An Experiment in Love 爱的试验
An Experiment in Love 爱的试验
◎ Jo Coudert
The dog discovered them—four newborn kittens abandoned in tall grass beside the road. When I returned from my walk carrying the tiny creatures in the palm of my hand, my husband, Mike, said firmly, “No more animals.” Mike had already been saddled with my dog and three cats, and he wasn’t used to a houseful of pets.
我的狗发现了他们——被人丢弃在路边茂密草丛里的4只刚刚出生的小猫。当我手心里捧着这些小生命散步回来的时候，我的丈夫迈克坚决反对：“不能再养动物了。”迈克对我养的狗和3只猫已经很忍让了，他不习惯满屋子都是宠物。
“I won’t keep them,” I promised. “Just till they’re old enough to be on their own.” Mike looked dubious. “Word of honor,” I assured him, never dreaming how much I’d come to regret the easily uttered words.
“我不会久留它们的，”我发誓说，“就留它们到能自己生存为止。”迈克半信半疑。“我用名誉担保。”我向他保证，想也没想我将怎样后悔这轻易说出的话。
I made a warm nest for the babies by ripping up an old blue blanket and lining a wicker basket with it. Then I set out for the general store in the village to get advice about feeding them. “You can’t raise kittens that young,” the storekeeper told me. But he sold me a set of toy nursing bottles and I went home to try. I warmed milk, and after we all got the hang of it, the infants drank avidly.
我把一个旧的蓝色毯子撕碎衬在一个柳条筐里，给这些小猫崽做了一个温暖的窝。然后我就去村里的商店去问问怎么养活这些猫。“你是养不活那样小的猫的。”店主对我说。但是他还是卖给我一套小奶瓶，我就回去试试。我热了牛奶，在我们掌握了奶瓶的使用技巧后，猫咪们就如饥似渴地吮吸起来。
Two hours later they woke and set up an insistent chorus of soft little screams to be fed again. And every two hours after that. Four times in the night, I crawled out of bed to warm their milk, and in the morning I congratulated myself that they were looking just a little bit stronger, a little bit bigger.
两小时之后，它们醒了，又开始不断地哼唧着还要吃。就这样，每隔两个小时喂一次。那天夜里，我爬起来4次去给他们热牛奶，早上我恭喜自己，他们看上去强壮了一点儿，长大了一点儿。
Mike, reporting on their progress to his co-workers, came home one evening with word that his secretary had offered to adopt Peaches, my favorite because of her lovely soft coloring. Now that she soon would be leaving, I found myself picking up Peaches less often. Idly I wondered if no longer being treated as special would affect her personality. Then the thought turned itself around. Suppose I were to give one of the other kittens extra amounts of mothering? Suppose I held and cuddled and talked to him more? Would he grow up to be any different than his siblings? I thought it might be an interesting experiment.
迈克也把它们的成长情况告诉了他的同事。有天晚上回来，他说他的秘书想要领养桃子。桃子的毛发柔软可爱，我最爱的就是它了。既然它很快就要离开了，我发现我不再像以前一样经常去抱它了。我很无聊地想如果它不再受到特别的宠爱了，是不是会影响它的性情？接着我又反过来想：如果我给其中一只猫更多的母爱会怎样呢？如果我抱它，和它说话比较多的话会怎样呢？它长大后会和其他的兄弟姐妹不同吗？我觉得这可能是一次有趣的试验。
I continued to love all the kittens, but I chose the most unpromising of the kittens as my subject. This was the little black one Mike had named Bat Cat because he was so homely, with his dull fur, squashed, porcine, face and little folded flaps of skin for ears. The runt of the litter, Bat Cat was always on the bottom of the kitten heap, the last to be picked up, the last to be fed, and so the one who got the least attention. I gave the tiny creature a new name—Boston—and I repeated it over and over while I held him for his bottle. He would drink until, blissfully full, he fell asleep. Then I tucked him into my sweater so that he slept against my beating heart while I worked at my desk. When he woke, I snuffled his small body with my warm breath and talked to him before putting him back in the basket to play with his siblings.
我继续爱着所有的猫，但是我选择了最不看好的一只作为我的试验对象。它是一只小黑猫，迈克叫它蝙蝠猫，因为它相貌平平，毛色暗淡，长着一张扁猪脸，耳朵皱皱巴巴地耷拉着。又瘦又矮，蝙蝠猫总是被一群猫压在最下边，最后一个被抱起，最后一个给喂食，所以也是最不受关注的。我给这个小生命起了一个新的名字——波斯顿——给它喂奶的时候我一遍又一遍地喊它的名字。它就会一直喝，直到吃饱了，才美美地睡去。然后我把它塞进我的毛衣里，这样我在桌前工作的时候它就能听着我的心跳睡觉了。它醒来的时候，我就用温暖的鼻息嗅嗅它那小小的身体，跟它说会话，然后再把它放回到篮子里与它的兄弟姐妹们一起玩。
The effect on the kitten was immediate. His newly opened eyes, vague and unfocused like his siblings, became alert, and he studied my face with interest. Quickly he learned his name and, when I spoke it, he clambered over the folds of the blue blanket as fast as his unsteady little legs could carry him to come to me. Now when he was in the sleeping heap of kittens, he no longer passively accepted the bottom spot; sweetly but determinedly he wriggled out from under and nested himself on top. Was it that, sensing himself valued, Boston began to value himself?
