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听美剧学英语 - 摩登家庭第一季 第19集 Game Changer

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2016年07月22日

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  Claire为了让Phil开心,决定早起去排队买第一天发行的Ipad作为Phil的生日礼物,可Claire还是忍不住困意睡着了。Mitchell以为有人闯进Lily的房间而被吓住,但事后他对自己应付突发状况的反应而感到忧心。Jay买了棋盘当礼物送给Phil,顺便和Manny下了一盘,不过荣辱心很强的Jay能忍受Manny故意输给他吗?

1

00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,500

今天山姆·莱利踢足球

Today Sam Riley kicked a soccer ball...

 

2

00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:07,910

狠狠砸中某小孩  他眼珠都爆出来了

and it hit another kid so hard his eye popped out.

 

3

00:00:07,910 --> 00:00:09,240

帅呆了

Awesome!

 

4

00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,280

是吗  眼珠真爆出来了吗

Really? His eye popped out.

 

5

00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,090

-算了  -钻被窝咯  明天周六大日子哎

- Never mind. - Well, gotta hit the sack. Big Saturday tomorrow.

 

6

00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:16,440

没错  某人过生日

That's right. It's somebody's birthday.

 

7

00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,600

不止生日  iPad要开卖了

Not just that. The iPad comes out-

 

8

00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,280

就在我生日这天

on my actual birthday.

 

9

00:00:20,860 --> 00:00:23,010

像是乔帮主和上帝勾肩搭背地说

It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say,

 

10

00:00:23,010 --> 00:00:23,970

"我们爱你哟  菲尔"

"We love you, Phil."

 

11

00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:25,700

那玩意儿到底棒在哪儿

What is so great about that doohickey anyhow?

 

12

00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:27,160

"玩意儿"  艾丽·梅

"Doohickey," Elly May?

 

13

00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:27,160

{\an8}[60年代电视剧角色  天使外表傻妞心]

 

14

00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:31,230

电影院  图书馆  音乐商店

It's a movie theater, a library and a music store...

 

15

00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:34,480

都集成在那神奇的小本里

all rolled into one awesome pad.

 

16

00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,920

图书馆知道吗  是个看书的地方

A library is a place where people get books.

 

17

00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,250

电影院知道吗  是个约会的地方

A movie theater is a place where people go on dates.

 

18

00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,880

我得把沙滩椅装到车里

I better load the beach chair into the trunk.

 

19

00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,510

明早好坐着排队

I'm gonna need it for the line in the morning.

 

20

00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,490

等等亲爱的

Wait, honey. Hang on. 

 

21

00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:46,040

你生日怎么能排一天队呢

You can't spend your birthday in line.

 

22

00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,300

不会排一天啦

Well, not the whole day.

 

23

00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,520

我6点去  不用你惦记

I have to be there at 6:00, you'll forget about it.

 

24

00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,820

-10点就买到啦  -我去排怎么样

- Then I'm out by 10:00. - Why don't you let me do it?

 

25

00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:53,650

克莱尔  没必要吧

Claire, you don't have to do that.

 

26

00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:55,530

是没必要  但我想替你

No, I know, but I want to.

 

27

00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:56,680

那样的话  你生日这天

And that way on your birthday

 

28

00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,740

一睁眼  面前就是新玩具啦

you'll wake up and you'll have your brand-new toy.

 

29

00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,630

好吧

Okay.

 

30

00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:05,030

你将之称作"玩具"是大不敬

Well, in spite of you calling it a toy,

 

31

00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:07,820

但明天貌似会超过我曾过得最开心的一个生日

this is shaping up to top the best birthday I ever had.

 

32

00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,110

感谢上帝  再不用听那故事

Oh, thank God we don't have to hear that stupid story

 

33

00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:12,680

-什么地方来着  -在欢乐地带球场

- about that place... - It was called the Fun Zone.

 

34

00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:13,670

那年我11岁

I was 11.

 

35

00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:16,730

连续击中10个直线快球

I hit 10 straight fastballs in the batting cage.

 

36

00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:18,870

然后我的铁哥们杰夫·斯威尼冒出来

Then my best friend Jeff Sweeney stepped in

 

37

00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,540

被我正中胯下

and took one in the groin.

 

38

00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,830

我喊道  又中两"球"

I yelled out "Ball two!"

 

39

00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:25,390

所有人爆笑

Everybody laughed.

 

40

00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:27,850

那时我就知道  我很搞笑

That was when I knew I was funny.

 

41

00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:30,670

晚安

Good night.

 

42

00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:35,640

B-E-L-I-E-V-E  相信

B-E-L-I-E-V-E. Believe.

 

43

00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:38,270

中间不是E-I吗  你确定吗

Are you sure there's not an "E-I" In the middle?

 

44

00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,400

- 不  是I-E  -好样滴  宝贝

- No. It's "I-E." - Good, papi!

 

45

00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,650

我绕不晕你  你老师也别想成功

If I can't fool you, then your teachers can't fool you either.

 

46

00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:45,310

老师没必要绕晕我吧

I don't think they're trying to fool me.

 

47

00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:48,320

猜猜我给菲尔买了什么生日礼物

Wait until you see what I got Phil for his birthday.

 

48

00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,530

天维购物淘到的

I found it on the SkyMall catalog.

 

49

00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:53,330

啧啧  不是那种会说话的闹钟吧

Ay. It's not one of those talking alarm clocks?

 

50

00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:57,040

"6:05啦  6:25啦  醒醒啦醒醒啦"

"It's 6:05. It's 6:25. Wake up. Wake up."

 

51

00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,050

比那个棒多了  一套紫檀木棋

Even better. A rosewood chess set.

 

52

00:02:00,050 --> 00:02:01,530

话说  不如我等会再包装

As matter of fact, before I wrap this thing,

 

53

00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:02,740

我们先来一局怎么样

what say we take it for a spin?

 

54

00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:04,120

来吧曼尼  我教你

Come on, Manny. I'll teach you.

