生活大爆炸第十一季 第6集：霍华德结扎 伯纳黛特生子 佩妮带娃
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| 第十一季 第六集 | |
| 0,0:00:06.85, | Howie, slow down. |
| 华仔 吃慢点 | |
| 0,0:00:08.38, | I can't. |
| 不行 | |
| 0,0:00:08.94, | I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, |
| 手术之前12小时都不能吃东西 | |
| 0,0:00:11.34, | and I only got two more minutes. |
| 我只剩两分钟了 | |
| 0,0:00:16.84, | What surgery are you having? |
| 你也要动什么手术吗 | |
| 0,0:00:19.25, | I'm stress eating. |
| 我是压力型暴饮暴食 | |
| 0,0:00:20.90, | My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow. |
| 我最好的朋友明天要去结扎了 | |
| 0,0:00:24.09, | And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child? |
| 你是难过自己再也没机会怀他宝宝吗 | |
| 0,0:00:28.15, | Oh, my goodness. |
| 我的天 | |
| 0,0:00:29.48, | If it's "Vasectomy gone wrong" videos, |
| 如果是"结扎手术失误"视频集锦 | |
| 0,0:00:31.36, | he's seen them all. |
| 他已经全部看过了 | |
| 0,0:00:32.66, | Including the one of the guy who's sitting |
| 包括一个男人看起来像坐在哈密瓜上 | |
| 0,0:00:34.11, | on what appears to be a cantaloupe but is not. |
| 但其实是他自己血肿蛋蛋的那个视频 | |
| 0,0:00:38.06, | And I'm done. |
| 我不吃了 | |
| 0,0:00:41.13, | They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again. |
| 他们要重新开拍《质子教授科学秀》节目了 | |
| 0,0:00:44.69, | I thought he passed away. |
| 我还以为他已经过世了 | |
| 0,0:00:45.75, | He did. |
| 没错 | |
| 0,0:00:46.40, | 儿童科学节目常有的科学小实验 |
| 水中加入几勺苏打粉 再加一点白醋能像火山爆发 | |
| 0,0:00:46.40, | He was cremated, and his remains were put in a baking soda volcano. |
| 他火化后 骨灰都投进了小苏打火山里了 | |
| 0,0:00:52.48, | Don't make jokes. He meant a lot to Sheldon. |
| 别乱开玩笑 他对谢尔顿意义重大 | |
| 0,0:00:54.87, | Oh, me, too. I grew up watching his show. |
| 我也一样 我是看着他节目长大的 | |
| 0,0:00:56.61, | He's one of the reasons I became a scientist. |
| 他是我成为科学家的原因之一 | |
| 0,0:00:58.65, | Thought you did it just to get girls. |
| 我还以为你是为了把妹呢 | |
| 0,0:01:02.15, | Joke's on you. It worked. |
| 哈哈 我不是把到你了吗 | |
| 0,0:01:05.96, | Have they found anyone to replace him? |
| 他们找到接班人了吗 | |
| 0,0:01:07.51, | No, not yet, and it won't be easy. |
| 不 还没有 这可不简单 | |
| 0,0:01:09.59, | Arthur Jeffries was an accomplished scientist. |
| 亚瑟·杰弗里斯是一个成就颇丰的科学家 | |
| 0,0:01:12.35, | You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? |
| 你知道谁可以演好质子教授吗 | |
| 0,0:01:15.20, | Meryl Streep. |
| 影后梅丽尔·斯特里普 | |
| 0,0:01:18.54, | She's not a scientist. |
| 她不是科学家 | |
| 0,0:01:20.02, | Uh, then explain to me why |
| 那你告诉我 | |
| 0,0:01:21.49, | she has chemistry with literally everyone. |
| 为什么她和每个人都能产生化学反应 | |
| 0,0:01:26.11, | It would be nice if they cast a woman. |
| 如果他们能让女演员来演也不错 | |
| 0,0:01:28.04, | 新版《神秘博士》和《捉鬼特工队》的主角都是女性 |
| 0,0:01:28.04, | Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters. |
| 你们已经有了《神秘博士》和《捉鬼特工队》 | |
| 0,0:01:30.16, | Leave us something. |
| 给我们男人剩点吧 | |
| 0,0:01:32.88, | Who do you think it should be? |
| 你觉得应该让谁演 | |
| 0,0:01:34.35, | Well, it should be a scientist I respect. |
| 应该选一个我敬重的科学家 | |
| 0,0:01:37.07, | You know, someone with a pleasing voice |
| 一个声线悦耳动听 | |
| 0,0:01:39.60, | and symmetrical facial features. |
| 五官均匀对称的人 | |
| 0,0:01:42.04, | Is he talking about himself? |
| 他是在说他自己吗 | |
| 0,0:01:43.32, | If he's talking, he's talking about himself. |
| 他说话时 都是在说自己 | |
| 0,0:01:46.78, | I just know how much Professor Proton touched me as a child, |
| 我只知道质子教授在我小时候触碰了我心 | |
| 0,0:01:50.14, | and I feel that I owe it to him |
| 我觉得我应该还他这份情 | |
| 0,0:01:52.36, | to try and touch as many children as possible. |
| 也该像他那样去"触碰"更多孩子 | |
| 0,0:02:00.74, | You should put that on your audition tape. |
| 你该把这句话放进试镜视频里 | |
| 0,0:02:32.32, | You doing okay? |
| 你还好吗 | |
| 0,0:02:33.69, | No, I'm very nervous. |
| 不 人家紧张死了 | |
| 0,0:02:47.45, | Where are you going? |
