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听美剧学英语-摩登家庭第三季 第17集:2月29日

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2018年09月05日

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00:04.76, Come on, boys! 孩子们起床了
00:06.36, It's leap day, not sleep day! 今儿个可是闰日 不是困日
00:10.60, I love leap day! 我超爱闰日
00:13.28, It's kind of a big deal in the Dunphy house. 算是邓菲家的重大节日吧
00:15.09, This year, we even got Manny involved. 今年我们甚至把曼尼都拉进来了
00:16.73, You're given this gift of 24 extra hours. 老天赐予你多出来的24小时
00:19.38, You can't waste it at work or school. 可不能浪费在工作或学习上
00:21.14, You have to do something extraordinary, 得用来做些非同寻常的事
00:22.88, something shocking. 令人震惊的事
00:24.93, This year, the entire family is taking a trapeze class. 今年 我们全家要去学习玩"空中飞人"
00:28.45, How extraordinary is that? 非同寻常吧
00:29.75, It was my idea. 那可是我的主意
00:30.69, How shocking is that? 震惊吧
00:31.87, I can be spontaneous every four years. 每隔四年我都会心血来潮一次
00:34.21, I can't wait. 我都等不及了
00:35.68, Leap day is stupid. 闰日什么的傻爆了
00:37.15, You're not understanding the logic behind it. 你没有理解其背后的因果关系
00:39.55, A year is actually 365.25 days. 一年实际上有365.25天
00:43.41, Every four years, we gain one day. 所以每隔四年 就会多出一天
00:45.62, If we didn't adjust the calendar in, say, 40 years, 如果不靠闰日来调整的话 大约40年后
00:48.31, February would almost be January. 二月就变成一月了
00:51.15, That's not my problem, and it's definitely not your problem. 关我屁事 关你屁事
00:54.88, Look at this. 看看
00:55.52, The housekeeper turned another one of my whites pink. 家政又把我的白衣服染成粉红了
00:58.43, I can't wear this to a sports bar. 我不能穿着这个去运动酒吧
01:00.38, Mm, they're not going to be looking at you, Jay. 群众的目光又不会在你身上 杰
01:02.49, Somebody's feeling pretty good about herself. 某人自我感觉相当良好哦
01:04.23, They're going to be watching the match. 他们关注的是比赛
01:06.57, You meant you a little bit. 你还是暗指了一下自己吧
01:09.71, Okay, put it in there. 好 插在这里
01:11.13, All right, very quietly, 好了 悄悄的哦
01:12.37, we're gonna go to daddy's bedroom, open the door, 我们要去二爸的卧室 打开门
01:18.94, Happy birthday to me. 祝我生日快乐
01:20.48, - I'm 10! - 40! 我满10岁了-是40岁
01:23.09, I was born February 29th, 我生在2月29日
01:24.61, and there have been ten of those... in my lifetime, 至今为止这日子出现过10次
01:27.15, therefore I'm 10! 所以人家才10岁
01:28.75, It's fun. 太好玩了
01:29.66, It's so much fun. 相当好玩
01:31.63, Anyway, I-I've spent the last four years 总之 我这四年都在琢磨
01:33.91, trying to figure to what kind of party to throw this one. 为我家老公办什么样的派对
01:36.04, Oh, honey, you know I'd be fine 亲爱的 你知道
01:37.35, with just a nice casual evening at home with you. 能和你在家随便过一晚我就很满足了
01:39.42, Don't--don't even. 别 可别这么说
01:40.86, No. No! That's what he said last time. 他上次就来这一套
01:44.66, Okay, birthday boy, what's it gonna be-- 好 小寿星 要看什么呢
01:47.06, Rom com or horror? 爱情喜剧片还是恐怖片
01:48.70, Or we can do both and watch "Maid in Manhattan." 或者是兼具这两种风格的《女佣变凤凰》
01:51.17, Whatcha doing? 你干嘛
01:52.31, Canceling our baby. 我不要跟你一起养孩子了
02:07.53, Okay, love to dad. Bye! Mwah! 行 向爸爸问好 拜
02:13.06, Daddy, what are you doing? 二爸 你在干嘛
02:14.71, Yeah, daddy, what are you doing? 是啊 二爸 你干什么呢
02:17.00, Snooping for hints about your birthday? 在偷找你生日派对的线索吗
02:20.86, No, I'm just excited, and I wanna be helpful. 不 人家只是太兴奋了 想帮帮忙嘛
02:23.54, I know party planning isn't your thing. 我知道你不擅长策划派对什么的
02:26.77, Y-you need to trust me, Cam. 你得对我有点信心 小卡
02:28.54, I know, and I do. 我知道 我真的信任你
02:30.21, It's not like you're gonna do anything tired, 反正你也"不会"弄什么过时的东西
02:32.23, like appletinis or ice sculptures. 比如苹果马提尼啊 冰雕啊
02:33.98, Or synthetic napkins or anything mylar. 或者是合成纤维餐巾 聚酯产品之类
02:35.61, Cam, that's enough! 够了 小卡
02:36.81, I've been paying for your last party for four years. 这四年来我都在为上次的派对赎罪
02:39.10, And I find it a little insulting 而且你不相信我能
02:40.91, that you don't think I can pull this off. 办好这派对 有点侮辱人呢
02:42.67, You know what? 好吧
02:44.48, I trust you. I'm letting go. 我相信你 我放手不管了