 

55

00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:05,870

他会下的啦  他老爸教过的

He knows how to play. His father taught him.

 

56

00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:08,830

我要教他正经下法  不是哥伦比亚版的

I'm gonna teach him real chess, not the Colombian version.

 

57

00:02:08,950 --> 00:02:10,640

在我们这  棋子是用来下的

We actually use the pieces to play the game,

 

58

00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,340

不是用来藏毒走私的

not smuggle stuff out of the country.

 

59

00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:15,650

那你也少来玩我这哥伦比亚女子

I know one Colombian piece you won't be playing with later.

 

60

00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:17,240

曼尼快来  试试你能耐  

Manny, come on. Let's see what you got. 

 

61

00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,270

会让你大吃一惊的

You'll be surprised.

 

62

00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,040

{\pos(193,210)}让他赢

 

63

00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:26,880

曼尼棋艺高超  杰的棋品可不咋滴

Manny's an excellent player, but Jay is a grumpy loser.

 

64

00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,840

输了就生闷气  吊脸子  还摔门

He mopes, he makes the face, he slams the door,

 

65

00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,550

摔完门还不承认

then he said he didn't slam the door.

 

66

00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:34,050

让他赢比较好啦

It's better that he wins.

 

67

00:02:39,670 --> 00:02:41,220

我来

Um, I got this.

 

68

00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:47,540

没事的

Everything's gonna be okay.

 

69

00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,030

好啦  别哭啦

It's okay. It's okay.

 

70

00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:55,350

-小卡  -别吵我

- Cam! - Leave me alone.

 

71

00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,540

莉莉  莉莉房里有个人

There's a...there's a man in Lily's room.

 

72

00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,060

莉莉房里有个人啊

There's a man in Lily's room!

 

73

00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,000

大棒走起

It's go time.

 

74

00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,310

感谢上帝

Oh, thank God.

 

75

00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,090

是我是我  别打  是我

It's me, it's me, it's me, it's me.

 

76

00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:18,920

她没事

She's fine.

 

77

00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:20,680

邻居的监控器和我们串线了

We must have just heard a neighbor with the same monitor.

 

78

00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:21,780

感谢上帝

Thank God.

 

79

00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,390

老天  要是有蜘蛛闯入

Boy, if a spider would have broken in here,

 

80

00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:26,430

你捏个报纸也就能吓吓它而已

he would have been in trouble.

 

81

00:03:38,590 --> 00:03:39,920

摩登家庭

第一季第十九集

 

82

00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,730

灯光烧烤夹

Light-up barbecue tongs.

 

83

00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:46,750

我就给菲尔准备了这破礼物

This was the lame gift I got Phil.

 

84

00:03:47,370 --> 00:03:51,340

所以5点起床排队  我郁闷吗

So, was I bummed to get up at 5:00 and wait in line?

 

85

00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,560

不  不会  我总算能给老公

No. No, because I was finally getting my husband

 

86

00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,870

买到梦寐以求的礼物了

something that he really, really wanted.

 

87

00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,420

我和他一样兴奋

I was every bit as excited as he was.

 

88

00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:07,440

不行

No.

 

89

00:04:18,830 --> 00:04:19,790

嘿  哥们

Hey, buddy.

 

90

00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:22,280

昨天输给我  没生气吧

I hope you're not upset about our chess match yesterday.

 

91

00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,750

再来一盘怎么样

Hey, what do you say we play again?

 

92

00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,890

-我挺好  -态度不错

- I'm good. - That's the spirit.

 

93

00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:27,930

我给你下载的

Downloaded this for you. 

 

94

00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:29,970

儿童级国际象棋入门

It's kind of a kid's guide to chess.

 

95

00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,170

不了  杰  我好得很

No, Jay. I'm good.

 

96

00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:34,690

下棋不无聊的  可以很有趣嘛

Nah, it's not all dry like that. They have fun with it.

 

97

00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:37,800

看  可以用蜡笔给小人上色呢

See, you can color in the little players with your crayons.

 

98

00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,780

还真让我兴趣大增

Now you are making me want to play again.

 

99

00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,350

有兴趣就对了  我们来打个赌吧

Now we're lighting a fire. Let me toss this out.

 

100

00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,760

如果终有一天  你下赢了我

If you beat me, if that day should ever come,

 

101

00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:47,800

我就给你...

I'll give you-

 

102

00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,930

-你那块表  -哟  早看上了啊

- I want your watch. - Wow, you had that loaded up.

 

103

00:04:52,450 --> 00:04:54,530

成  来吧

Okay. Game on.

 

104

00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,910

来  你先下

Now, I want you to go first.

 

105

00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,210

记住  努力清出中路

Now remember, try to open up the middle of the board.

 

106

00:05:02,290 --> 00:05:04,630

我觉得你该走两步

I'd have moved that guy two spaces.

 

107

00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:06,130

更有攻击性

More aggressive.

 

108

00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:10,220

皇后也别那么早出来

And you don't want to bring your queen out that quickly.

 

109

00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,380

看  它应该守在原地的

See, now you could've protected that with that,

 

110

00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,450

它一动  就露了...

but now you're vulnerable-

 

111

00:05:13,450 --> 00:05:16,330

-将军  -哈?  什么

- Checkmate. - Huh? What?

 

112

00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,330

怎么将的

How'd you do that?

 

113

00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:22,930

你肯定猜不到

You will not believe what's going on

 

114

00:05:22,930 --> 00:05:24,720

杰克和黛比家出了什么事

at Jake and Debbie's house.

 

115

00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,520

-谁  -和我们串线那家  肯定就住附近

-Who? -The people on the monitor. They must live nearby.

 

116

00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,920

他家太狗血了

So much drama.

 

117

00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:32,660

杰克跟黛比说  他要加班

Okay, Jake told Debbie that he had to work late.

 

118

00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:34,010

黛比打给他老板

So she called his boss 

 

119

00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:36,130

发现没加班  抓包

and found out that he didn't. Busted!