| 你要去哪里 | |
| 0,0:02:48.91, | Gift shop. |
| 礼品店 | |
| 0,0:02:49.55, | There is no gift shop. Sit down. |
| 这里没有礼品店 给我坐下 | |
| 0,0:02:53.67, | This was your idea. |
| 这也是你自己的主意啊 | |
| 0,0:02:55.72, | So was having sex, and look where that got us. |
| 滚床单也是我的主意 你看看后果多严重 | |
| 0,0:02:59.50, | This isn't a big deal. Stop whining. |
| 这没什么大不了的 别唧歪了 | |
| 0,0:03:02.23, | When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me. |
| 你生娃时我也说过同样的话 结果你踹了我 | |
| 0,0:03:06.25, | Howard Wolowitz? |
| 霍沃德··沃罗威茨 | |
| 0,0:03:10.82, | - Want me to go with you? - No. |
| 要我陪你进去吗-不用 | |
| 0,0:03:12.53, | - I'll be fine. - Yeah, we got this. |
| 我没事-对啊 我俩可以的 | |
| 0,0:03:14.47, | Sit down! |
| 给我坐下 | |
| 0,0:03:20.79, | Wish me luck. |
| 祝我好运吧 | |
| 0,0:03:23.38, | Other way, buster. |
| 走错方向了 小子 | |
| 0,0:03:31.12, | Okay, you ready? |
| 你准备好了吗 | |
| 0,0:03:32.23, | Yeah, almost. |
| 差不多了 | |
| 0,0:03:33.15, | I'm working on my facial expressions. |
| 我正在练习我的面部表情 | |
| 0,0:03:35.31, | See, uh, I've got interested. |
| 看 这是我燃起兴致的表情 | |
| 0,0:03:38.44, | I've got very interested. |
| 这是兴致高昂的表情 | |
| 0,0:03:41.92, | Enraged. |
| 暴怒的表情 | |
| 0,0:03:46.20, | Why would you be enraged? |
| 你怎么会暴怒呢 | |
| 0,0:03:48.23, | Hmm. Better to have it and not need it |
| 准备要万全 平日多烧香 | |
| 0,0:03:49.74, | than to need it and not have it. |
| 好过临时抱佛脚 | |
| 0,0:03:52.39, | Okay. |
| 好吧 | |
| 0,0:03:56.00, | And... |
| 准备... | |
| 0,0:03:56.95, | rolling. |
| 开拍 | |
| 0,0:03:58.23, | Hello. I am theoretical physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, |
| 大家好 我是理论物理学家 谢尔顿·库珀博士 | |
| 0,0:04:01.30, | auditioning for the role of Professor Proton. |
| 为质子博士一角试镜 | |
| 0,0:04:03.72, | Now, excuse me while I get into character. |
| 现在 请允许我进入角色 | |
| 0,0:04:09.21, | Hello. I am Professor Proton. |
| 大家好 我是质子教授 | |
| 0,0:04:12.97, | And today, boys and girls, |
| 今天 孩子们 | |
| 0,0:04:14.49, | we're going to have fun with science. |
| 我们要一起进入有趣的科学世界 | |
| 0,0:04:16.49, | Did you know you could calculate the mass of an electron |
| 你知道可以用手边的家庭用品 | |
| 0,0:04:18.90, | using household items? It's true. |
| 计算出电子的质量吗 真的可以呢 | |
| 0,0:04:20.94, | All you'll need is a pencil, some paper, |
| 你只需要一支铅笔 一些纸 | |
| 0,0:04:23.09, | dry ice, rubbing alcohol, |
| 干冰 外用酒精 | |
| 0,0:04:25.02, | and a spool of 50-micron-thick cobalt-60 wire. |
| 和一卷50微米细的钴60线轴 | |
| 0,0:04:30.08, | And, remember, don't put it in your mouth, |
| 要记得 别把线轴放进嘴里 | |
| 0,0:04:32.30, | or instead of becoming a scientist, |
| 不然你没变成科学家 | |
| 0,0:04:33.80, | you'll become wildly radioactive. |
| 就先变成放射狂人了 | |
| 0,0:04:37.68, | Hang on. I have a question. |
| 等一下 我有个问题 | |
| 0,0:04:39.27, | Do you have any experiments that aren't life-threatening? |
| 你有其他没有致命危险的实验吗 | |
| 0,0:04:42.49, | Come on! That was a perfect take, and you ruined it. |
| 不是吧 人家拍得好好的 全被你毁了 | |
| 0,0:04:46.11, | Oh, look! Hey, I did need enraged. |
| 你看 我暴怒的表情用上了 | |
| 0,0:04:54.04, | - Really hurts, huh? - No. |
| 看来真的很痛啊-不痛 | |
| 0,0:04:55.65, | He's just saying, "Ow can these prices be so low"" |
| 他只是在说"哎哟 这价格太划算了" | |
| 0,0:05:00.71, | It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest, |
| 别担心 只需休息一两天就好 | |
| 0,0:05:02.70, | and you'll be fine. |
| 你会好起来的 | |
| 0,0:05:04.13, | You know nothing about Jewish people. |
| 那你真是不懂戏精犹太人了 | |
| 0,0:05:10.44, | Um, let me go check on her. |
| 我去看看她 | |
| 0,0:05:13.98, | Okay, uh, this is a bit awkward. |
| 好了 现在有一点小尴尬了 | |
| 0,0:05:16.20, | It says here that I need to check the area |
| 手册上写我需要检查一下手术部位的 | |
| 0,0:05:18.37, | for redness and swelling. |
| 发红和肿胀情况 | |
| 0,0:05:22.52, | You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead. |
| 我已经痛到麻木了 随你便吧 | |
