卡耐基演讲·五、演讲一开始就保持友好的态度

一位无神论者向威廉·巴利挑战，要巴利证明无神主张的错误。巴利非常安详地拿出表来，打开了表盒说：“如果我告诉你，这些小杆、小轮、弹簧是自己做成自己，再把自己拼凑在一起，并开始转动的，你是不是要怀疑我的智慧？当然你一定会。但是抬头瞧瞧那些星星。它们颗颗都有自己完美而特定的轨道和运行方式——地球与行星们围绕着太阳，每天在太阳的引领下以160余万公里的速度运行。那些星星颗颗都是另一个太阳，各领自己的世界，在太空里和我们的太阳系一样往前奔去，却不必担心会相互碰撞、干扰或者混乱，一切安静、有效，而且有控制。这样的现象，你相信它们是自己发生的，还是有人将它造成如此的？”An atheist once challenged William Paley to disprove his contention that there was no Supreme Being. Very quietly Paley took out his watch, opened the case, and said: if I were to tell you that those levers and wheels and springs made themselves and fitted themselves together and started running on their own account, wouldn't you question my intelligence? Of course, you would. But look up at the stars. Every one of them has its perfect appointed course and motion-the earth and planets around the sun, and the whole group pitching along at more than a million miles a day. Each star is another sun with its own group of worlds, rushing on through space like our own solar system. Yet there are no collisions, no disturbance, no confusion. All quiet, efficient, and controlled. Is it easier to believe that they just happened or that someone made them so?"

如果他一开始就反驳说：“没有神？别再像驴子般倔了，你根本不知道自己在胡说些什么。”结果会怎样？一定是引起一场咬文嚼字的大战，根本无益。那位无神论者可能会一怒而起，疯狂死命地为自己的意见而战，像只被激怒的山猫。因为就像奥佛斯锥博士说的一样，它们是他的意见，他珍贵而不可缺的自尊受了威胁，他的骄傲已岌岌可危，所以他就要反抗到底了。Suppose he had retorted to his antagonist at the outset: "No God? Don't be a silly ass. You don't know what you are talking about." What would have happened? Doubtlessly a verbal joust-a wordy war would have ensued, as futile as it was fiery. The atheist would have risen with an unholy zeal upon him to fight for his opinions with all the fury of a wildcat. Why? Because, as Professor Overstreet has pointed out, they were his opinions, and his precious, indispensable self-esteem would have been threatened; his pride would have been at stake.

骄傲既然是人性中一个基本而且容易被引燃的特性，如果聪明的话，是不是应该让一个人的骄傲为我们所用，而不是去和它作对？怎样做呢？照巴利的样子，展示给我们的对手看，让他感觉到，我们建议的与他已经相信的某些事情其实也很相似，这样就会让他容易接受，而不是拒我们于千里之外，避免相反或对立的理念在他头脑里滋生，来破坏我们的讲演。Since pride is such a fundamentally explosive characteristic of human nature, wouldn't it be the part of wisdom to get a man's pride working for us, instead of against us? How? By showing, as Paley did, that the thing we propose is very similar to something that our opponent already believes. That renders it easier for him to accept than to reject your proposal. That prevents contradictory and opposing ideas from arising in the mind to vitiate what we have said.

巴利细心地展示了他对别人的尊重，然而大多数人都缺少这种能耐，能够和对方携手进入对方信仰的城堡中。很多人错误地认为，要攻占城堡，只有对它猛轰，把它夷为平地。可这会有什么结果呢？敌意一旦产生，吊桥即刻收起，大门紧闭，身披盔甲的弓箭手拉开了长弓——头破血流的战争上场。而逞勇斗狠之后，总以平手结束，因为没有任何一方可以说服对方一丁点儿。Paley showed delicate appreciation of how the human mind functions. Most men, however, lack this subtle ability to enter the citadel of a man's beliefs arm in arm with the owner. They erroneously imagine that in order to take the citadel-they must storm it, batter it down by a frontal attack. What happens? The moment hostilities commence, the drawbridge is lifted, the great gates are slammed and bolted, the mailed archers draw their long bows-the battle of words and wounds is on. Such frays always end in a draw; neither has convinced the other of anything.