 

120

00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,710

她就打了一早上电话

So she spent all morning on the phone

 

121

00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:39,890

跟她妈妈哭啊哭啊哭

crying and crying and crying to her mother...

 

122

00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:42,710

说如果杰克再"加班"

and said if Jake has to work "late" one more time,

 

123

00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,440

她就要离婚

she's filing for divorce.

 

124

00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,660

就这样吗  我端上狗血大菜

That's it? I give you that tasty dish

 

125

00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:50,200

你就只"哈"一声吗

and all you give me is a "Huh"?

 

126

00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,390

对不起小卡  昨晚我吓呆了

I-I'm s- Cam, I froze last night.

 

127

00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:53,570

真是呆了

I froze. 

 

128

00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,910

我以为莉莉有危险  就吓呆了

I thought Lily was in danger and I froze.

 

129

00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:57,900

可你没有  你立刻行动

But not you. No, you sprung right into action.

 

130

00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,600

居然还拉风地说了句"走起"

You even had the cool "It's go time" line.

 

131

00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,130

那是本能啦  我做过一年交管员

That comes to me naturally. I spent a year as a crossing guard.

 

132

00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:05,010

小卡  我算是什么爸爸啊

Cam, I mean, what kind of parent am I

 

133

00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:07,990

连自己的家人都保护不了

if I can't even protect my own family, you know?

 

134

00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:11,560

我真想有那么一次无所畏惧

Just once I would love to be the guy with no fear...

 

135

00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,150

站起来  该  该出手时就出手

who can stand up and, I don't know, you know, kick some ass.

 

136

00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:17,240

你那小粉拳挥得真萌

You're so cute when you're angry with your little fists.

 

137

00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,780

真想把你装进口袋里

Just wanna put you in my pocket.

 

138

00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,180

老爸下楼了

Think he's coming.

 

139

00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,210

-来了吗  -来了来了

- He's coming? - Here he comes.

 

140

00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:26,590

-老爸  -生日快乐

- Dad! - Happy birthday!

 

141

00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:29,130

孩子们  帅呆了

You guys! That's awesome.

 

142

00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:32,060

-谁送来的气球  -小卡和米奇尔

- Oh, who are these from? - Cam and Mitchell.

 

143

00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:33,670

典型的基情温馨

Those guys are a class act.

 

144

00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:35,520

我们给你做早餐呢

We're making you breakfast.

 

145

00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,240

法式华夫饼哦

French waffle cakes.

 

146

00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:41,850

我猜猜  两片法式吐司夹华夫

Let me guess: One waffle in between two pieces of French toast

 

147

00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,470

外面裹着煎饼

wrapped in a pancake.

 

148

00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,360

全对

Nailed it.

 

149

00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,630

过来吧孩儿们

Bring it in here, monkeys.

 

150

00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,170

老爸爱你们  快过来

Love you! Get over here!

 

151

00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:50,590

真棒

Good enough.

 

152

00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:51,930

老妈人呢

Where's Mom?

 

153

00:06:51,930 --> 00:06:53,560

你是说史上最棒的女人吗

You mean the greatest woman in the world?

 

154

00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,130

正在苹果店门外排队呢

She is standing in line at the Apple Store,

 

155

00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:58,510

要实现我所有的生日愿望

making all my birthday wishes come true.

 

156

00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:00,380

看看味道怎样

Let's see how these bad boys taste.

 

157

00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:02,660

-别碰  -老天  烫

- Oh, no... - Son of a... Oh! It's hot!

 

158

00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:05,820

-没事吧  -刚出炉是吧  真是

- Are you okay? - Fresh out of the oven? That is...

 

159

00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:07,610

-要冰块吗  -要

- Do you want some ice? - Yes.

 

160

00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:09,730

靠  真是...

Oh, man! This...

 

161

00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:12,120

-舒服多了  舒服舒服  -对不起  老爸

- Oh, that feels better. That feels better. - Sorry, Dad.

 

162

00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,540

没有  太诡异了

No, it actually- That feels weird. 

 

163

00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:15,850

换了种疼法

That burns in a different way!

 

164

00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:20,910

烤盘别洗啊  我皮还黏在上面呢

Don't wash this until we see if I can get my skin back. Okay?

 

165

00:07:25,650 --> 00:07:26,570

让我看看

Let me see it!

 

166

00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,920

不行  派对要晚上才开始呢

No! Your party's not until tonight.

 

167

00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:29,910

你得等等

You're just gonna have to wait.

 

168

00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:31,750

让我看看包装袋嘛  留在车里了吗

Just let me see the bag. Did you leave it in the car?

 

169

00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,390

-对啊  -谁招待你的

- Yeah! - Hey, who'd you deal with?

 

170

00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:35,280

是叫莫哈吗  他们管他叫"兽男"

Was it a guy named Mehar? They call him "The beast."

 

171

00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,410

矮个子  他肯定忙着疯狂搬货

He's a tiny guy. He must've move a ton of product.

 

172

00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:39,960

吊胃口哈  我喜欢

I kinda love that you're making me wait.

 

173

00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,030

你是史上最棒老婆啦

You are the best wife ever!

 

174

00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:45,140

史上最棒  绝对的

You are the best wife ever!

 

175

00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,860

我没买到iPad

I didn't get you the iPad.

 

176

00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,970

我到的时候已经卖光了

I got to the store and they were all out.

 

177

00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:50,300

真对不起

I'm so sorry.

 

178

00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:52,680

我不懂  我网友都买到了

I don't understand. My online buddies got it.

 

179

00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:55,180

高考落榜君和机器兄8点才到店里

SAT800 and Brobot didn't get there until 8:00.

 

180

00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,470

你肯定比他们早

And you definitely got there before they did,

 

181

00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:57,880

你不是六点半就去了

because you got there at 6:30.

 

182

00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:01,280

不不不  你没早去吗  你上哪去了

No, no, no! You didn't get there at 6:30? Where were you?

