欲望都市第五季 十万火急 Critical Condition

[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:45:32 [00:02.00]听美剧学英语(MP3+LRC) [00:11.64]欲望城市 [00:36.00](性爱专家凯莉布雷萧 并且勇于发问) [00:44.64]“十万火急” [00:50.72]In the Iife of a New Yorker... 纽约客的每一天 必须面对许多令人不快的事 [00:51.80]there are severaI unpIeasant things one wiII inevitabIy have to face.: [00:56.08]having your purse stoIen, random pubIic urination... 皮包被偷 不小心看到别人随地大小便 [01:02.76]and seeing a gay friend's boyfriend in a Broadway revue. 在百老汇歌舞剧中 看到男同性恋友人的男朋友 [01:09.84]l think l understand the three-drink minimum now. -我知道最低消费额是三杯 -你不喜欢这出戏吗? [01:11.92]You're not enjoying the revue? [01:13.40]Frankly, l'm more concerned about my own review in the Times. 我比较担心我的纽约时报书评 [01:16.16]Oh, my God, right, your book's reviewed this week. 你的书这星期要做书评 你一定很兴奋 [01:20.28]-You must be so excited. -More like terrified. 应该说害怕才对 [01:24.36]Michiko Kakutani. 蜜奇可卡库塔妮 她是纽约时报的书评 [01:27.12]She's the Times' book critic. 我还以为那是开胃菜的名称 [01:27.80]l thought you were suggesting an appetizer. [01:30.72]-She's brilliant, and she's really tough. -And impossible to pronounce. -她既聪明又难缠 -连名字都很难念 [01:35.64]l think they're bringing us home. 我想我们可以回家了 [01:38.96]How could you not love this? Look at my boyfriend. 你怎么会不喜欢这出戏? 我男朋友帅呆了 [01:41.84]He's gorgeous. [01:43.12]And he can kick. 他踢腿的动作很漂亮 [01:49.28]Bravo! 太棒了 [01:55.56]Thank you. My boys Marcus Adante.... [01:58.52]lsn't he great? He's great, don't you think? 他真的很棒吧? [02:00.04]-l have to go to the ladies' room. -Now? They're gonna do an encore. 我要上洗手间 [02:02.88]他们要做安可表演了 [02:04.08]l have to go to the ladies' room. 我非去不可 [02:08.40]Broadway's best.: Debbie Cass. 百老汇最棒的演员是黛比凯丝 [02:11.56]Who would have thought the phrase, ''Go see your cousin Debbie's club act''... 谁想得到这句广告词 “到俱乐部看黛比表妹表演” [02:14.12]could contain such horror? 那么地令人害怕呢? [02:16.12]l thought there'd be at least one straight guy here. 我还以为可以遇见异性恋男人 [02:19.52]l mean, if not in the audience, then at least behind the bar. 就算在观众席里找不到 在酒吧里应该也有吧 [02:26.28]Hold on, 'cause tomorrow... 等一下，明天我们 [02:29.64]we're gonna cruise the cute pretzel guys at the Village Square Market. 要到广场村 找那些卖咸味脆饼的大帅哥 [02:32.12]ls that as sad as that just sounded? 听起来很可悲吧? [02:34.100]lf it makes you feel any better, l had a thing for the Amish guys... 我以前很喜欢 制做梳子的阿曼派人 [02:39.48]who make hairbrushes. [02:42.56]没错 [02:44.24]Hi, you're Carrie Bradshaw. -你是凯莉布雷萧 -没错，我们认识吗? [02:47.96]Yeah, have we met? [02:49.84]l recognized you from your column. -我看过你的专栏 -太棒了 [02:53.92]And l went out with Aidan right after you. 你跟艾登分手后 我跟他开始交往 [03:01.28]There I was, worried about the New York Times... 我担心“纽约时报”的书评 [03:04.12]when apparentIy I'd aIready been reviewed. 但事实上大家已经批评过我了 [03:07.52]l'm telling you, it was a hit-and-run. No, it was a face-and-run. 我承认那是打带跑 不，应该说见了面就跑 [03:11.48]Make it again. 再说一次 [03:14.60]Yeah, that ain't good. -那真的是不太妙 -你太敏感了 [03:14.88]l think you're being oversensitive, and it was a facial spasm or something. [03:16.08]那是脸部抽筋，很多人都有过 就跟颜面神经痳痹一样 [03:18.52]A lot of people have them, like Bell's palsy. [03:22.00]No, it was not Bell's palsy. 那不是颜面神经痳痹 她用她的表情表达对我的不屑 [03:25.04]lt was a full-frontal attack of the face like: [03:27.32]''Wow, was he messed up. You really screwed him up good.'' 就像是“他真的很惨 你把他害得惨兮兮的” [03:33.64]What did you say to her? 你跟她说了什么? [03:33.08]l didn't have time to say anything. She just ran out of the bathroom. 我一句话都没说，她转身就走 [03:37.84]Fuck that fucking face girl. -该死的抽筋女郎 -你什么时候会那样子… [03:40.52]-Well, when you put it like that.... -l'm sorry. [03:42.48]l haven't slept for days. Brady's been crying non-stop. 我好几天没睡 布莱迪一直哭个不停 [03:44.100]-You poor thing. Can l do anything? -Put me out of my misery. -好可怜，我帮得上忙吗? -救我离开痛苦的深渊吧 [03:50.68]What's wrong with him? ls he sick? 他病了吗? [03:50.64]No, he's not sick. 他没病，也不饿 他还没有长牙，只是想哭 [03:52.36]He's not hungry, he's not teething, he just wants to scream. [03:56.60]l'm doing everything l can, but l can't please him. 