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听美剧学英语-摩登家庭第四季 第5集:万圣节

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2018年09月17日

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0:00:04.01, Why there are giant lolipops all over the front yard? 前院里怎么有那么多巨型棒棒糖啊
0:00:06.87, And why they taste so bad? 怎么味道那么怪呢
0:00:08.24, Because they are made of cardboard, mouth breather. 因为是硬纸板做的 蠢蛋
0:00:10.30, Hey, the world needs more dreamers, Luke 世界需要梦想家 卢克
0:00:12.88, Never stop licking things. 舔舐不息 梦想不止
0:00:14.60, I know it's lame, 我知道很挫
0:00:15.58, but after last year we promised the neighbours 可是去年答应了邻居们
0:00:17.32, we would keep our decorations more family friendly. 我们会把装饰弄得和谐一点
0:00:20.31, We can't carve a pumpkin? 我们连刻个南瓜都不行吗
0:00:21.58, The petition was very specific. 他们的请愿书写得十分具体
0:00:23.46, Every Halloween, we have the best house. 每次万圣节 我们家装扮得最恐怖
0:00:26.14, Last year, I took things to a whole new level. 去年 我的水平更上一层楼
0:00:29.13, But appearently it's too scary for some kids. 但显然对于某些孩子来说太恐怖了
0:00:31.55, And one adult. 外加一个大人
0:00:34.78, Trick-or-treat! 不给糖就捣蛋
0:00:36.65, Would you like some candy? 你们想要点糖吃吗
0:00:38.57, Yeah! 是的
0:00:39.95, Or would you rather have this? 还是更想要这个呢
0:00:54.67, Come on. You're fine. 别装了 才吓不着你呢
0:00:57.25, I don't care what anyone says. 我才不管别人说什么
0:00:58.34, You did not give that man a heart attack. 反正不是你害的那人心脏病发作
0:01:00.23, Thank you. 谢谢
0:01:00.94, I mean, you're not even scary. 你根本就不吓人
0:01:03.09, Can I grab a little bit of this candy 我能抓点糖吗
0:01:04.23, for my open house tonight? 给今晚看房的客户们吃
0:01:05.30, Uh, yeah, sure, but... 可以 当然 可是
0:01:06.60, It's genius. An open house on Halloween. 太有才了 在万圣节办开放参观
0:01:10.68, Millions of bored parents, 当爹妈的无聊透了
0:01:11.82, just trying to keep their... kids out of traffic. 平常忙着照看孩子 不出车祸
0:01:14.45, Now they can get away from all that, 现在他们可以脱身啦
0:01:15.90, And see a nice house. 去参观一座好房子
0:01:17.63, What do you mean, I'm not even scary? 什么叫我根本就不吓人啊
0:01:19.63, I literally almost scared the life out of a man. 我差点吓出一条人命来
0:01:22.63, You literally scared a little saliva 你就是把人家吓出了点白沫
0:01:24.67, And a little urine out of him. 吓出了点尿
0:01:25.93, That happens to me every time I see a monkey wearing people clothes. 我每次看到猴子穿着人的衣服闹腾就这样
0:01:28.91, I was plenty scary. 我相当吓人
0:01:30.08, I used professional-grade makeup. 我的妆容可是专业等级的
0:01:31.79, That's the point, Claire. It was overkill. 说到点子上了 克莱尔 你太过了
0:01:34.79, You're the kind of person 你是那种
0:01:35.49, who can be twice as scary without wearing any makeup. Bye. 不化妆才吓死人的女人 再见
0:01:38.90,  
0:01:41.90,  
0:01:44.90,  
0:01:48.39, 第四季 第五集  
0:01:52.57, You remembered to pick up the costumes, right? 你记得去把戏服取回来了 是吧
0:01:54.12, Yes, they're right over there. 对的 放在那儿了
0:01:55.16, Very excited. 太激动人心了
0:01:56.04, Cam has lost a lot of weight-- 小卡减了不少肥
0:01:57.82, No. 打住
0:01:58.51, So we're throwing a Halloween party 所以我们打算开个万圣节派对
0:02:00.31, to debut the new him. 让全新的小卡粉墨登场
0:02:01.54, I'll be dressed as a matador. 我将扮成斗牛士
0:02:04.12, Wh-what is it now, 30? 小蛮腰现在尺寸多少 30英寸吗
0:02:05.38, 32.4 32.4英寸
0:02:07.65, So I've lost Lily. 相当于我把莉莉生出来了[丢了]
0:02:10.29, Where is lily? 莉莉去哪儿了
0:02:11.64, - Do you--you don't have her? - No. -你 她没有跟你一起吗 -没
0:02:12.97, Why would I have her? 她怎么会跟我在一起呢
0:02:13.77, - I don't have her in my pocket. - Cam? 我又没把她装在口袋里-小卡
0:02:15.14, What about the tiara? 皇冠头饰呢
0:02:16.61, Uh, we didn't buy one. 我们没买
0:02:17.55, You can just use the one from last year. 你可以戴去年的
0:02:19.07, Are we poor? 我们变穷了吗
0:02:20.19, No, sweetheart, but you don't need two tiaras. 不是 甜心 你用不着两个皇冠头饰啊
