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双语《马丁·伊登》 第十三章

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2022年06月25日

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CHAPTER XIII

It was the knot of wordy socialists and working-class philosophers that held forth in the City Hall Park on warm afternoons that was responsible for the great discovery. Once or twice in the month, while riding through the park on his way to the library, Martin dismounted from his wheel and listened to the arguments, and each time he tore himself away reluctantly. The tone of discussion was much lower than at Mr. Morse’s table. The men were not grave and dignified. They lost their tempers easily and called one another names, while oaths and obscene allusions were frequent on their lips. Once or twice he had seen them come to blows. And yet, he knew not why, there seemed something vital about the stuff of these men’s thoughts. Their logomachy was far more stimulating to his intellect than the reserved and quiet dogmatism of Mr. Morse. These men, who slaughtered English, gesticulated like lunatics, and fought one another’s ideas with primitive anger, seemed somehow to be more alive than Mr. Morse and his crony, Mr. Butler.

Martin had heard Herbert Spencer quoted several times in the park, but one afternoon a disciple of Spencer’s appeared, a seedy tramp with a dirty coat buttoned tightly at the throat to conceal the absence of a shirt. Battle royal was waged, amid the smoking of many cigarettes and the expectoration of much tobacco-juice, wherein the tramp successfully held his own, even when a socialist workman sneered, “There is no god but the Unknowable, and Herbert Spencer is his prophet.” Martin was puzzled as to what the discussion was about, but when he rode on to the library he carried with him a new-born interest in Herbert Spencer, and because of the frequency with which the tramp had mentioned “First Principles,” Martin drew out that volume.

So the great discovery began. Once before he had tried Spencer, and choosing the “Principles of Psychology” to begin with, he had failed as abjectly as he had failed with Madam Blavatsky. There had been no understanding the book, and he had returned it unread. But this night, after algebra and physics, and an attempt at a sonnet, he got into bed and opened“First Principles.” Morning found him still reading. It was impossible for him to sleep. Nor did he write that day. He lay on the bed till his body grew tired, when he tried the hard floor, reading on his back, the book held in the air above him, or changing from side to side. He slept that night, and did his writing next morning, and then the book tempted him and he fell, reading all afternoon, oblivious to everything and oblivious to the fact that that was the afternoon Ruth gave to him. His first consciousness of the immediate world about him was when Bernard Higginbotham jerked open the door and demanded to know if he thought they were running a restaurant.

Martin Eden had been mastered by curiosity all his days. He wanted to know, and it was this desire that had sent him adventuring over the world. But he was now learning from Spencer that he never had known, and that he never could have known had he continued his sailing and wandering forever. He had merely skimmed over the surface of things, observing detached phenomena, accumulating fragments of facts, making superficial little generalizations—and all and everything quite unrelated in a capricious and disorderly world of whim and chance. The mechanism of the flight of birds he had watched and reasoned about with understanding; but it had never entered his head to try to explain the process whereby birds, as organic flying mechanisms, had been developed. He had never dreamed there was such a process. That birds should have come to be, was unguessed. They always had been. They just happened.

And as it was with birds, so had it been with everything. His ignorant and unprepared attempts at philosophy had been fruitless. The medieval metaphysics of Kant had given him the key to nothing, and had served the sole purpose of making him doubt his own intellectual powers. In similar manner his attempt to study evolution had been confined to a hopelessly technical volume by Romanes. He had understood nothing, and the only idea he had gathered was that evolution was a dry-as-dust theory, of a lot of little men possessed of huge and unintelligible vocabularies. And now he learned that evolution was no mere theory but an accepted process of development;that scientists no longer disagreed about it, their only differences being over the method of evolution.

And here was the man Spencer, organizing all knowledge for him, reducing everything to unity, elaborating ultimate realities, and presenting to his startled gaze a universe so concrete of realization that it was like the model of a ship such as sailors make and put into glass bottles. There was no caprice, no chance. All was law. It was in obedience to law that the bird flew, and it was in obedience to the same law that fermenting slime had writhed and squirmed and put out legs and wings and become a bird.

Martin had ascended from pitch to pitch of intellectual living, and here he was at a higher pitch than ever. All the hidden things were laying their secrets bare. He was drunken with comprehension. At night, asleep, he lived with the gods in colossal nightmare; and awake, in the day, he went around like a somnambulist, with absent stare, gazing upon the world he had just discovered. At table he failed to hear the conversation about petty and ignoble things, his eager mind seeking out and following cause and effect in everything before him. In the meat on the platter he saw the shining sun and traced its energy back through all its transformations to its source a hundred million miles away, or traced its energy ahead to the moving muscles in his arms that enabled him to cut the meat, and to the brain wherewith he willed the muscles to move to cut the meat, until, with inward gaze, he saw the same sun shining in his brain. He was entranced by illumination, and did not hear the “Bughouse,” whispered by Jim, nor see the anxiety on his sister’s face, nor notice the rotary motion of Bernard Higginbotham’s finger, whereby he imparted the suggestion of wheels revolving in his brother-in-law’s head.