我现在推荐的这种方法其实并不新颖，它很早就被圣徒保罗所采用。他在以斯山上对雅典人做的著名演讲就使用了它——而且非常熟练，即使经过了19个世纪，我们仍然对此赞叹不已！他接受过完整的教育，改信基督后，凭借自己激情洋溢的辩才，成为基督教的主要拥护者。他来到雅典——伯里克里斯之后的雅典，已经越过了光荣的巅峰，走下坡的雅典。《圣经》中记载：“所有的雅典人和寄居该地的异乡人，都把全部时间用在传闻和打听新事物上。”This more sensible method I am advocating is not new. It was used long ago by Saint Paul. He employed it in that famous address of his to the Athenians on Mars Hill-employed it with an adroitness and finesse that compels our admiration across nineteen centuries. He was a man of finished education; and, after his conversion to Christianity, his eloquence made him its leading advocate. One day he arrived at Athens-the post-Pericles Athens, an Athens that had passed the summit of its glory and was now on the decline. The Bible says of it at this period: "All the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time in nothing else but either to tell or to hear some new thing."

在那样没有收音机，没有电报，没有通信新闻稿的时代，雅典人要在每日午后抓点新鲜事来谈论一定不容易。而保罗正是在这个时候来到这里，于是，就有了新鲜事啦！他们挤在保罗的四周，觉得好玩，又好奇又兴奋。他们把保罗带到艾罗培哥斯，对他说：“我们可不可以知道你所说的新教义是什么？因为你为我们的耳朵带来了新鲜的东西，我们想知道究竟是什么意思。”No radios, no cables, no news dispatches; those Athenians must have been hard put in those days to scratch up something fresh every afternoon. Then Paul came. Here was something new. They crowded about him, amused, curious interested. Taking him to the Aeropagus, they said, "May we know what this, new doctrine, whereof thou speakest, is? For thou bringest certain strange things to our ears: we would know therefore what these things mean."

他们这是在邀请他演讲。保罗一口答应。他正是为此才来到这里的。保罗大概是站在拍卖台上或一方石块上，像所有的演讲家一样，一开始都有点紧张，也许双手还搓了几下，开口前清了清喉咙。In other words, they invited a speech; and, nothing loath, Paul agreed. In fact, that was what he had come for. He probably stood up on a block or stone, and, being a bit nervous, as all good speakers are at the very outset, he may have given his hands a dry wash, and have cleared his throat before he began.

然而，保罗却不能完全地赞同他们的措辞：“新教义……新奇的事物”，这是可怕的东西。必须把这些概念干干净净地抛弃，否则它们就会变成是宣传相反意见的沃土。他不希望把自己的信仰当成新奇的、怪异的事情来讲。只有把自己的信仰和雅典人已经相信的事实联系起来或者作比较，才能避免异议。但是怎样开始呢？他想了一会儿，想出了很好的计划，然后展开了他千古不朽的演讲：“你们雅典人，我知道你们对一切事物都非常迷信。”However, he did not altogether approve of the way they had worded their invitation; "New doctrines ... strange things." That was poison. He must eradicate those ideas. They were fertile ground for the propagating of contradictory and clashing opinions. He did not wish to present his faith as something strange and alien. He wanted to tie it up to, liken it to, something they already believed. That would smother dissenting suggestions. But how? He thought a moment; hit upon a brilliant plan; he began his immortal address: "Ye men of Athens, I perceive that in all things ye are very superstitious."

