隐身斗篷错觉：你没看见我，你没看见我...

科学家最近为了描述一种常见的心理现象，想出了一个吸引人眼球的术语：隐身斗篷错觉。

According to the scientists, and their 2016 paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, we incorrectly assume that other people aren't paying nearly as much attention to us as we are to them.

根据科学家们2016年在《人格与社会心理学》杂志上发表的论文，这一术语用来描述下面的现象：我们错误地认为其他人对我们的关注并不像我们对他们的那么多。

That is to say, while you're bobbing along to music during your morning commute, casually taking note of the fidgety fellow on your right, there's a good chance said fidgety fellow is casually taking note of you and your lack of rhythm.

也就是说，当你上下班途中徜徉于耳机的音乐之中时，一眼瞥到右手边那个满脸烦躁的家伙，并在心里留下了印象;很有可能，与此同时这个烦躁的家伙也记住了你。

Consider one study described in the 2016 paper.

2016年的论文中描述了他们的实验设计。

A pair of students were asked to bide their time in a "waiting room" before an experiment – little did they know, they were already participating in the experiment. After sitting in the waiting room, the students were asked to indicate how much they'd noticed the other person in the room (their behaviour, mannerisms, and appearance).

两人一组的学生在实验前被要求在“等候室”等待叫到他们的排号——他们完全不知道，实验实际上早已开始。等他们被叫了进去后，实验人员要求学生尽可能详细地描述一下他们观察到的房间里的其他人(他们的行为，举止和外表)。

They were also asked to indicate how much they thought the other person had noticed the same things about them.

他们还被提问，他们认为另一个人是否能注意到他们之间的相同之处。

As one of the paper's authors, Erica J. Boothby, writes in a New York Timesop-ed, "Although people surreptitiously noticed all kinds of details about each other – clothing, personality, mood – we found that people were convinced that the other person wasn't watching them much, if at all."

作为论文的作者之一，Erica J. Boothby在《纽约时报》专栏文章中写道：“虽然人们偷偷地注意到彼此的各种细节——服装、个性、情绪——但我们发现人们倾向于相信只有自己才是唯一的观察者，而其他人并没有注意到自己。”

I learned about this phenomenon while reading Cringeworthy by Melissa Dahl, which explores the science of awkwardness in everyday life.

Melissa Dahl的在专栏Cringeworthy中介绍了这一现象，Melissa Dahl专门探讨日常生活中各种尴尬事情背后的科学原理。

Dahl describes the "invisibility cloak illusion" in the context of a related psychological phenomenon, called the "spotlight effect."

“隐形斗篷错觉”诞生于其他相关心理现象的背景下，那被称为“聚光灯效应”。

In 2000, psychologists found that people aren't paying nearly as much attention as we think they are to the things we're self-conscious about.

在2000年，心理学家发现人们并没有像我们认为的那样关注那些我们自觉有趣的事情。

In a now well-known study, students walked around a party in a Barry Manilow T-shirt and ended up wildly overestimating how much the other party guests noticed their attire.

在一项现在众所周知的研究中，学生们穿着Barry Manilow T恤参加派对，最终高估了其他派对的客人对他们服装的关注度。

The title of the Times op-ed says it all: "You're too focused on what you're too focused on."

泰晤士报专栏所用的标题开门见山：“你太专注于你所关注的事情了”。

There are benefits to realising that other people are thinking about you as much as you're thinking about them

意识到其他人正在打量你，就像你正在打量他们，这对大家都有好处。

The point here isn't to feel self-conscious whenever you're in public. Instead, as Boothby suggests in The Times op-ed, it's to understand how miscommunication can happen.

这里的重点是，在公共场合无论何时，都不要有过高的自我意识。相反，正如Boothby为《泰晤士报》所撰写的专栏文章中所建议的那样。

For example, she writes: "Employees pull their hair out in frustration while bosses obliviously believe their instructions are simple and straightforward."

她写道：“员工抓狂地薅掉头发，而老板却认为他们的指示简单明了。”

Meanwhile, Margaret S. Clark, another author on the paper, told Psychology Today that it's worth remembering how much other people may in fact be thinking about you.

与此同时，论文的另一位作者Margaret S. Clark告诉“今日心理学”：请记住，其他人实际上可能也正在猜度你的想法。

Clark said, "If I want to go out to lunch with you, and I think that I'm thinking it more than you'rethinking it, then I might be hesitant to ask."

Clark说：“如果我想和你一起出去吃午饭，我觉得我考虑的东西比你所想的更多，那么我可能会犹豫不决。”

So: Remove your invisibility cloak and ask. The other person might be pleasantly surprised, and relieved.

所以：脱下你的隐形斗篷然后直接去问他。另一个人可能会感到惊喜，并大大松了一口气。