卡耐基演讲·五、谦虚谨慎，保持低调
在一切讲演者和听众之间的关系中，真诚是不可或缺的基本要素。诺曼·文生·皮尔曾经给另一位牧师一些关于真诚的忠告。那个牧师简直没有办法抓住他的听众的注意力进行讲道，所以诺曼·文生·皮尔要他问问自己，对每个星期天早晨都要面对的人们怀有什么样的感情——喜不喜欢他们？愿不愿意帮助他们？是不是认为自己比他们智力高出一等？皮尔博士说：“我登上讲道坛时，没有一次不是对即将面对的男男女女怀着强烈的感情。”如果讲演者自认为在智力或社会地位上高人一等，听众一听就清楚。所以，如果讲演者想得到听众的爱戴，最好采取低姿态。Of course, nothing will take the place of sincerity in this speaker-audience relationship. Norman Vincent Peale once gave some very useful advice to a fellow minister who was having great difficulty keeping the audience intent upon his sermons. He asked this minister to question his feelings about the congregation he addressed each Sunday morning-did he like them, did he want to help them, did he consider them his intellectual inferiors? Dr. Peale said that he never ascended the pulpit without feeling a strong sense of affection for the men and women he was about to face. An audience is quick in taking the measure of a speaker who assumes that he is superior in mental accomplishment or in social standing. Indeed, one of the best ways for a speaker to endear himself to an audience is to play himself down.
艾德蒙·S.穆斯基在缅因州出任参议员时，曾在波士顿的美国辩论协会的讲话中展示了这种技巧。Edmund S. Muskie, then U. S. Senator from Maine, demonstrated this when he spoke to the American Forensic Association in Boston.
“今天我被派来履行自己的职责，心里是有一些担心的，”他说，“首先，我深知你们都是专家，我现在在这里讲话不免有班门弄斧之感，在你们犀利的目光下只会暴露自己的愚蠢，不知这样是不是明智之举。第二，这是个早餐会，早晨是一个人警觉性最差的时候，如果失败，对于一位政客来说，后果是不堪设想的。第三，我的题目是：辩论对我公仆生涯的影响。由于我在政坛上的活跃，对我的选民的影响是好是坏，很可能形成尖锐的意见分歧。I approach my assignment this morning with many doubts, he said. "in the first place, I am conscious of the professional qualifications of this audience, and question the wisdom of exposing my poor talents to your critical view. In the second place, this is a breakfast meeting-an almost impossible time of day for a man to be on guard effectively; and failure in this respect can be fatal to a politician. And thirdly, there is my subject-the influence which debating has had on my career as a public servant. As long as I am active politically, there is likely to be a sharp division of opinion among my constituents as to whether that influence has been good or bad.
“面对这些担心，我感觉自己很像一只蚊子，无意间闯入了荒芜之地，简直不知从哪儿开始好。”Facing these doubts, I feel very much like the mosquito who found himself unexpectedly in a nudist colony. I don't know where to begin.
穆斯基议员就这样开始，完成了一场精彩的演讲。Senator Muskie went on, from there, to make a fine address.
亚德莱·E.史帝文生在密歇根州立大学毕业典礼的讲演，也采取了低姿态。他说：Adlai E. Stevenson played himself down at the beginning of a commencement exercise address at Michigan State University. He said:
“在这样的场合，我总是感到力不从心。我想起一次大家问撒姆尔·巴特勒该如何很好地利用生命时，他说：‘我连如何很好地利用下面的十五分钟都不知道呢。’我现在对这20分钟也有相同的感觉。”My feeling of inadequacy on these occasions brings to mind Samuel Butler's remark when he was once asked to talk about how to make the most out of life. I think his reply was: ' I don't even know how to make the most out of the next fifteen minutes.' And I feel that way about the next twenty minutes.
如果你想让听众敌视你，一个不错的方法就是你跟他们说你高高在上。当你讲演时，就如同把自己放在橱窗里展示自己，你人性中的每一面都一览无余，只要你稍稍有一点自夸，你就注定会失败了。但如果你表现得患得患失、很没有信心，那也是很糟糕的事情。你可以谦虚，但不能显得患得患失、很没有信心的模样。只要你是表示你决心要尽力讲好，当然略提一下自己才识有限，听众都是会喜欢你从而尊敬你的。The surest way to antagonize an audience is to indicate that you consider yourself to be above them. When you speak, you are in a showcase and every facet of your personality is on display. The slightest hint of braggadocio is fatal. On the other hand, modesty inspires confidence and good will. You can be modest without being apologetic. Your audience will like and respect you for suggesting your limitations as long as you show you are determined to do your best.
在美国电视业，竞争非常残酷，每一季里获得收视率最高的演员们，都要陷入更让人焦头烂额的竞争。在这里，年年能够不至于丢掉性命的演员中，都有艾德·苏利文。他是个新闻从业人员，在竞争激烈的电视圈里是个业余者。但他能够在竞争中留下来，是因为他并不把自己看得很高，他就认定自己是业余的。他在镜头前有些不自然的举动，别人可能都会使之成为一种失误，但他总让这些举动看上去是那么自然感人。他手撑下巴，弓着两肩，拉扯领带，说话结巴，这些缺陷都无损于他，人们批评他，他也不去计较。每一季，他至少要请一位模仿高手在电视里惟妙惟肖地模仿自己，并且把缺点夸大。他和别人一样，面对这些可笑的动作时哈哈大笑。他欢迎批评，观众就喜欢他这一点。观众喜欢谦逊的言行，厌恶自大的卖弄者。The world of American television is a demanding one, and every season top-rated performers fall under the withering fire of competition. One of the survivors who comes back year after year is Ed Sullivan, who is not a television professional, but a newspaper man. He is an amateur in this fiercely competitive field and he survives because he doesn't presume to be anything but an amateur. Some of his mannerisms on camera would have been handicaps for anyone with less natural appeal. He cups his chin in his hand, hunches his shoulders, tugs at his necktie, stumbles over words. But these failings are not fatal for Ed Sullivan. He doesn't resent people for criticizing these faults. At least once a season he hires the services of a talented mimic who caricaturizes him to perfection, exaggerating all his faults. Ed Sullivan laughs as unaffectedly as everyone else when this performer holds the mirror up to nature. He welcomes criticism, and audiences love him for it. Audiences like humility. They resent the show-off, the egotist.
亨利和丹纳·李·陶玛斯，在他们的《现代宗教领袖传》一书里评述孔子：“他从不去炫耀自己的知识。他只是用自己的同情心，去设法启迪他们。”我们如果能有这样包容的心胸，我们便已掌握了打开听众心扉的钥匙。Henry and Dana Lee Thomas, in their book Living Biographies of Religious Leaders, said of Confucius: "He never tried to dazzle people with his exclusive knowledge. He merely tried to enlighten them with his inclusive sympathy." If we have this inclusive sympathy, we have the key that unlocks the door to the audiences' heart.
