TED演讲: 莱温斯基:羞辱的代价

2015-11-16 09:28:27  每日学英语
TED演讲:TED 莱温斯基:羞辱的代价

You're looking at a woman who was publicly silent for a decade. Obviously, that's changed, but only recently.


It was several months ago that I gave my very first major public talk at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:1,500 brilliant people, all under the age of 30. That meant that in 1998, the oldest among the group were only 14, and the youngest, just four. I joked with them that some might only have heard of me from rap songs. Yes, I'm in rap songs. Almost 40 rap songs.


But the night of my speech, a surprising thing happened. At the age of 41, I was hit on by a 27-year-old guy. I know, right? He was charming and I was flattered, and I declined. You know what his unsuccessful pickup line was? He could make me feel 22 again. I realized later that night, I'm probably the only person over 40 who does not want to be 22 again.

在我演讲当晚 意外的事情发生了,作为一个41岁的女性,竟然有一个27岁的小伙子勾搭我。我知道,难以相信吧?他很有魅力,说了不少奉承的话,结果我拒绝了。知道他的搭讪不成功在哪吗?他说他能让我感到又回到了22岁……那天晚上我意识到,40岁时不想回到22岁的人或许就只有我了。

At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss, and at the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences.


Can I see a show of hands of anyone here who didn't make a mistake or do something they regretted at 22? Yep. That's what I thought. So like me, at 22, a few of you may have also taken wrong turns and fallen in love with the wrong person, maybe even your boss. Unlike me, though, your boss probably wasn't the president of the United States of America. Of course, life is full of surprises.


Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of my mistake, and I regret that mistake deeply.


In 1998, after having been swept up into an improbable romance, I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal and media maelstrom like we had never seen before. Remember, just a few years earlier,news was consumed from just three places: reading a newspaper or magazine, listening to the radio, or watching television. That was it. But that wasn't my fate. Instead, this scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution. That meant we could access all the information we wanted, when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere, and when the story broke in January 1998, it broke online. It was the first time the traditional news was usurped by the Internet for a major news story, a click that reverberated around the world.

1998年 在卷入一段不可能的爱情之后,我被卷入政治、法律和媒体的漩涡中心,一场前所未见的漩涡。记得吧,就在几年前,新闻只有三个来源:读报刊杂志、听收音机和看电视,就这些了。但我的命并没这么好,这起丑闻通过数字革命被公之于众。数字革命意味着我们能获取所有想要的信息,不管何时何地。丑闻在1998年1月被首次揭露就是通过互联网。这是传统媒体第一次在重大事件报道上被因特网抢先,一个点击的声音响彻了全世界。

What that meant for me personally was that overnight I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one worldwide. I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.


This rush to judgment, enabled by technology, led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers. Granted, it was before social media, but people could still comment online, email stories, and, of course, email cruel jokes. News sources plastered photos of me all over to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and to keep people tuned to the TV. Do you recall a particular image of me, say, wearing a beret?


Now, I admit I made mistakes, especially wearing that beret. But the attention and judgment that I received, not the story, but that I personally received, was unprecedented. I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo, and, of course, that woman. I was seen by many but actually known by few. And I get it: it was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional, had a soul, and was once unbroken.

我承认,我犯了错误,特别是不该戴那顶贝雷帽。在关注故事之外,人们对我个人的关注和道德审判也是前所未有的,我被打上各种标签 荡妇、妓女、母狗、婊子、贱人,当然还有 “那个女人”。很多人都看到了我,但很少有人了解我。我明白,人们很容易忘记一个女人是多维度的,其实她也有灵魂,也曾是完好无缺的。

When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it. Now we call it cyberbullying and online harassment.


Today, I want to share some of my experience with you, talk about how that experience has helped shape my cultural observations, and how I hope my past experience can lead to a change that results in less suffering for others.


In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity. I lost almost everything, and I almost lost my life. Let me paint a picture for you. It is September of 1998. I'm sitting in a windowless office room inside the Office of the Independent Counsel underneath humming fluorescent lights. I'm listening to the sound of my voice, my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before. I'm here because I've been legally required to personally authenticate all 20 hours of taped conversation. For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes has hung like the Sword of Damocles over my head. I mean, who can remember what they said a year ago? Scared and mortified, I listen, listen as I prattle on about the flotsam and jetsam of the day; listen as I confess my love for the president, and, of course, my heartbreak; listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth; listen, deeply, deeply ashamed, to the worst version of myself,a self I don't even recognize.