我哄不了他，如果他是 35岁的男人，我们已经分手了 [03:60.72]lf he was 35, this is when we would break up. [04:02.28]-He has issues, clearly. -l'm telling you... 他一定有什么话想说 [04:05.60]this 13-pound meatloaf is pushing me over the edge. 这个十三磅重的烤肉饼 快把我逼疯了，我觉得好恶心 [04:08.48]l feel disgusting. All of my clothes smell like barf. 我的衣服 闻起来跟呕吐物差不多 [04:10.24]l don't have time to shower, much less get a haircut. 我没时间洗澡 更别提剪头发了 [04:12.20]That reminds me, l have to confirm my appointment... 那倒是提醒了我，我该确认 约翰曼帝发廊的预约时间 [04:16.12]with John Mandy at the John Mandy Salon. [04:20.80]You have no idea how hard it was to get this appointment. 你们不知道 要跟他们约时间有多难 [04:24.24]Hi, it's Samantha Jones. 我是莎曼珊琼斯 我想确认星期六的预约时间 [04:26.52]l'm calling to confirm my appointment Saturday... [04:28.32]for a cut-and-color with John. 我要请约翰帮我剪发跟染发 谢谢 [04:31.52]Thanks. [04:31.92]Crisis averted. 危机解除 [04:37.16]Magda is waiting for me. Time to go back to prison. 梅格在等我，我该回监狱去了 [04:39.08]-Let me come with you. l can help. -You don't have to do that. -我跟你一起走，我可以帮你 -你不必那么做 [04:42.64]No, it's okay. Actually, l have a few questions... 我有一些问题 星期一我要见我的离婚律师 [04:45.72]because l'm meeting with the divorce lawyer on Monday. [04:46.84]Ask him if l could get an injunction to stop a face. 问他我可不可以申请禁制令 [04:50.48]-Who did you get? -Matthew Bloom of Bloom & Goldenblatt. 你找哪位律师? [04:52.20]布葛律师事务所的马修布鲁明 [04:54.36]-What's he like? -He's smart, he's tough. -他是什么样的人? -他既聪明又难缠 [04:58.44]But is he tough enough to beat Bunny to a pulp? 他难缠到可以痛扁邦妮吗? [05:03.84]-Yeah. -Good. -没问题 -太棒了 [05:05.00]Okay, great. Bye, guys. Have a nice day. 好了，大家再见 祝你们有愉快的一天 [05:09.48]Miranda, call me if you need anything. 米兰达，需要帮忙的话 打电话给我 [05:12.96]Damn! Why is that girl still bothering me? 该死，为什么那个女孩 还深深地困扰着我? [05:16.56]Honey, you have to let it go. 忘了她吧，如果我担心 每个臭女人对我的评语 [05:16.96]lf l worried what every bitch in New York said about me... [05:21.80]l'd never leave the house. 我永远都没办法出门 [05:24.80]EarIy Monday morning, CharIotte met with her Iawyer. 星期一早上 夏绿蒂跟她的律师见面 [05:27.40]He was smart, tough, and gorgeous. 他既聪明又难缠，而且还很帅 [05:28.88]You said you had some bad feelings about your mother-in-law, Bunny MacDougal. 你说你对你婆婆 邦妮麦克道格很感冒 [05:33.72]Did l? 我说过吗? [05:37.20]l get a sense from her lawyer this is going to be a bit of a battle. 跟她的律师接触过后 我觉得这会是一场硬仗 [05:40.28]It was a battIe, aII right. The battIe of the CharIottes. 这的确是一场硬仗 夏绿蒂的内心在交战 [05:44.76]The CharIotte who wanted to seem attractive to her adorabIe Iawyer... 想要吸引英俊律师的夏绿蒂 [05:48.24]and the CharIotte who wanted to kick Bunny MacDougaI's ass. 跟想要痛扁 邦妮麦克道格的夏绿蒂在交战 [05:49.56]lt looks to me that Mrs. MacDougal has been very busy hiding assets... 麦克道格太太 一直在隐藏她的财产 [05:55.52]to make sure you don't get anything. 以确保你什么东西都拿不到 [05:59.60]l just really want what was promised. l want my apartment. 我真的只想拿我该拿的东西 我只要我的公寓 [06:04.16]Technically, it's not your apartment. Trey's family owns it. 技术上来说，它不是你的 崔的家族拥有它 [06:08.76]She was very careful to ensure your name was not on the deed. 她很小心地确保 房契上没有你的名字 [06:11.12]What? Trey gave me that apartment. 崔给了我那间公寓 抱歉，通常我都是很优雅的 [06:12.92]Sorry. Usually, l'm a very refined person. [06:17.80]With your husband out of the country, l'm gonna need you to be more specific. 因为你丈夫不在国内 你应该更详细地说出你的需求 [06:20.76]CharIotte reaIized she couId never be as ugIy as she needed to be... 夏绿蒂了解她永远 不可能摆出恶婆娘的样子 [06:25.36]in front of a man she considered so handsome. 特别是在大帅哥面前 [06:28.32]Sorry to bust in. There's a bagel here with my name on it. 抱歉打扰你们了 这个贝果应该是我的 [06:31.32]My partner, Harry Goldenblatt. 哈利葛登布拉特，夏绿蒂约克 我负责她的离婚案 [06:31.88]Harry, Charlotte York. l'm handling her divorce. [06:36.68]How you doing? You're in the right hands here. 你好吗?你真的是找对人了 [06:39.12]He's a killer. 他是个杀手 [06:44.84]Who the hell ordered blueberry bagels? 谁订了蓝莓口味的? 