外国人最想和你聊的时事话题：礼尚往来
- 双语介绍
- 关键词句
What is the exchange of gifts 什么是礼尚往来
In the social sciences, a gift economy (or gift culture) is a society where valuable goods and services are regularly given without any explicit agreement for immediate or future rewards (i.e. no formal quid pro quo exists). Ideally, simultaneous or recurring giving serves to circulate and redistribute valuables within the community. The organization of a gift economy stands in contrast to a barter economy or a market economy. Informal custom governs exchanges, rather than an explicit exchange of goods or services for money or some other commodity.
Various social theories concerning gift economies exist. Some consider the gifts to be a form of reciprocal altruism. Another interpretation is that social status is awarded in return for the gifts. Consider for example, the sharing of food in some hunter-gatherer societies, where food-sharing is a safeguard against the failure of any individual's daily foraging. This custom may reflect concern for the well-being of others, it may be a form of informal insurance, or may bring with it social status or other benefits. Because of the (future) benefit that is received from these actions, gift economies are still based upon trade, but without explicit returns from exchanges.
A gift economy normally requires the gift exchange to be more than simply a back-and-forth between two individuals. This notion of expanding the circle can also be seen in societies where hunters give animals to priests, who sacrifice a portion to a deity (who, in turn, is expected to provide an abundant hunt). The hunters do not directly sacrifice to the deity themselves.
Many societies have strong prohibitions against turning gifts into trade or capital goods.
Additionally, in some kinds of gift economies, gift recipients are expected to give something in return, such as political support, military services and general loyalty, or even return gifts and favors. This was common in warrior societies where kings and chieftains gave freely to their followers and could expect their loyal service in return. Such systems have social sanctions built in to punish freeloaders or miserly chiefs. A default punishment would be to halt gifts or services from one party to the alleged party in wrong. Typical sanctions might also include a bad reputation, formal eviction from the lord's hall, a challenge to a duel, or public ridicule.
礼尚往来（the exchange of gifts）是指互通有无（mutual exchange of needed products），在礼节（courtesy）上重视有来有往，现也指以同样的态度来对待对方。"尚 "意为注重。
与"礼尚往来"相关的故事：春秋时期(the Spring and Autumn Period)，孔子(Confucius)在家收弟子开坛讲学(give lectures)，引起了鲁定公的重视，经常到宫中讲学。季府的总管(general director)阳虎特地去看望孔子，孔子借故不见他。他知道孔子最讲究礼尚往来的，一次，特地给孔子留下一只烤乳猪，终于得到孔子的回访。
礼作为一种社会行为(social behavior)的规范，倡导了人与人之间的交往，而以礼的方式来交往，便会增进人情，增进社会的凝聚(cohesive force)。所以，礼物是一种以礼行为的规范物，目的是为了社会的整合。在送礼这样的日常行为中，人际行为就被社会规范化(standardization)了，不会送礼，变成了不会做人，最后形成好像是只讲人情(human relationship)的文化。当礼品不是自然真情的容器，反倒成了应有之情的容器时，就会变得包装精美，腹中空空。
Naturally, there should be mutual concession and there should be reciprocity.
自然，双方都要作些让步，并且要礼尚往来。
Mere friendly politeness required that he should call to see Dorothea about the cottages.
单单从礼尚往来说，他也应该为村舍的事找一下多萝西娅。
As for Michaelis, he was perfect, exactly the same melancholic, attentive, aloof young fellow of the previous evening, millions of degrees remote from his hosts, but laconically playing up to them to the required amount, and never coming forth to them for a moment.
至于蔑克里斯呢，他毫不露出破绽，完全和昨天晚上一样，忧郁，专心而又冷漠，和主人主妇像远隔得几百万里路似的，只和他们礼尚往来着，却不愿自献殷勤。
We gave the Smiths a bottle of gin last Christmas, so this year they gave us a bottle of Scotch to even things up a bit.
去年圣诞节我们送给史密斯家一瓶杜松子酒，今年他们礼尚往来，给我们送了一瓶苏格兰威士忌酒。
Courtesy on one side only lasts not long.
单方面的礼貌不会持久。
Their frequent invitation places us under an obligation to invite them to our house for a change.
