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双语·返老还童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小说选 疯狂的礼拜天 三

所属教程:译林版·返老还童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小说选

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2022年07月19日

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CRAZY SUNDAY III

Crazy Sunday again. Joel slept until eleven, then he read a newspaper to catch up with the past week. He lunched in his room on trout, avocado salad and a pint of California wine. Dressing for the tea, he selected a pin-check suit, a blue shirt, a burnt orange tie. There were dark circles of fatigue under his eyes. In his second-hand car he drove to the Riviera apartments. As he was introducing himself to Stella's sister, Miles and Stella arrived in riding clothes—they had been quarreling fiercely most of the afternoon on all the dirt roads back of Beverly Hills.

Miles Calman, tall, nervous, with a desperate humor and the unhappiest eyes Joel ever saw, was an artist from the top of his curiously shaped head to his niggerish feet. Upon these last he stood firmly—he had never made a cheap picture though he had sometimes paid heavily for the luxury of making experimental flops. In spite of his excellent company, one could not be with him long without realizing that he was not a well man.

From the moment of their entrance Joel's day bound itself up inextricably with theirs. As he joined the group around them Stella turned away from it with an impatient little tongue click—and Miles Calman said to the man who happened to be next to him:

“Go easy on Eva Goebel. There's hell to pay about her at home.” Miles turned to Joel, “I'm sorry I missed you at the office yesterday. I spent the afternoon at the analyst's.”

“You being psychoanalyzed?”

“I have been for months. First I went for claustrophobia, now I'm trying to get my whole life cleared up. They say it'll take over a year.”

“There's nothing the matter with your life,” Joel assured him.

“Oh, no? Well, Stella seems to think so. Ask anybody—they can all tell you about it,” he said bitterly.

A girl perched herself on the arm of Miles' chair; Joel crossed to Stella, who stood disconsolately by the fire.

“Thank you for your telegram,” he said. “It was darn sweet. I can't imagine anybody as good-looking as you are being so good-humored.”

She was a little lovelier than he had ever seen her and perhaps the unstinted admiration in his eyes prompted her to unload on him—it did not take long, for she was obviously at the emotional bursting point.

“—and Miles has been carrying on this thing for two years, and I never knew. Why, she was one of my best friends, always in the house. Finally when people began to come to me, Miles had to admit it.”

She sat down vehemently on the arm of Joel's chair. Her riding breeches were the color of the chair and Joel saw that the mass of her hair was made up of some strands of red gold and some of pale gold, so that it could not be dyed, and that she had on no make-up. She was that good-looking—

Still quivering with the shock of her discovery, Stella found unbearable the spectacle of a new girl hovering over Miles; she led Joel into a bedroom, and seated at either end of a big bed they went on talking. People on their way to the washroom glanced in and made wisecracks, but Stella, emptying out her story, paid no attention. After a while Miles stuck his head in the door and said, “There's no use trying to explain something to Joel in half an hour that I don't understand myself and the psychoanalyst says will take a whole year to understand.”

She talked on as if Miles were not there. She loved Miles, she said—under considerable difficulties she had always been faithful to him.

“The psychoanalyst told Miles that he had a mother complex. In his first marriage he transferred his mother complex to his wife, you see—and then his sex turned to me. But when we married the thing repeated itself—he transferred his mother complex to me and all his libido turned toward this other woman.”

Joel knew that this probably wasn't gibberish—yet it sounded like gibberish. He knew Eva Goebel; she was a motherly person, older and probably wiser than Stella, who was a golden child.

Miles now suggested impatiently that Joel come back with them since Stella had so much to say, so they drove out to the mansion in Beverly Hills. Under the high ceilings the situation seemed more dignified and tragic. It was an eerie bright night with the dark very clear outside of all the windows and Stella all rose-gold raging and crying around the room. Joel did not quite believe in picture actresses' grief. They have other preoccupations—they are beautiful rose-gold figures blown full of life by writers and directors, and after hours they sit around and talk in whispers and giggle innuendoes, and the ends of many adventures flow through them.

Sometimes he pretended to listen and instead thought how well she was got up—sleek breeches with a matched set of legs in them, an Italian-colored sweater with a little high neck, and a short brown chamois coat. He couldn't decide whether she was an imitation of an English lady or an English lady was an imitation of her. She hovered somewhere between the realest of realities and the most blatant of impersonations.