有些译本为：“你们非常具有宗教热诚。”我认为这样好一点，更准确一些。雅典人信奉多神，非常热诚虔敬，以此为荣。先称赞他们，让他们喜欢，他们就会对他感到亲切。在讲演里还有一条法则，即要用例证支持论述，保罗就这么干了：Some translations read, "Ye are very religious."I think that is better, more accurate. They worshipped many gods; they were very religious. They were proud of it. He complimented them, pleased them. They began to warm toward him. One of the rules of the art of effective speaking is to support a statement by an illustration. He does just that:

“当我路过这里，发现了你们的虔诚。我看到一处神坛，上面写着‘献给不知名的神’。”你瞧，这就证明了他们的虔诚。他们很害怕会忽略了任何一位神，竟然建立神坛献给不知名的神。这有点像多项目的保险，对一切没有察觉到的疏忽与无意的遗漏提供保险。保罗提到这特别的神坛，就指出自己不是在奉承，而是说明自己的评论是观察后的真心赞赏。For, as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, TO THE UNKNOWN GOD.That proves, you see, that they were very religious. They were so afraid of slighting one of the deities that they had put up an altar to the unknown God, a sort of blanket insurance policy to provide against all unconscious slights and unintentional oversights. Paul, by mentioning this specific altar, indicated that he was not dealing in flattery; he showed that his remark was a genuine appreciation born of observation.

这样就可以有一个再合适不过的开场了：“你们一无所知但崇拜的神，我将把他宣告给你们。”Now, here comes the consummate rightness of this opening: "Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you."

“新教义……新奇的事物？”他只字未提。他只是解释有关一位神的一些事实，而这位神他们早就信奉但还不了解。你看，保罗把他们本不相信的事情和他们已经狂热接受的相联系——这便是他高超的技巧。New doctrine ... strange things? Not a bit of it. He was there merely to explain a few truths about a God they were already worshipping without being conscious of it. Likening the things they did not believe, you see, to something they already passionately accepted-such was his superb technique.

他宣讲自己救赎与复活的教义，引述了希腊人自己的一位诗人的一些诗句，这样他就结束了。有人嘲笑他，但其他的人却说：“我们还想听听你讲的事。”He pronounced his doctrine of salvation and resurrection, quoted a few words from one of their own Greek poets; and he was done. Some of his hearers mocked, but others said, "We will hear thee again on this matter."

在说服他人使得印象深刻的演讲中，我们的问题只是：如果一味地想把自己的理念灌进听众的心里，只会让相反或对立的理念不断地滋生。长于此道的人，说起话来魅力无穷，深深影响着他人。这就是我另外一本书《人性的弱点》里讲的法则可以派上用场的地方。Our problem in making a talk to convince or impress others is just this: to plant the idea in their minds and to keep contradicting and opposing ideas from arising. He who is skilled in doing that has power in speaking and influencing others. Here is precisely where the rules in my book How to Win Friends and Influence People will be helpful.

几乎在每天的生活当中，你都可能遇到和你意见不同的人而进行谈论。你难道不是经常需要在家里、在办公室里、在各式各样的社交场合里赢得人心，让他们和你的思想一致吗？想想你的方法有没有需要改进的地方呢？你是怎样开始的？有没有使用林肯和马克米兰的智慧？如果你的回答是肯定的，那你真是一位少有的外交人才，一位心思缜密的高手。记住伍卓·威尔森的话吧：“如果你对我说：‘我们坐下来谈谈吧。如果我们的意见不合，那就让我们了解彼此的原因，看看究竟存在了什么问题。’我们马上就会感到其实彼此没有距离，感觉我们分歧很少，而共同点倒很多。而且会发现，只要我们有耐心、有诚意，有彼此沟通的希冀，我们就终会沟通。”Almost every day of your life you are talking to people who differ from you on some subject under discussion. Aren't you constantly trying to win people to your way of thinking, at home, in the office, in social situations of all kinds? Is there room for improvement in your methods? How do you begin? By showing Lincoln's tact and Macmillan's? If so, you are a person of rare diplomacy and extraordinary discretion. It is well to remember Woodrow Wilson's words, "If you come to me and say, 'Let us sit down and take counsel together, and, if we differ from one another, understand why it is that we differ from one another, just what the points at issue are,' we will presently find that we are not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the points on which we agree are many, and that if we only have the patience and the candor and the desire to get together, we will get together."