0:02:23.35, How about next Halloween you try a different costume? 明年万圣节你换套服装怎么样啊
0:02:25.64, No. I have to be a princess. 不行 我必须扮公主
0:02:27.83, Every year? Why? 每年都要吗 为什么
0:02:29.19, Because my mom's a princess, 因为我妈妈是个公主
0:02:31.08, Just like you told me. 你告诉我的
0:02:34.07, Cam and I have always known that someday, 我和小卡都知道早晚有一天
0:02:36.06, we were gonna have to have the big talk with lily, 我们得和莉莉谈谈
0:02:38.11, about who her mom was. 她妈妈的事
0:02:40.78, We--we were gonna pick the right time 我 我们会找准时机
0:02:42.73, and do it together, 一起跟她谈
0:02:44.57, Carefully following an agreed-upon script. 严格按我们商量好的剧本上演
0:02:48.65, Then I got tired. 然后有一天我累了
0:02:50.65, And she was the most beautiful princess in all the land. 她是人间天堂魔幻三界最漂亮的公主
0:02:54.34, The end." 剧终"
0:02:56.27, Again. 多少遍了啊
0:02:58.11, Why is Tyler's mommy so fat? 为什么泰勒的妈妈那么肥
0:03:02.18, Oh, that's because she has-- she has a baby in her belly. 那是因为她 她怀着个小宝宝
0:03:05.17, Okay? Good night. 行了吧 晚安
0:03:06.52, Was I in my mom's belly? 我妈妈也怀过我吗
0:03:10.04, Lily, no more questions, all right? 莉莉 不许再问了 好吧
0:03:11.43, Just--just go to sleep. 快 快睡觉
0:03:13.26, Where's my mom now? 我妈妈现在在哪儿
0:03:15.71, Um, she's... 她在
0:03:17.82, in a faraway land. 在遥远的国度
0:03:20.37, Why? 为什么
0:03:21.72, Because she's a princess. 因为她是个公主
0:03:24.35, And she's... very, very busy. 并且她 很忙很忙
0:03:28.68, Okay. 好吧
0:03:30.46, I thought that she'd forget about it by the next morning. 我以为她第二天早晨就忘了呢
0:03:32.34, I mean, I did. 反正我是忘了
0:03:34.43, Oh, I knew I was gonna have to tell Cam, 我知道终究是要告诉小卡的
0:03:36.03, and he was gonna be furious, 他知道了肯定会很生气
0:03:37.32, but I was hoping that he'd see the bigger issue. 但我希望他能意识到更严重的问题
0:03:40.02, You know, I was really tired. 我当时真的累惨了
0:03:44.32, Hey, Cam, you know this whole thing 小卡 你知道莉莉
0:03:45.89, about Lily wanting to be a princess again? 今年又想打扮成公主吗
0:03:48.12, Well, I-I think it might be because I let her believe 我想 那可能是因为我让她相信
0:03:49.88, - her mother was-- - This is a nightmare. 她妈妈是-真是场噩梦
0:03:52.26, - It was just a mistake. - More like a disaster. 只是犯了点小错-简直是灾难啊
0:03:55.48, They sent the matador costume in your size, 他们送来的斗牛士服是按你的尺寸做的
0:03:58.40, and the bull costume in mine. 而公牛服按我的尺寸做的
0:04:00.29, Oh. I didn't notice. Um... 我没注意到
0:04:01.68, Now no one's gonna see my bod 穿着这件肥大的公牛服
0:04:03.27, in this bulky bull costume. 别人看不到人家的好身材了啦
0:04:05.39, It was--it was honestly a mistake. 这个 真的是无心之过啦
0:04:07.17, L-listen, um, you--you could do that other thing that you thought of. 听着 你也可以尝试你以前想试的造型
0:04:09.52, You could put on that gorgeous white suit 你现在也可以穿那套
0:04:11.17, that fits you so well now, 超美超合身的白色西服
0:04:13.22, and you could be Mr. Roarke, 然后扮演洛克先生
0:04:13.22, [电视剧《梦幻岛》男主角和他的小搭档]  
0:04:14.40, and Lily could be your Tattoo. 让莉莉扮你的"小纹身"
0:04:15.95, No! I have to be a princess! 不行 人家就要当公主
0:04:18.18, Oh, but, Lily, you were a princess last year. 但是莉莉 你去年就扮过公主了呀
0:04:19.99, No! You promised! I'm being a princess! 不行 你答应过我的 我就要当公主
0:04:24.29, Why is she so obsessed with princesses? 她为什么这么痴迷于公主
0:04:26.99, Well... 怎么说呢
0:04:29.05, Like we weren't at that age? 谁小时候没有痴迷的东西啊
0:04:30.83, I mean... 我是说
0:04:34.29, I'm not mad about the ticket. 我不是因为这罚单生气
0:04:35.52, It's just the first time I couldn't charm my way 只是这是我第一次没能成功地
0:04:37.24, Out of one of these things. 利用个人魅力免于处罚
0:04:38.64, The way I see it, it's not a ticket. 在我看来 这不是罚单问题
0:04:40.80, It's a conversation. 而是社交问题
0:04:42.52, No offense. You don't need that siren. 无意冒犯 但你根本不需要警笛
0:04:44.01, You could stop traffic just getting out of that squad car. 你一下警车 别人就都停下来盯着看了
0:04:46.52, License and registration, please. 请给我你的驾照和车辆注册证
0:04:48.97, I, uh...
