商务管理之 协调冲突　Conflict Management

商务管理之 协调冲突　Conflict Management

性格和认知的差异导致冲突（conflicts will arise）的产生，在同事和合作伙伴之间也不例外。冲突总体上（as a whole）会对生意和业务造成直接伤害。适时且文明地（timely and civilized manner）解决冲突，并避免类似问题再发生是管理者的职责。

冲突定位

在接触冲突双方之前，首先问自己几个试探性问题（probing questions）：关于什么的冲突？根本起因（root cause）是什么？确保在私下场所（in private）解决下属的冲突，因为在工作场所会影响许多人；此外，矛盾双方也会感觉更放松。调解冲突不是判明谁胜谁输（a winner and loser），而是促成谅解，既往不咎。

⊙What seems to be the problem?

什么样的问题？

⊙Can you meet me in my office to discuss the matter all together?

你们能到我办公室里来一起讨论这个问题吗？

⊙What is the conflict about?

你们争什么?

⊙What is the root cause of the conflict?

矛盾的根本起因是什么？

认真倾听

作为协调人，应当听取双方的诉说（hear all sides of the story）。即便孰是孰非你已经心知肚明，也要仔细倾听，搞清原委，保持中立（neutral）。

⊙It seems you disagree because……，am I right?

好像你不赞同是出自……的原因，对吗？

⊙Let me hear it in your own words.What happened?

让我听听你怎么说，怎么回事？

⊙Can you tell me why you acted in that way?

你能否告诉我为什么那么行事？

⊙Is that what you feel happened?Tell me what your perspective is.

你觉得是不是这么回事？告诉我你的观点。

⊙Be fair！Let's hear him out.

公平些！让他把话说完。

⊙Let's approach this calmly.Everyone's going to have a chance to have their say.Now, Fred, you go first.Tell me in your own words what your side of the story is.No interrupting, Jim, you'll have your chance in a minute.

让我们心平气和地来面对这个问题。每个人都有机会发表自己的意见。Fred，现在你先说，站在你的角度上告诉我事情的原委。别插话，Jim，你马上有机会说话。

解冤

首先不要草率做决定（hasty decisions），要争取的是冲突双方互赢（win-win solution），而不是一方依旧怀恨在心。明确双方的观点，透过双方的情绪和诉说，深度挖掘（dig through）背后的冲突实质，寻找可能的选择和达成谅解的基础。有时候将双方都倾向的选择汇集起来效果更好。关注当下，将过去没有联系的冲突剔除出去。

A：We lost three major clients because Bozo here made so many mistakes in data keeping. Then I got blamed for loosing clients, but it wasn't my fault.

B：So what I'm hearing here is that you feel like it you were unfairly blamed for someone else's mistakes, is that right?And you believe the loss of clients is because of mistakes that Jeff made in data keeping, right?

A：我们损失了三个大客户，就是因为这个笨蛋在保存数据时犯了许多错。而我却因为损失客户被指责。这不是我的错！

B：我听到的是，你觉得因为别人的过错而受到了不公正的指责，对吗？你认为造成客户损失是因为Jeff保存数据时的错误，对吗？

A：I don't agree with the way that Marcie handled that project. She was negligent, unprofessional, lazy, and just plain obnoxious. I refuse to work with her anymore！

B：Let's calm down here. We want to work on resolving the issue.I can see that something happened while you were working together on the project that made you very upset. I sense you and Marcie have had some personalityconflicts.Perhaps there were some things in the way she handled her responsibilities that you would have done differently.Am I right?

A：我不认同Marcie操作项目的方式。她粗心、不专业、懒惰，简直让人讨厌。

我拒绝再和她一起工作。

B：让我们冷静下来。我们要一起解决问题。我了解你们在项目协作上遇到了问题，让你很不开心。我感觉你和Marcie之间有私人恩怨。或许你不赞同她处理业务的方式。我说得对吗？

解决方案

邀请冲突双方与你一道找出解决之道（arrive at a resolution）。一旦双方对谅解提议表示认可，就立即制订行动计划（action plan），调动各方力量实施计划。

⊙Do we all agree that we need to compromise?