| 0,0:05:27.71, | So you see, boys and girls, |
| 所以孩子们 | |
| 0,0:05:29.18, | H, or helicity, is the natural variable to use relativistically |
| H 也就是螺旋性 是使用相对论的自然变量 | |
| 0,0:05:34.33, | is defined as S dot P, divided by the magnitude of P. |
| S·P 再除以P的量 | |
| 0,0:05:38.02, | So the next time someone on the playground tells you |
| 所以下次如果操场上有人告诉你 | |
| 0,0:05:40.41, | you can only use integral values for the matrix |
| 你只能用整数值来 | |
| 0,0:05:42.65, | that determines the spin of the antiproton, |
| 决定反质子的自旋 | |
| 0,0:05:44.52, | you stop being friends with that kid, |
| 别和那孩子做朋友 | |
| 0,0:05:45.99, | cause he's going nowhere. |
| 因为他肯定成不了材 | |
| 0,0:05:51.30, | Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, |
| 我们下周再会 质子教授跟大家说 | |
| 0,0:05:54.04, | 1.00001E+22 |
| 0,0:06:03.01, | That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, |
| 是美国信息交换标准代码二进制数的"拜" | |
| 0,0:06:05.69, | or good-binary. |
| 二个拜 拜拜 | |
| 0,0:06:15.55, | So, what do you think? |
| 你们觉得如何呢 | |
| 0,0:06:19.35, | Well, I already told him that I loved it, |
| 我已经跟他说我觉得超赞了 | |
| 0,0:06:21.37, | but if you found it confusing or dangerous or-- |
| 但如果你们有人觉得说得太绕 太危险... | |
| 0,0:06:25.42, | I don't know-- three to four times too long, |
| 或我随便举例 比如超长了几倍时间 | |
| 0,0:06:29.28, | now is the time to share. |
| 现在就可以提出你们的意见 | |
| 0,0:06:32.76, | I... I don't know what to say. |
| 我不知道说什么 | |
| 0,0:06:35.21, | Leonard, do you know what to say? |
| 莱纳德 你有什么想说的吗 | |
| 0,0:06:37.96, | Sheldon, uh, I thought it, uh... |
| 谢尔顿 我觉得呢... | |
| 0,0:06:40.04, | It-it looked like you were having so much fun. |
| 感觉视频中的你 玩得很开心 | |
| 0,0:06:45.43, | That's what you used to tell me to say to Penny |
| 你以前也教过我用这话应付佩妮 | |
| 0,0:06:47.10, | after one of her terrible plays. |
| 就在看完她难看的表演后教的 | |
| 0,0:06:52.39, | Well, what was wrong with it? |
| 所以问题出在哪呢 | |
| 0,0:06:53.91, | You know, did you find it... |
| 你们会觉得... | |
| 0,0:06:55.64, | borderline psychotic? |
| 快接近神经病了吗 | |
| 0,0:06:59.20, | I mean, |
| 我个人觉得呢 | |
| 0,0:06:59.66, | I liked that about it, but... |
| 我挺喜欢这一点 但... | |
| 0,0:07:02.09, | you guys discuss. |
| 请畅所欲言 | |
| 0,0:07:04.63, | Do you remember when you were a kid |
| 你还记得你小时候 | |
| 0,0:07:06.75, | and you'd watch Professor Proton? |
| 看质子教授的节目吗 | |
| 0,0:07:08.80, | Of course. |
| 当然啊 | |
| 0,0:07:09.65, | Well, did he ever make you-- I don't know-- |
| 那他有过让你觉得... 比方说... | |
| 0,0:07:13.36, | hate science and the people who do it? |
| 痛恨科学与搞科学的人吗 | |
| 0,0:07:16.52, | What are you saying? |
| 你什么意思 | |
| 0,0:07:17.69, | I-I just think it would be... better |
| 我觉得你要想改进 | |
| 0,0:07:20.38, | if your contempt for children |
| 那你对儿童的不屑 | |
| 0,0:07:22.20, | wasn't so much in the foreground. |
| 就不能够这么堂而皇之 | |
| 0,0:07:24.74, | Well, you want me to lie? |
| 你是要我说谎吗 | |
| 0,0:07:27.32, | Well, it's not lying-- it's acting. |
| 这不是说谎 是演戏啊 | |
| 0,0:07:29.43, | Sheldon Cooper may not like kids, |
| 虽然谢尔顿·库珀不爱小孩子 | |
| 0,0:07:31.15, | but Professor Proton loves them. |
| 但质子教授很喜欢孩子啊 | |
| 0,0:07:33.86, | Interesting. |
| 有意思 | |
| 0,0:07:36.28, | You know, I hadn't really thought of it that way. |
| 我还没用这角度想过呢 | |
| 0,0:07:38.27, | It-It's similar to how I'm afraid of dogs, |
| 这就像是我本人很怕狗 | |
| 0,0:07:41.98, | but my D&D character likes dogs, you know? |
| 但我桌游里的角色很喜欢狗一样 | |
| 0,0:07:45.70, | But he's allergic, so he can't be around them. |
| 但他对狗过敏 所以不能接近狗狗 | |
| 0,0:07:49.06, | Why don't we have a dog? |
| 我们为什么还不养狗 | |
| 0,0:07:53.99, | Hey, you can always reshoot it. |
| 你可以重拍一个啊 | |
| 0,0:07:56.01, | Mm, I suppose. |
| 也是啦 | |
| 0,0:07:57.01, | And, you know, maybe I could even get some tips |
| 或许这次我还能去请教 | |