1998年 我失去了声誉和尊严,我几乎失去了一切,包括生命。让我给大家描绘一下,这是1998年9月,我坐在一间没有窗户的办公室,在独立检察官办公室,嗡嗡作响的荧光灯下,我听着自己的声音,这是一年前电话窃听录取的声音,这位录音者,我原来还当作朋友。我坐在那里是因为法律要求,我要亲自鉴定全部二十小时的对话录音。过去的八个月,这些录音带中的神秘内容,就像达摩克利斯之剑一样悬在我的头顶。想想,谁能记得自己一年前说了什么。我很害怕,很屈辱地听着,听我自己平日闲暇时的扯东拉西,听我自己坦白对总统的爱意。当然,还有我的心碎。听到那个有时狡猾、有时暴躁、有时愚蠢的我——无情、记仇、粗鲁。我听着,深深地感到羞愧,这是最糟糕的我,糟糕到我自己都不认识。

A few days later, the Starr Report is released to Congress, and all of those tapes and trans, those stolen words, form a part of it. That people can read the trans is horrific enough, but a few weeks later, the audio tapes are aired on TV, and significant portions made available online. The public humiliation was excruciating. Life was almost unbearable.This was not something that happened with regularity back then in 1998, and by this, I mean the stealing of people's private words, actions, conversations or photos, and then making them public -- public without consent, public without context, and public without compassion.

几天后 斯塔尔报告被提交给国会,所有录音和原文稿,所有被窃取的言语,都成了其中一部分。人们能够读到原文稿就已经很让人害怕了,但这还没完,数周后,录音带又被公开到电视上,还有很大一部分散播到了网上。这种公开羞辱很折磨人,生命几乎变得不可承受。这种情况在1998年的时候发生得并不常见,”这种情况”指的是窃取人们的私下言语、行为、对话或照片将之公开于众--没有征得同意的公开、没有来龙去脉的公开、没有丝毫同情的公开。

Fast forward 12 years to 2010, and now social media has been born. The landscape has sadly become much more populated with instances like mine, whether or not someone actually make a mistake, and now it's for both public and private people. The consequences for some have become dire, very dire.


I was on the phone with my mom in September of 2010, and we were talking about the news of a young college freshman from Rutgers University named Tyler Clementi. Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler was secretly webcammed by his roommate while being intimate with another man. When the online world learned of this incident, the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited. A few days later, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge to his death. He was 18.

2010年9月 我和我妈打了一通电话,我们谈到了一则新闻,关于罗格斯大学的一个大学新生。他叫泰勒·克莱门蒂——亲切、灵敏、富有创造性的泰勒被室友偷拍到和另一个男的有亲密行为,视频被传播到网上,嘲笑和网络欺凌之火被点燃。几天后,泰勒从乔治·华盛顿大桥纵身跃下……生命就这样逝去……他只有18岁。

My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family, and she was gutted with painin a way that I just couldn't quite understand, and then eventually I realized she was reliving 1998, reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night, reliving a time when she made me shower with the bathroom door open, and reliving a time when both of my parents feared that I would be humiliated to death,literally.


Today, too many parents haven't had the chance to step in and rescue their loved ones. Too many have learned of their child's suffering and humiliation after it was too late. Tyler's tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me. It served to recontextualize my experiences, and I then began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me and see something different.


In 1998, we had no way of knowing where this brave new technology called the Internet would take us. Since then, it has connected people in unimaginable ways, joining lost siblings, saving lives, launching revolutions, but the darkness, cyberbullying, and slut-shaming that I experienced had mushroomed. Every day online, people, especially young people who are not developmentally equipped to handle this, are so abused and humiliated that they can't imagine living to the next day, and some, tragically, don't, and there's nothing virtual about that.

在1998年 没人知道因特网这种新生技术会将人类引往何方。自诞生以来,因特网让人类以难以设想的方式联系了起来,让人们找到失散的兄弟姐妹、挽救生命,发起革命。不过同时,我所经历的阴暗面、网络欺凌和肆意辱骂也如雨后春笋增生。每天在网上,总有人,特别是依然稚嫩不知如何处理这些的年轻人总会被如此欺凌和羞辱,以至于感觉无法活到第二天,有些人也确实悲剧地因此而死。这一点也不虚拟。

ChildLine, a U.K. nonprofit that's focused on helping young people on various issues,released a staggering statistic late last year: From 2012 to 2013, there was an 87 percent increase in calls and emails related to cyberbullying. A meta-analysis done out of the Netherlands showed that for the first time, cyberbullying was leading to suicidal ideations more significantly than offline bullying. And you know what shocked me, although it shouldn't have, was other research last year that determined humiliation was a more intensely felt emotion than either happiness or even anger.


Cruelty to others is nothing new, but online, technologically enhanced shaming is amplified, uncontained, and permanently accessible. The echo of embarrassment used to extend only as far as your family, village, school or community, but now it's the online community too. Millions of people, often anonymously, can stab you with their words, and that's a lot of pain, and there are no perimeters around how many people can publicly observe you and put you in a public stockade. There is a very personal price to public humiliation, and the growth of the Internet has jacked up that price.


For nearly two decades now, we have slowly been sowing the seeds of shame and public humiliation in our cultural soil, both on- and offline. Gossip websites, paparazzi, reality programming, politics, news outlets and sometimes hackers all traffic in shame. It's led to desensitization and a permissive environment online which lends itself to trolling, invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying. This shift has created what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls a culture of humiliation.