02:46.34, Okay.-Okay? 好吧-好吗
02:48.41, You know orange is over, right? 你知道橘色已经不流行了 对吧
02:49.58, It's a simple party. I can do it. 不过是个简单的派对 我干得来
02:51.34, Simple. 简单
02:53.20, Perfect. 好极了
02:55.13, Yeah, just a simple party. 没错 只是一个"简单的"派对
02:57.23, I'm simply taking Cam's favorite movie, "The wizard of Oz," 我"简单地"选了小卡最爱的电影《绿野仙踪》
03:00.72, and turning our house into an oz-themed extravaganza-- 把家里变身为绿野仙踪主题嘉年华
03:03.86, Yellow brick carpet, waitstaff in full costume, 黄砖图案的地毯 身着戏装的招待
03:07.32, and custom-made ruby slippers for Cam. 以及为小卡量身打造的红宝石鞋
03:09.57, Whazzup?! 帅吧
03:11.27, So is this safe? 那活动安全吗
03:12.73, It's a trapeze. 不过是个"空中飞人"
03:13.60, Relax. More people are killed by knife-wielding strangers 放轻松 "空中飞人"比被陌生人持刀杀害
03:16.64, than from trapezing. 死得少多了
03:18.56, I'm thinking about going home now. 我有点想直接回家宅着了
03:26.79, Honey, are you okay? 亲爱的 你还好吧
03:28.47, I'm fine. 我没事
03:30.24, I'm watching... 我在看
03:31.44, It's so sad. 太催泪了
03:35.13, Oh, no. Not today. 天啊 可别在今天啊
03:37.63, What's wrong? 怎么了
03:38.46, Nothing. No, your mom's just, uh... 没事 你妈只是
03:40.92, feeling emotional. 情绪有点激动而已
03:41.76, She was like this last month and the month before 她上个月这时候就这德行 上上个月也是
03:44.81, and the month before. 上上上个月也是
03:45.95, What?! I could kill someone! 啥 老娘要杀人了
03:47.70, No, I can't hear you! 我听不见你说话
03:49.25, This stupid phone gets no reception in this stupid house! Aah! 这傻缺电话在这破房子里收不到信号
03:54.83, Dear god, no. 苍天啊 不会吧
03:56.14, I'd heard rumors. 我听过传言
03:57.84, Yeah, we all had, 没错 大家都听说过
03:59.91, that females living or working in close quarters 女人们在一起工作生活
04:02.20, could eventually get on the same... cycle. 最后经期就会变得一致
04:05.04, But I always assumed that was a story designed 不过我一直以为这说法是编来
04:06.90, to keep women out of submarine corps. 阻止女性加入潜艇部队的
04:11.66, This isn't milk. What's wrong with me today? 这不是牛奶 我今天到底怎么了
04:13.82, My brain's not working right. 大脑都不正常运转了
04:15.49, No. 不会吧
04:16.92, I can't focus... 我没法集中
04:19.43, Three legs? 三条腿
04:21.05, It's not fair. 太不公平了
04:22.34, I know. 我就说嘛
04:23.36, Oh, no! It's sad. 太催泪了
04:25.23, Oh, my god. They're gonna ruin everything. 我的天 这下乐子全被她们毁了
04:27.36, No. We--we just need to be extra sensitive. 没有的事 咱们多长点心眼就行
04:30.19, Phil, honey, when do we need to leave? 菲尔 亲爱的 什么时候出发
04:31.88, Whenever's good for you, sweetie. Maybe 20 minutes? 你准备好就行 亲爱的 20分钟后好吗
04:34.26, - 20 minutes?! - Then which one is it, Phil? -20分钟 -给个准话好吗 菲尔
04:35.66, Is it whenever it's good for me or is it 20 minutes?! 是等我准备好还是20分钟后
04:38.99, Whenever you're ready! 你们准备好就行
04:40.82, It happened-- Satan's trifecta. 该来的还是来了 那些年一起来的大姨妈
04:43.34, The day I most dreaded had fallen on the day I most loved. 我最恐惧的一天 降临在了我最爱的这一天
04:50.71, They're gonna ruin trapezing. 她们会毁了这次"空中飞人"
04:52.07, I bet they don't even catch me. 我打赌她们已经有点错乱了
04:53.93, Why are you so afraid of them? They're reasonable. 你这么害怕干嘛 她们都是通情达理的人
04:56.34, Why don't we just suggest they stay home, 不如建议让她们待在家里
04:57.90, - considering they're all on their menst-- - Shh! 好好招待大姨...-嘘
05:00.12, The first rule of dealing with the cycle-- 对付大姨妈的第一要点是
05:02.23, You never mention the cycle. 绝口不提那仨字
05:03.57, You tiptoe around it. 要旁敲侧击打埋伏
05:05.63, The woman's actually taken great pains 女人要承受异常的苦痛
05:07.58, to hide the monster she's become. 来压制身体里的魔鬼
05:09.87, But if you acknowledge it, that brings the monster forth. 但要是说出真相 那魔鬼拦都拦不住了
05:13.00, My god. 老天
05:14.55, And there's three of them. 一来就是三只啊
05:16.09, It's okay. 没事的
05:17.98, I have a plan. 我有个计划
05:20.24, It's kind of traditional for people to lean in 通常有人说"我有个计划"时
05:22.89, when somebody says, "I have a plan." 大家就应该前倾围过来的
05:26.47, Okay... 好的
05:27.28, Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! 好 好 好 好
05:31.53, Ooh! No! 不要啊
05:32.65, Si! Si! Si! Si! 冲 冲 冲 冲
05:34.71, Goal! 进了
05:37.03, Goal! 进了
05:39.47, You should call your country "The Never-lands" 你应该管你们国家叫"荷烂"