“Miles is so jealous of me that he questions everything I do,” she cried scornfully. “When I was in New York I wrote him that I'd been to the theater with Eddie Baker. Miles was so jealous he phoned me ten times in one day.”

“I was wild,” Miles snuffled sharply, a habit he had in times of stress. “The analyst couldn't get any results for a week.”

Stella shook her head despairingly. “Did you expect me just to sit in the hotel for three weeks?”

“I don't expect anything. I admit that I'm jealous. I try not to be. I worked on that with Dr. Bridgebane, but it didn't do any good. I was jealous of Joel this afternoon when you sat on the arm of his chair.”

“You were?” She started up. “You were! Wasn't there somebody on the arm of your chair? And did you speak to me for two hours?”

“You were telling your troubles to Joel in the bedroom.”

“When I think that that woman”—she seemed to believe that to omit Eva Goebel's name would be to lessen her reality—“used to come here—”

“All right—all right,” said Miles wearily. “I've admitted everything and I feel as bad about it as you do.” Turning to Joel he began talking about pictures, while Stella moved restlessly along the far walls, her hands in her breeches pockets.

“They've treated Miles terribly,” she said, coming suddenly back into the conversation as if they'd never discussed her personal affairs. “Dear, tell him about old Beltzer trying to change your picture.”

As she stood hovering protectively over Miles, her eyes flashing with indignation in his behalf, Joel realized that he was in love with her. Stifled with excitement he got up to say good night.

With Monday the week resumed its workaday rhythm, in sharp contrast to the theoretical discussions, the gossip and scandal of Sunday; there was the endless detail of script revision—“Instead of a lousy dissolve, we can leave her voice on the sound track and cut to a medium shot of the taxi from Bell's angle or we can simply pull the camera back to include the station, hold it a minute and then pan to the row of taxis”—by Monday afternoon Joel had again forgotten that people whose business was to provide entertainment were ever privileged to be entertained. In the evening he phoned Miles' house. He asked for Miles but Stella came to the phone.

“Do things seem better?”

“Not particularly. What are you doing next Saturday evening?”

“Nothing.”

“The Perrys are giving a dinner and theater party and Miles won't be here—he's flying to South Bend to see the Notre Dame-California game. I thought you might go with me in his place.”

After a long moment Joel said, “Why—surely. If there's a conference I can't make dinner but I can get to the theater.”

“Then I'll say we can come.”

Joel walked his office. In view of the strained relations of the Calmans, would Miles be pleased, or did she intend that Miles shouldn't know of it? That would be out of the question—if Miles didn't mention it Joel would. But it was an hour or more before he could get down to work again.

Wednesday there was a four-hour wrangle in a conference room crowded with planets and nebulae of cigarette smoke. Three men and a woman paced the carpet in turn, suggesting or condemning, speaking sharply or persuasively, confidently or despairingly. At the end Joel lingered to talk to Miles.

The man was tired—not with the exaltation of fatigue but life-tired, with his lids sagging and his beard prominent over the blue shadows near his mouth.

“I hear you're flying to the Notre Dame game.”

Miles looked beyond him and shook his head.

“I've given up the idea.”

“Why?”

“On account of you.” Still he did not look at Joel.

“What the hell, Miles?”

“That's why I've given it up.” He broke into a perfunctory laugh at himself. “I can't tell what Stella might do just out of spite—she's invited you to take her to the Perrys', hasn't she? I wouldn't enjoy the game.”

The fine instinct that moved swiftly and confidently on the set, muddled so weakly and helplessly through his personal life.

“Look, Miles,” Joel said frowning. “I've never made any passes whatsoever at Stella. If you're really seriously cancelling your trip on account of me, I won't go to the Perrys' with her. I won't see her. You can trust me absolutely.”

Miles looked at him, carefully now.

“Maybe.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Anyhow there'd just be somebody else. I wouldn't have any fun.”

“You don't seem to have much confidence in Stella. She told me she'd always been true to you.”

“Maybe she has.” In the last few minutes several more muscles had sagged around Miles' mouth. “But how can I ask anything of her after what's happened? How can I expect her—”He broke off and his face grew harder as he said, “I'll tell you one thing, right or wrong and no matter what I've done, if I ever had anything on her I'd divorce her. I can't have my pride hurt—that would be the last straw.”