 

183

00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:02,850

我闹钟定了五点的

I set the alarm for 5:00.

 

184

00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,620

起床下楼  结果又睡着了

I got up, I came downstairs, I fell asleep.

 

185

00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:07,200

不要啊  老天爷

No! Oh, my goodness. 

 

186

00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,120

我做了什么  我做了什么

What have I done? What have I done?

 

187

00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,280

-我该自己去的  -亲爱的  没事

- I should've done this myself. - Sweetie, you know what? 

 

188

00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,530

下周会补货的呀

They're gonna get more in next week.

 

189

00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:13,580

下周

Next week?

 

190

00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,080

让抢鲜族等下周  你太残忍了

That's the worst thing you can say to an early adopter.

 

191

00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:18,400

你上哪去

Where are you going?

 

192

00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,590

去找个重视别人生日的地方

To a place where birthdays still mean something.

 

193

00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:30,890

我去开门

I'll get that.

 

194

00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,410

-曼尼  -米奇尔

- Hi, Manny. - Mitchell?

 

195

00:08:33,650 --> 00:08:35,310

你有何贵干呀

What are you doing here at... 

 

196

00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:38,030

现在时间  周六下午4点17分

4:17 on a Saturday afternoon?

 

197

00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:40,870

我来还老爸的工具包

Oh, I'm just returning my dad's belt of tools, so-

 

198

00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,460

周六下午4点17分吗

At 4:17 on a Saturday afternoon?

 

199

00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:45,600

你没别的事可干了吗

Don't you have something better to do?

 

200

00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,140

-装扮成功吗  -什么

- So, were you a big hit? - What do you mean?

 

201

00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,490

你借这玩意多半是参加化妆派对嘛

Well, I just assumed there was some kind of costume party.

 

202

00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,860

小卡扮印度阿三是不

Was Cam the Indian?

 

203

00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,460

不  跟你说  爸

No. For your information, Dad,

 

204

00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,670

我们确实是在家建了东西

we were actually doing a little construction at the house.

 

205

00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:58,800

建了什么

What'd you build? 

 

206

00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,630

礼品包装小站

A gift-wrapping station.

 

207

00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:01,840

真够基情的哈

And we're back. 

 

208

00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:05,260

-谢了  -不客气

- So, thank you for that. - You're welcome.

 

209

00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,980

老爸  你记不记得我11岁时

Hey, uh, Dad, do you remember when I was, probably 11...

 

210

00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,280

你教我拳击  我半途而废来着

and you were teaching me how to fight, and then I quit?

 

211

00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,770

是啊  你说你要学的招数

Yeah, when you said everything you needed to learn 

 

212

00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:14,640

《西区故事》那种歌舞片里都有

you'd learn from West Side Story.

 

213

00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,050

-对  -花拳绣腿好用吗

- Yeah. - How'd that work out for you?

 

214

00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:18,140

哪天斗了舞  一定告诉你

If I'm ever in a dance fight, I'll let you know.

 

215

00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:23,190

那  你还想教我吗

So, yeah- Is the offer, uh, still good?

 

216

00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,470

怎么了  你和小卡闹矛盾啦

Why? What's the matter? You got problems with Cam?

 

217

00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:27,870

怎么会呢  你咋猜那个

No! Why would you say that?

 

218

00:09:27,870 --> 00:09:31,190

拜托  和男人同居哎

Well, come on. I mean, you know, sharing a room with a guy?

 

219

00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:33,770

我跟我弟弟睡过上下铺  天天暴力

I bunked with my brother. I know that can get pretty rough.

 

220

00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,450

我和小卡可不睡上下铺

I don't "bunk" with Cam.

 

221

00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,040

爸  我就是想学点自卫术

Dad, I just wanna learn a little self-defense, you know.

 

222

00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,420

还记得哪招  耍来看看

Show me what you remember.

 

223

00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,790

-现  现在吗  -来吧

- Right now? - Yeah.

 

224

00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,270

好吧  老天  拇指外扣

Okay, uh- Gosh, uh- Thumbs out.

 

225

00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:47,920

-没错  乖仔  -然后

- Thumbs. Attaboy. - And then-

 

226

00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,190

不咋漂亮  是不

That wasn't- That wasn't very pretty, was it?

 

227

00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,780

其实  恐怕是太"漂亮"了

You know what? Maybe it was a little too pretty.

 

228

00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,620

没错

That's the thing.

 

229

00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:02,260

起飞了哈

Here it goes.

 

230

00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:03,970

老天

Oh! Oh, man!

 

231

00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:05,130

哥们

Buddy! 

 

232

00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:08,470

你起跳点太低了  才没飞起来

Think the problem is, you're not jumping from high enough.

 

233

00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:10,600

去车库顶试试

You should get on top of the garage.

 

234

00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,240

艾丽克斯  别害你小弟了

Alex, stop trying to kill your brother.

 

235

00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,420

各位  妈妈要求助你们

Listen, guys, I need your help.

 

236

00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,640

得给老爸找个iPad来

We've gotta find your dad one of those iPad thingies.

 

237

00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,800

海莉  给你朋友群发短信

So, Haley, text everyone you know.

 

238

00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,630

艾丽克斯  Facebook  推特什么的都发一圈

Alex? Facebook, chat, tweet, buzz, bling,

 

239

00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:22,110

我不懂那些玩意  你要通过一切渠道

I don't know! Just do what you have to do.

 

240

00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:24,320

千万找个iPad来  好吗

We have got to find one of these iPads. Okay?

 

241

00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,610

卢克小可爱  别挡路

Luke? Sweetie, that means stay out of everyone's way

 

242

00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:28,510

也别吸氢气

and stop inhaling the balloons.

 

243

00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,230

我哪有吸氢气

I'm not inhaling them.

 

244

00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,330

少撒谎了

Stop lying.

 

245

00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,440

她怎么发现的

How did she know?

 

246

00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:41,740

妈妈有没教你  别坐陌生人的车

Didn't your mama teach you never to take a ride from a stranger?