我该跟希尔玛谈谈此事 [06:47.60]l'm talking to Thelma about this. Good luck to you. [06:47.12]祝你好运 [06:54.08]ls he a killer, too? 他也是个杀手吗? [06:54.04]And just Iike that, CharIotte changed Iawyers. 于是夏绿蒂换了律师 [07:02.48]After a grueIing day, which incIuded Ieg, eyebrow, and bikini waxes... 在累了一天 除了脚毛、眉毛跟耻毛后 [07:07.20]Samantha decided to reward herseIf with a night of R and R. 莎曼珊决定好好睡一觉 奖赏自己一下 [07:17.52]UnfortunateIy, her favorite vibrator needed a IittIe CPR. 不幸的是她最喜欢的按摩棒 需要急救一下 [07:37.60]Brady, please. What? 布莱迪，求求你，什么? 我不知道你在想什么 [07:41.20]l cannot read your mind. [07:53.80]-Who is it? -4-D. -谁? -我是四楼的住户 [07:56.40]-lt's 2:30 in the morning. -l know. 现在是凌晨两点半 [08:01.88]-l'm sorry. -You gotta stop that baby from crying. -我知道，对不起 -你该哄宝宝别哭了 [08:03.12]l said l was sorry, but l have a baby... 我说过对不起了，我家有宝宝 有时候宝宝会哭闹不停 [08:07.04]and sometimes babies make noise. That's what they do. [08:09.28]l know that. l have a baby, too. 我知道，我家也有宝宝 [08:11.68]And if you ever bothered to say hello in the elevator, you'd know that. 如果你愿意跟我打交道 你应该很清楚这一点 [08:15.28]l'm Kendall, my baby is Alika. Have a nice night. 我是卡妲儿，我女儿叫艾丽卡 祝你有愉快的一晚 [08:21.96]EvidentIy, Miranda had been getting bad reviews from inside her own buiIding. 很明显地 米兰达的邻居对她很不爽 [08:26.60]As for my review, I guess I was pretty nervous. 至于我的书评，我觉得很紧张 [08:27.00]-Times. -Thank you. -纽约时报 -谢谢你 [08:30.00]I hadn't been up this earIy since Princess Diana's wedding. 自从黛安娜王妃的婚礼后 我没有这么早起床过 [08:36.16]Good morning. 早安 [08:41.12]''All in all, l enjoyed spending time... “总而言之我喜欢布雷萧小姐 尖锐有趣的精致世界” [08:45.52]''in Ms. Bradshaw's sharp, funny, finely-drawn world... [08:47.20]''where single women rule, and the men are disposable.'' “在这个世界里女人主宰一切 男人跟垃圾一样”，天啊 [08:52.36]Ouch! 我相信 纽约时报对你是佳评如潮 [08:54.52]l believe what you have there is a rave review from the New York Times. [09:01.32]''The men are disposable''? “男人是垃圾”? 我没有把男人当垃圾吧? [09:02.20]-l don't dispose of men, do l? -No. [09:05.24]Michiko Kakutani thinks so, and l always agree with her. -没有 -蜜奇可卡库塔妮是那么想的 [09:09.16]Fuck Michiko Kakutani. -我一直都赞同她的想法 -去她的 [09:11.72]-No sleep again? -Actually, it was a good night. -你又没睡了? -昨晚我睡得很好 [09:16.24]l got a whole hour. 我睡了整整一小时 [09:17.92]l can't believe l have to go and pretend to be a lawyer now. 我不敢相信 现在我必须假装自己是个律师 [09:22.04]-Can l wear a baseball cap to work? -With what shoes? -我能戴棒球帽去上班吗? -你要配哪双鞋子? [09:26.56]My God, listen to me going on and on about Michiko Kakutani... 我会反驳蜜奇可卡库塔妮 [09:29.72]when you have reaI probIems. 如果你真的想告她 [09:32.52]So can l obsess for another minute? 我能再跟你谈谈吗? [09:33.48]Just don't say her name again. 别说出她的名字 那会把我逼疯 [09:34.16]lt'll push me over the edge. [09:37.28]So, yes, some of the men in the book are maybe a little disposable... 书里有些男人或许是垃圾 [09:42.04]but this makes it sound like l think men are disposable in life. 但她的说法让大家以为 我把我生命里所有男人当垃圾 [09:47.32]What? What's with the pause? -什么?你怎么不说话? -抱歉，我刚刚睡着了 [09:49.68]l'm sorry. l fell asleep for a second. [09:51.20]That's a terrible thing to think about me. 这件事光想起来就觉得很可怕 [09:54.88]Oh, my God, that's what the face meant. 所以她才会摆出那种表情 [09:60.04]Do you think that Aidan thinks that l think he was disposable? 你认为艾登觉得 我把他当垃圾看待吗? [10:01.12]Carrie, you did not throw Aidan away. 你没有抛弃艾登 [10:06.72]Good morning. 早安 [10:07.28]That girI thinks I did. He must have said something Iike that to her. 那个女孩认为我抛弃了艾登 他一定跟她说了什么 [10:09.80]Where eIse wouId she get it? 不然她怎么会那么想呢? [10:14.08]Steve and Aidan are close. Has Steve ever said anything to you? 史蒂夫跟艾登走得很近 他说过什么吗?他恨我吗? [10:17.24]-Does Steve hate me now? -Carrie, you're spinning. 你在乱想，他不恨你 [10:19.12]-Steve doesn't hate you. -Then how come l never see him anymore? 为什么我从来没见过他? [10:23.72]You never see him because l have to keep him away. 因为我不想让他接近我 [10:27.00]Because if l see him now, l'll ask him to marry me... 我一见到他就想请他娶我 要他来帮我忙 [10:29.44]just to give me some help. [10:30.88]l worked very hard at taking care of Aidan's feelings. 