Consider a few prominent examples just from the past six months alone. Snapchat, the service which is used mainly by younger generationsand claims that its messages only have the lifespan of a few seconds. You can imagine the range of content that that gets. A third-party app which Snapchatters use to preserve the lifespan of the messages was hacked, and 100,000 personal conversations, photos, and videos were leaked online to now have a lifespan of forever. Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors had their iCloud accounts hacked, and private, intimate, nude photos were plastered across the Internet without their permission.One gossip website had over five million hits for this one story. And what about the Sony Pictures cyberhacking? The documents which received the most attention were private emails that had maximum public embarrassment value.

来看一些显著例子 这些还只是最近六个月发生的。“Snapchat”该服务主要是年轻人在用,宣称其内容阅后即焚,信息只会存在几秒,可以想象这会涉及到哪类内容。Snapchat用户所使用的一种长久保留信息的第三方应用程序被入侵了,十万人的个人对话、照片、视频被泄露到网上,这些内容的寿命就这样变成了永远。詹妮弗·劳伦斯和其他几位演员的iCloud帐户被入侵,私人私密裸照被传播到互联网上,未经任何允许。一个八卦网站仅仅因为这一个内容,就获得了五百万以上的点击量。再想想索尼影业黑客袭击,最受关注的文档,竟然是公开羞辱价值最大的一些私人邮件。

But in this culture of humiliation, there is another kind of price tag attached to public shaming. The price does not measure the cost to the victim, which Tyler and too many others, notably women, minorities,and members of the LGBTQ community have paid, but the price measures the profit of those who prey on them. This invasion of others is a raw material, efficiently and ruthlessly mined, packaged and sold at a profit. A marketplace has emerged where public humiliation is a commodity and shame is an industry.How is the money made? Clicks. The more shame, the more clicks. The more clicks, the more advertising dollars. We're in a dangerous cycle. The more we click on this kind of gossip, the more numb we get to the human lives behind it, and the more numb we get, the more we click. All the while, someone is making money off of the back of someone else's suffering. With every click, we make a choice. The more we saturate our culture with public shaming, the more accepted it is, the more we will see behavior like cyberbullying, trolling, some forms of hacking, and online harassment. Why? Because they all have humiliation at their cores. This behavior is a symptom of the culture we've created. Just think about it.


Changing behavior begins with evolving beliefs. We've seen that to be true with racism, homophobia, and plenty of other biases, today and in the past. As we've changed beliefs about same-sex marriage, more people have been offered equal freedoms. When we began valuing sustainability, more people began to recycle. So as far as our culture of humiliation goes, what we need is a cultural revolution. Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop, and it's time for an intervention on the Internet and in our culture.


The shift begins with something simple, but it's not easy. We need to return to a long-held value of compassion -- compassion and empathy. Online, we've got a compassion deficit, an empathy crisis.Researcher Brené Brown said, and I quote, "Shame can't survive empathy." Shame cannot survive empathy.


I've seen some very dark days in my life, and it was the compassion and empathy from my family, friends, professionals, and sometimes even strangers that saved me. Even empathy from one person can make a difference. The theory of minority influence, proposed by social psychologist Serge Moscovici, says that even in small numbers, when there's consistency over time, change can happen. In the online world, we can foster minority influence by becoming upstanders. To become an upstander means instead of bystander apathy, we can post a positive comment for someone or report a bullying situation. Trust me, compassionate comments help abate the negativity. We can also counteract the culture by supporting organizations that deal with these kinds of issues, like the Tyler Clementi Foundation in the U.S., In the U.K., there's Anti-Bullying Pro, and in Australia, there's Project Rockit.


We talk a lot about our right to freedom of expression, but we need to talk more about our responsibility to freedom of expression. We all want to be heard, but let's acknowledge the difference between speaking up with intention and speaking up for attention. The Internet is the superhighway for the id, but online, showing empathy to others benefits us all and helps create a safer and better world. We need to communicate online with compassion, consume news with compassion, and click with compassion. Just imagine walking a mile in someone else's headline. I'd like to end on a personal note. In the past nine months, the question I've been asked the most is why. Why now? Why was I sticking my head above the parapet? You can read between the lines in those questions, and the answer has nothing to do with politics.


The top note answer was and is because it's time: time to stop tip-toeing around my past; time to stop living a life of opprobrium; and time to take back my narrative. It's also not just about saving myself. Anyone who is suffering from shame and public humiliation needs to know one thing: You can survive it. I know it's hard. It may not be painless, quick or easy, but you can insist on a different ending to your story. Have compassion for yourself. We all deserve compassion, and to live both online and off in a more compassionate world.

我的回答是:因为是时候了,是时候不再为过去而小心翼翼,是时候不再背负耻辱地活着,是时候讲述自己的经历。这不仅仅是为了拯救我自己,任何遭受耻辱和公开羞辱的人都需要知道一点——你能撑过来,我知道这很难,肯定会有痛苦,肯定不会来得轻松容易。不过你能坚持下去 并书写出不同的故事结局。同情自己,我们都值得同情,无论线上还是线下,我们都需要生活在一个更富有同情心的世界。

Thank you for listening.