What, in a way, most profoundly impressed Martin, was the correlation of knowledge—of all knowledge. He had been curious to know things, and whatever he acquired he had filed away in separate memory compartments in his brain. Thus, on the subject of sailing he had an immense store. On the subject of woman he had a fairly large store. But these two subjects had been unrelated. Between the two memory compartments there had been no connection. That, in the fabric of knowledge, there should be any connection whatever between a woman with hysterics and a schooner carrying a weather-helm or heaving to in a gale, would have struck him as ridiculous and impossible. But Herbert Spencer had shown him not only that it was not ridiculous, but that it was impossible for there to be no connection. All things were related to all other things from the farthermost star in the wastes of space to the myriads of atoms in the grain of sand under one’s foot. This new concept was a perpetual amazement to Martin, and he found himself engaged continually in tracing the relationship between all things under the sun and on the other side of the sun. He drew up lists of the most incongruous things and was unhappy until he succeeded in establishing kinship between them all—kinship between love, poetry, earthquake, fire, rattlesnakes, rainbows, precious gems, monstrosities, sunsets, the roaring of lions, illuminating gas, cannibalism, beauty, murder, lovers, fulcrums, and tobacco. Thus, he unified the universe and held it up and looked at it, or wandered through its byways and alleys and jungles, not as a terrified traveller in the thick of mysteries seeking an unknown goal, but observing and charting and becoming familiar with all there was to know. And the more he knew, the more passionately he admired the universe, and life, and his own life in the midst of it all.

“You fool!” he cried at his image in the looking-glass. “You wanted to write, and you tried to write, and you had nothing in you to write about. What did you have in you?—some childish notions, a few half-baked sentiments, a lot of undigested beauty, a great black mass of ignorance, a heart filled to bursting with love, and an ambition as big as your love and as futile as your ignorance. And you wanted to write! Why, you’re just on the edge of beginning to get something in you to write about. You wanted to create beauty, but how could you when you knew nothing about the nature of beauty? You wanted to write about life when you knew nothing of the essential characteristics of life. You wanted to write about the world and the scheme of existence when the world was a Chinese puzzle to you and all that you could have written would have been about what you did not know of the scheme of existence. But cheer up, Martin, my boy. You’ll write yet. You know a little, a very little, and you’re on the right road now to know more. Some day, if you’re lucky, you may come pretty close to knowing all that may be known. Then you will write.”

He brought his great discovery to Ruth, sharing with her all his joy and wonder in it. But she did not seem to be so enthusiastic over it. She tacitly accepted it and, in a way, seemed aware of it from her own studies. It did not stir her deeply, as it did him, and he would have been surprised had he not reasoned it out that it was not new and fresh to her as it was to him. Arthur and Norman, he found, believed in evolution and had read Spencer, though it did not seem to have made any vital impression upon them, while the young fellow with the glasses and the mop of hair, Will Olney, sneered disagreeably at Spencer and repeated the epigram, “There is no god but the Unknowable, and Herbert Spencer is his prophet.”

But Martin forgave him the sneer, for he had begun to discover that Olney was not in love with Ruth. Later, he was dumfounded to learn from various little happenings not only that Olney did not care for Ruth, but that he had a positive dislike for her. Martin could not understand this. It was a bit of phenomena that he could not correlate with all the rest of the phenomena in the universe. But nevertheless he felt sorry for the young fellow because of the great lack in his nature that prevented him from a proper appreciation of Ruth’s fineness and beauty. They rode out into the hills several Sundays on their wheels, and Martin had ample opportunity to observe the armed truce that existed between Ruth and Olney. The latter chummed with Norman, throwing Arthur and Martin into company with Ruth, for which Martin was duly grateful.

Those Sundays were great days for Martin, greatest because he was with Ruth, and great, also, because they were putting him more on a par with the young men of her class. In spite of their long years of disciplined education, he was finding himself their intellectual equal, and the hours spent with them in conversation was so much practice for him in the use of the grammar he had studied so hard. He had abandoned the etiquette books, falling back upon observation to show him the right things to do. Except when carried away by his enthusiasm, he was always on guard, keenly watchful of their actions and learning their little courtesies and refinements of conduct.

The fact that Spencer was very little read was for some time a source of surprise to Martin. “Herbert Spencer,” said the man at the desk in the library, “oh, yes, a great mind.” But the man did not seem to know anything of the content of that great mind. One evening, at dinner, when Mr. Butler was there, Martin turned the conversation upon Spencer. Mr. Morse bitterly arraigned the English philosopher’s agnosticism, but confessed that he had not read “First Principles”; while Mr. Butler stated that he had no patience with Spencer, had never read a line of him, and had managed to get along quite well without him. Doubts arose in Martin’s mind, and had he been less strongly individual he would have accepted the general opinion and given Herbert Spencer up. As it was, he found Spencer’s explanation of things convincing; and, as he phrased it to himself, to give up Spencer would be equivalent to a navigator throwing the compass and chronometer overboard. So Martin went on into a thorough study of evolution, mastering more and more the subject himself, and being convinced by the corroborative testimony of a thousand independent writers. The more he studied, the more vistas he caught of fields of knowledge yet unexplored, and the regret that days were only twenty-four hours long became a chronic complaint with him.