我们是否都同意我们需要达成谅解？

⊙How can we resolve this issue?

我们怎么才能解决这个问题？

⊙I know you two haven't seen eye to eye in the past, but let's work to make a compromise.

我了解你们俩过去有分歧，但是让我们一起努力来达成谅解。

⊙Let's all calm down.We can work through this.

让我们都冷静下来。我们能够想法解决这个问题。

⊙Let's be fair here, no name-calling, please.

让我们都公平些，别出口伤人。

⊙We need to come up with a way to work through this.Any suggestions?

我们需要想办法解决这个问题，有什么建议吗？

⊙Forget your pain.We need to move on to a solution.Let's forgive and forget.

忘记伤痛，我们需要找到解决之道。让我们既往不咎。

⊙Okay, so we've agreed to compromise by……

好的，那我们通过……达成谅解。

⊙Our action plan is to……

我们的行动方案是……

耐心

彻底平息（all will be well）冲突，尤其是积怨已久的冲突总是费时（takes time）又费力。有时候要情理并用，苦口婆心。扭转某种认识就是这么不容易，但是成功的调解人会赢得更多的尊重。

⊙Okay, now that we're finally all in agreement, I will get in touch with the right people to implement these changes as soon as possible.

好的，现在我们终于达成共识了。我会联系相关人员尽快落实这些变动。

⊙Thanks everyone for working so hard to resolve this issue.

感谢各位为解决这个问题而付出的辛勤工作。

⊙Let's get the results of our discussion today in writing and put it into action next week.

让我们把今天讨论的结果形成文字，并在下周执行。

总结

利用作为领导所具备的公信力和权威来化解公事中的纠纷，并非简单意义上的“劝架”或“当和事佬”。调解冲突，不仅要动之以情，晓之以理，而且要透过纷争看到矛盾实质，中立地引导冲突双方走向谅解和利益的统一。只有让双方化干戈为玉帛，才能充分利用集体的凝聚力为企业服务。

Words　单词表

acceptable可接受的

allot分配，配给，分派

client客户，顾客

delegate代表

document文件，文档

error错误，失误

implement贯彻，实施

incompetent不胜任的，不称职的

negligent疏忽的，随便的，不拘谨的

obnoxious极讨厌的

offend得罪，冒犯

overall全面的，综合的，总体的

overreact反应过激，反应过火

redo重做，返工

unprofessional不专业的

Phrases　短语表

Bozo here这个笨蛋/傻瓜

cry over split milk覆水难收，争取当前

forgive and forget既往不咎，不念旧恶

get the job done完成某项工作

get blamed for sth因为某事受到指责

hard drive crash硬盘驱动器崩溃

hear sb out听某人把话说完

in（one's）own words用自己的话

mix sth up弄错，弄乱

move on前进

name-calling骂人，中伤

personality conflicts人格冲突

ppt presentation幻灯演示

recover data恢复数据

resolve an issue解决一个问题

root cause根本原因

take a chill pill平静一下，设法平静

take credit for sth因……受到好评和扬

be unfairly blamed for sth由于某事赞受到不公指责

your/my side of the story身边的故事

实景对话1

A：Thanks for coming today to discuss this matter. Now, what seems to be the problem?How can we resolve this issue?

B：We lost three major clients because Bozo here made so many mistakes in data keeping.

A：Let's be fair here, no name-calling, please.

C：No kidding. Looks like someone needs to take a chill pill.

A：Jeff, you too. Now, do we all agree that we need to compromise?Let's all calm down. We can work through this.Jeff, let me hear it in your own words.What happened?