| 0,0:07:58.91, | from someone who's acted professionally. |
| 有过专业演员经历的人 | |
| 0,0:08:01.54, | Sheldon, obviously, I'd be happy to help you out. |
| 谢尔顿 我当然很乐意帮助你啦 | |
| 0,0:08:06.41, | I don't know what to say. |
| 我无言以对 | |
| 0,0:08:11.26, | Hey, Sheldon. What's up? |
| 谢尔顿 怎么了 | |
| 0,0:08:12.72, | I need an acting coach. |
| 我需要一个演戏教练 | |
| 0,0:08:15.23, | Would you give me Patrick Stewart's number? |
| 你能给我帕特里克·斯图尔特的电话吗 | |
| 0,0:08:15.23, | 知名杰出英国演员 也曾出演过《星际旅行: 初代》 |
| 0,0:08:18.78, | No. |
| 不能 | |
| 0,0:08:19.72, | Fine. I guess you can do it. |
| 好吧 你来教也行 | |
| 0,0:08:26.56, | Bernie? |
| 妮妮 | |
| 0,0:08:30.19, | Where did you get a bell? |
| 你从哪弄来的铃 | |
| 0,0:08:31.83, | App store. |
| 应用商店 | |
| 0,0:08:36.55, | Fun. Let me see. |
| 真好玩 让我看看 | |
| 0,0:08:39.80, | When you catch me, you can have it back. |
| 等你能抓到我了再还你手机 | |
| 0,0:08:43.54, | You want to lie down, watch a movie? |
| 你想躺下一起看个电影吗 | |
| 0,0:08:46.22, | I can't. I got my 16-week checkup to get to, |
| 不行 我得去做第16周的产检 | |
| 0,0:08:48.80, | and then I'll pick up some Chinese for dinner. |
| 完事后我会买中餐外卖回来当晚饭 | |
| 0,0:08:50.66, | I'll take Halley with me. |
| 我会把哈雷带上 | |
| 0,0:08:52.32, | You-you sure you're not overdoing it? |
| 你确定你这样不会太累吗 | |
| 0,0:08:54.15, | - No, it's fine. - Great. |
| -没事 不会的 -那太好了 | |
| 0,0:08:55.39, | Then maybe, instead of Chinese, |
| 那不如别买中餐 | |
| 0,0:08:56.48, | fire up the grill and throw on a couple of steaks? |
| 去把烤架热了 弄几块牛排如何 | |
| 0,0:09:01.08, | Kung pao chicken, please. |
| 宫保鸡丁 谢谢老婆大人 | |
| 0,0:09:06.46, | - Oh, boy. - What? |
| 惨了-怎么了 | |
| 0,0:09:07.94, | They cast the new Professor Proton. |
| 他们选出新的质子教授演员了 | |
| 0,0:09:10.24, | Is it Sheldon? |
| 是谢尔顿吗 | |
| 0,0:09:11.01, | Not exactly. |
| 不是 | |
| 0,0:09:12.20, | Wheaton! |
| 惠顿 | |
| 0,0:09:14.22, | It's Wil Wheaton. |
| 是威尔·惠顿 | |
| 0,0:09:26.78, | How was the doctor? |
| 医生怎么说 | |
| 0,0:09:27.98, | Good, but I have some news. |
| 一切良好 但我有个事情要说 | |
| 0,0:09:30.34, | Don't say twins. Don't say twins. Don't say twins. |
| 别说是双胞胎 别是双胞胎 | |
| 0,0:09:32.11, | Don't say twins. |
| 别说是双胞胎啊 | |
| 0,0:09:33.79, | It's not twins. |
| 不是双胞胎 | |
| 0,0:09:34.91, | Oh. I mean, because I would have loved them both. |
| 我是说 我一定会超爱他们啦 | |
| 0,0:09:39.20, | The doctor said I was overdoing it, |
| 医生说我操劳过度 | |
| 0,0:09:40.79, | so she put me on bed rest just to be safe. |
| 让我在床上歇着保胎 | |
| 0,0:09:43.30, | Oh, no. |
| 太心疼了 | |
| 0,0:09:54.79, | It may not look like it, but I'm running to you! |
| 虽然看起来不像 但我正在朝你飞奔而去 | |
| 0,0:10:09.86, | Hello, Arthur. |
| 亚瑟 你好啊 | |
| 0,0:10:12.20, | What-what part of "Rest in peace" |
| 安息这两个字 | |
| 0,0:10:15.59, | don't you understand? |
| 你是有哪个字不懂 | |
| 0,0:10:19.88, | I suppose you're here because you heard the news? |
| 我猜你会来是因为你听到消息了吧 | |
| 0,0:10:22.48, | Sheldon, I'm a figment of your imagination. |
| 谢尔顿 我是从你的想象中虚构出来的 | |
| 0,0:10:24.87, | I don't hear news. |
| 不是老子听到什么消息 | |
| 0,0:10:29.23, | You're a grumpy figment. |
| 真是个暴躁的虚构体 | |
| 0,0:10:33.53, | Look, they're remaking your show, |
| 是这样的 他们要重启你的节目 | |
| 0,0:10:35.83, | and they cast Wil Wheaton as Professor Proton. |
| 他们选了威尔·惠顿来当质子教授 | |
| 0,0:10:39.27, | And the worst part is, he's not even a scientist. |
| 而最糟的地方就是 他都不是科学家 | |
| 0,0:10:42.64, | No, the-the worst part is, |
| 不 最糟的地方是 | |
| 0,0:10:44.43, | I'm sitting on a moist log. |
| 我坐在湿哒哒的木头上 | |
| 0,0:10:51.34, | We have to stop this and protect your legacy. |
| 我们得阻止这一切 保护你名声 | |
| 0,0:10:54.31, | What legacy? |
| 有个毛名声啊 | |
| 0,0:10:55.74, | My-my last two seasons, |
| 我节目最后两季 | |
| 0,0:10:57.33, | I was on Sunday morningn at 5:30. |
| 档期是在周日早上五点半播出 | |
| 0,0:11:00.78, | We-we were beat by Davey and Goliath. |
| 收视率还被陶土儿童节目给打败 | |