05:41.93, - Because you're never-- - Ja, because we are never going to win. 因为你们永远不可...-对 因为我们永远不可能赢
05:44.12, You said that a billion times. 你都说了无数遍了
05:45.61, Just go home. 回家洗洗睡吧
05:46.85, Why don't you Dutch people go home? 你这荷兰佬干嘛不回家洗洗睡
05:49.22, Someone should shut your Colombian mouth! 闭上你的哥伦比亚大嘴巴吧
05:51.51, - Okay, I wanna see you try! - Uh, is there a problem over here? 有本事试试看-有什么问题吗
05:53.97, Yes. There is a problem, and you're married to her. 没错 大问题 你娶的就是个大问题
05:56.61, Really? Well, let me make a suggestion. 是吗 我倒是有个提议
05:59.76, Why don't you sit down, I send you over a beer, 你好好坐着 我请你喝杯啤酒
06:01.91, my wife and I watch from over there? 我和我妻子坐到那边看
06:03.43, That way, everybody enjoys the game-- 这样就皆大欢喜了
06:05.33, Except me, 'cause I prefer a game where something happens. 除了我 因为我更喜欢看激烈点的比赛
06:08.49, Gloria, let's go. 歌洛莉亚 我们走
06:10.87, Let's go. 走吧
06:14.04, I thought you were going to punch that guy back there. 我还以为你刚刚要揍那家伙呢
06:16.48, Ah, I got 60 pounds on the kid. 我比那孩子壮60磅呢
06:18.28, Yeah. It's just that I've heard so many stories about you fighting. 也对 只是听过很多关于你的英勇事迹
06:22.29, And-- it's not worth the trouble. 为这点小事没必要的
06:23.98, Yeah, and he has all those friends and... 对啊 他那儿还有一大帮朋友
06:26.53, Well, his friends had nothing to do with it. 跟人多人少没关系
06:28.03, I mean, sometimes it's better to take the high road. 有时候 得饶人处且饶人嘛
06:30.09, Yeah, it's better that you walked away. 当缩头乌龟是挺好的
06:33.46, Gloria, I get-- I get the impression 歌洛莉亚 我感觉你
06:34.62, - you're disappointed I didn't punch that guy. - Of course not. 对我没出手有点失望-哪有的事
06:37.07, Who needs all that manly, protect-your-woman stuff? 谁在乎那些为媳妇不顾一切的爷们气概啊
06:40.98, No, see, like, right there. You're saying one thing, 不是 你看你又这样 嘴上说一套
06:43.12, but it feels like you mean the opposite. 心里想的完全相反
06:44.69, - No. - That's a "Yes." 没有-那就是有
06:46.69, Look, Jay, I just came to watch the game. 听着 杰 我就是来看球赛的
06:49.02, - I don't want to fight. - Neither do I. -我可不想跟人吵 -我也不想[打架
06:51.85, I know. 我就知道
06:53.99, So in keeping with the film, 为了与电影场景一致
06:55.51, this area will be in black and white, 这部分要变成黑白
06:57.15, and then an explosion of technicolor. 然后这边就是明快的彩色
07:00.47, Best part--as the guests are coming in... 最棒的部分 宾客一进来
07:03.03, Auntie Em! Auntie Em! 埃姆婶婶 埃姆婶婶[片中台词
07:06.07, A simulated tornado. 模拟龙卷风是也
07:07.60, Yeah. Oh, he's gonna love that. 真好 他一定会爱死的
07:09.25, - So the appletinis are canceled... - Yes. 苹果马提尼不要了-没错
07:11.06, The little Toto dog is ordered, and... 小狗托托也订好了 还有
07:13.04, Please tell me that you are not mixing punch in costume! 别告诉我你穿着戏服还捣鼓潘趣酒呢
07:18.00, Oh, no! W-what is Cam doing home? 不是吧 小卡回家干嘛
07:21.82, Hey.-Hey. 你好-你好
07:23.01, We're the monkeys. 我们来扮猴子的
07:23.51, Yes, hi. Hi. Come on inside. Quickly, quickly. 你们好 请进 快点 快点
07:26.22, Hi. Okay, one second. 你好 等会就来
07:28.75, Hey! Whatcha doing home? 回来干嘛啊
07:30.35, Are you checking on me and the party again? 你又不放心我 回来检查派对情况吗
07:31.82, No, no. I left my cell phone in your car 没有 我把手机落你车里了
07:33.47, and I gotta be in touch with mama today. 一会儿还得跟我妈联系呢
07:34.59, She's talking to the insurance agency for the first time 她今天第一次跟保险公司谈
07:36.75, to see if they're gonna rebuild grandpa's farm. 看看他们能不能重建爷爷的农场
07:38.96, Rebuild the... 重建
07:40.85, Because of the tornado. 因为龙卷风
07:42.98, I totally missed the connection. 我完全忘了这茬
07:44.46, A month after the most devastating twister 就在有史以来最具毁灭性的龙卷风
07:46.41, that ever hit Cam's hometown, 席卷小卡家乡一个月后
07:48.54, I throw a party 我筹备了一个
07:49.84, based on gay cinema's most famous tornado. 以同志电影中最著名的龙卷风为主题的派对
07:54.10, Yeah, you know, it's been a month, 是的 都过去一个月了
07:56.26, and she hasn't heard anything, and she's just beside herself. 保险方面还没有任何消息 她都快发疯了
07:59.09, And then you know what else? 你知道还有什么很糟糕吗
08:00.63, Lily succumbed to her injuries. 莉莉因伤去世了
08:02.12, - Your aunt Lily died? - No, the family pig. 你莉莉姨妈去世了-没有 是我家的猪