我很在乎艾登的感觉 你一定要告诉史蒂夫 [10:34.32]Will you mention that to Steve? [10:35.12]-Because if Aidan toId Steve-- -Carrie, you know what? -如果艾登跟史蒂夫说… -你知道吗? [10:40.52]Maybe you shouId caII your girIfriend Samantha. 或许你该打电话给莎曼珊 [10:41.40]She has all kinds of time to talk about this kind of stuff. 她有的是时间跟你谈这种事 [10:45.76]l know it's me... 我知道这是我的问题 我很嫉妒她有那么多闲工夫 [10:49.36]and l'm jealous of her free time and all... [10:49.44]but if she could maybe just once acknowledge the fact that l've had a baby.... 真希望她能够了解我有孩子 [11:03.96]lt's not enough l've alienated my neighbor. 我跟邻居疏远还不够 [11:05.64]Now I'm aIienating my friends. -现在我跟朋友也很疏远 -你没有跟任何人疏远 [11:07.64]You're not alienating anyone. [11:08.32]Tell that to 4-D. She's pissed off l don't know her name. 去跟四楼说吧，她真的很生气 我不知道她叫什么名字 [11:10.64]-Do you know your neighbors' names? -Please. -你认识你的邻居吗? -拜托 [11:14.20]l'm a bad neighbor and a bad mother. -我是个恶邻居跟坏妈妈 -才不是，你做得很好 [11:17.56]-That's not true. You're doing great. -Yeah, right. [11:19.44]-是 -你只是这星期过得不顺 [11:21.44]You're just having a bad week. [11:24.12]Can l do anything to help? -有什么需要我帮忙的吗? -你的关心就帮了我很大的忙 [11:25.72]That helps, just asking. [11:30.68]l'm late. l gotta go. 我要迟到了，我要挂电话了 关于书评的事恭喜你了 [11:31.60]CongratuIations on the review. [11:33.88]谢谢 [11:41.12]Why is it that we onIy seem to beIieve the negative things peopIe say about us... 为什么我们只相信 别人对我们说的那些坏话? [11:48.20]no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary? 不论有多少的证据 证明他们的话是错的 [11:51.48]A neighbor, a face, an ex-boyfriend... 不论是邻居、路人或是前男友 [11:54.48]can canceI out everything we thought was once true. 都能抹杀掉我们相信的一切 [11:56.52]Odd, but when it comes to Iife and Iove... 说到生活跟爱，为什么 我们都相信最糟糕的那一面? [11:59.80]why do we beIieve our worst reviews? [12:08.40]After a Iong day in court, Miranda faced another jury. 在法院度过漫长的一天后 米兰达还要面对另一个陪审团 [12:16.12]Don't cry. 别哭 [12:41.96]And at City Bakery, Samantha and I were reviewing the desserts. 在城市面包坊 莎曼珊跟我在评论甜点 [12:44.76]Delish. 好好吃…如果你愿意帮我忙 我请你吃甜点 [12:46.44]l'll buy you dessert if you do something for me. [12:49.52]-l'm not eating desserts this week. -Come on, best brownies in New York. -我这星期不吃甜点 -全纽约最棒的布朗尼蛋糕 [12:54.28]Bastard. 混蛋 [12:56.16]l'll take a brownie. 我要一块布朗尼蛋糕 [12:57.88]-What do you need me to do? -lt's about Miranda and the baby. -你要什么? -我想谈米兰达跟宝宝的事 [13:02.36]-Forget the brownie. -No, she'll take the brownie. -我不要布朗尼蛋糕 -不，她会要的 [13:04.12]Babies are not my scene. 我对宝宝的事不拿手 [13:07.84]And from what l've heard, this one sounds like an asshole. 这个宝宝似乎是个混蛋 [13:10.72]-You can't call a baby an asshole. -Why not? She called it a meatloaf. -你不能骂宝宝是混蛋 -她叫他烤肉饼 [13:16.80]l don't think it would kill all of us to be a little more supportive. 我想支持一下米兰达 要不了我们的命 [13:20.56]All right. 好吧，他念大学时 我会带他出去喝一杯 [13:21.24]When he's in college, l'll take him for a drink and flirt with his friends. How's that? [13:22.20]跟他的朋友们打情骂俏 [13:26.20]Maybe you could just stop by tomorrow and say: 你明天该过去跟她问候 “听说你生孩子，还好吧?” [13:28.68]''l hear you had a baby. How's that going?'' [13:31.60]l have no time. l'm booked all day. 我没时间 我整天的行程排得满满的 [13:35.36]l have my hair appointment, and l'm returning a vibrator before that. 我跟发型设计师约好了 还要去退还按摩棒 [13:38.32]Hair and a vibrator? 弄头发跟按摩棒 [13:38.100]Yes, that is my life, and l don't have to justify it. 对，那就是我的生活 我不必为此辩解 [13:44.08]l hate it when people have babies... 我讨厌人一旦有孩子 [13:45.80]and they suddenly expect you turn into a Norman Rockwell painting. 就期待你变得 跟诺曼罗克韦尔画中人物一样 [13:50.96]We're not talking about people, we're talking about our friend. 米兰达不是别人 [13:52.96]And she's sinking. 她是我们的朋友，她快疯了 [13:55.52]What, so, Miranda's like Venice? 米兰达喜欢威尼斯? [13:59.52]That'll be $1 4.20. 一共是十四块两角 [14:01.56]She's paying for the brownie. 布朗尼蛋糕算她的 [14:04.56]凯莉 [14:06.96]你也来了，茱丽雅 [14:10.92]Julia, hi. [14:12.44]This is my friend Samantha. This is Julia Afton. 