His tone annoyed Joel, but he said:

“Hasn't she calmed down about the Eva Goebel thing?”

“No.” Miles snuffled pessimistically. “I can't get over it either.”

“I thought it was finished.”

“I'm trying not to see Eva again, but you know it isn't easy just to drop something like that—it isn't some girl I kissed last night in a taxi! The psychoanalyst says—”

“I know,” Joel interrupted. “Stella told me.” This was depressing. “Well, as far as I'm concerned if you go to the game I won't see Stella. And I'm sure Stella has nothing on her conscience about anybody.”

“Maybe not,” Miles repeated listlessly. “Anyhow I'll stay and take her to the party. Say,” he said suddenly, “I wish you'd come too. I've got to have somebody sympathetic to talk to. That's the trouble—I've influenced Stella in everything. Especially I've influenced her so that she likes all the men I like—it's very difficult.”

“It must be,” Joel agreed.

疯狂的礼拜天 三

又到了疯狂的礼拜天。乔尔睡到十一点才起床。他看了一份报纸,了解一周以来的消息。他在家吃了午饭:鲑鳟鱼、鳄梨沙拉、一品托加利福尼亚酒。他开始为参加茶会精心打扮。他挑了一件细格子纹西服,一件蓝色衬衫,一条鲜艳的橙色领带。他的两只眼睛下面有两个因疲劳形成的黑眼圈。他开着二手车朝里维埃拉公寓驶去。他向斯特拉的妹妹做自我介绍的时候,迈尔斯和斯特拉穿着骑马装进来了——他们在回比弗利山庄的那条尘土飞扬的路上吵得不可开交,差不多吵了整整一个下午。

迈尔斯·凯尔曼,个子很高,精神紧张,脾气坏得令人绝望,有着乔尔以前从未见过的忧郁眼神。他是一位艺术家,从他那形状奇特的头顶到他那黑人似的脚指头都透着艺术气息。他稳稳地用自己那黑人似的脚站着——他从来不拍小成本电影,即使有时候他会因为拍摄豪华大片所导致的尝试性失败付出沉重的代价。尽管有他在场让人觉得蓬荜生辉,然而人们很快就能发现,他不是一个正常的健康人。

从他们进来的那一刻起,乔尔的时光就自然而然、不可避免地和他们密不可分了。他加入围着他们的一群人当中,斯特拉却抽身离去,还不耐烦地咋着舌头——而迈尔斯·凯尔曼在和碰巧站在他身边的那个人说话:

“别再谈伊娃·戈贝尔了吧,回家后我少不了为她的事烦心呢。”迈尔斯转身对乔尔说:“不好意思,昨天在办公室没有见到你。我在精神病医生的诊所里度过了一个下午。”

“你在接受精神治疗吗?”

“已经治疗几个月了。起先,我得了幽闭恐惧症,现在我想进行全面的治疗。他们说这需要一年多时间。”

“你的生活没有任何问题呀。”乔尔安慰他说。

“哦,没有问题吗?呃,斯特拉似乎觉得有问题。不过,问别的任何人——他们都会说没问题。”他苦涩地说。

一个姑娘坐在了迈尔斯的椅子扶手上;乔尔向斯特拉走过去,她愁眉苦脸地站在火炉旁。

“谢谢您给我发电报,”他说,“您真是太好了。我无法想象像您这样的大美人竟然会如此宽容仁慈。”

她比他以前见到她的时候更可爱,也许是因为他的眼神流露出排山倒海的崇拜促使她向他吐露心声——他们交往的时间并不长,也许是因为她显然正处于感情的爆发点上。

“两年以来,迈尔斯一直都带着这个贱人,我从来都不知情。哦,她是我最好的朋友之一,常常待在我家。最后,人们把真相告诉了我,迈尔斯才不得不承认。”

她意气用事地坐在乔尔的椅子扶手上。她的马裤的颜色和椅子的颜色相同,乔尔发现,她头发浓密,像金色的波浪,还一缕深一缕浅的,肯定不是染出来的。她素面朝天,不施粉黛,真是出水芙蓉,天生丽质啊——