08:04.58, Aunt Lily was a... 莉莉姨妈是头
08:05.77, We named our daughter after a pig? 咱闺女是以头猪起名的啊
08:07.16, Could you just witness my pain instead of criticizing? 你能不能看看我的伤痛 暂时别抱怨了
08:09.86, I just want to be in touch with my family today. 我今天只想跟家人聊聊
08:11.99, Get all this tornado stuff behind me so I can enjoy... 忘掉该死的龙卷风 这样才能享受
08:15.11, the fabulous party you're planning for me! 你为我准备的超赞派对
08:18.11, Yeah! You gotta get outta here! 没错 赶紧走吧
08:19.53, - Okay. Hey, listen. Hey, Cam? - Yeah? -好的 听着小卡 -咋了
08:21.06, You just call your family, tell them I said "Hi." 你就跟家人叙叙吧 帮我问好
08:23.60, And don't worry about being back at 6:00 on the dot. 也不用急着六点整准时回来啦
08:25.86, There's a little breathing room. 你可以先缓缓
08:26.98, Oh, what, are you kidding me? 什么 没搞错吧
08:28.77, The sooner I can start to party, 派对一嗨起
08:30.10, the sooner I can start to forget. 烦恼全忘掉
08:32.16, But then again. 但再说一遍
08:32.80, Hey, if you keep running from every reminder of the tornado, 如果你逃避跟龙卷风有关的一切
08:35.78, doesn't the tornado win? 那不就败给龙卷风了吗
08:37.22, Mitchell, my grandpa runs to his pickup truck every morning 米奇尔 我爷爷天天早上去看小货车
08:39.30, because he thinks the pitchfork is gonna come back down. 因为他觉得草耙随时会从天掉回
08:41.52, The tornado always wins. 龙卷风是不可战胜的
08:43.90, Okay, well, it's gonna be so much fun tonight! 好了 今晚肯定会非常开心的
08:46.69, I know! The big 1-0! 我知道 10岁大关
08:48.66, 4-0! 40大关啦
08:49.79, Hey, Mitchell! 注意点 米奇尔
08:51.72, - I'm over here! - I could've hit you! 我在这儿-差点撞到你
08:53.45, But you didn't! I'm doing my "I love ya" dance. 但是没撞到 我在跳爱意舞
08:55.28, Okay, I'm doing my "I love you" car dance. 好的 我在开爱意车
08:57.33, Look at you! 瞧你
08:58.60, Stop that! Okay! Go! 别这样 好了 回去吧
09:01.36, This is dangerous. 太危险了
09:02.19, - Okay, okay. - Go. 我不跳了-回去吧
09:03.02, Get out of here, you. 你快开车吧
09:03.88, It's my birthday! 今天我过生日啦
09:07.28, All right, guys, come here. We need to talk. 好了各位 过来 咱们得谈谈
09:13.40, - There they are. - Stop rushing us! 终于来了-别催我们
09:16.04, Buddy, what's wrong? 小家伙 怎么了
09:17.35, Yes, you've been a little off all morning. 是啊 你整个早上都不在状态
09:20.14, I've been feeling a lot of stress lately. 最近我感到特有压力
09:22.43, My head's all foggy, and I'm kind of emotional. 脑袋昏沉沉的 而且有些情绪化
09:24.83, Oh. Well, I sure hope you feel better soon 希望你能很快好起来
09:26.95, cause you really need your wits about you when you're trapezing. 玩"空中飞人"时 头脑要相当的清醒
09:30.51, This is weird because the three of us 真奇怪 因为我们三个
09:32.73, haven't exactly been feeling our best today either. 今天也感觉非常不舒服
09:35.34, Really? 真的吗
09:36.11, I can't find my other sock! 我找不到另一只袜子了
09:37.63, Try looking under the one you have one. 看看是不是穿一只脚上了
09:39.37, I am not you. I don't do that. See? 我不是你 不会这么蠢 看到没
09:43.35, Oh, god, I am you. 天啊 我和你一样蠢
09:45.80, Would you mind if we sat out trapezing? 我们不去玩"空中飞人"了 你不介意吧
09:48.18, Really?-Yeah. 是吗-是啊
09:48.83, Are you sure? Okay. 你确定吗 好的
09:50.53, Why does he do that? 他为什么要这个样子
09:51.80, Every month. 每月如此
09:52.93, Yeah, I get a little moody, 没错 我是有点喜怒无常
09:55.04, but unrelentin physical discomfort 但身体不适的烦躁
09:56.70, will do that to a person. 就会让人这样
09:58.73, Doesn't he know 他知不知道
09:59.71, that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy 他越是旁敲侧击 当我们疯子一样
10:02.00, makes them crazy? 越是令我们抓狂
10:03.53, All right, you and Manny go ahead. 好的 你跟曼尼去吧
10:04.76, - Luke can just stay here with us. - Wait. What? 卢克不舒服就留下来-等等 什么情况
10:06.94, Luke's actually looking better. 其实卢克看起来已经好多了
10:08.54, - I am better. - Well, let's not take any chances. 我好些了-还是稳妥点好
10:10.72, - He can stay here. You go ahead. - Dad? -他在家休息 你们去吧 -爸
10:13.19, Daddy? 爸爸
10:14.92, See you later, buddy. 回见了 小家伙
10:16.95, What are we going to do? 我们怎么办
10:18.02, We leave no man behind. 不能让任何一个兄弟掉队
10:19.83, I think I'm just gonna go home. 我看我还是回家吧
10:23.36, We have time. 还有时间
10:24.09, Just take down the decorations and have a normal party. 撤掉这些布置 办一场普通派对