这位是莎曼珊，茱丽雅亚佛顿 我们是时尚杂志的同事 [14:15.80]We work together at Vogue. [14:17.68]Hardly. She gets to run in and out once a month... 她一个月只进办公室一次 我要跟安娜温托周旋到底 [14:18.52]while l'm chained to the hem of Anna Wintour. [14:21.36]-There's my friend. Nina. -l'm here. -我的朋友妮娜来了 -我在这里 [14:26.04]-lt is about time. -Sorry l'm late. -你也该到了 -抱歉我迟到了 [14:30.00]Carrie, hi. 凯莉，你好 [14:34.72]There I was, face to face with the face girI. 我又跟那个给我脸色看的女人 面对面 [14:37.00]-How do you two know each other? -l'll tell you over lunch. -你们怎么会认识? -吃完午餐后我再告诉你 [14:39.64]Nina Katz, hi. Samantha Jones. -妮娜凯兹，莎曼珊琼斯 -很高兴能再见到你 [14:41.04]Hi, nice to see you again. [14:46.36]-Can we eat? l'm starvation central. -Okey-dokey. See you. 我们可以吃饭了吗? 我快饿死了 [14:50.92]Bye, Carrie. -再见 -再见，凯莉 [14:52.60]How do you know Nina Katz? -你怎么会认识妮娜凯兹? -你怎么认识他? [14:52.88]How do you know Nina Katz? [14:56.08]Everybody knows Nina Katz. She's the booker for Saturday Night Live. 大家都认识她，她是 “周末夜现场”的节目制作 [14:58.24]-She's also the face girl. -No! -就是她给我脸色看 -不，妮娜凯兹是… [15:02.60]Nina Katz is the.... [15:04.60]Exactly. 没错，太棒了 她会告诉全时尚杂志的人 [15:06.32]-Great. That face will be all over Vogue. -Not to mention SNL. [15:09.28]更别提“周末夜现场” 妮娜凯兹是个大嘴巴 [15:10.88]Nina Katz loves to talk. [15:11.56]$15.30. -一共是十五块三角 -我也要吃块布朗尼蛋糕 [15:14.08]l'm going to need a big brownie as well. [15:18.84]The next day, Samantha did some personaI shopping. 隔天莎曼珊自己一个人去血拼 [15:24.20]Very personaI. 一件很私人的东西 [15:27.08]-Can l help you? -Yes, l'd like to return this vibrator. -有什么需要我效劳的吗? -是的，这个按摩棒要退货 [15:33.16]We don't sell vibrators. -我们不卖按摩棒 -六个月前我在这里买了它 [15:33.56]Yes, you do. l bought it here six months ago. [15:36.80]That's not a vibrator. lt's a neck massager. 那不是按摩棒 那是电动颈部按摩器 [15:40.48]No, it's a vibrator. 不，它是按摩棒 [15:40.68]Sharper lmage doesn't sell vibrators. lt's a neck massager. 锐影电器不卖按摩棒 那是电动颈部按摩器 [15:46.84]You expect me to believe that women buy these to help their sore necks? 女人买这玩意治疗颈部酸痛? [15:50.96]-lt's a neck massager. -Fine. 那是电动颈部按摩器 [15:54.52]-l'd like to return this neck massager. -What's wrong with it? 好吧 我要退还这个电动颈部按摩器 [15:55.100]lt failed to get me off. -它出了什么问题? -它没办法让我达到高潮 [15:59.88]lt has a warranty, and it just stopped. Made the saddest little sound. 它有保证期限，却动都不动 只会发出可悲的哀叫声 [16:03.64]-Perhaps you wore it out. -Honey, it wouldn't be the first one. -或许你把它累坏了 -它不是第一个 [16:07.12]Fine. Just find another, and go to the cashier. 好吧，你再拿一个 直接到柜台结帐就行了 [16:15.40]l know a man who's in desperate need of a neck massage. 我知道有个男人 很需要帮脖子按摩一下 [16:23.24]You don't want that one. Too many bells and whistles. 千万别买那个 它滴滴答答地吵死人了 [16:29.92]That one actually works against you. 那个按摩棒不合用 [16:29.72]lf we wanted to work that hard, we'd get us a man. Am l right? 如果我们真的想达到高潮 还是要靠男人才行 [16:35.68]Samantha instantIy estabIished herseIf... 莎曼珊马上让自己成为 按摩棒界的蜜奇可卡库塔妮 [16:37.24]as the Michiko Kakutani of vibrators. [16:40.64]-l think that one actually is a back massager. -Not if you mount it. 事实上那是电动背部按摩棒 [16:42.44]你可以坐在它上面试试看 [16:47.40]No, absolutely not. That will burn your clit off. 当然不行，那会烫伤你的私处 [16:50.28]-Even with underwear? -Even with ski pants. -穿着内裤时也会吗? -穿滑雪裤也一样 [17:12.36]l brought you something. 我拿了样东西给你 [17:15.92]lt belongs to Alika. An oscillating chair. 这是艾丽卡的摇椅 [17:21.88]lt helps. -它真的很好用 -请进 [17:23.56]Come on in. [17:30.36]Hey, there, Mr. Mouth. 你好，爱哭鬼宝宝 [17:33.12]What have you got to say that is so important? 你为什么哭过不停? [17:36.28]l'm sorry. lt's just been non-stop. 抱歉，他没有停过 [17:39.60]Now, this chair... 有人不建议用这种摇椅 [17:41.64]is a little controversial... [17:44.64]but l don't give a shit. 我才不在乎 只要让宝宝不再哭就好了 [17:46.24]'Cause it stopped my baby from crying... [17:48.80]when l was about ready to throw myself off the fire escape. 我正打算跳防火梯自杀 [17:53.48]Sounds good. 听起来挺不错的 [18:00.04]Oh, my God! 天啊，这张椅子是天才 [18:02.44]The chair is genius. [18:04.04]Something about the vibration.... l don't know. 