0:04:50.95, I'm no stranger to the police academy myself. 我对警察学校挺熟的
0:04:50.95, [名为《警察学校》的系列电影]  
0:04:53.28, Seen all seven of them. 我看过全7部电影
0:04:54.48, Sir, no one's seen all seven. 先生 没人看过7部全辑
0:04:56.41, - Is this information accurate? - Yeah. 上面的个人信息都准确吗-是的
0:04:58.50, Uh, except for the weight. 除了体重
0:05:00.16, I thought they wanted to know how much I could curl. 可能是他们想看看我能蜷缩到什么程度
0:05:03.93, I must be getting rusty with my moves. 我的技能日渐生疏了啊
0:05:05.87, Moves? What moves? 技能 什么技能
0:05:07.04, You know, flash the baby blues, 用魅力震慑那些新女警
0:05:08.55, hit 'em with the devilish grin. 用奸笑迷惑他们
0:05:10.33, In case of emergency, break glass 紧急情况下 砸破车窗
0:05:11.68, and bust out the dimple. 露出我迷人的酒窝
0:05:13.04, Hey, isn't that one from the smallpox? 那不是天花留下的疤吗
0:05:15.36, cause I'm 100. Chicken pox. 你当我100岁了啊 是水痘
0:05:15.36, [天花在美国很早就已灭绝]  
0:05:17.82, And it doesn't matter where it's from. 是什么留下的疤不重要
0:05:18.92, It always worked. 管用就行了
0:05:20.68, Hey, mom. 妈我回来了
0:05:21.35, Manny, why are you coming back from school so late? 曼尼 你怎么这么晚才从学校回来
0:05:23.61, I got sent to the principal's office. 我被叫到校长办公室去了
0:05:25.03, Oh. I am sending him an angry e-mail, 我要发电子邮件骂他去
0:05:26.88, because I don't like when-- 因为我不知道什么时候
0:05:27.90, No, no, no. It's not his fault. 不不不 不是他的错
0:05:29.13, - What did you do wrong? - Nothing. 你做错了什么事-没有
0:05:31.21, Oh, that's it. I'm calling him. 就这样定了 我给他打电话
0:05:32.65, - I hate when he tries to-- - Nothing on purpose. 我讨厌他故意-不是故意的
0:05:34.94, It was between periods, right before this big test. 下课时 在一场大考之前
0:05:37.79, [美国著名演员 导演]  
0:05:37.79, I was clearing my mind by practicing 我在练习吉恩·凯利的舞步
0:05:39.40, some of my Gene Kelly dance moves. 来排除杂念
0:05:40.92, - As one does. - Right. 竟然真有人那样做-没错
0:05:43.01, And my umbrella accidentally snagged the fire alarm. 我的雨伞不小心勾到了火警警报
0:05:45.52, The principal thought I did it on purpose 校长以为我是故意这样做
0:05:46.88, - so we'd miss the test. - But you didn't! 为的是逃避考试-但你不是
0:05:48.95, That's it! I'm going to his house! 就这样 我要找他去
0:05:50.22, Mom! You gotta stop doing this. 妈 你千万别这样
0:05:52.36, I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy, 我不知道是不是因为怀孕
0:05:53.71, which we both know isn't your fault... 当然 怀孕并不是你的错
0:05:58.11, But lately you've been such a hothead. 但最近你总是很暴脾气
0:05:59.48, I am not a hothead! I am Colombian. 我不是暴脾气 我是哥伦比亚人
0:06:02.29, We get excited. 我们这叫兴奋
0:06:03.30, My country is covered in coffee. 我们国家到处是咖啡
0:06:05.62, Just like the Starbucks girl 那个星巴克服务员
0:06:06.61, when she got your order wrong? 听错你订单之后的反应也叫兴奋吗
0:06:07.81, Half-caf, non-fat wet soy latte. 半"咖灰" 无脂 "丝豆辣铁"
0:06:09.84, How hard is that to hear?! 这很难听清吗
0:06:20.85, You don't get to be 2-time nonconsecutive 不按常规思考的人不可能
0:06:22.48, district salesman of the year without thinking inside the box. 两次夺得年度跨区域推销员称号的
0:06:25.25, That's right. I said "Inside." 没错 我说的就是 按常规
0:06:27.95, You know why? 'cause while everyone's 知道为什么吗 因为当每个人
0:06:28.98, chasing each other around outside the box, 都试图打破常规时
0:06:30.86, You know what the box is? 你知道常规是什么吗
0:06:33.71, Empty. 常规里空无一人
0:06:35.60, Which brings us back to our formal dining room. 现在我们又回到了正式的用餐室
0:06:38.59, Now any questions? 有什么问题吗
0:06:39.96, Can we have our candy now? 可以给我们糖果了吗
0:06:41.63, Just as soon as we go over 想要糖果很简单
0:06:42.71, what you're gonna tell your parents. 先重复一遍回去后要跟爸妈说的话
0:06:44.40, - Now what was our style? - Pre-war craftsman. 我们的风格是什么-战前工匠
0:06:47.74, Good, good. And how many square feet? 好 很好 面积是多少平方英尺
0:06:49.62, 3,500.00 三千五
0:06:53.62, Still no trick-or-treaters? 还没有要糖的捣蛋鬼上门吗
0:06:55.24, - Not yet. - Well, maybe people are going out later this year. 还没-可能今年大家出门晚吧
0:06:58.92, Well, the street's full of kids, 大街上全是小孩
0:07:00.40, but they're actively detouring around our house. 但他们都远远地避开我们家
0:07:03.80, Move along. 往前走
0:07:12.41, Who wants some candy? 谁要糖糖
0:07:13.94, Plenty of name-brand... 好多知名品牌
0:07:15.58, - family-friendly candy right here. - Oh! It's a trap! 家庭友善型糖糖在这里-那是圈套
0:07:18.13, No. I--ooh, how about you? Hey-- 没有 我 哎呀 你呢
0:07:20.91, You want some candy, right? Come on, 你要糖糖吗 来嘛
0:07:22.40, - have some candy! - Mom! Mommy, she's got me! 拿糖糖-妈 妈妈 她抓住我了
0:07:23.71, No, I don't-- I'm not trying-- 不是 我不是故意的
0:07:25.22, - My candy! - Just leave it! 我的糖-不要了
0:07:36.57, Jay, you have to get ready for Mitch and Cam's party. 杰 你得准备去米奇和小卡的派对了
0:07:39.55, Gloria, does my skin look looser to you? 歌洛莉亚 你看我的皮肤是不是松了很多
0:07:42.93, What? 什么
0:07:43.92, Maybe I should try some of that fancy neck cream of yours. 或许我应该试试你的颈部紧致霜
0:07:45.96, Don't you have some with specks of diamonds in it or something? 你不是说那里面有什么钻石精华还是什么的
0:07:49.45, Trick-or-treat. 不给糖就捣乱
0:07:50.82, You guys don't even have costumes. 你俩连戏服都没穿
0:07:53.11, I'm a skeleton. 我扮的是一副骨架
0:07:54.06, And I'm--I'm a lemon. 我扮的是一颗柠檬
0:07:55.30, Aren't you too old to be trick-or-treating? 你们玩不给糖就捣蛋也太超龄了吧
0:07:56.98, Aren't you too old to be having a baby? 你一大把年纪生孩子不也超龄了吗
0:07:59.72, Ah, you find that funny, lemon? 你觉得好笑吗 柠檬
0:08:01.79, Here's a better joke. 还有更好笑的
0:08:03.30, Knock, knock. What's gone? 开门 开门 啥没了
0:08:06.06, Your candy! 你们的糖糖
0:08:10.99, What was that? 怎么了
0:08:11.62, Some rude dummies, that they think that they can-- 没礼貌的傻瓜 他们以为他们能...