10:26.55, Yeah, and throw a boring party in our house 在自家办场闷死人派对
10:28.07, that looks like I just threw it together this afternoon? 一看就知道是今天下午仓促准备的
10:30.08, - Think! - Okay, we have a few options. 动脑子-有其它选择
10:31.93, I can get you the back room at Amelia's. 我可以在"阿米莉亚"餐厅给你弄到包间
10:33.79, Spilled juice on the owner's white rug 曾经把果汁洒在老板家白色地毯上
10:35.08, and almost killed her toddler. Next. 还差点害死她的小孩 再想
10:36.66, Bowling alley? 保龄球场
10:37.36, Not classy enough. What have you got? 不够有档次 你有什么想法
10:38.94, You're no help. You. 真没用 你说
10:40.35, Well, last weekend, I did a party on a boat. 上周末 我去船上参加了派对
10:42.94, You said you were visiting your parents. 你说你去看望爸妈了
10:44.36, You're suffocating me. 我需要离开你透透气
10:45.24, What's this boat? Tell me about the boat. 什么样的船 说清楚点
10:46.75, Okay, we did an elegant dinner party on a luxury yacht 我们在豪华游艇上举办了一场别致晚宴
10:49.27, for about 25 people. 参加人数大约25个
10:50.26, It takes you around the harbor, dancing under the moonlight. 可以在海湾转转 在月光下起舞
10:52.96, Okay, okay. Uh, maybe we can-- we can make a theme out of this. 好的好的 也许可以想个主题
10:55.88, You know, Cam's life is like a long voyage. 小卡的人生就是一次远航
10:57.88, Sometimes choppy but--but always forward, ever forward. 有时波涛汹涌 但永远一往直前
11:00.88, - We have two hours. - Book it. 只有两小时-快订吧
11:04.60, Hey, you survived trapeze class, huh? 你居然挺过了"空中飞人"
11:07.17, Didn't happen, 没去成
11:08.03, and common decency prevents me from telling you why. 本着基本的做人道理 我还是不说原因了
11:11.23, How was the soccer match? 足球比赛怎么样
11:12.22, Thrilling. 1-1 tie. 激动人心 一比一打平
11:14.23, One of the goals was an accident. 有个进球是个意外
11:15.79, I'm sure my mom was happy you went. 你去了我妈肯定很开心
11:17.14, I don't know what to make of her today. 我不知道她今天是怎么了
11:18.76, She got into it with this guy, 她和一个家伙杠上了
11:20.01, and I swear she was pushing me into a fight with him. 我肯定她有意怂恿我和那家伙打一架
11:22.94, Now is that something she'd want? 她现在喜欢暴力吗
11:24.23, I don't know. 我不知道
11:25.32, I always thought of women as the more evolved sex. 我一直以为女人进化得比男人成熟
11:27.83, But after today... I've seen things, Jay. 但是今天 我才真是大开眼界 杰
11:30.08, Cause, you know, I had my share of fights in my time. 我年轻时可不是省油的灯
11:31.95, You know that. 知道不
11:34.27, It's too warm for me. 太烫了
11:36.97, Yeah, I remember this time I was crossing the street with Dede, 我记得有一次 我和迪迪过马路
11:39.15, and some jackass almost clipped her. 有个混蛋差点开车撞到她
11:41.46, I had the guy on the ground, my foot on his neck, 我把他揍到地上 脚踩在他脖子上后
11:43.74, before the car stopped moving. 他的车才停下来
11:45.32, Yeah, we've heard all those stories. 你的光荣历史大家都听过
11:47.17, Maybe my mom wouldn't mind a glimpse of that Jay. 也许一睹真汉子杰的风采 才是我妈的期望
11:50.76, That's her. 是我妈
11:51.62, She wants me to help pick out Cam's gift. 她要我帮忙去给小卡挑礼物
11:53.43, I'm still that guy, you know. 100%. 我还是原来的真汉子 百分百纯爷们儿
11:56.01, What the hell? How do you cut your finger on a cracker? 见鬼 怎么弄个饼干都把手划破了
11:58.18, Anyway, if I thought there was a fight worth fighting, 总之 如果我认为值得一战
11:59.95, I'd fight it. 我绝对会挺身一战
12:00.99, Ow! Now I got salt in this. That stings! 盐进伤口了 痛死了
12:08.82, Next time, don't scream at your boss 下次 别冲你老板大喊大叫
12:10.98, so that he doesn't make you work during the weekends. 这样他就不会让你周末工作了
12:15.79, Si. Adios. 好了 再见
12:18.15, Hey, mom. Who were you yelling at? 妈 你在骂谁呢
12:20.22, Your father, baby. 你老爸 宝贝
12:22.06, He cannot make it this weekend. 他这周末没空
12:27.00, Okay, I admit it. 好吧 我承认
12:28.42, I wanted Jay to kick that little dutch man's ass at the bar. 我希望杰在酒吧里猛揍那个荷兰佬一顿
12:32.76, But two seconds on the phone with Javier, 可在电话里和哈维尔讲了几句后
12:34.85, and I remember what that stupid hothead behavior gets you- 我意识到了冲动鲁莽的下场
12:39.16, Nothing. 没有好下场
12:40.26, It's better to be calm like Jay. 像杰这样冷静其实更好
12:42.66, Like Jay and me. Like Jay. 像杰和我那样冷静 好吧 我自觉排除在外
12:48.82, I'm back! 我回来了
12:50.27, Wouldn't you know, I forgot my ding-dang sunglasses. 谁会想到 我把帅呆了的太阳眼镜给忘了