斯特拉因为她的意外发现而气得发抖,她觉得无法忍受一个新人围着迈尔斯的场面。于是她把乔尔领进卧室,他们俩分别坐在一张大床的两头继续谈话。去洗手间的人朝里面窥探着,说着风凉话,然而,斯特拉全然不予理睬,一门心思地倾诉着自己的苦衷。过了一会儿,迈尔斯把头伸进来说:“想和乔尔说清楚是怎么回事,半个小时是不够的,连我自己都弄不懂,精神医生说需要整整一年才能弄清楚呢。”

她继续诉苦,仿佛迈尔斯不存在一样。她爱迈尔斯,她说——她克服重重困难,一直对他忠贞不贰。

“精神医生告诉迈尔斯,他有恋母情结。在他的第一次婚姻里,他将恋母情结转移到妻子身上,你知道——然后他将性爱给了我。然而,我们结婚后,同样的事情重演了——他将恋母情结转移到我身上,而将他的力比多都给了另外一个女人。”

乔尔知道斯特拉的话不可能是胡言乱语——然而听起来却很像是胡言乱语。他认识伊娃·戈贝尔,她是一个慈母般的女人,比斯特拉年龄大,可能也比她聪明。而斯特拉与她相比简直就是个金娃娃。

这时,迈尔斯不耐烦地提议,让乔尔跟他们一起回家,因为斯特拉要说的话太多了。于是,他们驱车回到比弗利山庄的宅邸。在高高的天花板下面,情况似乎变得更加严峻,更加具有悲剧意味。这是个十分怪异的明亮的夜晚,所有的窗子将黑暗严严实实地挡在了外面。斯特拉在房子里面大发雷霆,又哭又叫。乔尔并不十分相信女电影演员们的悲伤。她们具有志得意满的另一面——她们都是金玫瑰般的大美人,被作家和导演吹捧得活力四射,她们可以一连几个小时围坐在一起,说着悄悄话,别有用意地咯咯发笑,讲着发生在她们身上的各种奇遇。

有时候他假装在听,实际上却在想她打扮得多么精致——和她的两条腿十分相称的漂亮英气的马裤,意大利米色高领开衫,褐色的羚羊皮夹克。他无法断定是她在模仿英国的富贵女子,还是英国的富贵女子在模仿她。她在介于最真实的现实与最露骨的表演之间的某个中间地带游走徘徊。

“迈尔斯非常嫉妒我,无论我做什么,他都疑神疑鬼。”她轻蔑地大声说,“我在纽约的时候给他写信,说我和艾迪·贝克一起去看了一场电影,迈尔斯非常嫉妒,竟然在一天内给我打了十次电话。”

“我当时简直要发疯了,”迈尔斯使劲抽了一下鼻子说,他一紧张就会这样,“害得精神医生用了一个礼拜的时间都没弄明白是怎么回事。”

斯特拉绝望地摇摇头。“你希望我一连三个礼拜都坐在宾馆里吗?”

“我什么都不希望。我承认我很嫉妒。我尽力克制了。我和布里奇贝恩博士一起努力了,都没有效果。今天下午你坐到乔尔的椅子扶手上时,我很嫉妒他。”

“是吗?”她吃惊地说,“你也会嫉妒!难道没有人坐到你的椅子扶手上吗?整整两个小时,你和我说过一句话吗?”

“你在卧室里向乔尔诉苦呢。”

“我一想到那个女人——”她似乎以为不说出伊娃·戈贝尔的名字就能减轻她实际上的痛苦,“——以前常常来我们家——”

“好了——好了,”迈尔斯厌恶地说,“我已经全都承认了,我和你一样,感觉糟透了。”他转身和乔尔谈论电影,斯特拉则两手插在裤袋里,沿着墙,远远地踱着步子。

“他们对迈尔斯非常不好。”她说。她突然插入他们的谈话当中,仿佛他们从来都没有谈过她的私人问题似的。“亲爱的,把老贝尔策要改动你的电影的事告诉他。”

她以保护神的姿态为迈尔斯挺身而出的时候,她的眼睛为了迈尔斯而闪射出怒不可遏的火焰,乔尔意识到自己爱上她了。他兴奋得不能自持,立即起身告辞。

一个礼拜从礼拜一开始进入工作状态,这与礼拜天的夸夸其谈、流言蜚语和绯闻丑事形成了鲜明的对比。电影脚本的细节修改没完没了——“我们可以把她的声音保留到声道上,从贝尔的角度取一个出租车的中景,或者干脆把镜头拉回来,将车站也拍进去,让画面定格一会儿,再取一排出租车的长景,以避免蹩脚的溶景。”——到了礼拜一下午,乔尔竟忘了,从事娱乐行业的人也永远享有娱乐的特权。晚上,他拨通了迈尔斯家的电话。他找迈尔斯,斯特拉却跑过来接电话。

“感觉好点了吗?”