0:08:13.15, All right, listen. Let's just calm down. 好了 要冷静
0:08:17.16, Get ready for the party. 准备去参加派对
0:08:18.05, Calm down what? 冷什么静
0:08:19.56, You think I'm a hothead, like Manny? 你也和曼尼一样觉得我脾气暴躁吗
0:08:21.49, No!
0:08:22.88, You can be emotional. Volatile, maybe. 你有些情绪化 可能有点些易怒
0:08:25.88, Still, that's a far cry from-- 但远远算不上...
0:08:28.17, You put egg on my house, 你们往老娘家扔鸡蛋
0:08:29.81, I kill what you love! 你们是不想好了
0:08:32.23, psycho. 精神病
0:08:34.55, - Plush utility room? - Yeah, right. 豪华储物间-是啊 没错
0:08:36.24, I know a hall closet when I see one. 我怎么没见着大套间
0:08:37.88, And your dad never lies? 就像你爹从来不撒谎似的
0:08:39.36, What medical school 你那给电器看病的老爹
0:08:40.09, did the great appliance doctor attend? 上的是什么医学院来着
0:08:42.02, -Hey, Delgado. - Oh, no! Durkas! 迪尔加多-不 是德卡斯
0:08:44.33, What I wouldn't give for this umbrella to have 只要让这把伞拥有玛丽·波平斯仙女的魔力
0:08:44.33, [迪斯尼剧集《欢乐满人间》中的角色]  
0:08:45.69, Mary Poppins' powers. 我什么都愿意
0:08:46.78, Oh, I pray he didn't hear that. 但愿他没听见
0:08:48.62, Heard you pulled the fire alarm today 听说你今天拉响了防火警报
0:08:49.82, and got us out of that test. 让我们逃掉了一场考试
0:08:51.51, - Good job. - Thanks, Mr. Durkas. 干的不错-谢谢夸奖 德卡斯先生
0:08:53.21, You know what? You don't need to call me that anymore. 知道吗 你以后不用那么称呼我了
0:08:55.82, Anyway, we're all meeting at the playground at 8:00 还有 我们大家八点钟在操场上集会
0:08:57.61, And heading out, if you want to join. 然后出去玩 你想来就一起吧
0:08:59.61, You're totally going to that. 你一定要去
0:09:00.91, Yeah, if you want to ruin your reputation. 是嘛 那样可就毁了你好学生的美名了
0:09:02.70, You're finally gonna be in with the cool kids. 你总算能和那些酷小孩一起玩了
0:09:04.40, You need to talk at the school assembly on Monday 那样你周一就得在全校大会上
0:09:06.30, and apologize to all the teachers. 向全体老师道歉
0:09:08.14, Teachers. More like public sector parasites. 老师 更像是政府企业中的寄生虫
0:09:10.48, Be strong, Manny. 坚强点 曼尼
0:09:11.69, Be smart. Adventures, parties. 放聪明点 冒险 派对
0:09:13.82, Juvie, heartache. 少管所 心脏病
0:09:15.04, Girls! 小美妞们
0:09:15.78, But not the kind we want. 但不是我们想要的那种
0:09:17.31, They're all the kind we want. 那全都是我们想要的
0:09:19.02, Mr. Dur-- 德拉斯先...
0:09:20.54, Conrad! 康纳德
0:09:24.20, Take one. I'm an egg donor. 拿一个 我是捐蛋人[卵子捐献者]
0:09:27.56, I love your costume, too, Cam. Adora-bull. 我也喜欢你的装扮 小卡 可爱的牛牛
0:09:29.76, Oh, well, thank you. It's all in fun. 谢谢 都是为了搞笑
0:09:31.64, I half-wanted to wear something tighter. 我其实想穿比较紧身的戏服
0:09:33.00, - You know, I've been reducing. - I can see. -你懂的 我瘦了 -能看出来
0:09:34.79, - Well, you say it like you can't. - No, no, no. I totally can. 你言不由衷啊-没 我真看出来了
0:09:39.63, Impressive, huh? 不错吧
0:09:41.30, Yeah. I'm--I'm gonna... 是 我 我得...