One day, because the days were so short, he decided to give up algebra and geometry. Trigonometry he had not even attempted. Then he cut chemistry from his study-list, retaining only physics.

“I am not a specialist,” he said, in defence, to Ruth. “Nor am I going to try to be a specialist. There are too many special fields for any one man, in a whole lifetime, to master a tithe of them. I must pursue general knowledge. When I need the work of specialists, I shall refer to their books.”

“But that is not like having the knowledge yourself,” she protested.

“But it is unnecessary to have it. We profit from the work of the specialists. That’s what they are for. When I came in, I noticed the chimney-sweeps at work. They’re specialists, and when they get done, you will enjoy clean chimneys without knowing anything about the construction of chimneys.”

“That’s far-fetched, I am afraid.”

She looked at him curiously, and he felt a reproach in her gaze and manner. But he was convinced of the rightness of his position.

“All thinkers on general subjects, the greatest minds in the world, in fact, rely on the specialists. Herbert Spencer did that. He generalized upon the findings of thousands of investigators. He would have had to live a thousand lives in order to do it all himself. And so with Darwin. He took advantage of all that had been learned by the florists and cattle-breeders.”

“You’re right, Martin,” Olney said. “You know what you’re after, and Ruth doesn’t. She doesn’t know what she is after for herself even.”

“—Oh, yes,” Olney rushed on, heading off her objection, “I know you call it general culture. But it doesn’t matter what you study if you want general culture. You can study French, or you can study German, or cut them both out and study Esperanto, you’ll get the culture tone just the same. You can study Greek or Latin, too, for the same purpose, though it will never be any use to you. It will be culture, though. Why, Ruth studied Saxon, became clever in it,—that was two years ago,—and all that she remembers of it now is ‘Whaen that sweet Aprile with his schowers soote’—isn’t that the way it goes?”

“But it’s given you the culture tone just the same,” he laughed, again heading her off. “I know. We were in the same classes.”

“But you speak of culture as if it should be a means to something,” Ruth cried out. Her eyes were flashing, and in her cheeks were two spots of color.“Culture is the end in itself.”

“But that is not what Martin wants.”

“How do you know?”

“What do you want, Martin?” Olney demanded, turning squarely upon him.

Martin felt very uncomfortable, and looked entreaty at Ruth.

“Yes, what do you want?” Ruth asked. “That will settle it.”

“Yes, of course, I want culture,” Martin faltered. “I love beauty, and culture will give me a finer and keener appreciation of beauty.”

She nodded her head and looked triumphant.

“Rot, and you know it,” was Olney’s comment. “Martin’s after career, not culture. It just happens that culture, in his case, is incidental to career. If he wanted to be a chemist, culture would be unnecessary. Martin wants to write, but he’s afraid to say so because it will put you in the wrong.”

“And why does Martin want to write?” he went on. “Because he isn’t rolling in wealth. Why do you fill your head with Saxon and general culture? Because you don’t have to make your way in the world. Your father sees to that. He buys your clothes for you, and all the rest. What rotten good is our education, yours and mine and Arthur’s and Norman’s? We’re soaked in general culture, and if our daddies went broke today, we’d be falling down tomorrow on teachers’ examinations. The best job you could get, Ruth, would be a country school or music teacher in a girls’ boarding-school.”

“And pray what would you do?” she asked.

“Not a blessed thing. I could earn a dollar and a half a day, common labor, and I might get in as instructor in Hanley’s cramming joint—I say might, mind you, and I might be chucked out at the end of the week for sheer inability.”

Martin followed the discussion closely, and while he was convinced that Olney was right, he resented the rather cavalier treatment he accorded Ruth. A new conception of love formed in his mind as he listened. Reason had nothing to do with love. It mattered not whether the woman he loved reasoned correctly or incorrectly. Love was above reason. If it just happened that she did not fully appreciate his necessity for a career, that did not make her a bit less lovable. She was all lovable, and what she thought had nothing to do with her lovableness.

“What’s that?” he replied to a question from Olney that broke in upon his train of thought.

“I was saying that I hoped you wouldn’t be fool enough to tackle Latin.”

“But Latin is more than culture,” Ruth broke in. “It is equipment.”

“Well, are you going to tackle it?” Olney persisted.

Martin was sore beset. He could see that Ruth was hanging eagerly upon his answer.

“I am afraid I won’t have time,” he said finally. “I’d like to, but I won’t have time.”

“You see, Martin’s not seeking culture,” Olney exulted. “He’s trying to get somewhere, to do something.”