我不知道，应该是震动的关系 宝宝喜欢那种感觉 [18:08.80]They love it. Alika could sit in it for hours. 艾丽卡一坐就是好几个小时 [18:13.88]How come you haven't heard about this? Don't your girlfriends have babies? 你怎么没听过这种椅子? [18:16.16]-你的女性朋友都没有宝宝? -没错，我是唯一的妈妈 [18:19.08]-No, l'm the only one. -Then you're screwed. [18:20.72]-那你死定了 -她们帮了我很多忙 [18:22.24]Actually, they've been very helpful. [18:25.92]lf they don't have kids, they don't have a clue. 如果她们没有孩子 就不知道该怎么帮你 [18:32.80]Miranda, you're not a bad mother. 米兰达，你不是个坏妈妈 你只是没有买摇椅 [18:35.84]You just didn't have the chair. [18:40.24]Thank you... 谢谢你 [18:42.12]Kendall. 卡妲儿 [18:49.68]Three bIissfuI baby hours Iater. 宝宝安静了三小时后… [18:54.72]-Samantha, what're you doing here? -l'm not Samantha, you are. -莎曼珊，你来这里做什么? -我不是莎曼珊，你才是 [18:57.84]You have a 5:30 appointment with John Mandy at the John Mandy Salon. 五点半你该到约翰曼帝发廊去 快出发吧 [19:01.60]-Go. -What? 什么?我不能占走你的… [19:04.36]l can't take your-- 我数到五，然后我会改变心意 [19:04.08]l'm counting to five, then l'm changing my mind. [19:07.56]Really? You want to baby-sit? -你要帮我看宝宝? -五，四… [19:08.72]-Five, four-- -Okay. [19:11.92]我不知道该说什么 我不敢相信 [19:15.92]l don't know what to say. l can't believe it. [19:17.48]Neither can l, but here l am, Mary fucking Poppins. 我也不敢相信，但我来了 我会是个好保姆 [19:21.56]Thank you. 谢谢你 [19:26.28]The numbers are on the fridge, and don't take him out of that chair. 电话号码在冰箱上 别抱他离开那张椅子 [19:27.24]lt's the only thing that keeps him quiet. 只有它能让他安静下来 [19:31.12]And don't call boys. 别打电话约男人过来 [19:44.84]You don't look so bad. 你看起来还不算太糟 [19:54.60]MeanwhiIe, in a chair across town... 同时在纽约的另外一边 [19:57.16]I was enjoying an afternoon of absoIuteIy nothing. 我享受着什么都不必做的午后 [20:08.12](节目制作妮娜凯兹) [20:17.04]Do you think Nina Katz is telling random celebrity hosts... 你觉得妮娜会告诉 参加节目的来宾 [20:22.12]-that l'm the bad-breakup girlfriend? -What? 我是伤透 她男友心的前女友吗? [20:25.68]You said she Ioved to taIk. Do you think she's trashing me to, say... -什么? -你说过她是个大嘴巴 [20:30.00]a Gwyneth Paltrow or an lan McKellen? 你觉得她会跟葛妮斯派特洛 或伊恩麦克连说我的坏话吗? [20:33.68]You can't be serious. 你不会是认真的吧? [20:33.04]Don't get me wrong. I don't fIatter myseIf... 我不是吹嘘葛妮斯派特洛 或伊恩麦克连 [20:35.44]that a Gwyneth Paltrow or an lan McKellen would be interested in my love life. [20:37.84]会对我的爱情生活有兴趣 但是…你在动物园里吗? [20:40.08]Are you at a zoo? 不，但这都得谢谢你 我在米兰达家 [20:42.68]No, thanks to you, l am at Miranda's... [20:45.76]and Brady won't stop screaming, and l don't know what to do. 布莱迪一直哭个不停 我不知道该怎么办 [20:49.64]-You're at Miranda's? -l sent her to get my haircut. -你在米兰达家? -我让她代替我去剪头发 [20:50.96]-That was nice. -Yes, and now l'm being punished. -那真的是太棒了 -没错，现在我被惩罚了 [20:54.100]-So he's not hurt? -No. -他受伤了吗? -不 [20:57.12]-Or wet? -No. -尿布湿了? -不 [20:60.12]Then l don't know what his problem is. -我不知道他有什么问题 -他是个混蛋 [21:02.80]His problem is he's an asshole. [21:05.48]-Maybe you should call Miranda. -l will not. -或许你该打电话给米兰达 -我不会那么做 [21:07.96]lt took me months to get that appointment. Someone should benefit. 我努力了几个月才约到设计师 一定要有人因此受惠 [21:12.20]l'll find some way to keep this kid quiet. Goodbye. 我会想办法让这个小鬼安静 再见了 [21:13.12]No, wait, what about Nina? -妮娜呢? -或许夏绿蒂有时间跟你谈 [21:15.00]Maybe Charlotte has the time to talk about this kind of stuff. [21:19.48]l have a screaming baby on my hands. 我必须对付一个爱哭的小鬼 [21:26.40]What? What do you need? 什么?你需要什么? [21:32.48]Well, that's better. 那样好多了 [21:37.36]-ls everything okay? -Absolutely. The chair thing broke. -一切都没事吧? -当然 [21:41.04]-But, you know, shit happens. -The chair broke? -摇椅坏了，但发生了奇迹 -摇椅坏了? [21:42.40]But what did you.... l mean, did he.... 但你怎么…我是说他… [21:52.24]That better be brand-new. 那最好是全新的 [21:56.28]Monday morning, Harry GoIdenbIatt did his best... 星期一早上 哈利葛登布拉特使出全身解数 [21:58.92]to make sure Bunny didn't hop aII over CharIotte. 确定邦妮不会吃掉夏绿蒂 [22:02.32]Mrs. MacDougal is willing to offer... 麦克道格太太 愿意提供她儿子的收集品 [22:03.08]her son's collection of mint-condition silver Buffalo coins. 