十种让人作呕朋友圈状态，你有震惊到么

1. Declarations of love that don't ever need to declared: “I love my daughter sooo much.”

没必要的爱的宣告：“我好爱我的女儿啊。”

Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps felt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on it. Once, a friend of mine posted, “I hate my kid. Sorry to offend you, but he's a little bastard and I'm sick of him.” Obviously it was a joke, but 141 people felt the need to tell him what a bad parent he was.

分析：这些人是不是觉得非得让别人知道自己有多喜欢谁，他们可能觉得坚守这份爱有些苦闷，你倒是告诉你爱的人啊，满世界嚷嚷算什么意思啊?有一次我的朋友发了这样一篇：“我讨厌我孩子，如果让你不爽我很抱歉，但他真的是个小混蛋，我太讨厌他了。”很明显他开个玩笑罢了，不过141个家伙在下面留言说他实在是个不称职的父亲……

2. Mundane details about their day appearing as milestones: “Going to dinner and a movie!!!”

普普通通的生活细节，非要当成里程碑一样的大事：“去吃了晚饭，还看了电影!!!”

Analysis: A very boring life.

分析：这样的日子真无聊。

3. Giving details about health along with emoticon to verify feelings about it: “Feeling sick today"
发身体情况的细节，还要加个表情符号证实自己说的没错：“今天感觉病怏怏的:(”

Analysis: Bored, and too stupid to just play Words with Friends.

分析：这人也被无聊逼的，和朋友玩文字游戏你都不够格，你这个蠢货。

4. Emotional rant directed at no one in particular, but so specific that everyone knows they've been screwed over: “Never trust people who tell you they will pick you up at 6 just to make you wait an hour. Some people will never be mature enough to be in a relationship, so maybe they should be dumped.”

情绪激动的怒骂，看似不针对某人，其实大家都知道他俩完了：“永远别相信一个说6点钟来接你，结果让你苦等了1个小时的家伙。有些人永远不知道恋爱里什么才叫成熟，也许他们活该被甩。”

Analysis: Well, they can't really give the person's name or address them directly. That would be too honest.

分析：咳，这人就是不指名道姓，也不当着对方的面直接说。那样有点儿太过诚实了。

5. Pictures of mundane plates of food in front of them.

一盘摆在面前普普通通的菜

Analysis: "I'm eating. You have to see what I'm eating!" Well, maybe it looked better at the restaurant.

分析：“我在吃饭哒，你要看我在吃婶Mua!”没准餐馆里的真货要比你拍的还好看些。

6. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “I’m loving life right now.”

生活很美好之类的感人宣告：“我爱当下的生活。”

Analysis: Life is not good.

分析：日子过得不好才会这么说。

7. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”

对神的感人告白：“能过得这么好都是有您的庇佑，我的一切都归于上帝。若将上帝作为你唯一救星，你将永远不会悲哀。”

Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.

分析：如果你信宗教就多花点时间去教堂，花少点时间在Facebook上。

8. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn't get back in my car. Hahaha.”

憋个段子写些稀松平常的事情：“停车加油，又等了一个小时拿到处方。结果发现我把车钥匙丢了，现在车也进不去。哈哈哈。”

Analysis: “It's funny, right? Please say it's funny.”

分析：“好笑吗，嗯?请你告诉我哪好笑。”

9. Political rants about random things: “Why should churches have to pay for abortions? Obama is a terrible president and a terrorist.”

不管什么都扯上政治：“为什么教会要为流产买单?奥巴马作为总统烂透了，简直是恐怖分子。”

Analysis: I don't know. I hate politics.

分析：其实我什么都不懂，我只是讨厌政治。

10. Unusual excitement about seeing someone: “OMG I can’t wait to see Lesley and Jaime and Kelly!!”

见到人特别兴奋：“OMG，我迫不及待要见到Lesley、还有Jaime还有Kelly!!”

Analysis: Superficiality is the drug of the overabundancy.

分析：肤浅是治疗精力过剩的良药。