C：Well, it's true that we lost three clients. But it's not true that it is all my fault. Yeah, I did make some mistakes with the data……

B：Some mistakes?！

A：Be fair！Let's hear him out.

C：Yeah, I lost the project proposal document for one client, and I mixed up the PPT presentations on two others. But the reason is because my hard drive crashed.I was up until 2am last night working overtime trying to redo all the data.If I had had some help from my workmate here last night, maybe I wouldn't have made so many errors.

A：So you're feeling that if Martin had helped you recover the data last night， you might not have made the mistakes you did.

C：That's right.

A：Well, it seems to me that we can't change what already happened. So I think we need to forget the pain, and move on to a solution. Let's forgive and forget.

A：感谢参与这件事情的讨论。现在，问题是什么？我们该怎么解决？

B：因为这个笨蛋在保存数据时犯了许多错，我们损失了三个大客户。

A：让我们公平些，不要恶语中伤。

C：对了。看上去好像有人需要镇静一下。

A：Jeff，你也一样。现在我们都同意应该互让谅解吧？让我们都冷静下来。我们可以解决这个问题。Jeff，让我听听你怎么说。怎么回事？

C：损失三名客户是真的，但不全是我的错。是的，我是犯了一点儿错……

B：一点儿错？！

A：公平些，让他把话说完。

C：是这样，我丢了一家客户的项目建议方案，还搞混了给另外两家客户的幻灯演示。但那是因为我的硬盘驱动器崩溃了。为了重新做所有的数据，我工作到夜里两点。如果这位同事昨晚给我些帮助，也许我就不会犯这么多错。

A：所以你觉得如果昨晚Martin能够帮助你修复数据，你就不会犯这样的错？

C：没错。

A：事已至此，我们应当冰释前嫌，努力找到解决之道。让我们既往不咎。

实景对话2

A：What is the conflict about?Let's approach this calmly. Everyone's going to have a chance to have their say. Now, Fred, you go first.

B：I don't agree with the way that Marcie handled that project. She was negligent, unprofessional, lazy, and just plain obnoxious. I refuse to work with her anymore！

A：Let's calm down here. We want to work on resolving the issue.I can see that something happened while you were working together on the project that made you very upset. Perhaps there were some things in the way she handled her responsibilities that you would have done differently.Am I right?

B：Yeah, that's right.

A：Marcie, is that what you feel happened?Tell me what your perspective is.

C：I think Fred is really overreacting.I might have offended him in someway，I'm not sure. Yeah, we have different ways of doing things, but I got the job done, didn't I?

A：So Marcie, you're totally unclear on why Fred might be so upset?

C：Well, I'm pretty sure it's because he didn't like the fact that I delegated some of the work to another team……

B：Yeah. You take all the credit without doing any of the work.

A：Okay, our action plan is to redistribute some of the tasks involved in your project and make sure that the work is evenly allotted. Does that sound like a good solution?

B：I suppose so……

C：Okay.

A：你们争什么？让我们心平气和地面对问题。每个人都有机会发表意见。

Fred，你先说。

B：我不认同Marcie做项目的方式。她粗心、不专业、懒惰，让人讨厌。我拒绝和她共事。

A：冷静点吧。我们得一起解决问题。我明白你们在项目协作上中发生了让你很不开心的事。或许你不赞同她处理业务的方式。我说得对吗？

B：是这样的。

A：Marcie，你感觉是这么回事吗？告诉我你的想法。

C：我认为Fred反应过激了。我也许在什么地方冒犯了他，我不肯定。当然，我们做事的方式各有千秋，但是我把工作搞定了，不是吗？

A：所以Marcie，你还是不完全清楚Fred到底为什么这么生气？

C：我肯定他是不满意我把一些工作委托给了别的组……

B：是的。你什么也没干却赢得了所有的功劳。

A：那好，现在我们要重新分配任务，确保均匀分派工作。这样行吗？

B：我想可以……

C：好的。