12:55.57, Luke, could you give me a hand? 卢克 来给我搭把手行吗
12:56.88, What were the chances that Phil had come back to apologize 从来不奢望菲尔会回来 为他搞的那些花样
12:59.99, for all the game playing 向我道歉
13:01.37, and have an open conversation with me 然后跟我开诚布公地
13:03.34, about what I was feeling? 谈谈我的感受
13:04.87, Okay, I got a bottle of fake blood out of the Halloween supplies. 我去万圣节商店买了瓶假血
13:08.37, Put a dab on your finger, say you cut it. 在手指上抹一点 说你割到指头了
13:10.30, I say I need to run you by the doctor. Easy trapezy. 然后我说得带你去看医生 轻松当飞人
13:12.81, Got it? 知道了不
13:13.51, See ya on the other side, brother. 咱飞人天堂见 哥们
13:16.07, Just once, I would like Phil to have a little empathy, 一次也好 我希望菲尔能表示一下同情
13:19.68, give me some sense that he understands what women go through. 向我表达一下他理解女性的痛苦
13:24.24, You feeling any better? 你们感觉好点儿了没
13:26.22, Hate to see the whole team on the D.L. 真不愿看见我家姑娘们都这么窝着
13:28.53, Ow! My finger! 我的手指头
13:29.85, I don't like the sound of that. 听起来不妙啊
13:35.60, I said a little bit! 我说的是一点儿
13:36.81, The cap fell off. I decided to just go with it. 盖子掉了 然后我决定将计就计
13:39.04, Okay, we gotta get you out the back. 好吧 得先把你弄出去
13:41.51, - God, what happened?! - Oh, it's just a little cut. -天啊 这是怎么了 -就一个小伤口
13:44.15, But to be safe, I'll run him by the doctor. 不过保险起见 我得带他去看看医生
13:45.80, No, are you crazy?! Call 9-1-1! 你疯了吗 得打急救电话
13:48.15, No, no, they're so busy. 不不 他们忙着呢
13:49.42, Where's the wound?! We need to put pressure on it, right? 伤口在哪 我们得按住伤口吧
13:51.40, - I'm gonna be sick! - My--my finger. 我要吐了-在指头上
13:52.63, Oh, he needs a tourniquet! Where do I put it?! 得给他上止血带 该往哪绑
13:54.59, - On my finger. - Stop! There is nothing wrong with him. 我指头上-住手 他什么事都没有
13:57.32, - Luke, what's going on? - I cut my finger? -卢克 这是怎么回事 -我割到手指了
14:00.55, Dad?-How crazy is that? 老爸-多神呐
14:01.88, They were in my pocket the whole time. I'll see you. 原来眼镜一直在我兜里 待会见
14:03.72, Phil! 菲尔
14:05.50, What is going on, Luke? 到底是怎么回事 卢克
14:06.65, Dad staged the whole thing 这一切都是老爸导演的
14:07.81, so we could go on the trapeze without you three. 好让我们去玩飞人 不带你们仨
14:10.21, Why? 为什么
14:11.13, Because... 因为
14:12.53, B-because... 因为
14:14.17, Because of this! You're all monster-ating! 就因为这个 你们都跟魔鬼一样
14:16.95, - Luke, no! - Are you kidding me?!Oh, my god! Oh, my lord. 卢克别-开什么玩笑 神啊
14:19.54, Sorry! I know you told me not to say it, but I... 抱歉 我知道你说过要严守党的机密 可我
14:21.89, Phil! 菲尔
14:23.13, Is this what you've been teaching our son? 你就是这样教儿子的吗
14:24.95, That--that women are some kind of unclean lepers 女人都是不干净的麻风病人
14:27.24, that should be hidden away under sheets for a week? 得在床单下隔离一周吗
14:29.82, Do you have any idea how offensive that it? 你知道这样有多冒犯吗
14:31.58, I do, honey. 我知道 亲爱的
14:33.00, And from the bottom of my heart, 我从内心深处表示
14:34.98, I am so... 我感到非常
14:36.52, s-s-scared. 害怕
14:39.31, Ugh! Oh, no! 不是吧
14:41.74, Oh, my. 老天
14:48.36, Okay. 好了
14:49.61, 3, 2, 1! 三 二 一
14:51.91, Surprise! 惊喜
14:53.52, Oh, my gosh! Oh, it's amazing! 我的天 太不可思议了
14:55.52, - Yeah, it's a boat party. - Oh! Because? 是船上派对-用意何在
14:57.27, Your life is like a voyage. 你的人生就像一次远航
14:58.67, Oh! Well, everyone's is, but I love it 每个人不都是吗 不过我喜欢这个
15:00.85, because none of our other friends have ever done it. 我们的朋友都没玩过这个
15:03.96, Aw. That's so sweet. 太贴心了
15:05.93, Oh, it must be easy with no dirty, broken woman in the relationship. 感情关系里没有肮脏崩溃的女人一定很爽吧
15:12.35, What are you laughing at? 你笑什么笑
15:13.44, Okay, everybody follow the birthday flag! 大家跟着生日旗帜走
15:13.44, [flag也指同志  
15:16.34, What'd you call me? Oh. Uh, oh, yes. 你叫我什么 哦对
15:18.27, Oh, my gosh. It's so elegant. I'll bet Pepper is dying. 我的天 太优雅了 胡娇肯定嫉妒死了
15:21.14, Oh, you know, actually, Pepper couldn't come. 那个 实际上 胡娇没来
15:22.79, Because he hates boats. You know, after the navy. 因为他讨厌船 参加过海军的人 你懂的
15:25.18, Yeah. Oh, yeah. 对 对
15:26.40, I guess Longinus got over his fear of--of water? 我猜朗吉纳斯已经战胜了怕水的问题吧
