生活英语听力文章：和朋友建立融洽的关系
Modeling Builds Rapport
效仿他人构建融洽关系
Have you ever noticed how you are drawn to people with whom you share things in common? This is called the law of attraction and means that you will inevitably be attracted to people into your life that are similar to you. We don’t need to look far beyond our close friends to understand that we are drawn to people with similar interests. So, how can you use this natural tendency to your advantage in all of your relationships?
你有没有注意到你会被和你有共同点的人所吸引?这就是所谓的吸引准则，你会不可避免的被和你相似的人吸引进入你的生活。我们在朋友圈中就能看出我们会被和我们有共同爱好的人吸引。所以你怎么把这一自然趋势当成优势用在你的人际关系中呢?
Two key methods come to mind:
请记住两个关键的方法
Become aware of activities, interests and relationships you may have in common with people and pay particular attention during conversations. You may both have children, you may both work in the same part of town, you may both have a son who plays soccer, or you may both like Thai food.
Throughout my career I have made it a point of asking people questions with the goal of identifying things we have in common. Once I identify something we have in common, I transition the conversation to that subject. When I do, I almost immediately feel them connecting with me.
留心你们共同的活动、兴趣和人际关系，尤其是在交谈中特别关注下。你们可能都有孩子，在同一个地段上班，都有一个踢足球的儿子，或者都喜欢泰国菜。通过畅谈职业我问一些问题用以辨认我们是否有共同点。一旦发现有共同点，我会把话题转移过去，当我这么做时，我几乎立刻感到他们向我靠近了。
Model people. What do I mean? Modeling is a technique to mirror or match the non-verbal and verbal communication of others. As an example, when I am around people who talk softly, then I moderate my voice and speak softly. If they talk slowly, then I will do my best to match their speed and speak slowly. If they lean back in their chair, then I will casually lean back. If their legs are crossed, then I will cross my legs.
Now you may think that people will notice that you are modeling them and misinterpret the behavior as mimicking. While there is a risk of this occurring, it really depends on how obvious you are in your modeling. For example, if I am sitting at a table with someone who leans back in their chair, I won’t instantly lean back; rather I will wait a couple seconds to model their position.
效仿他人。这是什么意思呢?它是反映或匹配他人非口头或口头交流的一种手段。拿个例子来说吧，当我身处一群话语轻柔的人中，我会减轻语调和语速，如若他们说话很慢，我就会尽量匹配他们的语速，说话也慢下来，如若他们靠椅而坐，我也会随意的靠椅而坐，他们要是把腿交叉起来，我也会这样。你会觉得别人会发觉你在效仿他们并可能误解你的这种行为是一种模仿的行为。当这种情况发生时，主要是因为你效仿的时候太过明显。举个例子吧，如果我和一个背靠椅而坐的人坐在一起，我不会立即这样做，我会等个几秒中再去效仿他人的行为。
I have been using this method of building rapport for more than 23 years and I am not aware of a time when someone picked up on the fact that I was modeling him or her. After all, why should people be suspicious? You are just like them.
我用这种方式和朋友建立超过23年的融洽关系，期间我从未发觉他人觉得我是在模仿他或她。毕竟，他们也没有理由去怀疑呀。你仅仅只是喜欢他们而已嘛。
There will also be occasions when you will want to lead those you are modeling. For instance, if you are with a prospective client and you find yourselves both leaning back while engaging in small talk, a posture change would be appropriate when the conversation shifts to the business at hand. In that scenario, it may be appropriate to change your posture and lean forward to emphasize or show them something. In most cases they will follow your lead and lean forward.
也会有你去引导你想要效仿的人的时候。比如，当你和潜在客户向后倾斜闲聊，如果把话题转移到手头工作上这时最好改变下坐姿。这种情况下最好身体前倾去强调或显示一些东西给他们，大多数情况下他们会依着你的指导前倾身体的。
This past week a gentleman with enormous energy interviewed me. I had done my research prior to the interview and knew I would have to step up my energy to match his. When we were finished, he gave me a high five and said, “Todd, that turned out great!” I am confident that modeling my energy with his created an instant bond.
上周以为精力十足的绅士面试了我。在此之前我做了研究，知道我必须要显示和这项工作匹配的能力出来。当面试结束后，他对我很满意，说到“Todd,你太棒了!”我很有信心把我的能力和他的债券匹配在一起。
I first learned of the technique of the mirroring and modeling in Anthony Robbins’s bestselling book Unlimited Power. If you would like to learn more about this powerful rapport building technique I would encourage you to read this book. It was one of the best books I have ever read.
我首次听说镜像与匹配理论是在安东尼罗宾斯的畅销书---无穷的力量。如果你想了解更多构建和谐关系的技术，我建议去读这本书。它是我读到过的最好的书中的一本。
One of the greatest benefits of mirroring and modeling is its ability to accelerate the rapport building process. In my real estate career modeling enabled me to quickly build rapport with my prospective clients, most of whom I had never met before our initial meeting. The end result was 92% of these residential sellers selected me to sell their homes.
镜像匹配最大的一个好处是能过加速构建和谐关系的进程。在我的房地产事业中，竞相匹配理论让我和潜在客户快速建立和谐关系，他们中的很多人都是第一次见，最终有92%的卖家选我来出售他们的房屋。
If you take the time to build rapport, you will establish an environment of trust and understanding. It is from this foundation that meaningful relationships are built.
如果你在构建融洽关系上花费时间，你就会营造出一个信任与理解的环境。这是构建有意义的人际关系的基础。
Modeling requires a conscious effort. Choose a safe situation to practice-with a good friend or a family member. Mirror their voice tone, tempo and posture. It may be awkward at first but you will soon recognize its value. Just have fun with it. You have nothing to lose.
效仿需要有意识的的努力。选择一个安全的情况，在一个好朋友或家庭成员里实践。反映他们的语音语调，节奏和姿势。刚开始它可能很别扭但你很快就会认识到它的价值。去感受它的乐趣。你没有什么可失去的。
Modeling people is one of the fastest and most effective ways to build rapport.
效仿他人是最快的最有效的构建融洽关系的方法。
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