“Oh, but it’s mental training. It’s mind discipline. It’s what makes disciplined minds.” Ruth looked expectantly at Martin, as if waiting for him to change his judgment. “You know, the football players have to train before the big game. And that is what Latin does for the thinker. It trains.”

“Rot and bosh! That’s what they told us when we were kids. But there is one thing they didn’t tell us then. They let us find it out for ourselves afterwards.” Olney paused for effect, then added, “And what they didn’t tell us was that every gentleman should have studied Latin, but that no gentleman should know Latin.”

“Now that’s unfair,” Ruth cried. “I knew you were turning the conversation just in order to get off something.”

“It’s clever all right,” was the retort, “but it’s fair, too. The only men who know their Latin are the apothecaries, the lawyers, and the Latin professors. And if Martin wants to be one of them, I miss my guess. But what’s all that got to do with Herbert Spencer anyway? Martin’s just discovered Spencer,and he’s wild over him. Why? Because Spencer is taking him somewhere. Spencer couldn’t take me anywhere, nor you. We haven’t got anywhere to go. You’ll get married some day, and I’ll have nothing to do but keep track of the lawyers and business agents who will take care of the money my father’s going to leave me.”

Onley got up to go, but turned at the door and delivered a parting shot.

“You leave Martin alone, Ruth. He knows what’s best for himself. Look at what he’s done already. He makes me sick sometimes, sick and ashamed of myself. He knows more now about the world, and life, and man’s place, and all the rest, than Arthur, or Norman, or I, or you, too, for that matter, and in spite of all our Latin, and French, and Saxon, and culture.”

“But Ruth is my teacher,” Martin answered chivalrously. “She is responsible for what little I have learned.”

“Rats!” Olney looked at Ruth, and his expression was malicious.“I suppose you’ll be telling me next that you read Spencer on her recommendation—only you didn’t. And she doesn’t know anything more about Darwin and evolution than I do about King Solomon’s mines. What’s that jawbreaker definition about something or other, of Spencer’s, that you sprang on us the other day—that indefinite, incoherent homogeneity thing? Spring it on her, and see if she understands a word of it. That isn’t culture, you see. Well, tra la, and if you tackle Latin, Martin, I won’t have any respect for you.”

And all the while, interested in the discussion, Martin had been aware of an irk in it as well. It was about studies and lessons, dealing with the rudiments of knowledge, and the school-boyish tone of it conflicted with the big things that were stirring in him—with the grip upon life that was even then crooking his fingers like eagle’s talons, with the cosmic thrills that made him ache, and with the inchoate consciousness of mastery of it all. He likened himself to a poet, wrecked on the shores of a strange land, filled with power of beauty, stumbling and stammering and vainly trying to sing in the rough, barbaric tongue of his brethren in the new land. And so with him. He was alive, painfully alive, to the great universal things, and yet he was compelled to potter and grope among schoolboy topics and debate whether or not he should study Latin.

“What in hell has Latin to do with it?” he demanded before his mirror that night. “I wish dead people would stay dead. Why should I and the beauty in me be ruled by the dead? Beauty is alive and everlasting. Languages come and go. They are the dust of the dead.”

And his next thought was that he had been phrasing his ideas very well, and he went to bed wondering why he could not talk in similar fashion when he was with Ruth. He was only a schoolboy, with a schoolboy’s tongue, when he was in her presence.

“Give me time,” he said aloud. “Only give me time.”

Time! Time! Time! was his unending plaint.

第十三章

这个伟大发现的起因,是唠唠叨叨的社会主义者以及工人阶级哲学家于暖和的下午在市政厅公园里举行的那种集会。每月有一两次。马丁骑自行车穿过公园到图书馆时,会在半路跨下车子听辩论,每一回离开那儿都恋恋不舍。辩论会的格调与摩斯先生饭桌旁的谈话相比,要低得多。那伙子人既不严肃也不庄重。他们动辄发脾气和骂人,嘴里常常说粗话、脏话。有一两次他还看到他们相互打了起来。但不知为什么,他觉得那些人的思想从本质上来说有一股勃勃的生气。他们的唇枪舌剑给他的大脑所带来的启迪远远胜过摩斯先生的那种含蓄、沉稳的武断见解。他们操着面目全非的英语,像疯子样指手画脚,带着原始的怒火争辩不休,可他们似乎比摩斯先生及其密友勃特勒先生更具活力。

在公园里,马丁屡次听到有人引用赫伯特·斯宾塞[1]的语录。一天下午,斯宾塞的一个信徒来到了现场,此人是个不修边幅的流浪汉,肮脏的外套在领口处扣得紧紧的,以掩饰自己没穿衬衣。激烈的舌战开始了,不知抽了多少支香烟,吐了多少口嚼碎的烟丝,流浪汉始终坚持自己的观点。一位信仰社会主义的工人讥笑地说什么“世上没有上帝,只有‘不可知物’[2],而赫伯特·斯宾塞是其先知”,即便在这时,流浪汉还是丝毫不退让。马丁弄不清他们都辩论些什么,不过,待他骑上车子奔向图书馆时,心中已经对赫伯特·斯宾塞产生了兴趣。由于那个流浪汉反复提到《第一原理》,马丁就把这本书借了出来。