0:09:44.40, - Hey, Cam. - Mm? 小卡-怎么
0:09:45.72, I'm hearing a rumor that you keep flashing our guests. 我听说你在我们的客人面前脱衣服
0:09:47.58, Oh, well, not in a perverted way. 不是变态的啦
0:09:49.19, I just want people to see my body 我只是希望让大家看看我隐藏在
0:09:50.73, under this stupid costume. 这套烂戏服下的苗条身材
0:09:52.39, That's very close to what actual flashers say. 这理由跟真正露阴癖的说辞差不多
0:09:54.34, Daddy?-Yeah,one second,honey. 爸爸-等一下 宝贝
0:09:55.88, I'm just tired of throwing out compliments 我已经厌倦了不断赞美他人
0:09:57.11, and not getting anything back. 却一句好话也听不到
0:09:58.03, I told Roberto his spray tan looked real. 我跟罗伯托说他的美黑做得很自然
0:09:59.79, Look for yourself. It's on two of our pillows and our cat. 你自己看 把我们家枕头和猫都染黑了
0:10:02.37, Daddy. Yeah? 爹地 怎么了
0:10:03.83, Lookit. It's my mommy. She came. 看 那是我妈咪 她来了
0:10:06.43, Oh. Oh, no, honey, that's not your mommy. 不 宝贝 那不是你妈咪
0:10:08.74, It's not? 不是吗
0:10:09.47, No, no. That's just one of daddy's friends. 不是的 那只是爸爸的一个朋友
0:10:11.81, - What's going on? - Oh, nothing. 什么情况-没什么
0:10:12.89, She just wants one of these cupcakes. 她只是想吃蛋糕了
0:10:14.23, - But I already had... - Oh, there you go, honey. 但我已经吃过...-给你吃 宝贝
0:10:16.01, Okay, off you go. Mingle! Mingle! 好了 去吧 去交朋友 交起来
0:10:21.94, Looks like some people came by. 看来有人来过了
0:10:23.55, Yeah. Oh, yeah, we had a few. 是的 没错 有好几个人呢
0:10:25.19, I saw that. 我看到你给踢下去了
0:10:28.45, Hello? 你好
0:10:29.14, Hey, honey. 嘿 亲爱的
0:10:30.91, Hi. How's your open house? 你的开放参观搞得怎样
0:10:33.39, Pretty empty, actually. 没什么人来 其实
0:10:35.10, I kind of just took it out 我把气撒在一个
0:10:35.97, on a Harry Potter. 扮成哈利·波特的孩子身上了
0:10:37.72, Seriously, though, a Gryffindor 不过说真的 格兰芬多的学生
0:10:38.84, letting his mom carry his Quidditch broom? 怎么会让他妈帮他拿魁地奇飞天扫帚
0:10:40.52, How Hufflepuff is that? 那有多赫奇帕奇作风啊
0:10:42.03, It's pretty lonely here, too. 我这里也很凄凉
0:10:43.69, We have been shunned by the whole neighborhood. 我们被所有邻居列入黑名单了
0:10:45.34, That's ridiculous. 太荒谬了
0:10:46.26, All over some mild little gag you pulled? 就因为你那个温柔的小把戏吗
0:10:49.74, It was not mild. There was an investig... 那并不温柔 都有人来调查...
0:10:54.57, Oh, I-I thought I heard someone. 我想我听到有人进来
0:10:56.12, I guess it was just trees tapping against the window. 可能只是树枝敲得窗户响
0:10:59.47, It's pretty creepy over here in this rattly old house. 在这陈旧得格格直响的房子里真恐怖
0:11:03.07, Anyway, I'll probably give it another 30 minutes, 总之 我可能再呆半小时
0:11:05.12, then I'll see you at home. 然后就回去了
0:11:06.61, Okay. Bye. 好的 再见
0:11:08.93, What are you laughing about? 你笑什么呢
0:11:10.21, Oh, it's just your poor dad, you know. 笑你可怜的老爸 你懂的
0:11:13.03, Your poor, dumb dad. 你可怜的傻老爸
0:11:24.57, I'll fill you in at the staff meeting 我明天员工大会上再告诉你
0:11:25.68, after Keneally's done telling us about his morning commute. 不过先得等克莱利说完他早晨上班路上的事
0:11:29.41, That's hilarious! You sound just like him. 太逗了 你学他学得真像
0:11:31.83, You are so doing that at Christmas talent night. 圣诞才艺表演时你一定得来一段
0:11:34.48, Dude, "Rich Girl", "Sara Smile"... 哥们 《千金小姐》 《莎拉的微笑》
0:11:34.48, [都是Hall & Oates乐队的歌曲]  
0:11:37.17, then a "Maneater" Encore. 以及返场的《少男杀手》
0:11:39.58, It was scary how good they were. 他们简直棒得可怕
0:11:41.90, Close your eyes, it could have been the real band. 闭上眼睛听 跟真的乐队演唱一样
0:11:44.47, Yeah, he got lucky in the football pool once, 他赌球时走运了那么一次
0:11:46.24, and now he wants to double the stakes. 现在就要加倍下赌注了
0:11:48.34, Oh, I'm so scared! 我好怕怕
0:11:51.10, Right? 有没有
0:11:53.36, Well, this night was a bust. 今晚弱爆了
0:11:55.17, not a single person even... 一个人都没有...
0:11:58.92, Or did I speak too soon? 还是我过早断言了
0:12:01.56, Was someone in the mood to be a bad little ghoul? 有人想扮坏小鬼了吗
0:12:05.17, Oh, Connie, I didn't mean you. 康尼 我不是说你
0:12:07.96, I'm...hey, that's just...that's just the divorce talking. 我 那 那只是离婚的事影响了你
0:12:11.88, Hang in there. 坚持住
0:12:13.24, Bye-bye. 再见
0:12:25.78, Well, someone decided to take a trip 看来某人终于决定变装成
0:12:26.91, to Fantasy Island after all. 《梦幻岛》里的人物了
0:12:28.52, Well, I'm tired of people not noticing my new physique. 我好讨厌人们注意不到我全新曼妙的体形
0:12:30.18, If this doesn't work, I'm breaking out the diaper 要是这还不成 我就穿上尿布
0:12:31.45, and top hat and going as Baby New Year! Hello. 戴上大礼帽扮作新年宝宝 你好
0:12:33.04, Oh, my god! 天呐
0:12:35.26, John-John, is that you? 囧囧 是你吗
0:12:37.70, - You look amazing. - Thanks! 你看起来太棒了-谢谢
0:12:39.93, That's what happens when you lose 100 pounds. 减掉一百磅 身材自然棒
0:12:42.01, Oh, come on. What a... 靠 他个小贱...
