《渺小一生》:“为什么裘德坐轮椅？”

　 “I don’t like using it—you know that.”

“我不喜欢用那个标志，你知道的。”

　 “If you’re not going to use it, then what’s the point of having a car?”

“要是你不打算用，那买车要干吗呢？”

　 “Jude, I think that’s a space,” said Willem, ignoring JB.

“裘德，我想那里有个位子。”威廉说，不理杰比。

　 “Seven blocks from the apartment,” muttered JB.

“离她们的公寓有七个街区。”杰比咕哝道。

　 “Shut up, JB,” said Malcolm.

“闭嘴啦，杰比。”马尔科姆说。

　 Once inside the party, they were each tugged by a different person to a separate corner of the room. Willem watched as Jude was pulled firmly away by Marta: Help me, Jude mouthed to him, and he smiled and gave him a little wave. Courage, he mouthed back, and Jude rolled his eyes. He knew how much Jude hadn’t wanted to come, hadn’t wanted to explain again and again why he was in a wheelchair, and yet Willem had begged him: “Don’t make me go alone.”

进入派对后，他们各自被不同的人拉到屋里不同的角落。威廉看着裘德被马尔塔一手推走，帮我，裘德用嘴型无声地跟他说，他则微笑挥了下手。要勇敢，他也用嘴型回话，裘德翻了个白眼。他知道裘德有多么不想来，不想一再解释他现在为什么坐轮椅，可是威廉一直求他“拜托不要让我一个人去”。

　 “You won’t be alone. You’ll be with JB and Malcolm.”

“你不会落单的。还有杰比和马尔科姆。”

　 “You know what I mean. Forty-five minutes and we’re out of there. JB and Malcolm can find their own way back to the city if they want to stay longer.”

“你明知道我的意思。只待四十五分钟，我们就离开。杰比和马尔科姆如果想待久一点，他们可以自己想办法回曼哈顿。”

　 “Fifteen minutes.”

“十五分钟。”

　 “Thirty.”

“三十分钟。”

　 “Fine.”

“好吧。”

　 Willem, meanwhile, had been ensnared by Edie Kim, who looked basically the same as she had when they were in college: a little rounder, maybe, but that was it. He hugged her. “Edie,” he said, “congratulations.”

此时，威廉被伊迪·金逮到了，她看起来还是跟大学时代差不多，或许胖了一点，顶多也就这样。威廉拥抱她。“伊迪。”他说，“恭喜了。”

　 “Thanks, Willem,” said Edie. She smiled at him. “You look great. Really, really great.” JB had always had a theory that Edie had a crush on him, but he’d never believed it. “I really loved The Lacuna Detectives. You were really great in it.”

“谢了，威廉。”伊迪说，朝他微笑，“你看起来很不错，真的真的很不错。”杰比以前有个理论，说伊迪暗恋他，但他从来不信。“我真的很喜欢《空隙侦探》，你在里面表现得太好了。”

　 “Oh,” he said. “Thanks.” He had hated The Lacuna Detectives. He had despised the production of it so much—the story, which was fantastic, had concerned a pair of metaphysical detectives who entered the unconscious minds of amnesiacs, but the director had been so tyrannical that Willem’s costar had quit two weeks into the shoot and had to be recast, and once a day, someone had run off the set crying—that he had never actually seen the film itself. “So,” he said, trying to redirect the conversation, “when—”

“啊，”他说，“谢谢。”他痛恨《空隙侦探》。他讨厌整个拍摄过程——故事是奇幻类型，一对超自然侦探进入了健忘症患者无意识的心灵，但导演实在太专横了，搞得跟威廉一起主演的明星拍了两星期就辞演了，还得重新选角，而且拍片现场每天都会有人哭着跑掉 ——所以他讨厌这部电影，根本没去看。“那么，”他说，试着转移话题，“什么时候……”

　 “Why’s Jude in a wheelchair?” Edie asked.

“为什么裘德坐轮椅？”伊迪问。

　 He sighed. When Jude had begun using the wheelchair regularly two months ago, the first time he’d had to in four years, since he was thirty-one, he had prepped them all on how to respond to this question. “It’s not permanent,” he said. “He just has an infection in his leg and it makes it painful for him to walk long distances.”

他叹了口气。从两个月前开始，裘德就必须经常坐轮椅。他31岁以来，这是四年来的头一次。之前，他曾一再训练他们三人如何回答这个问题。“不是永久性的，”他说，“他只是腿上有个伤口感染了，走路走太久就会很痛。”

　 “God, poor guy,” said Edie. “Marta says he left the U.S. Attorney’s and has a huge job at some corporate firm.” JB had also always suspected Edie had a crush on Jude, which Willem thought was fairly plausible.

“老天，真可怜。”伊迪说，“马尔塔说他离开联邦检察官办公室，换了个很好的工作，在一家大型律师事务所。”杰比以前也总是怀疑伊迪暗恋裘德，威廉觉得不大可能。

　 “Yeah, for a few years now,” he said, eager to move the subject away from Jude, for whom he never liked to answer; he would have loved to talk about Jude, and he knew what he could and couldn’t say about him, or on his behalf, but he didn’t like the sly, confiding tone people took when asking about him, as if he might be cajoled or tricked into revealing what Jude himself wouldn’t. (As if he ever would.) “Anyway, Edie, this is really exciting for you.” He stopped. “I’m sorry—I should’ve asked—do you still want to be called Edie?”

“是啊，有两三年了。”他说，急着想把话题从裘德身上转开，他从不喜欢回答关于裘德的问题；其实他很愿意谈裘德，也知道什么可以说、什么不能说，还有可以代他回答什么，但他不喜欢别人问到裘德时那种狡猾、机密的口吻，好像可以哄他说出裘德自己不会讲的事情。“总之，伊迪，我真是太为你高兴了。”他停下来，“对不起，我早该问的，你还是希望大家喊你伊迪吗？”

　 Edie frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”

伊迪皱眉：“为什么不希望？”

　 “Well—” He paused. “I didn’t know how far into the process you were, and—”

“唔……”他暂停，“我不知道你进行到过程中的哪个部分，而且……”