| 0,0:11:05.70, | I can't believe you don't care. |
| 我真不敢相信你都不在乎 | |
| 0,0:11:08.20, | Believe it. |
| 相信吧 | |
| 0,0:11:11.80, | Well, I care, a lot, |
| 但我在乎 非常在乎 | |
| 0,0:11:13.96, | and Wil Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me. |
| 威尔·惠顿绝对会后悔认识我 | |
| 0,0:11:18.99, | I think that's true of most people. |
| 我觉得大多数人都这么觉得 | |
| 0,0:11:27.33, | Hi, guys. |
| 你们好啊 | |
| 0,0:11:28.44, | Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing. |
| 就想过来看看你们俩怎么样了 | |
| 0,0:11:30.44, | We're okay. |
| 我们挺好 | |
| 0,0:11:31.32, | Yeah, hanging out in bed with my wife, |
| 对啊 跟我老婆赖在床上 | |
| 0,0:11:33.10, | thawing out some frozen peas in my pants-- |
| 用裤裆内的体温给冻豆子化冻 | |
| 0,0:11:35.35, | living the dream. |
| 宛如梦中啊 | |
| 0,0:11:39.14, | Oh, I'll get her. |
| 我去哄她吧 | |
| 0,0:11:40.41, | I thought Raj was helping you out. |
| 我以为拉杰会来帮手呢 | |
| 0,0:11:42.30, | No, he had to work. |
| 没来 他得上班 | |
| 0,0:11:43.64, | Plus, he has a quota for the amount of |
| 再说了 关于印度仆人的玩笑 | |
| 0,0:11:45.69, | Indian servant jokes he can tolerate, |
| 他的容忍是有限的 | |
| 0,0:11:47.56, | and, apparently, I filled it. |
| 而我貌似已经把额度用完了 | |
| 0,0:11:49.66, | Well, you're... I can get the baby. |
| 你歇着吧 我可以去哄她 | |
| 0,0:11:51.54, | No, Howie's got it. He's fine. |
| 不用了 华仔可以的 他能行 | |
| 0,0:11:53.29, | Right, Howie? |
| 对吧 华仔 | |
| 0,0:11:54.23, | Never better. |
| 比什么时候都行 | |
| 0,0:11:56.11, | Don't be silly. |
| 别傻了 | |
| 0,0:11:57.37, | I'll take the rest of the day off and watch Halley for you. |
| 我可以请假帮你们照看哈雷 | |
| 0,0:12:00.20, | Or we can call Stuart. |
| 或者我们可以打给斯图尔特 | |
| 0,0:12:01.81, | I'm sure he could close up the store, |
| 我敢说他肯定会马上关店 | |
| 0,0:12:03.19, | hop on a bus, and be here in no time. |
| 跳上公交车 飞奔来这里 | |
| 0,0:12:05.47, | He does love the bus. |
| 他的确很爱公交车 | |
| 0,0:12:08.70, | Okay, hang on. |
| 等下 | |
| 0,0:12:09.60, | Do you guys not trust me to take care of your baby? |
| 你俩是不相信我可以照看好你们的娃吗 | |
| 0,0:12:14.80, | No.-No. |
| 不是-真不是 | |
| 0,0:12:16.34, | So I-I guess... |
| 我觉得还是... | |
| 0,0:12:18.44, | no. |
| 不行 | |
| 0,0:12:22.32, | It's not that we don't trust you-- it's just... |
| 不是我们不信任你 只是... | |
| 0,0:12:24.23, | you don't seem like much of a baby person. |
| 你看起来不太像是喜欢小娃娃的人 | |
| 0,0:12:27.63, | I can watch your stupid baby, okay? |
| 我能照看好你们的傻逼娃娃 好吗 | |
| 0,0:12:31.83, | If she cries, I will pick her up. |
| 如果她哭了 我会抱她起来 | |
| 0,0:12:33.90, | If she's hungry, I'll give her a bottle. |
| 如果她饿了 我会给她热奶 | |
| 0,0:12:35.91, | And if she poops, I'll light some incense. |
| 如果她拉粑粑了 我会点上熏香 | |
| 0,0:12:39.83, | It would be a big help. |
| 那可真是帮了大忙了 | |
| 0,0:12:41.42, | Okay. Thank you. |
| 好吧 谢谢你 | |
| 0,0:12:42.75, | Trust me, you guys have nothing to worry about. |
| 相信我 你们俩绝对可以放一百个心 | |
| 0,0:12:45.14, | You know, back in Nebraska, |
| 当年在我们老家 | |
| 0,0:12:46.36, | I raised all our baby pigs |
| 我们家的小猪仔 | |
| 0,0:12:47.65, | right until the day they were slaughtered. |
| 都是我一手养大到可以送去宰了 | |
| 0,0:12:49.48, | So, unless your baby's made of breakfast meat, |
| 所以除非你们娃是早餐肉做的 | |
| 0,0:12:52.56, | she's fine. |
| 否则她好着呢 | |
| 0,0:12:56.73, | Would you ever get a vasectomy? |
| 你有天会去做结扎手术吗 | |
| 0,0:12:58.42, | Uh, in case you haven't noticed, |
| 或许你没有注意到 | |
| 0,0:13:00.19, | Indians aren't too big on birth control. |
| 印度人不是很喜欢计划生育 | |
| 0,0:13:03.52, | There's probably, like, a million more of us |
| 很可能从我们开始这话题到现在 | |
| 0,0:13:04.88, | since we started this conversation. |
| 印度又多了一百万人口 | |
| 0,0:13:10.26, | You okay? |
| 你还好吧 | |
| 0,0:13:11.20, | No. |
| 不好 | |
| 0,0:13:12.11, | No, all these comments online about Wil, |
| 网上所有关于威尔的评论 | |
| 0,0:13:14.61, | they're nothing but supportive and kind. |