“不怎么好。下个礼拜六你有什么安排吗?”

“没什么安排。”

“佩里夫妇要举行晚宴和戏剧表演派对。迈尔斯不去——他要飞往南本德去看圣母队和加州队的比赛。我想也许你可以替他陪我去。”

过了好一会儿,乔尔才说:“呃——当然没问题。如果要开讨论会的话,我就不能去赴宴了,不过我可以去参加戏剧表演派对。”

“那么,我们就可以一去啰。”

乔尔在办公室里踱着步子,由于凯尔曼夫妇的关系比较紧张,迈尔斯会高兴吗?或者她压根就打算让迈尔斯蒙在鼓里?这绝对办不到——如果迈尔斯不提此事,乔尔也会告诉他的。当他静下心来重新投入工作时,一个多小时已经过去了。

礼拜三有一场四个小时的讨论会,会议室里群星荟萃,烟雾缭绕。三个男人和一个女人轮番走上地毯,有人提出建议,有人进行指责,有人厉声呵斥,有人谆谆诱导,有人自信满满,有人绝望失意。最后,乔尔留下来和迈尔斯谈心。

这个男人很疲惫——不是那种兴奋后的精疲力竭,而是对生活本身的厌倦,他眼皮松弛,满脸胡须,把整个嘴部埋进蓝色的阴影里。

“听说你准备乘飞机去看圣母队的比赛。”

迈尔斯的眼光越过他的头顶,摇摇头。

“我已经改变主意了。”

“为什么?”

“因为你。”他依然不看乔尔。

“你在说什么,到底怎么了,迈尔斯?”

“这就是我改变主意的原因。”他突然故作开心地爆发出一阵自嘲式的笑声,“我不明白斯特拉这么做是不是出于对我的鄙视——她邀请你陪她去佩里家,是吗?我可没有心思去欣赏那场比赛了。”

迈尔斯具有良好的导演天资,他拍摄电影时既机敏又充满自信,然而这种禀赋在应付他的私人生活方面却显得轻弱而又无可奈何。

“听着,迈尔斯,”乔尔皱着眉头说,“我从来没有挑逗过斯特拉。如果你因为我的缘故要取消行程,我不会陪她去佩里家,也不会去见她。你大可以放心。”

迈尔斯仔细地看着他。

“也许吧,”他耸耸肩,“无论如何,总会有别人的。我已经开心不起来了。”

“你对斯特拉似乎缺乏信心。她告诉我她一直对你忠贞不贰。”

“也许是这样。”在这最后几分钟里,迈尔斯的嘴部肌肉终于松弛下来了,“但是,发生了那种事情以后,我还怎么有资格向她要求什么呢?我怎么能指望她——”他不说了,接下来说话的时候,他的脸绷得紧紧的,“不妨告诉你,对也好,错也罢,也不管我做了什么,如果我还要对她做什么的话,那就是和她离婚。我不允许我的自尊受到伤害——离婚是最后一步棋。”

他的腔调激怒了乔尔,不过他说道:

“难道她还没有从伊娃·戈贝尔的事情中冷静下来吗?”

“没有。”迈尔斯抽了一下鼻子,悲观地说,“我也无法冷静下来。”

“我以为事情都过去了。”

“我尽量不再和伊娃见面,但是你知道,这种事情要放下有多难——她不是昨天夜里我在出租车里随便亲吻的女孩子!精神医生说——”

“我已经知道了,”乔尔打断他的话,“斯特拉告诉我了。”这真是令人沮丧。“哦,如果你去看比赛,我想我也不会去见斯特拉。而且我相信斯特拉没有辜负任何人。”

“也许是这样。”迈尔斯无精打采地重复着说。“不管怎样,我会留下来,陪她去参加聚会。嗨,”他突然说,“希望你也来。我得有个理解我的人聊聊天。麻烦就在这里——我在各个方面都对斯特拉施加了影响,特别是,她受到我的影响,凡是我喜欢的男人,她也都喜欢——这事很难办。”

“一定是这样的。”乔尔表示赞同。

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