 

247

00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,800

快放假了吧

Got a little vacation time coming up?

 

248

00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:45,820

上月球好好玩吧

Have fun on the moon!

 

249

00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:47,620

最近身体不爽是吗

Not feeling too well lately?

 

250

00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,040

来看看医生

Maybe you should come see the doctor...

 

251

00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,850

哥帮你解决

and I'll get rid of it!

 

252

00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,240

你瞎嚷嚷啥呢

What's that supposed to mean?

 

253

00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:01,220

请注意  参加菲尔生日派对的朋友们

Attention. If you're here for Phil's birthday party,

 

254

00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:03,290

请到野餐区集合

they're gathering in the picnic area.

 

255

00:11:03,450 --> 00:11:05,070

菲尔的生日派对

Phil's birthday party.

 

256

00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:07,060

我老婆知道我会来这

My wife knew I'd be here.

 

257

00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:09,060

给我准备了派对哎

She put together a whole party for me.

 

258

00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:11,600

这能弥补iPad的事儿吗

Does that really make up for not getting an iPad?

 

259

00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,800

我跟你交心了  你可别挑拨我们

Don't make me sorry I shared that with you. Okay?

 

260

00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,940

拜啦各位

See you, fellas.

 

261

00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,950

侬好呀

Howdy-do!

 

262

00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:25,450

广播说菲尔的生日派对在这

I just heard the announcement for Phil's birthday party.

 

263

00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:27,400

对的  拐弯就是

Oh, yeah. It's right around the corner.

 

264

00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,610

-太棒了  -好好玩

- Awesome. - Have fun!

 

265

00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:30,500

谢谢你  美女

Thank you. Thanks, my lady.

 

266

00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:39,030

冰激凌蛋糕吗  真棒

Ice-cream cake? Ice-cream cake's good.

 

267

00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,950

菲尔  生日快乐

Happy birthday, Phil!

 

268

00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,360

太帅了

This is awesome!

 

269

00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,570

-生日快乐  -生日快乐

- Happy birthday! - Happy birthday!

 

270

00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,040

生日快乐  宝贝

Happy birthday, sweetie.

 

271

00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,660

-生日快乐  -玩得开心呀

- Happy birthday. - Have a really good birthday.

 

272

00:11:54,790 --> 00:11:57,120

-看到蛋糕了吗  -超棒的

- Did you see the cake? - Oh, yeah. It's great.

 

273

00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:01,040

Hello?

 

274

00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:03,810

没事  我哄小孩睡觉呢

No, that's fine, I'm just putting the baby down.

 

275

00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,350

那是杰克  出轨的那个

Okay, that's Jake. He's the one that's having an affair.

 

276

00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:09,020

-我知道的  -明晚没问题

- I know. - Yeah, I can do it tomorrow night.

 

277

00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,190

向我老婆编个谎就行

I'll just give my wife some excuse.

 

278

00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:13,800

混蛋汉子

Men are pigs.

 

279

00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,620

-那也没办法  -有呀

- I don't really have a choice, do I? - Yeah.

 

280

00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:17,720

别劈腿不行吗

You could not cheat on her! How about that?

 

281

00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,670

我得给她个惊喜嘛

Because it has to be a surprise.

 

282

00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,940

等我跟她外婆说起意大利语

When she hears me speaking Italian to her grandmother,

 

283

00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:24,170

我偷偷摸摸这么长时间也值了

it'll be worth all this sneaking around.

 

284

00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:26,330

莉莉  我猜错了  他是个好男人啊

Lily, I had it backwards. He's wonderful.

 

285

00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,220

别担心  我就说要加班

Don't worry. I'll just tell her I'm working late.

 

286

00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:29,390

不行杰克  别那么说

No, Jake, don't do that.

 

287

00:12:29,390 --> 00:12:30,960

说加班你就惨了

That's the worst thing you could do.

 

288

00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:31,940

晚安啦[意大利语]

Buonanotte.

 

289

00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:33,950

坏了莉莉  我们要怎么办

Oh, no, Lily, what are we gonna do?

 

290

00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,610

得帮帮他们啊

We have to fix this.

 

291

00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:38,990

米奇尔  我就教你几招

Okay, Mitchell, I'm gonna teach you

 

292

00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:41,540

基本的巴西柔术吧

a couple of basic Brazilian jiu-jitsu moves.

 

293

00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:44,750

现在  来打我

Now, just attack me.

 

294

00:12:45,060 --> 00:12:46,070

什么

I'm sorry- What?

 

295

00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:48,300

释放你内心的怨恨

Take any deep-seated anger you may have,

 

296

00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,710

冲过来打我吧

get a running start and come at me.

 

297

00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:51,170

老爸  我没记恨过你啊

Dad, I don't have any deep-seated anger.

 

298

00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,430

记得那次万圣节

Remember that Halloween when 

 

299

00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:54,030

我不让你扮奥利维亚·纽顿-约翰吗

I wouldn't let you go as Olivia Newton-John?

 

300

00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:58,810

懂了吧  借力打力

You see what I did? I used your momentum against you.

 

301

00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,650

格雷西柔术创始人教我的

I learned this choke from the Gracie brothers.

 

302

00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:02,780

这招叫"伏狮锁"

It's called the lion killer- mata lella.

 

303

00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,080

-懂  -试试挣脱  挣一下

- Okay. - Now try to get out. Try to get out.

 

304

00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,900

-难不  -挣不开

- See? - I can't.

 

305

00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,500

挣不开就对了

Yeah, all right. Now-

 

306

00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,880

-我要晕了  -这招就厉害在

- Passing out... - See, the beauty of this is,

 

307

00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,430

你不用贸然攻击

you don't have to make the first move.

 

308

00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,470

对手可能会轻敌嘛

You know, chances are your opponent's gonna be overconfident.

 

309

00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:16,960

以为你是个菜鸟

He's gonna think you don't know anything.