他们经常邀请我们，我们只好礼尚往来邀请他们到我们家。
Propriety suggests reciprocity. It is not propriety not to give out but to receive, or vice versa.
礼尚往来。往而不来，非礼也；来而不往，亦非礼也。
The exchange of gifts is a traditional Chinese thought, which is carried on till now.
礼尚往来是中国的一种传统思想，这种思想一直沿袭至今。
The traditional meaning of exchanging of gifts has changed in modern society.
礼尚往来的意思在现代已经发生了变化。
Mary refused to tell Taylor the reason, as the Chinese saying goes, Taylor won't tell Mary the way to settle down the issue.
玛丽不告诉泰勒事情的原因，礼尚往来，泰勒也不会告诉玛丽解决问题的方法。
During holidays, we always receive lots of blessing short messages from our friends, and we'll reply these messages in return.
过节的时候经常会受到很多朋友的祝福短信，礼尚往来我们也会回复他们。
Many foreigners regard the Chinese traditional culture of exchanging of gifts as strange behavior.
很多外国朋友认为中国礼尚往来的习俗很奇怪。
In Chinese point of view, exchange of gifts show the mutual respect and adoration among people.
在中国人看来，礼尚往来表现了人们之间的相互尊重和喜爱。
Part 3 Let's Talk！ 开始交流吧！
Collins: This is the first time I've been in China, and everything here fascinated me. But there is something I can never figure out!
科林斯：这是我第一次来中国，这里的许多事情都令我非常着迷。但是有些事我搞不明白。
Wang Yang: What's wrong? Did anything puzzle you, speak it up and see if I can help you out.
王洋：怎么了？有什么让你感到困惑，说出来看看我能不能帮你。
Collins: Good! You turn up so timely! I am just expecting some good explanation. You know the other day one of my Chinese friends was celebrating his birthday so I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? "No, no! Don't give me anything. Don't be polite!" can you believe it?
科林斯：太好了！你的出现太及时了！我正想寻找一些好的解释呢。有一天我的中国朋友庆祝他的生日，所以我就问他喜欢什么样的生日礼物。你知道他说什么吗？"不不，不要给我买任何东西，不要那么客气！"你相信吗？
Wang Yang: Actually, I can well believe it. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. But most often the speaker doesn't really mean refusal unless he firmly insists. Chinese people don't easily accept the given things only when he has contributed to the giver or there is an intimacy. And they don't want their friends "pofei" which means to spend money. Or maybe he refuses you just because he doesn't want to buy your gift in return.
王洋：说实话我相信。这是中国人表达谦逊和保守的方式。但是大部分人并不是真的拒绝，除非强烈地坚持。中国人通常不会轻易接受别人给予的东西，除非他为送礼的人做过事情或者关系十分亲密。他们不希望他们的朋友"破费"，意思是花钱。又或者他们拒绝你仅仅是因为不想礼尚往来。
Collins: What did he mean by refusing to accept a present from me then?
科林斯：你说的拒绝接受我的礼物是什么意思？
Wang Yang: I don't think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being "polite". He didn't mean to be rude and certainly he didn't mean to offend you.
王洋：我认为他不是真的拒绝接受你的礼物。只是表示礼貌的一种方式。他并不是无礼更不会有意冒犯你。
Collins: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?
科林斯：那么，你怎么认为呢？你觉得在这种情况下我应该怎么说或怎么做呢？
Wang Yang: In such a situation I suggest you just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. Or you can buy him a gift directly without asking him. I think he will be satisfied with whatever you buy him.
王洋：在这种情况下我建议你坚持，如果你的朋友年纪较大，你可能需要坚持多次，但即使是这样或许你也不会得到明确的答复。或许你可以直接买个礼物而不和他说。我认为他对于你买的任何礼物都会很满意。
Collins: So you mean buying a gift is a good choice than not, right?
科林斯：所以你的意思是只要买了礼物就好，对吗？
Wang Yang: I think so.
王洋：我是这么认为的。
Collins: But what shall I do if he doesn't like exchange of gift?
科林斯：但是如果他不想礼尚往来我该怎么办呢？
Wang Yang: In that case, you should not send him gift, or it will become a burden for him.
王洋：如果是这种情况，你就不要送他礼物，否则就会成为他的负担。
Collins: I know, thank you.
科林斯：我知道了，谢谢。
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