| 一水儿全是支持和好话 | |
| 0,0:13:17.81, | Where's the mean, snarky Internet |
| 那个毒舌刻薄的互联网哪去了 | |
| 0,0:13:19.29, | that shows up every time I get a haircut? |
| 怎么每次我剪完头发它就出现呢 | |
| 0,0:13:23.14, | You know that's us, right? |
| 你知道毒舌刻薄的是我们 对吧 | |
| 0,0:13:28.36, | Well, luckily, I got the number of the company |
| 幸运的是 我搞到了那家 | |
| 0,0:13:30.65, | who's trying to reboot the show, |
| 试图重启这节目公司的电话 | |
| 0,0:13:32.00, | so I need you all to call and register your displeasure. |
| 所以我需要你们都打去表达你们的不满 | |
| 0,0:13:34.78, | Sheldon, no one's gonna do that. |
| 谢尔顿 没人会这么做 | |
| 0,0:13:36.13, | Not true. |
| 有哦 | |
| 0,0:13:36.87, | I know of three calls they've received already: |
| 我知道已经有三个人打去表达不满了 | |
| 0,0:13:38.97, | a-a Southern gentleman, |
| 一位是南方绅士 | |
| 0,0:13:40.52, | um, a Cockney chimney sweep, |
| 一位是伦敦烟囱清扫工 | |
| 0,0:13:43.44, | and, uh, |
| 还有一位是 | |
| 0,0:13:44.25, | Mr. T, hmm? |
| T先生 | |
| 0,0:13:46.52, | Who-- spoiler alert-- |
| 这位先生 剧透一下 | |
| 0,0:13:47.99, | pities the fool who tries to reboot that show. |
| 可怜那位试图重启这节目的傻瓜 | |
| 0,0:13:51.35, | What about tiresome lunatic with a bad haircut? |
| 那个发型糟糕的无聊疯子呢 | |
| 0,0:13:53.49, | Has he called yet? |
| 他怎么没打去 | |
| 0,0:13:55.70, | Come on. |
| 拜托 | |
| 0,0:13:56.52, | How many times have we banded together |
| 多少次我们团结起来 | |
| 0,0:13:58.27, | to try to save a show that we loved? |
| 一起去拯救我们热爱的节目 | |
| 0,0:13:59.94, | L-Let's shake things up and try to kill one. |
| 这次我们改变套路 把这节目扼杀在摇篮中 | |
| 0,0:14:03.65, | Isn't the important thing that there's a show |
| 有个能让孩子喜欢科学的节目 | |
| 0,0:14:05.51, | to get kids excited about science? |
| 难道不重要吗 | |
| 0,0:14:07.68, | Who cares about kids and what they like? |
| 谁在乎小孩和他们喜欢什么啊 | |
| 0,0:14:10.34, | This is about me |
| 这事关我 | |
| 0,0:14:11.42, | and something I liked when-when I was a kid. |
| 和我还是个孩子时喜欢的节目 | |
| 0,0:14:16.06, | What if the reboot is great? |
| 万一节目重启很成功呢 | |
| 0,0:14:17.97, | That's even worse. |
| 那就更糟了 | |
| 0,0:14:19.21, | If-if I like it, |
| 如果我喜欢它 | |
| 0,0:14:20.20, | I'll feel like I'm being disloyal to Arthur. |
| 感觉就像背叛了亚瑟 | |
| 0,0:14:22.37, | He was a mentor and a friend, |
| 他是我的导师和朋友 | |
| 0,0:14:24.52, | and I won't toss him aside for some Hollywood pretty boy |
| 我不会为了好莱坞某个帅哥 比如威尔·惠顿 | |
| 0,0:14:27.25, | like Wil Wheaton. |
| 而抛弃他 | |
| 0,0:14:29.98, | It's hard to argue with him. |
| 他的话很难反驳啊 | |
| 0,0:14:31.20, | Because he makes no sense? Yeah. |
| 因为他根本不讲理吗 的确是 | |
| 0,0:14:36.02, | This is actually kind of nice, |
| 这感觉其实挺好的 | |
| 0,0:14:37.67, | you and me getting to spend a couple days in bed together. |
| 你我有机会一起在床上赖几天 | |
| 0,0:14:40.93, | Yeah. Pretty soon, we're gonna have |
| 是啊 很快我们家 | |
| 0,0:14:42.26, | two crying babies in the house. |
| 就会有两个哇哇叫的宝宝了 | |
| 0,0:14:44.96, | I'm glad my balls hurt. It's all their fault. |
| 我很高兴我蛋疼 因为全是它们的错 | |
| 0,0:14:50.38, | Well, let's just enjoy this quiet time |
| 让我们一起享受这宁静的时光 | |
| 0,0:14:52.17, | while we still got it. |
| 趁现在还有机会 | |
| 0,0:14:53.42, | Yeah. |
| 是啊 | |
| 0,0:14:56.57, | Yeah, it is really quiet. |
| 但这也太安静了吧 | |
| 0,0:14:59.34, | You think Penny's doing okay? |
| 你觉得佩妮能应付得来吗 | |
| 0,0:15:01.89, | Penny, everything all right?! |
| 佩妮 一切还好吗 | |
| 0,0:15:07.08, | Hey. All good. |
| 一切都好 | |
| 0,0:15:07.81, | Dipped her pacifier in a little bourbon, she conked right out. |
| 往她奶嘴上沾了点酒 她立马昏睡过去了 | |
| 0,0:15:13.56, | I hope you're joking. |
| 希望你是在开玩笑 | |
| 0,0:15:14.87, | Of course I'm joking. I don't share my bourbon. |
| 当然是开玩笑啊 我才不会分享我的酒呢 | |
| 0,0:15:20.10, | She's joking. |
| 她在开玩笑 | |
| 0,0:15:22.28, | Definitely. |
| 肯定是 | |
| 0,0:15:24.48, | Probably. |
| 应该吧 | |
