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开怀一笑:最具智慧最幽默的创意翻译

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  1.The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

  在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。我真不想伤害你,但你也别逼我。吾虽不杀伯仁,伯仁由我而死。

  2.Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

  政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是:他们都很有规律地被替换,而且因为同一个理由——脏了!!

  3.War does not determine who is right – only who is left。

  战争不能决出正义,但能判出哪方出局.

  4.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果;智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子,智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。

  5.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

  上帝瞅着咱们呢,大伙好歹喜感点吧!

  6.I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

  老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端,不是为了成为一个素食者。

  7.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.....

  公车站呀公车停。火车站呀火车停。俺桌上有个工作站…

  8.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

  剽悍的人生不需要解释。

  9.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  无愧于心哈?记性不好吧?

  10.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

  如果女人能做到以秃顶和啤酒肚在大街上晃还觉得自己倍儿性感——此时估计男女能平等。

  11.The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

  小腿上的骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。

  12.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

  窃钩者诛,窃国者为诸侯。

  13.The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

  小孩子要中间名,纯粹是为了让他知道他啥时候真的有麻烦了。起个全名就为了揍孩子前可以底气十足地喊出来。贾君鹏这名字就为了让他妈喊他回家吃饭!

  14.It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.

  跳楼的时候,“啊——”的时候还没死,“啪!”那才是死了。

  15.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

  好客就是:让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样,尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。

  16.You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

  越活越2,活到老,2到老。

  17.Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

  记着吧……世界要不恶心,我们早被吐掉了。(提示:看出哪个词是一语双关了吗?)

  18.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

  直译:如果你始终脚踏实地,那就别想穿裤子了。

  意译:人太老实没法活。

  19.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine。

  世界总是在变,但我却怎么也便不出来。

  人生何处不杯具,唯有面对饮水机。


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