包括他收集的钱币跟水牛银币 [22:09.56]Could we get off the coin collection? She's not going to settle for that. 她不想接受那些钱币收集品 [22:12.96]According to the pre-nup.... 根据婚前… [22:13.36]This is ridiculous. Trey gave me that apartment. 这太可笑了 崔给了我那间公寓 [22:17.12]She gave him her word. Till death do them part. 她答应要嫁给他 至死才会跟他分离 [22:23.56]Bunny, if you have something to say to me-- -如果你有话要说… -没错 [22:25.40]-Fine. l shall. -l strongly recommend-- [22:26.84]Allan, hush. -我强烈建议… -亚伦，闭嘴 [22:30.96]You, my dear, took a vow. 你发过誓，但一切不如你意时 你违背了自己的誓言 [22:33.76]And when things didn't go your way, you simply broke that vow. [22:34.44]l come from a generation of women that valued marriage. 我这一代的妇女非常重视婚姻 [22:37.72]We believed in ''for better or for worse.'' 我们相信不论发生什么事 [22:40.08]Not ''for better, or until the road gets rocky.'' 我们会跟丈夫白首偕老 至死不渝 [22:46.56]When l think of the heartache and shame... 当我想到你让我儿子 感到心痛丢脸 [22:48.12]you caused my dear boy... [22:53.84]l'm amazed that you could even come here and look me in the face. 我很讶异你竟然敢看着我 [22:54.92]CharIotte couIdn't fight any more. 夏绿蒂无法再坚持下去 [22:56.56]It seemed to her she'd been fighting for this marriage forever. 看来她永远无法摆脱这段婚姻 [23:03.36]Be advised, young lady, l'm more than prepared to go to court. 我必须警告你，小姑娘 我打算告上法庭 [23:10.40]lt's the coin collection. Take it or leave it. 你只能拿到钱币 要不要随便你 [23:14.56]Just hold on. 我们办公室刚收到麦克道格 从苏格兰拍来的电报 [23:14.80]Apparently, our office received a telegram from Scotland from Dr. MacDougal. [23:18.28]-Shall l read it? -By all means. -要我念给大家听吗? -当然 [23:23.92]''Charlotte York was a wonderful wife. Stop. 夏绿蒂约克是个好太太，句点 [23:26.64]''She did nothing wrong. Stop. 她没有做错事，句点 [23:27.40]''Give her everything she wants. Stop. 她要什么都给她，句点 [23:32.40]''Seriously, Mother. Stop.'' 我是认真的，妈妈，句点 [23:37.24]That's the thing about reviews. 那是最出人意表的事 [23:39.24]Sometimes, when you Ieast expect it, you get a rave. 在你最意想不到的时候 给你一个大惊喜 [23:47.00]Just the apartment. -她只能拿走公寓 -我会把文件准备好 [23:47.56]l'll have papers drawn up, so Mrs. MacDougal can transfer the deed. 让麦克道格太太办过户 [23:52.08]Even though things had gotten ugIy... 即使情势恶劣 [23:53.24]CharIotte didn't want them to end that way. 夏绿蒂仍奋战到最后一秒 [23:56.44]l'm sorry things didn't work out better for all of us. 我很抱歉情况不如预期 [24:02.00]亚伦 [24:04.88]CharIotte reaIized there was no such thing as a fairy-taIe divorce either. 夏绿蒂知道 离婚不可能以喜剧收场 [24:09.84]''Ding dong, the witch is dead.'' 太棒了，那个老巫婆输了 [24:17.92]And farther uptown, stiII unabIe to Iet it go... 在上城区，我还是无法忘怀 [24:20.76]Nina Katz and that face had driven me to face my worst fear. 妮娜凯兹跟她的神情逼我面对 内心最深沉的恐惧 [24:27.32]So, Steve, l know l was kind of vague on the phone-- 我知道在电话里我说的很暧昧 [24:28.16]lt's Miranda, right? She doesn't want me to call her so much. lt's fine. 是米兰达吧?她不希望 我打电话给她，没关系 [24:33.72]No, it's not about Miranda. lt's about.... 这件事跟米兰达无关 [24:38.00]-How does Aidan feel about me? -Jeez, no. 艾登对我有什么感觉? [24:42.88]You're not going to try to get back together with him again, are you? 你该不会想跟他复合吧? [24:44.24]No, but that pretty much answers any question l had about how you feel. 不，但那回答了我的问题 [24:50.40]So, what, does he hate me? -他恨我吗? -不，但你的确伤他很深 [24:53.16]No, but come on, Carrie, it was pretty bad. [24:56.04]How bad? 有多深?史蒂夫 [24:59.32]-Steve, the ball. -Sorry. -史蒂夫，别玩球 -抱歉 [25:02.24]How is he now? -他现在好吗? -他很好 [25:03.44]-Great. He's great. -Good. [25:05.04]-很好 -他现在很好 [25:09.68]Now. [25:12.36]But back then, he couldn't get out of bed for like.... 但那个时候他没办法起床 大概有… [25:15.56]-What? Days, weeks? -Like, a month. 几天或几星期吗? [25:19.80]-l brought him chicken wings. -Oh, Christ. 一个月 我会买鸡翅送去给他吃 [25:22.20]l don't mean to make you feel bad. -天啊 -我无意让你难过 [25:24.72]-一个月 -对，他真的是一团糟 [25:26.08]A month? [25:28.00]Yeah, he was devastated. [25:27.100]He lost his ability to open up and trust women. 他没办法打开心胸相信女人 [25:35.24]''He lost his ability to open up and trust women''? 