 

310

00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,450

反而被骗  就显得很二

Basically, he's being suckered into thinking-

 

311

00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:23,440

曼尼  曼尼这小子耍我

Manny. Manny, that little bastard, he hustled me.

 

312

00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,380

Oh, crap.

 

313

00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:29,430

糟了  米奇尔

Ah, crap. Mitchell!

 

314

00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:34,150

得  吸气  加油

Oh, crap. All right. Come on. Breathe.

 

315

00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,170

好小子  快醒来

Attaboy. You all right? Coming around.

 

316

00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,100

-我怎么趴地上了  -醒过来  米奇尔

- Why am I on the floor?-  Come on, Mitchell.

 

317

00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:43,840

海莉  我又没买着

Haley, I just struck out again.

 

318

00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,660

拜托给点好消息

Please tell me you have some good news.

 

319

00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:47,130

格氏又进了一批货

Okay, so The Grove just got a new shipment.

 

320

00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,670

我短信你地址

I'm texting you the directions now.

 

321

00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:52,220

很好  很好  真棒真棒

Oh! Okay, that's good. That's good. That's good.

 

322

00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,530

我这就去  立刻滚去

I'm there. I'm on that.

 

323

00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:01,320

那小子把我手表骗走了

That kid stole my watch.

 

324

00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,300

-啥  -什么

- Huh? - What?

 

325

00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,010

他骗我跟他下棋

He hustled me at chess.

 

326

00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:07,070

你不是保证让他赢吗

I thought you promised you were gonna let him win.

 

327

00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:09,730

-我让他赢了一盘  -等等  你也知道

- I did the first time. - Wait a minute. You're in on it too?

 

328

00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:11,820

曼尼  换派对衣服去

Manny, go and get dressed for the party.

 

329

00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:13,160

能洗个澡吗

Do I have time for a steam?

 

330

00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:14,870

-行  但要快  -好

- Yeah, but a quick one. - Okay.

 

331

00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,770

干嘛叫他输给我

Why tell him to lose to me?

 

332

00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:18,910

你一输棋就发小孩脾气

Because you're like a baby when you don't win.

 

333

00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:20,750

乱踢东西  皱眉头

With the kicking and the eyebrows...

 

334

00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:23,110

还狂吃瓜子

and the angry eating of the sunflower seeds.

 

335

00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,230

不是那样的

Actually, that's not true.

 

336

00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:29,100

输给小天才  我怎么会不服气呢

I don't mind losing to a chess genius, which Manny obviously is.

 

337

00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,340

他天才  他还没我下得好呢

Chess genius? He's not even as good as I am.

 

338

00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:32,390

你下棋不怎么样啊

You're not that good in chess.

 

339

00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:34,950

-蜜月那次输给我了啊  -我让你的

- I beat you on our honeymoon. - Or did I let you win?

 

340

00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:36,230

你才没让我

You didn't let me win.

 

341

00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:41,240

我干嘛要把皇后送入你的魔爪  杰

Why would I sacrifice my queen for your pawn, Jay?

 

342

00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,980

别哼了

Stop saying that.

 

343

00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:57,880

卢克  宝贝  怎么了

Luke, honey, hi. What's going on?

 

344

00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,700

老爸的蛋糕送来了

They guy came with Dad's cake,

 

345

00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:01,770

可它缺了一块

but just so you know, it's missing a piece.

 

346

00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,650

-你偷吃老爸蛋糕了吗  -没啊

- Luke, did you take a bite out of your father's cake? - No.

 

347

00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:07,220

-别撒谎  卢克  -我哪有

- Stop lying, Luke. - I'm not lying.

 

348

00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:09,820

哦对  我用你的卡付了钱

By the way, I used your credit card to pay him.

 

349

00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:10,840

没问题吧

Is that all right?

 

350

00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,680

没问题啊 

Oh, no, that's fine. 

 

351

00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,100

我把钱包留给你们就是为这个的嘛

Whatever. That's why I left the wallet there.

 

352

00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:17,390

上帝啊

Oh, my God.

 

353

00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,740

上帝啊

Oh, my God!

 

354

00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:23,210

我把钱包留家里了

I left the wallet there! I left the wa- 

 

355

00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:24,590

你可怜的老爸

Your poor father.

 

356

00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,390

我们乱成一团

All this running around,

 

357

00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:28,100

他肯定以为没人在乎他生日

and he's gonna think nobody cares about him on his birthday.

 

358

00:15:28,350 --> 00:15:29,180

再来点蛋糕吗

More cake?

 

359

00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:31,430

行啊  小菲尔

Why not, Little Phil?

 

360

00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:33,380

反正我也没地儿去

I got no place else to go.

 

361

00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,380

先生  先生  打扰你了

Sir! Sir! Sir, hi. Excuse me.

 

362

00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,030

我有点唐突

Um, yes. I know this is highly unusual,

 

363

00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,850

但我需要你帮忙  挽救一段婚姻

but I need your help to save a marriage.

 

364

00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,510

这附近有对夫妇

There is a couple in this neighborhood...

 

365

00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:57,200

就因为一个小误会  快要离婚了

that is about to get a divorce for a simple misunderstanding.

 

366

00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,930

他们叫杰克和黛比

Their name is Jake and Debbie.

 

367

00:15:58,930 --> 00:16:00,810

我知道您宣过誓

And I know you've taken an oath...

 

368

00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:02,810

不能泄露他人住址

to not tell people where other people live, 

 

369

00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:03,690

我也尊重您

and I respect that,

 

370

00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:05,150

但我们能不能想办法

but maybe we could work out some sort of

 

371

00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:06,710

设计一套暗号

super secretive spy signal,

 

372

00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,650

比如你挠左耳

where if you scratch your left ear,

 

373

00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:09,870

暗示我他们住在左手边

you know, maybe they live on the left,

 

374

00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:11,340

如果挠右耳  就是...

and if you scratch your right ear, they live on-

 

375

00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:12,690

就住这

They live right here.

 

376

00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,820

我不会说出去的

This conversation never happened.

