暮光之城•暮色第218期:第十三章自白(13)

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[00:00:29]But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. “但我抵抗住了。我不知道自己是怎么做到的。我强迫自己不要停下来等你，不要跟着你离开学校。 [00:10:14]It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. 在外头，当我再也闻不到你的时候，我可以更容易地思考，更容易地作出正确的选择。 [00:16:09]I left the others near home — I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong 快到家的时候，我让别的人下了车——我太羞愧了，不敢告诉他们我的意志是那么的薄弱。他们只知道出了非常严重的状况 [00:26:33]and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving. 然后我直奔医院找卡莱尔，告诉他我要离开。” [00:34:57]I stared in surprise. 我震惊地看着他。 [00:35:56]I traded cars with him — he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. “我和他交换了车子——他的车子有满满一箱油，而我不想停下来。 [00:38:48]I didn't dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. 我不敢回家，不敢面对艾思梅。如果我去见她，她一定不会让我走的。 [00:44:42]She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary… 她会竭力说服我这毫无必要……” [00:47:33]By the next morning I was in Alaska. He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice. “第二天早上我到了阿拉斯加。”他听起来很羞愧，就好像在承认自己是多么的怯懦一样。 [00:56:44]I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. “我在那里待了两天，和一些老相识在一起……但我很想家。 [01:02:32]I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. 我讨厌想到，我让艾思梅伤心了，还有余下的几个，我不是亲人胜似亲人的家人。 [01:08:16]In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. 在高山上纯净的空气里，很难想象你的味道是那么的不可抗拒。 [01:13:48]I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, 我说服自己，逃跑是一种示弱的行为。在此之前我能很好地抵抗诱或，虽然它们都没有这样强烈，甚至没有这样接近， [01:22:05]but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl — he grinned suddenly 但我很坚强。而你，一个不起眼的小女孩”——他忽然咧嘴一笑 [01:28:19]to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back… He stared off into space. “能把我从我想去的地方赶走?所以我回来了……”他看向空中。

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"But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you fromthe school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to makethe right decision. I left the others near home — I was too ashamed to tell them how weak Iwas, they only knew something was very wrong — and then I went straight to Carlisle, at thehospital, to tell him I was leaving."

“但我抵抗住了。我不知道自己是怎么做到的。我强迫自己不要停下来等你，不要跟着你离开学校。在外头，当我再也闻不到你的时候，我可以更容易地思考，更容易地作出正确的选择。快到家的时候，我让别的人下了车——我太羞愧了，不敢告诉他们我的意志是那么的薄弱。他们只知道出了非常严重的状况——然后我直奔医院找卡莱尔，告诉他我要离开。”

I stared in surprise.

我震惊地看着他。

"I traded cars with him — he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to gohome, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried toconvince me that it wasn't necessary…

“我和他交换了车子——他的车子有满满一箱油，而我不想停下来。我不敢回家，不敢面对艾思梅。如果我去见她，她一定不会让我走的。她会竭力说服我这毫无必要……”

"By the next morning I was in Alaska." He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a greatcowardice. "I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. I hatedknowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of themountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to runaway. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I wasstrong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl" — he grinned suddenly — "to chase me fromthe place I wanted to be? So I came back…" He stared off into space.

“第二天早上我到了阿拉斯加。”他听起来很羞愧，就好像在承认自己是多么的怯懦一样。“我在那里待了两天，和一些老相识在一起……但我很想家。我讨厌想到，我让艾思梅伤心了，还有余下的几个，我不是亲人胜似亲人的家人。在高山上纯净的空气里，很难想象你的味道是那么的不可抗拒。我说服自己，逃跑是一种示弱的行为。在此之前我能很好地抵抗诱或，虽然它们都没有这样强烈，甚至没有这样接近，但我很坚强。而你，一个不起眼的小女孩”——他忽然咧嘴一笑——“能把我从我想去的地方赶走?所以我回来了……”他看向空中。

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暮光之城•暮色第217期:第十三章自白(12)

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暮光之城•暮色第219期:第十三章自白(14)

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