| 0,0:15:29.56, | Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. |
| 威尔·惠顿 威尔·惠顿 | |
| 0,0:15:32.69, | This is Sheldon, by the way. |
| 对了 我是谢尔顿 | |
| 0,0:15:37.22, | Hi, Sheldon. |
| 谢尔顿 | |
| 0,0:15:38.44, | Here, I found this pizza flyer in your fence. |
| 给 我在你的栅栏发现这张披萨传单 | |
| 0,0:15:41.92, | Thank you. |
| 谢谢 | |
| 0,0:15:42.87, | Okay, now you owe me a favor. |
| 现在你欠我个人情 | |
| 0,0:15:46.12, | Turn down the role of Professor Proton. |
| 你去拒演质子教授 | |
| 0,0:15:48.90, | I don't think so. |
| 我不同意 | |
| 0,0:15:50.38, | You can't be Professor Proton. You're not a scientist. |
| 你不能当质子教授 你又不是科学家 | |
| 0,0:15:53.53, | Well, I was never on a starship, |
| 我也从没上过太空星舰 | |
| 0,0:15:54.97, | but pretending I was bought me this house. |
| 但假装自己上过让我买下了这栋房子 | |
| 0,0:15:57.62, | And if I'd pretended a little longer, |
| 要是我假装的时间更久 | |
| 0,0:15:59.26, | it would have a swimming pool. |
| 还能买下带泳池的房子呢 | |
| 0,0:16:02.09, | Some things shouldn't be rebooted. |
| 有些东西就不该被重启 | |
| 0,0:16:03.94, | Some things were perfect the way they were. |
| 有些东西本来就很完美了 | |
| 0,0:16:05.80, | Like the walled city of York-- it was a delight. |
| 比如有城墙的约克 非常美好 | |
| 0,0:16:08.80, | But New York? Blech. |
| 但新约克[纽约] 算了吧 | |
| 0,0:16:11.55, | Did you ever consider that maybe Arthur would be happy to know |
| 你有没想过 如果亚瑟得知他的节目比他还长寿 | |
| 0,0:16:14.68, | that his show has outlived him? |
| 会很高兴呢 | |
| 0,0:16:16.62, | I doubt it. |
| 我深表怀疑 | |
| 0,0:16:17.42, | He was kind of a mean old crank. |
| 他是个刻薄暴躁的臭老头 | |
| 0,0:16:20.75, | Sheldon, I promise that I will work my hardest to make this show great |
| 谢尔顿 我保证我会努力把节目做好 | |
| 0,0:16:25.48, | so that a whole new generation of kids |
| 好让新一代的孩子们 | |
| 0,0:16:27.01, | will grow up and they will be able to say |
| 长大后会说 | |
| 0,0:16:28.97, | that Professor Proton was the reason they got into science. |
| 是质子教授让他们投身科学领域 | |
| 0,0:16:35.39, | That was very persuasive. |
| 这番话很有说服力 | |
| 0,0:16:37.67, | Thanks. |
| 谢谢 | |
| 0,0:16:38.81, | But I won't be seduced by your acting skills |
| 但我不会被你的演技 | |
| 0,0:16:40.85, | nor your movie star charisma. |
| 或电影明星魅力所诱惑 | |
| 0,0:16:45.07, | There's only one Professor Proton, |
| 质子教授只有一个 | |
| 0,0:16:46.62, | and he had neither of those things. |
| 而他绝没有上述两种特质 | |
| 0,0:16:49.39, | I'll give you one more chance to bow out. |
| 我再给你一次机会退出 | |
| 0,0:16:52.65, | Or what? |
| 不然怎样 | |
| 0,0:16:55.79, | When we first met, we were enemies, |
| 我们初次见面时 你我是敌人 | |
| 0,0:16:57.94, | but we worked through that and we became friends. |
| 但我们解决了矛盾 成为了朋友 | |
| 0,0:17:01.43, | Do you really want to go back? |
| 你真想回到当初吗 | |
| 0,0:17:03.61, | Honestly, it doesn't feel very different. |
| 老实说 感觉没什么不同 | |
| 0,0:17:10.17, | I'm not leaving! |
| 我不会走的 | |
| 0,0:17:11.62, | All right, I'm gonna sic my dog on you. |
| 好吧 那我就放狗出来咬你 | |
| 0,0:17:15.03, | You don't have a dog. |
| 你又没有养狗 | |
| 0,0:17:16.73, | Yes, I do. |
| 有的 | |
| 0,0:17:19.08, | Ugh, I can't tell if you're lying-- |
| 我分辨不出你是否在说谎 | |
| 0,0:17:20.33, | you're such a good actor! |
| 你演技太高超了 | |
| 0,0:17:26.32, | Hey, how you doing? |
| 你好吗 | |
| 0,0:17:27.77, | What are you doing here? |
| 你怎么来了 | |
| 0,0:17:29.58, | Oh, I just came by, you know, |
| 我就顺路过来看看 | |
| 0,0:17:31.84, | to see if you need any help. |
| 看你是否需要帮忙 | |
| 0,0:17:34.43, | Howard and Bernadette asked you to check up on me. |
| 霍华德和伯纳黛特派你来监督我 | |
| 0,0:17:36.33, | That is not entirely true. |
| 这话不全对 | |
| 0,0:17:38.62, | So did Leonard and... everybody. |
| 还有莱纳德和 所有人 | |
| 0,0:17:42.31, | How irresponsible do you all think I am? |
| 你们是觉得我有多不负责任啊 | |
| 0,0:17:44.67, | We don't think you're irresponsible. |
| 我们不觉得你不负责任啊 | |
| 0,0:17:46.87, | We think you're... |