伟大的发现就这样拉开了序幕。他曾经一度想读斯宾塞的作品,一开始便选了一本《心理学原理》,结果就跟看勃拉伐茨基夫人的著作一样,遭到了惨败。由于看不懂,他没把书看完就还了回去。而这天晚上,他学了会儿代数和物理,又试着写了写十四行诗,然后上了床,翻开《第一原理》看了起来。一直到第二天早晨,他还在看书,简直无法入睡。这天他没写作,只顾躺在床上看书,身子不舒服了,就仰面朝天地躺在坚硬的地板上看,把书高举到空中,或者左右侧着身子看。这天夜里他睡着了,次日上午写了些东西,接着,他又被那本书吸引住了,于是躺到床上看了一下午,忘掉了一切,忘掉了那是个露丝留给他的下午。后来,伯纳德·希金波森一把推开门,责问他是否把他们看成了开饭馆的,他这才回到了现实世界中来。

马丁·伊登自始至终一直在受着好奇心的驱使。他渴望了解世界,而正是这种求知欲怂恿他到世界各地冒险。可是,眼下他从斯宾塞的书中学到的是些他以前所不知道的知识;如果他老是航海和流浪,那他永远也不会了解这些知识。过去他仅仅涉猎事物的表象,观察孤立的现象,积累零碎的事实,引出肤浅的结论,认为这个世界变幻无常和杂乱无章,充满了偶然及巧合,而世界上所有的事物都互不相关。他观察过飞鸟的身体结构,并根据自己的理解推论过其飞行的原理;但他从来没想到过去解释鸟儿这种具有飞行结构的生物是怎样进化来的。他想不到其中会有一段进化过程。他没思考过鸟儿怎么是这个样,只觉得它们历来如此,里边没道理可讲。

飞鸟是这样,所有其他的事物也是这样。在哲学方面,他既无知又缺乏准备,所以他的尝试一无所获。康德[3]的中世纪式的形而上学没给他以任何启迪,只起到了一种作用——使他怀疑自己的智力。同样,他研究进化论的尝试仅局限于阅读罗马奈斯[4]撰写的一部云雾缭绕的专业著作。他一点也看不懂,只从中得出一个印象:进化论是一种扑朔迷离的理论,是一群掌握着大堆晦涩词汇的小人杜撰出来的。现在他才知道,进化论并不纯粹是理论,也是一种公认的生物发展过程;科学家对此已意见统一,他们之间唯一的分歧是如何进化的问题。

那个叫斯宾塞的人把所有的知识都替他汇总在一起,将一切事物缩为一个整体,详细阐述事实的根源,使他惊奇地看到了一个具体、清晰的宇宙——这个宇宙具体得就像水手们制作的放在玻璃瓶里的轮船模型。世上没有偶然,也没有巧合,一切全是有规律的。正是服从了规律,鸟儿才能飞翔;正是服从了这同一规律,泥沼里的酵素才翻腾、蠕动,最后长出腿和翅膀,变成鸟儿。

马丁向知识的殿堂节节攀登,爬到了一个前所未有的高度。所有的神秘事物都把谜底袒露出来,而理解令他陶醉。夜里睡着的时候,他在噩梦中与神鬼相处;白天醒来后,他则像个梦游病患者,到处走动,以恍惚的目光观看这个他刚刚发现的世界。吃饭时,他听不到别人关于鸡毛蒜皮小事的谈话,可是对于面前的一什一物,他却一心要探个究竟,把其前因后果弄个水落石出。餐盘上的肉会使他联想到照耀的太阳光,继而联想到太阳能及其种种变化,最后追溯到远在数亿英里开外的能源;也许,他还会继续联想下去,想到他胳膊上的肌肉有了能量就可以切肉,而指挥肌肉运动起来去切肉的则是大脑,直至最后,他会觉得自己看到了那轮太阳在他的大脑里闪闪发光。他大彻大悟,完全入了迷,没听到吉姆低声骂他“疯子”,没看到姐姐的脸上露出了担忧的表情,也没留意到伯纳德·希金波森在用一个手指转圈圈,以此暗指他的小舅子已经痴癫。