他没办法打开心胸相信女人 他那样跟你说? [25:39.80]Did he tell you that? [25:39.92]No, guys don't talk about shit like that. We just ate wings. 男人不会谈那种事 我们一起吃鸡翅 [25:42.16]But the girl, Nina, he was dating, she told me that. 是跟他约会的妮娜告诉我的 [25:47.76]Okay, we're looking for the cute pretzel guys. 我们要找卖咸味脆饼的大帅哥 [25:49.56]How come you never wanted to cruise guys when l was available? 你不必在我单身时四处找男人 [25:52.56]This isn't about cruising, it's about clarity. 我必须把事情说清楚 妮娜凯兹做得太过分了 [25:55.12]That face chick is hitting a little too close to home. [25:56.52]l want to find her and tell her my side of the breakup story. 我要告诉她我为什么要分手 [25:60.36]-Why? You know what you and Aidan had. -l know it, but she doesn't. -你知道你跟艾登拥有过什么 -没错，但她不知道 [26:04.68]And she's yip-yapping her version all over town. 她到处告诉别人她的说法 [26:05.04]lt only takes one bad review to cancel out all the good word-of-mouth. 好事不出门，坏事传千里 [26:11.44]-What do you think of Marcus? -Nice. -你对马可斯有什么看法? -他不错 [26:13.40]l mean, relationships are complicated. You can't reduce them to a face. 爱情关系很复杂 一个眼神无法说明一切 [26:15.28]-l know that Aidan has feelings-- -Okay, stop. -我知道艾登他有感觉… -好吧，别说了 [26:20.16]l am done. 我受够了 [26:22.08]l've listened to you talk about Aidan, for what... 我听你谈艾登谈了十条街 两年来你一直在提他 [26:25.52]ten blocks, and two years? [26:28.80]And l've been a wonderful audience. 我一直是个好听众 [26:30.68]And l ask you about my Marcus, and all l get is ''nice''? 我问你对马可斯有什么感觉 你只说“他不错” [26:37.68]l'm sorry. 对不起 [26:38.16]How many relationships have l been in since you've known me? 你认识我后 我交过几个男朋友? [26:43.32]Real or imaginary? 真的还是想像的? [26:45.92]Come on, your opinion means a lot to me. 我非常重视你的意见 你是我的良师益友 [26:48.92]You're my Machiko Kakamatsa. [26:51.16]So, now what, you want me to review your relationship? 你要我评论你的爱情世界? [26:53.76]-lmmediately, if not sooner. -Okay, well... -请说吧 -我喜欢他让你觉得快乐 [26:56.52]l like that he makes you happy. [26:58.64]我的天啊 [27:02.44]凯莉 [27:05.92]Okay, one more time, and you are officially stalking me. 你又在敷衍我 [27:08.08]-Hi, l'm Heather. -Heather Graham. l know. l love you. 你好，我是海瑟 [27:09.08]海瑟洛葛拉汉，我知道 我爱你，我是史丹佛巴勒奇 [27:12.28]l'm Stanford Blatch. [27:14.52]-Sorry. Heather, this is Carrie Bradshaw. -Carrie Bradshaw, really? -海瑟，这位是凯莉布雷萧 -她是凯莉布雷萧，真的吗? [27:22.80]好吧，妮娜 [27:24.08]l need to talk to you for a second, alone, if l can. 如果有空的话 我想跟你单独谈一谈 [27:30.36]Miss Graham, may l buy you a pretzel? 洛葛拉汉小姐 我请你吃咸味脆饼 [27:31.52]-Okay. -Get me one. 没问题 [27:34.32]-A man or a pretzel? -Whatever has less carbs. -帮我买一个 -你要男人还是咸味脆饼? [27:35.32]Right. -碳水化合物少的那一个 -好吧 [27:40.76]l get the sense that you have a sort of feeling... 我了解你对艾登发生过的事 [27:45.64]about what happened with Aidan, and l just want to clear something up. 觉得很愤怒 [27:48.32]我想澄清一下 [27:51.60]Breakups are awful, and they are private. 分手是件很难受的事 它们是一种隐私 [27:54.28]And they are not necessarily symptomatic... 它们不代表双方的性格 [27:57.28]of what two people had together. [27:60.48]l loved Aidan very much. 我曾经非常爱艾登 [28:02.44]And l would never, ever have done anything to deliberately hurt him. 我不会做出 任何故意伤害他的事 [28:07.100]Okay. 好吧 [28:10.08]SuddenIy, I reaIized the critic I was most afraid of wasn't Nina Katz. 突然我了解到我最害怕的 并非妮娜凯兹的批评 [28:13.76]It was me. 而是我对自己的责难 [28:15.88]那么… [28:18.88]Bye. 再见了 [28:23.04]The truth is, at any given moment... 真相是不论在什么时候 [28:23.92]someone, somewhere couId be making a face about you. 在某个地方会有某个人 摆脸色给你看 [28:30.96]But it's the reviews you give yourseIf that matter. 重要的是你对自己的看法 [28:32.56]...with Heather Graham and l'm like, ''What do we have to talk about?'' 我跟海瑟在一起时心想 “我们该说什么?” [28:38.92]-Being pretty. -l know. 她很漂亮 [28:39.32]But we had nothing to talk about but pretzels. 但除了咸味脆饼外 我们无话可谈，于是我说… [28:43.00]So l said.... [28:46.00]Come on. 抱歉，快来 [28:45.60]l said, ''Have you ever been to Bavaria? They make the best pretzels there.'' 我说“你去过巴伐利亚吗? 那里的咸味脆饼最好吃了”

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