Woman: Oh, Jane. You look wonderful. Good for you. Oh, honey, it must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Yes, it is. But then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers, and I feel so much better. Enjoy the party.
Casey: Whoo! You clean up good. I might even be into you.
Jane: Okay. It's on the desktop under "Tess and George."
Casey: You okay?
Casey: That's not water. Okay. Okay.
George: Jane, thank you so much for doing all this. It's great.
Waiter: Hors d'oeuvre?
Jane: Yeah. Oh, look. Pigs in a blanket. Want one, Tess?
Tess: No. I don't eat that stuff, Jane.
Jane: Right. That's right. Got it. Well, I'm gonna go do the slide show.
Tess: Jane. You're only gonna say what I wrote, right?
Jane: Of course. The perfect bridesmaid always does what she's asked.
Father: Not getting cold feet, are you?
Tess: What was that? With this one? Never.
Jane: Hey, everybody. In case you haven't already read, I have been to my fair share of weddings. So, to start things off, I thought you should all know the truth about Tess and George. Tess and George are a perfect couple. No, a divine couple. A couple whose love is the stuff of myths. Their compatibility is so exact that it can only be described as having been designed by the gods. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I put together a slide show so you can all see for yourselves. From the very beginning, Tess and George were destined for each other. George and Tess have always shared a love of God's furry creatures. As they grew up, they both shared the same level of dedication and commitment: To their education.
Jane: And civic responsibility. He was interested in international affairs. And so was she. And today, Tess and George still share the same values. Their love is based on a deep understanding. and acceptance of who the other person really is. The love of two true soul mates. Tess and George. So here's to the most perfect couple brought together by destiny. I'm so proud of you, Baby Sister.
Casey: Okay: Okay. All right. Well, that was-Yeah: So, um. To keep the merriment going, um, George's "little brother" Pedro wanted to say a few words. Redro.
George: So, safe to say you're not a vegetarian.
Tess: George, that was taken a really long time ago.
George: Why exactly were you wearing your engagement ring then?
Redro: Thank you. As all you know, George is my big brother. But he's more than that. He's my best friend. And now George has Tess, who's- who's really-really, really cool. 'Cause she's gonna help me start my own cleaning business. Oh: Tess told me not to tell you, George. But I'm so excited: So I'm only doing George's place right now. But if anyone is in the market for a really good cleaning service, please see me in the lobby. Thank you.
George: That's great.
Tess: No, it's- it's not. George. George, wait, please. Let me explain.
Casey: So what happened?
Jane: He needed to know the truth.
Casey: You could've told him face-to-face. I mean, I know that my moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, but if I say something's wrong, something's wrong.
Jane: You're the one who is always telling me to stand up for myself.
Casey: Yeah. But that's not what you did. What you did was unleash 20 years of repressed feelings in one night. It was entertaining, don't get me wrong, but if it was the right thing to do, you'd feel better right now. Do you feel better right now?
Tess: The wedding's off. I hope you're happy.