 

377

00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:23,760

-抱歉晚了  -感谢上帝

- Sorry. - Oh, thank God!

 

378

00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,200

谢谢你  谢谢

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

 

379

00:16:26,050 --> 00:16:27,380

老爸把我整晕了

Dad just put me to sleep.

 

380

00:16:27,380 --> 00:16:29,040

他给你讲催眠的打猎故事了吧

The hunting story.

 

381

00:16:29,350 --> 00:16:30,560

不是啦

Hmm. No.

 

382

00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,300

老天  你可不能插队  对不起

Oh, my gosh, no. You can't cut the line. Sorry.

 

383

00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:35,060

-我本来就排这  -哪有

- I was here. - Uh-uh.

 

384

00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,200

我排了一个半小时

I-I've been here for an hour and a half

 

385

00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,310

都没看见你  你这是插队

and you haven't been, so you cut the line.

 

386

00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:41,900

-你管我  -这位先生

- Whatever. - Whoa. Excuse me, sir.

 

387

00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,230

您好像没弄清楚

I don't think you understand.

 

388

00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:44,350

你不可以插队的

You're not getting in front of us.

 

389

00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:45,800

淡定点啦  红毛小子

Calm down, gingerbread.

 

390

00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:49,960

-你走还是不走  -不走

- Are you gonna move or not? - No.

 

391

00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,750

别啊

Oh, no.

 

392

00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:53,870

那我别无选择

Then you leave me no choice.

 

393

00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:55,670

上帝啊

Oh, my God.

 

394

00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,260

晕吧你

Go to sleep.

 

395

00:16:57,870 --> 00:16:59,930

快点  快晕过去

Go to sleep. Go to sleep.

 

396

00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:00,670

没晕啊

No.

 

397

00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,370

-米奇尔你干什么  放开他  -闭嘴

- Mitchell, what are you doing? Get off of him. - Shut up.

 

398

00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,550

-他就要晕了  -才没有呢

- He's about to go to sleep. - No, I'm not.

 

399

00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:07,600

请不要打架  三位请出列

Okay, folks. Break this up. You three- out of line.

 

400

00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,940

抱歉先生  我和他们无关

Oh, no. I'm sorry, sir. I didn't have anything to do with this.

 

401

00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:11,820

我只是排队买iPad而已

I'm just waiting in line to get an iPad.

 

402

00:17:11,820 --> 00:17:13,570

我都不认识他

I don't even know this guy.

 

403

00:17:13,570 --> 00:17:14,670

老天  我得用你的信用卡

Oh, my God. I need your credit card.

 

404

00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,050

-是他挑事  -闭嘴  你怎么还不晕

- He's the problem. - Shut up! You're supposed to be asleep.

 

405

00:17:17,050 --> 00:17:18,410

-没事我拿到了  -放开我

- It's okay. I have it. - Get off!

 

406

00:17:18,410 --> 00:17:19,580

-我拿到了  -什么

- I've got it. - What?

 

407

00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,830

你的卡  我没犯事  没犯事

I've got your card. I'm good. No, I'm good.

 

408

00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:23,980

我排在这呢  这儿

I'm good. I'm here. I'm here!

 

409

00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:26,230

我要给我老公买iPad啊

I've gotta get my husband an iPad!

 

410

00:17:26,550 --> 00:17:29,640

生日快乐的秘诀就是  别期待太多

Key to a good birthday? Low expectations.

 

411

00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,720

我以为能有iPad  期待错了

Thought I was getting an iPad. I was wrong about that.

 

412

00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:36,000

以为球场有惊喜派对

Thought I was getting a surprise party at the batting cages.

 

413

00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,130

不好意思  大菲尔

Sorry, Big Phil.

 

414

00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,190

我觉得  说到底

Guess when it comes right down to it,

 

415

00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,820

我就跟被踢中蛋蛋的杰夫·斯威尼一样

we're all just Jeff Sweeney taking a fastball to the plums.

 

416

00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:50,050

老爸  蛋糕掉地下了

Hey, um, Dad, your cake fell off the counter,

 

417

00:17:50,050 --> 00:17:51,910

但小卡舅夫正补救呢

but Uncle Cam's trying to fix it.

 

418

00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:52,890

他只会偷吃掉

He won't.

 

419

00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,780

披萨一直都没送来

And the pizzas never showed up.

 

420

00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:57,440

没来就没来呗

And they won't!

 

421

00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,760

基情小气球啊

Hey, balloons.

 

422

00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,300

得  反正没法知道了

Fine. I guess we'll never know.

 

423

00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:02,820

要么现在见分晓

Or we can find out right now.

 

424

00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:05,110

曼尼  棋盘给我

Yeah, Manny, give me the chess set.

 

425

00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:07,030

-送我棋盘啊  -待会再给你

- Oh, it's a chess set. - Yeah. You'll get it later.

 

426

00:18:07,030 --> 00:18:08,270

我们得决一死战

We got something to settle now.

 

427

00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:10,360

-往里走  - 生日快乐  菲尔

- Go in there. - Happy birthday, Phil.

 

428

00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,760

一定快乐哟

Happy happy.

 

429

00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,630

好香  克莱尔烤了干酪吗

Is that Claire's baked brie I smell?

 

430

00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,180

No.

 

431

00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,200

小卡小卡  你不会相信的

Oh, Cam, Cam, you'll never believe what happened.

 

432

00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,690

-生日快乐  菲尔  -当然啦

- Happy birthday, Phil! - Sure!

 

433

00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:23,620

你绝不会相信的

You'll never believe what happened.

 

434

00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:24,990

我和人打架了

I got in trouble for fighting.

 

435

00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:26,770

我们还挽救了一段婚姻

And we saved a marriage.

 

436

00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:29,160

-今天真是史上最棒  -没错

- Well, this is the best day ever. - It really is.

 

437

00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,330

可不是嘛

Ain't it though?

 

438

00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,720

宝贝  看我这招

Look at this, papi, huh?