| 我们只是觉得你... | |
| 0,0:17:48.87, | fun-loving. |
| 喜爱玩耍 | |
| 0,0:17:51.27, | That is just a nice word for "Irresponsible." |
| 这只是"不负责任"好听一点的说法 | |
| 0,0:17:54.62, | You might be more on the ball than we thought. |
| 看来你比我们想的要机智 | |
| 0,0:18:00.35, | I'm getting a little hungry. |
| 我有点饿了 | |
| 0,0:18:01.96, | Want me to get it this time? |
| 这次我来吧 | |
| 0,0:18:03.32, | That'd be great. |
| 那再好不过了 | |
| 0,0:18:08.92, | This is fun. |
| 真好玩 | |
| 0,0:18:10.21, | And now you also get to see an annoyed blonde walk into the room. |
| 你也能看到一个气鼓鼓的金发妞走进来 | |
| 0,0:18:15.31, | What? |
| 干嘛 | |
| 0,0:18:17.79, | Can you get us a little snack? |
| 能给我们拿点零食吗 | |
| 0,0:18:19.25, | You sure you don't want your spy to do it? |
| 不叫你们的间谍去拿吗 | |
| 0,0:18:22.03, | What are you talking about? |
| 你在说什么呢 | |
| 0,0:18:23.14, | You really don't trust me? You had to have Amy stop by? |
| 你们真的很不信任我 还让艾米过来看看 | |
| 0,0:18:26.03, | - We trust you. - Yeah. |
| 我们信任你-是啊 | |
| 0,0:18:27.86, | You were a terrible waitress, |
| 你是个糟糕的服务员 | |
| 0,0:18:29.28, | and we still asked you to get us a snack. |
| 我们还是叫你给我们拿零食了啊 | |
| 0,0:18:35.16, | Excuse me while I go take care of your baby. |
| 失陪一下 我要去照顾你们的宝宝 | |
| 0,0:18:37.22, | Then I'll bring you your snack, |
| 然后我会拿零食给你们 | |
| 0,0:18:38.33, | and you can insult me some more. |
| 到时你们就可以继续羞辱我了 | |
| 0,0:18:42.00, | I don't know about you, |
| 不知道你怎么想 | |
| 0,0:18:42.87, | but I am not eating whatever she brings us. |
| 但我绝对不会吃她送来的食物 | |
| 0,0:18:47.87, | Hey, Halley. Aw, it's okay. |
| 哈雷 没事的 | |
| 0,0:18:49.55, | Auntie Penny's here. Shh. Let's get you changed. |
| 佩妮阿姨来了 我帮你换尿布 | |
| 0,0:18:53.42, | Your mommy and daddy say they trust me, |
| 你爸妈说他们相信我 | |
| 0,0:18:55.14, | but they're full of the same stuff your diaper is. |
| 但他们满嘴都是你尿布里现在包着的东西 | |
| 0,0:18:59.89, | Now I feel bad. |
| 这下我内疚了 | |
| 0,0:19:01.40, | Well, she never really liked me. |
| 反正她从没喜欢过我 | |
| 0,0:19:03.43, | It's kind of nice she hates you now, too. |
| 现在她也讨厌你 感觉还不赖 | |
| 0,0:19:06.30, | Aw, but I'm here for you, |
| 但你有我呢 | |
| 0,0:19:07.84, | and I would never let anything happen to you, |
| 我不会让你受到任何伤害 | |
| 0,0:19:09.70, | because your Auntie Penny loves you so much. |
| 因为佩妮阿姨真的好爱好爱你 | |
| 0,0:19:13.11, | Mama. |
| 妈妈 | |
| 0,0:19:22.07, | Was that her first word? |
| 那是她第一个词吗 | |
| 0,0:19:23.32, | Mama. |
| 妈妈 | |
| 0,0:19:26.52, | Uh, no. No, baby. I'm not your mama. |
| 不不 宝宝 我不是你妈妈 | |
| 0,0:19:29.14, | Your mama's the nice lady we're gonna go see right now |
| 你妈妈是我们现在要去见的那位善良女士 | |
| 0,0:19:31.70, | so I can rub this in her face. |
| 这样我就能在她面前嘚瑟啦 | |
| 0,0:19:35.49, | Do you hear that, suckers? |
| 听见了吗 你俩贱人 | |
| 0,0:19:36.76, | She called me Mama! |
| 她叫我妈妈 | |
| 0,0:19:53.41, | Hello, Arthur. |
| 你好 亚瑟 | |
| 0,0:19:55.39, | You-you know, |
| 你知道 | |
| 0,0:19:57.97, | we could... we could also meet in-in a deli. |
| 我们 我们也可以在熟食店见面的 | |
| 0,0:20:05.12, | I'm sorry to say that I failed you. |
| 很抱歉告诉你 我辜负了你 | |
| 0,0:20:07.39, | I tried to stop Wil Wheaton being Professor Proton, |
| 我试过阻止威尔·惠顿出演质子教授 | |
| 0,0:20:10.08, | but I couldn't. |
| 但我没能做到 | |
| 0,0:20:12.16, | See, now, that's-that's the kind of thing |
| 知道吗 这种事情 | |
| 0,0:20:14.99, | you could tell a fella over a... |
| 很适合边吃熏牛肉三明治 | |
| 0,0:20:19.14, | pastrami sandwich. |
| 边告诉对方的 | |
| 0,0:20:25.59, | Well, don't worry. |
| 别担心 | |
| 0,0:20:27.11, | He's now on my enemies list forever. |
| 现在他会永远在我的仇家名单里 | |
| 0,0:20:29.66, | He's totally cut off. |
| 我跟他永世绝交 | |
| 0,0:20:31.78, | Interesting. |
| 有意思 | |
| 0,0:20:33.14, | Can-can anyone sign-sign up for that list? |
| 其他人能去哪登记上那份名单呢 |
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