea,” Mr. Riggan said.

　　“我们称之为海葬，”里根说。

　　We stopped short, gape-mouthed, at the booth of Corey Drew, a furniture designer in Savannah, Ga. There was a louche black-leather lounger topped with a sheepskin and a sleek metal, bamboo and Ultrasuede daybed with an orthopedic cushion (about $170 each). Here was the Design Within Reach of pet furniture; note the sisal-and-bamboo cat scratcher ($149) and the acacia-wood-and-stainless-steel pet bowls ($39 for a set of two).

　　我们停下脚步、张大嘴巴，站在了来自佐治亚州萨凡纳市(Savannah, Ga)一位家具设计师科里·德鲁(Corey Drew)的展位前。这里有一张不太有品味的黑色皮沙发，顶部包着一块羊皮，另有一张带光滑金属质感、包着人造麂皮的竹制躺椅，椅子上有个带矫正形体功能的垫子(每件大约170美元[约合人民币1056元])。这里是Design Within Reach品牌的宠物家具，能看到一个用西沙尔麻(sisal)与竹子制作的猫抓板(149美元[约合人民币926元])，以及用皂荚木和不锈钢做的宠物食盆(两件套共39美元[约合人民币242元])。

　　But despite our effusive compliments and the attentions of a representative from Amazon Canada, Mr. Drew was fretting. His booth’s design materials — made from white plastic and laminate, as in a high-end nightclub or Kubrick’s Milk Bar — had been fabricated in South Florida and trucked to the show. Or that was the plan. Mr. Drew said the truck had been pulled over for speeding and the driver arrested on drug charges. He would have to collect his materials from the evidence room, he said he was told by the police.

　　不过，尽管我们极尽溢美之词，甚至引起了加拿大亚马逊公司一位代表的浓厚兴趣，德鲁还是一副垂头丧气的样子。他的展台设计材料以白色塑料与层压材料制成——与高级俱乐部或库布里克乳品店(Kubrick’s Milk Bar)里用的一样，原本是在南弗罗里达州拼装，并用货车运往这个展会的。反正计划是这样。但德鲁说，这辆货车因为超速行驶被拦停在路边，货车司机受到私藏毒品的指控而被捕。他说收到了警察的通知，得从物证室取回自己那些物料。

　　“I’ll look legitimate tomorrow,” he said. “Today I look like a flea market.”

　　“我这里明天看起来会正规很多，”他说，“而今天看上去就像个跳蚤市场。”

　　This reporter would beg to differ, but an Anxiety Reducing Shirt would seem to be in order.

　　虽然本文记者对此仍持保留意见，但这个时候，来件安定背心似乎挺合适。