15:29.44, Mnh. No, no. 不 不
15:29.98, Why don't we just focus on the 30 people who are here, 我们还是把注意力放在到场的30人吧
15:31.72, having a great time! 好好玩
15:33.68, Ew! It smells like somebody's dead. 恶 闻着有股死人味道
15:36.51, Ugh! What is that smell? 那是什么味道
15:38.15, That faint odor is-- is a tiny, tiny blue whale 那淡淡的味道来自于 一只小小的蓝鲸
15:41.05, who apparently has indeed died, uh, nearby. 倒确实是死在附近的
15:43.73, But... 不过呢
15:44.80, Si, but it's getting all over my coat. 搞的我外套上全是这个味
15:47.13, I don't smell anything. 我什么也闻不到
15:48.80, Maybe that's because you smell like a bouquet of flowers. 大概是因为你闻起来像是一捧花
15:51.99, Oh, yeah. Watch out for that. 对了 小心脚下
15:53.79, Ugh! It smells like puke married poop 这味道好像是呕吐物跟大便结婚
15:56.37, and had the ceremony in my nose. 然后在我鼻子里举行婚礼
15:58.54, You paint with words. 画面感太强了
15:59.87, Okay, don't worry, everybody. 好 大家别着急
16:01.29, Soon we'll be way, way out at sea, bouncing on the waves 马上我们就会远在海上 乘风逐浪
16:04.36, with all of his sweet-smelling brothers and sisters. Okay? 闻到的都是蓝鲸兄弟姐妹们的甜甜香气
16:07.10, - Mitchell Pritchett? - Oh, yes. Hi. 米奇尔·普里契特-是的 你好
16:08.34, Hi. I'm your captain tonight. We've got a problem. 你好 我是今晚的船长 我们遇到点问题
16:10.37, I can't fit this many people on my boat. 我没办法让这么多人上船
16:11.90, No, no. I was--I was told you could take 30. 不要吧 之前告诉我能载30人的
16:13.72, I have exactly 30 guests. 我刚好有30名客人
16:14.96, Plus six in help. You gotta drop a few people. 我有6名船员 你得留下几个人
16:17.79, Come on. There--there must be something that we can do here. 拜托 一定有点什么办法的
16:19.78, Well, we have bigger boats, 我们有大点的船
16:20.90, But this is the best I could do on two hours' notice. 不过提前两个小时订 就只有这个了
16:23.02, What is the problem? 有什么问题吗
16:24.98, Apparently, 很明显呢
16:25.66, Mitchell started planning my birthday party two hours ago. 米奇尔两小时前才开始筹划我的生日派对
16:28.00, Mnh-mnh. No. No, I-I did not. 不不 不是的
16:30.18, Uh, apparently, we have too many people for his boat. 显然 我们人太多不能上船
16:32.91, - So... - That's crazy. 所以-太扯了吧
16:34.53, I've seen more people clinging to a floating door. 我见过抓在一块门板上漂的人比这都多[偷渡
16:37.47, I'm sorry, lady. It's a safety issue. 抱歉女士 这涉及到安全问题
16:39.11, Oh, no. You're going to have a safety issue 不 你如果不把我们从这臭鲸旁送走
16:41.21, if you don't take me away from this whale. 你就会有安全问题
16:43.64, Okay, little too much finger, little too much attitude. 不要指指点点 态度也不要这么恶劣
16:45.52, What's all this? 这是怎么了
16:46.32, Uh, two hours of Mitchell's hard work going down the drain. 米奇尔辛苦了两小时的成果就要化为乌有了
16:48.98, Look, I can't fit more than 30 people on the boat, 这船不能承载超过30个人
16:52.22, As I was just explaining to the lady here. 我在跟这位女士解释
16:53.84, Well, first of all, that "Lady" is my son. 注意了 你说的"女士"可是我的儿子
16:55.81, He wasn't talking about me. 他说的不是我
16:57.37, I was talking about her. 我说的是她
16:58.69, Oh. Her. Oh, it's "Her" now. 她 又变成"她"了
17:00.65, Well, "Her" happens to be my wife. 而她是我的老婆
17:02.75, You got a problem with her, you got a problem with me. 你跟她过不去 就是跟我过不去
17:05.26, No, no, Jay... 别这样 杰
17:06.56, - Calm down. - I didn't have a problem before, 冷静-我之前没跟谁过不去
17:08.25, but now I'm starting to. 现在老子就是要为难一下你们
17:09.13, No, your problem's about to get a lot bigger. 跟老子过不去你他妈的绝对没好下场
17:11.39, No, Jay, I know you think this is what I want, but it's not. 杰 你以为这是我想要的 其实不是
17:13.97, - I've got this, Gloria. - No, Jay. -交给我处理 歌洛莉亚 -别这样 杰
17:15.70, I was just being stupid today. I like that you're calm, 今天是我犯傻了 我喜欢你那么冷静
17:18.90, that you think first, and you act second. 你总是三思而后行
17:21.85, I need that in my life. 我的生活需要这样的你
17:23.51, Yeah, so walk away, grandpa. 闪边去吧 爷爷
17:25.05, You know what? 说什么呢
17:26.44, Nobody call him "Grandpa"! 谁都不能叫他"爷爷"
17:28.71, I do. 我叫啊
17:29.78, Okay, that's it! 行了 够了
17:31.65, No boat! Everybody off my dock, or I'm calling the cops! 不许上船 所有人滚下去 否则我报警
17:34.56, So no party now? 现在连派对都没了吗
17:35.94, No! No, of course! Just... 不是 当然有 拜托...