 

439

00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:38,980

淡定

Easy.

 

440

00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,050

别唱《冠军之歌》[皇后乐队名曲]

You can't sing "We Are the Champions"...

 

441

00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,370

你的皇后都没了

without your queen.

 

442

00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,510

该死  要是我输了  我就烧掉这房子

Damn it! Listen, I lose and I burn this house down!

 

443

00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:51,890

-看这儿  -亲爱的  亲爱的

- Ah, but look at this... - Honey, honey.

 

444

00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,880

我们闹什么呢  太滑稽了

What are we doing? This is ridiculous.

 

445

00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:55,990

我们总有个要赢

One of us is gonna win the game,

 

446

00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:58,460

另一个就不爽  只会两败俱伤

the other's gonna feel lousy, and we both lose.

 

447

00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:04,730

成啊  把我的礼物扔地上吧

Yeah, just leave my birthday present on the floor.

 

448

00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:06,550

好老婆  她已经赢定了

That's my girl. She had me.

 

449

00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:09,020

我没戏了  我知道的

There was no way I could win. I knew it.

 

450

00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:11,040

幸好她不知道

I'm just glad she didn't know it yet.

 

451

00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,110

只需两步  就能杀他个...

Two moves, and then-

 

452

00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,300

我可是个下棋高手

I'm a very good chess player.

 

453

00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:17,170

但我更是个好老婆

But I'm a better wife.

 

454

00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,520

-买到了吗  -没有

- Hey, did you get it? - No.

 

455

00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,910

-爸爸怎么样  -古怪  更古怪了

- How's your dad? - Acting weird... er.

 

456

00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,370

-老婆  -亲爱的

- Hey, wife. - Honey, hi.

 

457

00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:29,530

-是这样  -妈妈

- Um, listen... - Mom.

 

458

00:19:29,530 --> 00:19:30,860

卢克  等会再说

Yeah, Luke, hang on one second.

 

459

00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:33,570

老婆  没关系啦  我已经没感觉了

Honey, it's okay. I don't feel things anymore.

 

460

00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:35,560

-可我想让你...  -妈妈

- But, sweetie, I want you to feel... - Mom!

 

461

00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:38,270

卢克我一会就来  你上哪去

Luke, I'll be with you in just a second. Where are you going?

 

462

00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:40,770

去院子里拿铲子  清理我的蛋糕

Just heading out to the yard to get a shovel for my cake.

 

463

00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:43,040

-老妈  -卢克你要干嘛

- Mom. - Luke, what do you want?

 

464

00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,740

我上了老爸的电脑

I went on Dad's computer,

 

465

00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:47,050

联系了他的宅男网友们

contacted some of his geek friends,

 

466

00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:48,840

说老爸快死了

told them that he was dying 

 

467

00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,110

有个iPad才能瞑目

and his last wish was an iPad.

 

468

00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:52,730

卢克  我怎么教你的

Luke, what have I told you about-

 

469

00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:55,610

有个人很同情  就送来台多余的

One of them felt so bad, they brought over an extra.

 

470

00:19:56,850 --> 00:20:00,540

上帝啊  你拿到了  你这个乖仔撒谎精

Oh, my God. You got it. You beautiful little liar!

 

471

00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,760

老爸回来了

Here comes Dad.

 

472

00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:12,160

谁想吃蛋糕呀

Who wants some cake?

 

473

00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,480

我之前想  可我不想吃...

I used to, but I don't desire food any-

 

474

00:20:14,850 --> 00:20:16,780

老天  你买到了

Oh, my God. You got it!

 

475

00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,260

我说了半天不在乎

All this time I said I didn't care,

 

476

00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,140

可我真想要  超想要的

but I do care. I care so much!

 

477

00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:21,630

-想吹蜡烛吗  -好

- Do you want to blow out the candles? - Yes.

 

478

00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:24,040

吹吧  使劲

Go on. Go.

 

479

00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,860

居然真能吹灭

It did not just do that!

 

480

00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:28,860

-是真的  -老婆我爱你

- Yes, it did! - Honey!

 

481

00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:33,290

瞧这刚出炉热乎乎的iPad啊

Oh, who's ready for the first day of the rest of their lives?

 

482

00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:35,600

-菲尔  生日快乐  -看啊

- Phil, happy birthday! - Look at this!

 

483

00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,890

-我能摸摸吗  -摸  别掐  摸摸

- Can I touch it? - Yeah, not so hard, but touch it.

 

484

00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:41,820

摸它  别摸  摸  别摸

Touch it, but don't touch it. Touch it, but don't touch it.

 

485

00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,390

对不起  我不该怀疑你

I'm so sorry I ever doubted you.

 

486

00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:48,680

我爱你

I love you. 

 

487

00:20:48,890 --> 00:20:50,420

感谢上帝送来了那个人

Thank God that guy came over.

 

488

00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:51,760

他叫什么来着

What did he say his name was?

 

489

00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,760

他没说  肯定是位天使

He didn't. Must be an angel.

 

490

00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,420

听到了吗  说我是天使呢

Did you hear that? I'm an angel.

 

491

00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:58,190

-或者是个变态  -对啊

- Or some creepy perv. - Yeah.

 

492

00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,600

他怎么知道的  恶心

How did he know? Eww. 

 

493

00:21:02,430 --> 00:21:05,040

-我该报警吗  -没错  报警吧

- Maybe I should call the police. - You should call the police.

 

494

00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,590

-这就报  -他们从此幸福地生活在一起

- I'm gonna call the police. - And they lived happily ever after.

 

495

00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:10,470

别啊小卡  你上哪去  才刚开始精彩

No, Cam. Where are you going? It was just getting good.

 

496

00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,260

我想听  多好的节目

I want- That's my program.

 

497

00:21:14,670 --> 00:21:15,690

我爱你

I love you.

 

498

00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:18,880

-我也爱你  亲爱的  -好吧

- I love you too, honey. - Oh. Okay.

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