0:12:43.39, - Who wants to lift me? - Me. 谁想举我-我
0:12:44.68, Come on. How could he have not called us? 拜托 他怎么能不打电话就过来呢
0:12:47.18, Oh, my god, he's as light as a feather. 天呐 他轻得像羽毛一样
0:12:49.32, You know what? I'm gonna go lift him 你猜怎么着 我要去举举他
0:12:50.85, and shake him till his staples pop. 然后晃到他眼球爆出来
0:12:52.40, Cam, stop! 小卡 别这样
0:12:53.33, Just saying that we could have caught those kids. 我只是说我们原本可以抓住那两个小子
0:12:55.42, What, and chase them around all night? 怎么着 要追着他们跑一晚上吗
0:12:57.22, I'm not a young man anymore, 我不是个年轻小伙子了
0:12:58.70, as the world keeps pointing out. 世人都不断提醒我那一点
0:13:00.58, What did that waiter just call you outside? 刚刚外面那个服务生叫你什么
0:13:02.10, Medieval Knievel. 中世纪的科尼尔
0:13:04.01, That is hilarious. 好好笑哦
0:13:05.38, I love when people put some thought into their outfit. 我喜欢人们在装扮上花心思
0:13:07.22, [《非法外星人》为电影名 也有非法移民的意思]  
0:13:07.22, Illegal Alien, Sugar Daddy. 你是非法外星人 我是甜爹
0:13:09.15, Why do you say "illegal"? 你为什么说"非法"
0:13:10.48, Because antennas are alien, and you're... 因为戴着天线代表外星人 而你是...
0:13:12.13, What? Illegal? 怎样 非法移民吗
0:13:13.65, Because of the color of my skin? 就因为我的肤色吗
0:13:15.71, Why don't I dump your baby in your gas tank? 我干脆把你的宝宝扔进这煤气罐里吧
0:13:18.57, Gloria! Uh, no hard feelings, please. 歌洛莉亚 别这样 请别介意
0:13:20.50, Just enjoy the party, okay? 尽情享受你的派对 好吗
0:13:23.12, First of all, relax. We're at a party. 首先 放轻松 我们在派对上呢
0:13:24.74, Secondly, you've been deported twice. 其次 你已经被驱逐出境两次
0:13:27.06, You're not allowed to be that defensive. 你不能再这么敏感了
0:13:29.59, What is it with me lately? 我最近是怎么了
0:13:31.40, Manny's right. I'm such a hothead. 曼尼是对的 我真是个暴脾气
0:13:33.30, It happens. You're pregnant. 这是难免的 你怀孕了
0:13:36.07, That's what it is, isn't it? 就是这个原因 对吗
0:13:37.86, It's the baby. It's angry in there. 因为这个宝宝 他在里面生闷气
0:13:41.32, - No! - Yes! 不是的-就是
0:13:42.60, You just said it yourself. I have changed. 你刚刚自己说的 我变了
0:13:45.95, I have an angry baby inside of me making me do bad things! 我肚子里有个愤怒的娃 逼着我干坏事
0:13:48.79, It's just hormones. 荷尔蒙而已
0:13:50.54, It's your mama bear instinct kicking in. 是你的熊妈妈本能在发作
0:13:50.83, [熊妈妈异常护犊子 所以把情绪激烈的孕期母亲称作熊妈妈]
0:13:52.24, And that's a good thing, 不是什么坏事
0:13:53.10, because that means you're gonna be a great mom--again. 因为这说明你会是一个好母亲 第二次
0:13:58.49, Do you really think so? 你真这么想
0:13:59.47, You got a lucky little kid in there. 你肚里的娃真幸运
0:14:00.91, He's got a mom who's not gonna let anyone harm him. 他的妈妈可不会让任何人伤害他
0:14:04.32, Or her. 或她
0:14:06.30, Or--or him. 希望是儿子
0:14:07.51, Trick-or-treat. 不给糖果就捣蛋
0:14:13.69, Go ahead. 去吧
0:14:14.97, You better run! 你们最好跑快点
0:14:19.12, Oh, my gosh, 我的天呐
0:14:19.65, Is that the most precious thing you've ever seen? 看看多萌啊
0:14:21.53, Oh, my god. 我的天
0:14:23.56, Do you know other princesses? 你还认识其他公主吗
0:14:25.67, Trust me. I know lots. 相信我 我认识一大堆呢
0:14:27.07, Okay. Bedtime. 好了 该睡觉了
0:14:28.23, Oh, no, it's not that late. 别 没那么晚
0:14:29.65, Do you know my mom? She's a princess. 你认识我妈妈吗 她就是个公主
0:14:32.40, She's exhausted. 她累坏了
0:14:33.32, She's not making sense. She's so tired. 说胡话呢 她太累了
0:14:35.16, Daddy, you told me! 爸爸 是你跟我说的
0:14:36.71, What is she talking about, Mitchell? 她说什么呢 米奇尔
0:14:38.24, My real mom. She is, right? 我的亲身母亲 她是公主 对吧
0:14:40.55, Okay, I think we need to have a little talk. 好了 我想我们需要谈谈
0:14:43.30, Sam, do you notice how slim Cam's getting? 萨姆 注意到小卡变苗条了没
0:14:45.37, Nice try. I will be back for that answer. 少来 等我回来再听你的回答
0:14:52.00, This isn't gonna work, Claire... 没用的 克莱尔
0:14:54.53, cause I know you're here. 我知道你在这儿
0:14:58.26, What's the plan, anyway? 打算怎么吓我呀
0:15:00.44, You gonna pop out at me? 冷不丁蹦出来吗
0:15:02.39, It's gonna take more than that to scare this-- 要想吓到我这还差得远
0:15:03.96, - Hello?! - Hi! 有人吗-嗨
0:15:05.72, Is the house still open? 还能看房吗
0:15:06.99, Oh, yes! Yes! I'll be right down. 能 是的 我马上下来
0:15:09.59, Claire, this is serious! I have a job! 克莱尔 别闹了 我有工作
0:15:11.93, Not that you don't. You work 24/7 并不是说你没工作 你全年无休
0:15:13.53, and you don't get half the appreciation you deserve. 得到的回报远少于付出的
0:15:15.26, Can we talk about this later? 但我们能过会再说不
0:15:17.03, As you potential buyers can see, 如你们潜在买家所见
0:15:19.19, This is a, uh, a beautiful home. 这是 一座漂亮的房子
0:15:21.59, What's behind here? 这后面是什么
0:15:22.39, Oh, I wouldn't go in there! 是我就不过去
0:15:24.29, Unless you love formal dining rooms. 除非你们喜欢正式餐厅
0:15:28.60, - Honey, look at this. - I'm in the kitchen. -亲爱的 瞧瞧这个 -在厨房呢
0:15:30.23, Oh, we should probably stay together. 我们最好呆在一起
0:15:32.78, Come on, Sheila. 赶紧的 希拉
0:15:34.55, - Phil, one question. Are these-- - Wait, wait. -菲尔 问个问题 这些是 -等等
0:15:35.86, I just love to see people's reactions 我超爱看人们的反应
0:15:37.68, When I show them-- 当我向他们展示
0:15:38.72, So much storage. What? It's crazy! 如此大的存储空间 靠 太疯狂了
0:15:42.08, I think you guys will find that this house 我想你们会发现这所房子
0:15:43.56, is full of so many... delightful surprises 惊喜重重
0:15:47.01, That you'll be happy here for-- 你们会很高兴...