试验很快产生了立竿见影的效果。它那刚刚张开的双眼，曾经和它兄弟姐妹们的眼睛一样混沌、茫然，现在变得机灵起来，它还饶有兴趣地观察我的脸。很快它就学会了自己的名字，我一叫它，它就以最快的速度从毯子的褶皱里摇摇晃晃地朝我爬过来。现在，在熟睡的猫堆里，它再也不会被压在最底下了；它轻轻地，努力从下面扭动着爬上来睡在他们上面。是因为意识到自己受到了重视，波斯顿才开始去重视自己吗？
He was the first of the kittens to discover he could purr, the first to make endearingly clumsy attempts to wash himself, the first to undertake the adventure of climbing out of the wicker basket. When the others, exhausted from their tumbling play, fell asleep, he would climb over the side of the basket and search for me.
在这群猫中，波斯顿是第一个学会喵喵叫的，是第一个又笨又可爱地给自己洗澡的，第一个冒险爬出柳篮的。当其他的猫打滚累了睡着的时候，它就会爬出篮子寻找我。
It is said that when a child is born into this world, the first years of his life are taken up with finding answers to the most basic of questions: Is it a good and benign world? Can the people in it be trusted? Am I loved? If a little kitten can also be curious about such things, then the special love given Boston answered all those questions with a resounding “Yes.”
据说，当一个孩子来到这个世上的时候，他生命的最初几年就是寻找最基本问题的答案：这是个亲善的世界吗？这个世界里的人可信吗？有人爱我吗？如果一个小猫也对这些事情感到好奇，那么给予波斯顿的特殊的爱足以对这些问题作出肯定的回答。
Even Boston’s looks changed. His fur, once rusty and rough, grew sleek and shiny. At first, the luster was just on his head, but gradually the glossiness moved down his entire body until little Boston gleamed from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail. Though never beautiful, he became so alert and merry, so trusting and affectionate, that the mere sight of him was a delight.
就连波斯顿的外形也发生了变化。它当初铁锈色粗糙的毛发也变得顺滑而有光泽。一开始，只是它的头部毛发有了光泽，但是渐渐地，小波士顿从头到脚全身的毛发都闪耀着光泽。尽管不漂亮，但是它变得那么机灵、欢乐，那么的忠实、热情，以至于一看到它就开心。
He was in his usual spot one evening when Mike walked in and heard us “talking”.
一天晚上，迈克走进来的时候，波斯顿正在它的“老地方”呆着，它听到了我们的“谈话”。
“You’re going to miss him when he goes,” Mike said.
“它走了之后，你会想它的。”迈克说。
I wheeled from the sink. “Oh, Mike...”
我从水池边转过身，说：“唉，迈克……”
Mike looked steadily back. I saw from his expression that this was a test between us. Would I keep my word to him or did I value a little black kitten more than his wishes? During our relationship, Mike and I had had our troubles learning to trust. I couldn’t jeopardize the confidence I had struggled to gain.
迈克回过头，直视着我。从他的表情中，我看得出这是我们之间的一个考验。我是应该遵守我对他许下的诺言还是把一只小黑猫看得比他的意愿还重？自从我们相识以来，我和迈克好不容易才学会了相互信任，我不想破坏我努力赢得的信任。
“Yes,” I said as evenly as I could. “Yes, I’m going to miss him.”
“是的，”我尽量平静地说。“是的，我会想念它的。”
Soon all but Boston went to new homes. When Mike came home with word of a church fairth at was requesting kittens be donated for sale at a pet table, it was obvious that these were to be my last days with Boston. Now when I cradled him in my arms, it was often tears on my cheeks that he patted. “Oh, little Boss, it’s going to be so empty without you, I would tell him and his eyes would narrow with the effort to understand my distress.”
很快，除了波斯顿，其他的猫都被送给新的家庭了。一天，迈克回家来说教会组织的义卖要在宠物柜台开展一个小猫义卖活动，很明显这将是我与波斯顿在一起的最后几天了。现在当我把它抱在怀里的时候，它总是轻拍掉我双颊的泪水。“唉，亲爱的波斯，没有你，我会多么的空虚呀，如果我能告诉它，它则会眯起双眼努力读懂我的忧伤。”
I was in the kitchen getting dinner that night when Mike came home. Boston went to the door to greet him but I couldn’t; I was fighting too hard not to cry. It was a long time before Mike joined me. When he did, he was carrying Boston, who had a big red ribbon tied around his neck. Silently Mike held out an envelope. Inside was a Christmas card and written on it was: “It’s only November, but let’s give ourselves a Christmas present.”
那晚，迈克回来的时候，我正在厨房做晚饭。波斯顿跑去门口迎接他，但我做不到；我强忍着不让自己哭出来。过了好久，迈克才进来，进来的时候，手里抱着波斯顿，他脖子上系着一条大的红丝带。迈克什么也没有说，拿出一个信封。里面有一张圣诞卡片，上面写着：“尽管现在才11月，但是现在让我们送给自己一份圣诞礼物吧。”
I reached out to hug Mike through my tears.
我泪眼蒙地伸出双臂拥抱了迈克。