从某种程度而言,给马丁留下印象最深的是知识的相互关系——各种知识之间的相互关系。他对了解事物一向都很有兴趣,不管获得什么样的知识,他都分门别类地贮入大脑的记忆库。这样,他贮存了大量有关航海的知识。对于女人问题,他也掌握着丰富的材料。可这两个方面互不相关,这两个记忆库之间无任何联系。从知识的角度讲,如果说一个歇斯底里的女人和一条随风转舵,或在暴风中顶风停泊的帆船有联系,不管是什么样的联系,都会让他觉得可笑和荒唐。然而,赫伯特·斯宾塞却向他指出,这不仅不可笑,而且两者之间如没有联系那才是荒唐呢。所有的事物之间都存在着联系。从广漠太空中最遥远的星辰到脚下沙粒中无数的原子,莫不如此。这种新观念激起了马丁永恒的兴趣,于是他孜孜不倦地忙于寻觅天下万物之间以及天上万物之间的相互关系。他把各种极不和谐的现象列成表格,直至找出它们之间的关系方才心满意足——如爱情、诗歌、地震、火灾、响尾蛇、彩虹、宝石、怪物、日落、狮吼、煤气灯、食人习性、美、谋杀、恋人、支轴和烟草彼此间的关系。这样,他把宇宙汇合成一个整体拿在手中查看,或者漫游于宇宙间的僻径、小道上和丛林里,这次可不是一个胆战心惊的旅人,在神秘的气氛中探寻不知底细的目标,而是观察和绘图,熟悉一切可以了解的事物。他了解得愈多,就愈迷恋这个宇宙,迷恋生活,迷恋处于宇宙中心的他自己的生活。

“你这傻瓜!”他冲着镜子里自己的影子喊道,“你渴望写作,并试着写作,然而你的心里连点可写的东西都没有。你的体内装的是什么?——几缕幼稚的思绪,些许不成熟的感情,很多凌乱的美感,一大团无知的黑影,一颗被爱情充塞得快要迸裂的心,以及一种与爱情一样强烈、和无知一般可悲的抱负。就凭这还想写作!你不过刚沾了点边,刚刚开始找到一点可写的东西。你对美的本质一无所知,却妄想创造美,这怎么可能呢?你期望描写生活,可是却不知道一丝一毫的生活基本特征。你渴望描写世界和生命的主题,却不知世界对你是个谜,而在生命的主题方面你所能写的也只是自己的无知。可是别灰心,马丁,我的老伙计,还应该写下去。你知道得太少,简直少得可怜,但现在走上了正确的道路,会步步深入的。如果走运的话,总有一天,你会接近谜底,了解到真谛,那时你就尽情写吧。”

他带着自己的伟大发现来见露丝,把心中的喜悦和惊奇全都讲给她听。可她对此好像并不怎么热心,只是默默地听着,让人觉得,她似乎早已悟出了其中的道理。和他不一样,她没有被深深地打动。若不是想到这种理论对她不像对他自己那样新鲜,他一定会感到诧异。他发现,阿瑟和诺曼虽然相信进化论,也读过斯宾塞的书,但斯宾塞的学说并没有给他们留下深刻的印象,而那个叫威尔·奥尔奈的戴着眼镜、蓬松着一头乱发的年轻人竟然讨人嫌地嘲讽起斯宾塞,把那句诗又重复了一遍:“世上没有上帝,只有‘不可知物’,而赫伯特·斯宾塞是其先知。”

不过,马丁原谅了他的嘲讽,因为他已经看出来奥尔奈并没有爱上露丝。后来,从一些小事上他还不无惊愕地发现奥尔奈不仅不爱露丝,还对她十分反感。这叫马丁无法理解,他无法把这一现象与宇宙中其他的现象联系起来。尽管如此,他还是为这位年轻人感到惋惜,觉得他缺乏一种素质,以致无法正确地看待露丝的高雅和美。有好几个星期天,他们都骑车子一道进山,这样马丁就有充足的机会观察到露丝和奥尔奈之间存在着剑拔弩张的关系。奥尔奈爱和诺曼待在一起,丢下阿瑟和马丁去陪露丝,对此马丁十分感激。

这些星期天对马丁来说是了不起的日子,主要因为他能和露丝在一起,也因为在这种时候他可以同她那个阶层的人平起平坐。尽管他们受过多年的严格教育,但他发现自己在智力上与他们是伯仲之间,而且和他们在一起谈话的时候他可以练习着应用自己所辛辛苦苦学来的语法。他丢掉关于礼节的书,重新依靠观察来了解如何举止。除非激动得忘乎所以,平时他总是处处留神,仔细观察他们的一举一动,从中学习细小的礼节以及文雅的举止。

在一段时期,马丁老是感到奇怪,因为斯宾塞的读者面竟然小得可怜。“赫伯特·斯宾塞嘛,”图书馆桌旁的那个馆员说,“哦,不错,是一个伟大的思想家。”可是,那位馆员对这位伟大思想家的学说似乎一无所知。一次吃晚饭的时候,勃特勒先生也在席,马丁把话题引到了斯宾塞身上。摩斯先生猛烈地抨击这位英国哲学家的不可知论,可末了却承认他并没有看过《第一原理》;勃特勒先生声称自己无法容忍斯宾塞,对他的作品连一个字都没看过,而且照样能生活得很好。马丁心里产生了疑团,要不是他个性特别坚强,他会接受大家的观点,放弃掉赫伯特·斯宾塞。但他觉得斯宾塞对事物的解释让人信服;他对自己这样说:放弃斯宾塞就相当于航海家将罗盘和航海针抛入大海。于是,马丁着手彻底研究进化论,愈来愈精通这门学说,对千百个有独立见解的作家所写的论证深信不疑。随着研究的步步深入,他看到知识园地里有许多东西前人都未涉猎过。遗憾的是一天只有二十四个小时,他常常对此牢骚满腹。