0:15:48.43, - Oh, my god! - I don't know her! 我的天呐-那人我不认识
0:15:50.56, Is this the original tub? 这是原装浴缸吗
0:15:52.02, What? Yes, it is. 什么 是的
0:15:54.15, It is, uh, the original tub. 它是 原装浴缸
0:15:55.80, Um, original fixtures, beveled mirror, 原始夹具 斜面镜
0:15:58.09, Just a-a huge stall shower. 有个宽敞的淋浴隔间就足够了
0:15:59.79, If you guys would, uh, want to have a party. 如果你们将 想搞个派对的话
0:16:01.96, I'm kidding, of course. 我开玩笑呢
0:16:03.18, But, um, just a house with a real personality. 这是座 个性鲜明的房子
0:16:09.78, We'll be right in, sweetie. 我们马上就来 甜心
0:16:11.56, We agreed to tell Lily about her mother together, 我们说好要一起告诉莉莉她娘的事
0:16:13.44, wearing calming earth tones, 一起穿着大地色有镇静作用的衣服
0:16:14.64, and we agreed to tell her the truth. 而且我们说好要告诉她真相的
0:16:16.50, I know, but haven't you ever said something dumb to Lily 我知道 但难道你就从没向莉莉说过
0:16:18.59, that you wish she would just forget? 任何希望她转眼忘掉的蠢话
0:16:20.01, This isn't about me. Let's just fix this. 别扯上我 赶紧解决这事吧
0:16:22.38, Okay, great. Although... 好的 挺好 但是...
0:16:24.99, the way you agreed so quickly makes me wonder 你答应得如此爽快让我不得不怀疑
0:16:26.44, what sort of things you've told her. 你又对莉莉说过些什么
0:16:28.03, I may have told her her fibs kills birds. 我可能告诉过她说谎会害死小鸟
0:16:30.37, Wow. We're coming back to that one. 你真行 等下再来谈这事
0:16:33.92, Oh, hi, princess. 嗨 公主
0:16:35.17, Hey, Lil. Could we talk to you for a second? 乖女儿 能说个小话不
0:16:37.53, Am I in trouble? 我闯祸了吗
0:16:38.79, Oh, gosh, no. Of course not, sweetie. 我的天 没有 当然不是 甜心
0:16:41.93, Um... Well, do you remember how we used to tell you 你还记得我们过去老跟你说
0:16:44.56, there was a heaven for all the flowers that die? 枯萎的花会到达天堂的事吗
0:16:46.78, What do you mean, "used to"? 过去老说是神马意思
0:16:47.95, Sorry, I let it slip. We'll deal with it later. 抱歉 说漏嘴鸟 过会儿再谈
0:16:49.78, Much much are you not telling me? 乃到底瞒着我多少事
0:16:51.19, Why are you talking like this? 乃们为什么这么说话
0:16:53.32, Daddies took a little side trip. 爸爸们刚说岔了
0:16:54.35, - Sorry, sweetie. - Um, so sometimes, uh, -不好意思 甜心 -有时候
0:16:57.41, we tell you things like that to make you feel better. 我们说一些话只是想让你高兴
0:17:00.38, And I might have done the same thing 当我告诉你你妈妈是公主时
0:17:03.15, when I told you that your mom is a princess. 也只是想让你高兴
0:17:06.81, So she's not? 那她不是公主
0:17:10.10, Well, you know what? 你知道吗
0:17:11.44, - She might be. - She might be. 她可能是-可能是的
0:17:13.44, But we can't know for sure, honey, 但我们不能肯定 宝贝
0:17:15.17, Because... well, we don't know where she is 因为 我们不知道她在哪里
0:17:18.83, Or... what she's doing. 或是 她在做什么
0:17:21.39, B-but what--what we do know 但我们知道的是
0:17:22.78, is that she loved you very, very much... 她非常非常爱你
0:17:24.70, And she knew that she couldn't take care of you, 她知道自己没法好好照顾你
0:17:26.40, so she made sure that you went 所以她让你来到了
0:17:28.49, with the most loving family she could find. 她能找到的最有爱的家庭
0:17:31.90, And that's how the three of us became a family. 所以我们三个人组成了一个家
0:17:34.58, Does that make sense, sweetie? 这样说你能接受吗 亲爱的
0:17:37.28, Do you have any questions for us? 你有问题要问我们吗
0:17:39.05, Why did you say a fib and kill a bird? 你们为什么要说谎 害死一只鸟
0:17:45.32, I noticed you walking in with your wife earlier. 我刚才注意到你和你太太一起来的
0:17:47.31, She's stunning. 她好漂亮
0:17:48.23, You know my favorite part of that compliment? 知道你这句恭维话里我最喜欢什么吗
0:17:49.75, You knew she was my wife. 你认为她是我太太
0:17:50.81, Half the world thinks she's my daughter. 全世界一半的人认为她是我女儿
0:17:52.61, Well, if you ask me, she's a lucky girl. 要我说 幸运的是她
0:17:55.14, Bummer for me, though. 对我来说就不幸了
0:17:56.46, Handsomest man in here, and he's taken. 大帅哥在这里 却已经名草有主了