17:37.75, Just... Just give me a minute okay? 拜托给我一分钟好吗
17:39.19, Oh, after what you did with two hours, 两小时做的都不过如此
17:40.44, - I can't wait to see what you do with a minute. - Cam! 真等不及看你一分钟的成果-小卡
17:44.33, Poor Cam. He seems so upset. 可怜的小卡 他好生气啊
17:46.39, Oh, is that hard for you, Phil, 你觉得难受吗 菲尔
17:47.53, That he's have a feeling around you? 就因为有情绪的人出现在你身边
17:49.10, - I'm so sorry. - Too many emotions? 好抱歉哦-好情绪化哦
17:50.80, Okay, okay, I give up! 好了 好了 我认输了
17:53.95, Yeah, I made a mistake today. 是的 今天我错了
17:56.43, But only because the three of you ganged up on me 那也是因为你们三个联合起来对付我
17:58.39, like when the wolfman, Dracula, and Frankenstein 就好像狼人 吸血鬼 科学怪人
18:00.59, show up in the same movie, 扎堆在一部电影里
18:02.28, except this wasn't awesome! 但绝不是以很酷的方式扎堆
18:04.89, I have been on an emotional roller coaster all day today. 我今天的情绪就跟翻江倒海似的
18:07.98, I'm afraid. I'm mad. I'm mad because I'm afraid, 我害怕 我生气 我生气因为我害怕
18:09.95, and now I can't even think straight 现在我脑袋都成浆糊了
18:10.80, because I'm in so much pain from what just happened over there! 因为刚刚绊的那一下让我好痛
18:13.63, And the whole thing makes me so sad, and I'm not even sure why, 这一切让我好伤心 我却不知道为什么
18:15.81, and I'm nauseous from that smell but I'm so hungry. 这臭味令我恶心 但是我却好饿
18:22.30, Yeah. 没事的
18:25.45, Cam, the--the boat wasn't even part of the plan. 小卡 我最初根本不是想办游船派对
18:27.88, No, it's fine. 没关系
18:28.77, It's my fault for letting my expectations get too high. 期望太高是我的错
18:31.49, - I'll get over this one, too. - No, no. 这次我也不会计较的-不不
18:33.09, I had this whole "Wizard of OZ" party planned, 其实我早就计划好了"绿野仙踪"主题派对
18:35.62, only today I realized that it might be 只不过我今天才意识到可能
18:37.58, a-a little too tornado-y. 太过"龙卷风"风格了
18:39.52, - Today? - Yes! 今天-是的
18:40.44, I'm sorry I-I didn't make the connection, okay? 抱歉我之前没想到这点
18:42.54, Probably 'cause I've been planning for months 可能是因为我精心计划了几个月
18:44.61, so that you could have the perfect party and be happy, 力图使你可以拥有完美的派对 可以开心
18:46.91, which now I don't even think is possible. 而现在我觉得根本没可能了
18:49.11, Oh, I'm sorry that I would like to have 我想拥有一个美好的
18:50.67, a nice 10th birthday party. 10岁生日派对是我的错
18:52.80, Well, you can't have it, Cam! 你不可能拥有 小卡
18:54.26, You wanna know why?! Because you're 40! 想知道原因吗 因为你40岁了
18:57.20, You're a 40-year-old man! 你是个40岁的大男人
19:02.37, I am 40. 我40了
19:06.73, - I'm 40. - Yes. 我40了-没错
19:10.77, Oh, Cam, stop it. 小卡 别这样
19:12.30, I'm 40 and I'm--I'm on this stupid--wait, what is that?! 我40了 而我却坐在这破...这什么东西
19:15.88, Oh, it's this... 这个
19:17.84, thing! 破玩意儿
19:18.58, Suddenly, it all made sense. 一下子 我开窍了
19:20.47, Cam's craziness all day wasn't about a party. 小卡整天的抓狂表现不是因为派对
19:23.45, it was about turning 40. 而是因为他40岁了
19:25.26, And once he realized that, everything got much worse. 一旦他意识到这点 情况变得更糟糕
19:29.13, - I've done nothing with my life! - Oh, w--stop it. 我根本一事无成-别这样
19:31.87, Come on. How--how can you say that? 别这样 怎么能这样说呢
19:33.52, You're--you're a wonderful father. You... 你是个好父亲 你...
19:36.39, You--you graduated from clown college. 你从小丑大学毕业了
19:38.64, You've been to France. 你去过法国
19:41.08, I don't want to be 40. It's not fair! 我不想要40岁啦 好不公平
19:43.56, - I know. - Nothing's fair. 我了解-世上本就没公平可言
19:45.70, 2 miles from here is an amusement park 两英里外就是个游乐园
19:47.27, full of happy families swgiging on a trapeze. 挤满了玩"空中飞人"的欢乐家庭
19:50.98, That's all I wanted for my special bonus day. 四年才多出的一天 我只有这个小小要求
19:57.35, What? 什么
19:58.41, I'd been trying so hard 我绞尽脑汁
19:59.62, to figure out what Cam wanted for his birthday. 想琢磨出小卡生日到底想要什么
20:03.08, He'd been telling me all along. 其实他一直都在告诉我
20:05.76, He wanted to be 10. 他只想要10岁
20:17.69, Seriously? There's nothing you can do? 真的吗 你没有办法吗
20:19.98, I'm sorry. You just missed the cutoff. 抱歉 到结束时间了
20:21.98, How about we see you next time? 不如下次再来玩吧
20:23.82, How about you make an exception and strap him in there? 不如你破个例 让他上去飞飞
20:27.23, Yeah, we're, like,ten minutes past your deadline, anyway. 是啊 我们不就迟了10分钟嘛
20:29.55, And you don't want to make us angry today. 你今天最好别惹我们
20:31.32, - Ladies, uh, I really can't make any exceptions. - "Ladies"? -女士们 没法破例 -女士们
20:38.07, And that was how they apologized to me. 这就是她们向我道歉的方式
20:41.55, Come on, Phil! 加油 菲尔
20:44.79, Oh, god, Phil! 天啊 菲尔
20:47.71, You did it! 你成功了
20:49.18, At least, I-I think it was. I could never ask them. 我想应该是道歉吧 我不好意思开口问
20:57.11, This is so satisfying! 感觉太爽了
20:58.47, Best I've felt all day! 今天就这时候感觉最爽
21:02.20, Can I rent one of these on a monthly basis? 我可以每月租一次这个吗
21:06.65, Yes! 太棒了
21:08.62, Oh, yay! 好耶
21:11.61, Best 40th birthday party ever. 最开心的40岁生日派对
21:13.35, No, no. 10th. 不不 10岁
21:15.73, Really?-Yeah. 可以吗-可以
21:17.40, In fact, you're still that sexy little 8 year old 事实上 你还是那个我爱上的
21:19.33, I fell in love with. 性感8岁小男孩
21:23.76, No, just go. 算了 走吧

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