一天,鉴于时间太短,他决定放弃代数和几何。至于三角学,他以前连碰也没碰过。随后,他又砍掉了学习安排中的化学,只留下了物理一门。

“我不是专家,”他对露丝为自己辩解道,“我也不想当专家。专业的科目多如繁星,不管是谁,就是花一辈子的时间也掌握不了十分之一。我要了解的是一般性的知识。如果用得着专家们的理论,我可以查考他们的著作嘛。”

“但这和你自己掌握知识可不一样。”她反驳道。

“没必要自己去掌握,我们可以利用专家们的知识,他们的用处就在于此。我进来的时候,注意到有几个烟囱工在清理烟囱。他们就是专家,待他们清理完,你可以用上干净的烟囱,而没必要了解烟囱的构造。”

“这样举例恐怕有些牵强。”

她诧异地望着他,他觉得她的目光和态度中都包含着责怪。不过,他相信自己的观点是正确的。

“普通领域的思想家们,实际上连天底下最伟大的思想家,全依赖于专家。赫伯特·斯宾塞就是这样,依赖的是成千上万学者的成果才总结出了自己的理论。如果光靠自己,他得活一千辈子。达尔文也不例外,他利用的是花匠及牲口饲养员所得来的全部知识。”

“你是对的,马丁。”奥尔奈说,“你懂得自己在追求什么,而露丝却不然,她甚至连她为自己追求些什么都不知道。”

“——噢,不错,”奥尔奈没容她反驳,就抢着说了下去,“我知道你把这称为‘一般性修养’。不过,如果你想得到的是一般性修养,那你学什么都可以。你可以学习法语、德语,或者两者都不学,干脆学世界语,也照样算是一种修养。出于同一目的,你还可以学希腊语或拉丁语,即便这对你一无用处。这不也是修养嘛。对啦,露丝学过撒克逊语,而且学得很出色——那是两年前的事——,而今她只记得一句:‘whan that sweet Aprile with his schowers soote’[5]——是这样念吧?

“对你而言,这同样是修养。”他还是没容她辩驳,笑着说道,“我知道,咱们俩曾修过同样的课程。”

“可你所说的修养好像是达到某种目的的手段,”露丝嚷嚷起来。她眼睛闪闪发光,脸蛋上出现了两团红晕。“修养本身就是目的。”

“马丁渴求的却不是这个。”

“你怎么知道?”

“你追求的是什么,马丁?”奥尔奈转过身来,直截了当地问他。马丁感到十分不自在,恳求地望了望露丝。

“对,你追求的是什么?”露丝问,“这下事情总算可以了结了。”

“我当然想成为有修养的人。”马丁吞吞吐吐地说,“我热爱美,而具备了文化修养,就可以更细腻、更深刻地欣赏美。”

她点点头,显露出得意的表情。

“胡说,你明知道这是胡说,”奥尔奈发表意见道,“马丁追求的是事业,并非修养。只不过他的事业碰巧需要修养作为陪衬罢了。倘若他想当化学家,修养就是不必要的了。马丁想从事写作,可他又不敢这样说,因为那样一来就会显出你是错的。”

“马丁为什么想从事写作呢?”他继续说道,“因为他不是个大富豪。你为什么满脑子装的是撒克逊语和普通文化知识呢?因为你没必要闯荡世界,你的父亲可以为你做出安排。他为你买衣服以及其他的东西。咱们的教育——你的、我的、阿瑟的和诺曼的,顶什么用处呢?咱们浸泡在一般性的修养里,父亲大人们今天破产,咱们明天就得放下架子去报考教师。露丝,你最多只能当个乡村教师,或者到女子寄宿学校教音乐。”

“请问,你能干什么呢?”

“干不了有出息的事。我可以当一名普普通通的苦力,每天挣上一块半钱;也许还可以进汉莱的那家补习学校当个教师——请注意,我说的是‘也许’——也许教完一个星期,就会因能力太差被撵出校门。”马丁侧耳倾听他们辩论,相信奥尔奈的话是对的,可是他又为奥尔奈对露丝的那种傲慢态度感到气愤。他一边听,一边在心里对爱情产生了新看法。理智和爱情毫不相干。他的心上人讲的道理不管正确与否,都无关紧要,因为爱情凌驾于理智之上。如果她不能充分意识到他需要的是事业,她的可爱也不会因此而稍有逊色。她总是可爱的,她的思想丝毫不会影响她的可爱性。

此刻,奥尔奈提了个问题,打断了他的思路,可他没听清,于是便问道:“你说什么?”