0:17:58.80, I'll bet you do all right with the boys. 我敢肯定你的追求者不少
0:18:01.82, I do. 的确
0:18:03.25, It's the men I'm interested in. 而我感兴趣的是你
0:18:04.88, You just put it all right out there, don't you? 看来你是个很直接的人啊
0:18:06.57, I always try to hold a little something back. 我一直想尝试含蓄些
0:18:10.79, Oh, my gosh. 我的天
0:18:11.56, No, no, no, no, no, no. Leave him. 别过去 别管他们
0:18:13.47, - No, but you know that's a-- - I know. He needs this. 可你知道这是...-知道 他需要这个
0:18:16.13, Okay. 好吧
0:18:16.59, - It was great meeting you, Jay. - You, too, Sam. -很高兴认识你 杰 -我也是 萨姆
0:18:18.94, Wow! Looks like somebody really likes you. 哇 看来某人很喜欢你啊
0:18:21.34, What can I say? I still got it. 我能说什么呢 魅力不减当年啊
0:18:22.93, I've been meaning to ask you-- have you lost some weight? 我一直想问你 你瘦身了吗
0:18:24.95, - Because you look good. - Wow, you have no idea 你看起来棒极了-你不知道
0:18:27.41, what that means to hear from you, Jay. 你这句话对我来说多重要 杰
0:18:29.02, Uh, turn it that way. 抱那边
0:18:30.70, I thought this might cheer you up. 我觉得这样会让你开心起来
0:18:32.69, Da plane! Da plane! 灰机 灰机
0:18:34.94, Baby girl! 宝贝女儿
0:18:36.60, Look you! You even taught her the catchphrase. 瞧你 连经典词都教给她了
0:18:38.77, Yeah. Jay, have you seen my new tattoo? 杰 来见见我的新"纹身"
0:18:41.09, - Be in touch. - Well, thanks so much for coming. 再联系-多谢前来
0:18:42.60, - Yeah. Thanks. - Okay. 多谢-客气了
0:18:49.01, Okay, Claire, they're gone. You can come out now. 克莱尔 他们走了 你可以出来了
0:18:53.65, Claire? 克莱尔
0:18:55.38, Honey, I'm sorry I said you weren't scary. 亲爱的 很抱歉我之前说你不吓人
0:18:57.76, It's been such a long day. 今天太累了
0:18:59.36, Can we please just go home? 我们回家好吗
0:19:07.46, All right. I'm leaving without ya. 好了 我自己走咯
0:19:27.90, So... this remote you know how to use. 看来 你会用这个遥控器啊
0:19:47.22, Yes?
0:19:47.77, Phil, where are you? 菲尔 你在哪里
0:19:49.34, Claire? Where are you? 克莱尔 你在哪里
0:19:51.77, I came over to scare you, but then I heard you 我过去吓你 但听到你带那对夫妻
0:19:53.70, showing the house to that couple, 参观房子
0:19:55.09, so I got out of your way. 所以我就没妨碍你
0:19:57.75, Are you at home? 你在家里吗
0:19:58.66, Yeah. I got here ten minutes ago. 是 我十分钟前就回来了
0:20:00.71, S-so... So you're saying... 那 那你是说
0:20:04.04, This call isn't coming from inside the house? 这通电话不是从这间房子里打来的
0:20:07.34, What are you talking about? Just get home. 你说什么呢 快回家吧
0:20:08.95, The kids and I are hungry. 孩子们和我都饿了
0:20:10.42, Yeah, hurry up, dad. 快点 爸
0:20:11.69, We miss you! 我们想你
0:20:14.51, Miss you, too, buddy. 我也想你 小老弟
0:20:53.42, Trick-or-treat! 不给糖就捣蛋
0:20:58.11, I wasn't really that scared. 其实我也没那么害怕啦
0:21:03.38, Okay. 好吧怕死了
0:21:12.06, Hey, you never told me if you hit those kids with that egg. 你还没说你有没有用蛋砸到那些小子
0:21:14.44, They blended into the crowd, 他们混进了人群
0:21:15.58, but there was a slow one with them. 但有个动作慢的
0:21:17.62, He couldn't run so fast, 他跑不快
0:21:18.72, and I nailed him pretty good. 所以我好好地用蛋给他洗了下
0:21:21.28, - I warned you. - Okay, Reuben. 我警告过你的-好啦 罗本
0:21:23.62, Where are your cool friends now? 你那些酷朋友现在去哪里了
0:21:25.22, Not q-tipping your ear, that's for sure. 没用棉签替你清洗耳朵 这是肯定的
0:21:27.17, Okay, Reuben. 得了 罗本
0:21:28.98, This is why I never hang out with cool kids. 这就是我不和酷孩子混在一起的原因
0:21:30.82, Yeah, you rejected them, 是啊 是你拒绝了他们
0:21:32.40, Shortly after you and your mom 就在你和你妈在达人秀上
0:21:33.44, roller danced at the talent show. 表演滚轴溜冰舞之后
0:21:35.08, Oh... we were robbed. 我家被烧了缺钱
0:21:36.38, Couldn't have been the song you picked. 反正跟你们选的歌一点关系都没有
0:21:37.81, Wind beneath my w-- Ow! 《翼下之风》 痛

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