“我说希望你不要傻得连拉丁语也学。”

“可拉丁语不仅仅是修养,”露丝插言道,“它也是一种工具。”

“那么,你打算学拉丁语吗?”奥尔奈追问着。

马丁被弄得左右为难。他看得出,露丝在急切地等待着他回答。“恐怕没时间,”他最后说道,“我很想学,就是没时间。”

“瞧,马丁追求的不是修养,”奥尔奈高兴地说,“他想获得点成就,干出些名堂来。”

“可是,学拉丁语是一种大脑训练,可以规范人的思想,造就出条理清晰的思想家。”露丝满怀期望地望着马丁,仿佛在等待他改变主张,“你知道,篮球运动员在大赛前要进行训练,而拉丁语对思想家则是异曲同工,也是一种训练。”

“真是胡言乱语。小的时候就听他们这么说。可有一点他们当时没告诉咱们,让咱们长大后自己发现。”奥尔奈顿住话头以增强效果,然后才继续说道,“他们没告诉咱们,凡是上等人都应该学习拉丁语,但没有一个上等人需要掌握拉丁语。”

“这不公平,”露丝嚷道,“你刚才话头一转我就知道你要说俏皮话喽。”

“俏皮话是俏皮话,”对方反驳道,“但也不能算不公正。真正掌握拉丁语的是药剂师、律师和拉丁语教师。如果马丁想当他们当中的一员,那就是我把事情估计错了。问题在于,所有的这一切与赫伯特·斯宾塞有什么关系呢?马丁刚刚发现了斯宾塞,并崇拜得五体投地。原因何在?因为斯宾塞可以使他有所作为。斯宾塞就不能使你我有所作为。咱们没有什么事业可以追求。你早晚都会嫁人,而我将无所事事,仅仅盯着那些律师和经济代理人就行了,因为他们将料理父亲留给我的钱财。”

奥尔奈起身告辞,但走到门口又转回身,来了一通临别赠言:

“别去干涉马丁,露丝。他知道怎样做对他最有利。你瞧瞧他已经取得的成就吧。他有时候让我为自己感到伤心,既伤心又惭愧。对于这个世界、生活、人的价值以及所有的一切,他比阿瑟、诺曼或你我,都更为了解,尽管咱们掌握了些许拉丁语、法语、撒克逊语和文化修养。”

“可露丝毕竟是我的教师呀,”马丁献着殷勤说,“我所学到的那点知识,都应该归功于她。”

“胡扯!”奥尔奈扫了露丝一眼,露出一种恶狠狠的神情,“接下来你大概还会对我说,你是在她的指引下才看斯宾塞的书——只不过事实并非如此。她对达尔文和进化论并不比我对所罗门国王的宝藏了解得多。那天你针对某种现象运用斯宾塞的观点下了一通佶屈聱牙的定义——讲的是什么模糊和不连贯的同类性。你再把那定义给她讲讲,她要是能理解一丁点就怪了。这不是修养,你要明白。噢,好啦,假如你研究起拉丁语,马丁,我对你的尊敬就会丧失干净。”

马丁对这场争论很有兴趣,但也感到有些恼怒。他们争的是学习和课程,论的是基础知识,满口的小学生腔调和他心中的冲天大志格格不入;和他那即使在此刻都令他弯起手指似鹰爪般紧紧抓住生活的抱负格格不入;和那种在他周身燃烧的广大无边的激情格格不入;也和他刚刚萌发的能够征服一切的感觉格格不入。他把自己比作一个因船只失事而流落异国他乡的诗人,心里涌动着美的力量,试图用异国兄弟那粗鲁、野蛮的语言歌颂美,然而却结结巴巴说不出来话。他的情况就是如此。他对宇宙间的伟大事物很敏感,敏感得要命,然而却被迫在小学生式的话题上打转转,考虑是不是应该学拉丁语的问题。

“拉丁语到底和这有什么关系?”这天夜里他站在镜前问自己,“但愿死去的永远死去。我和我心中的美为什么要受死人的支配?美是活生生的,是永恒的。语言可以产生也可以消亡,它们是死人的骨灰。”他觉得这段言辞十分精彩,上床时不由想道,和露丝在一起时,自己为什么就讲不出同样精彩的话呢?在她面前,他不过是个小学生,说出的话也像小学生。

“给我时间,”他出声地说,“只要给我时间。”

时间!时间!时间!他连声哀叹着。

* * *

[1] 19世纪英国唯心主义哲学家,其理论以进化论为基础,但却反对社会革命。

[2] 根据不可知论,这是一种超越认识的“绝对实在”。

[3] 18世纪德国哲学家,宣扬不可知论,认为人类的智力只能理解事物的现象,理解不了事物的本体。

[4] 19世纪英国生物学家。

[5] 14世纪英国著名诗人乔叟的杰作《坎特伯雷故事集》序诗中的第一行。

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