| 0:00:04.12, | Can I get everybody's attension. Real quick. | 各位安静一下 听我简单说几句 | 
| 0:00:07.69, | Um, on this wonderful occasion-- | 在这个美好的日子里 | 
| 0:00:09.74, | Our daughter leaving tomorrow for college... | 我们的女儿明日即将离家步入大学 | 
| 0:00:12.75, | If I could get everyone to raise their glass. | 请各位一起举杯 | 
| 0:00:15.56, | As I quote from one of our nation's great fathers-- | 容我引用我国一位伟大的父亲 | 
| 0:00:18.05, | Jefferson. | 杰斐逊 | 
| 0:00:19.48, | George Jefferson. | 乔治·杰斐逊 | 
| 0:00:21.39, | I never dreamed that one of my own | 我没想到我的孩子 | 
| 0:00:22.59, | would be going off to a university, | 有朝一日会进入大学 | 
| 0:00:24.14, | but here I stand, a proud black man, | 但今天我作为一个自豪的黑人 | 
| 0:00:26.04, | knowing that all those hours I put in at the dry cleaner--" | 明白我耗费在干洗机上的日日夜夜 | 
| 0:00:28.31, | Phil.-Not now,Weezie. | 菲尔-别打岔 维兹 | 
| 0:00:30.22, | Where was I? | 我说到哪儿了 | 
| 0:00:30.92, | Quoting that president. | 你在引用杰弗逊"总统"的话 | 
| 0:00:32.16, | Okay, if she's the future of America, | 如果她也算是美国的未来 | 
| 0:00:33.58, | we should start using Chinese money now. | 我们还是赶紧用人民币吧 | 
| 0:00:35.63, | We already are. | 我们早就在花中国人的钱了 | 
| 0:00:37.06, | My arm is tired. To Haley. | 我手都举酸了 祝贺海莉 | 
| 0:00:39.26, | To Haley! | 祝贺海莉 | 
| 0:00:41.09, | And before everyone puts their glasses down, | 在各位放下杯子以前 | 
| 0:00:43.20, | uh, uh, we're also very proud of Lily. | 我们也有莉莉的喜事宣布 | 
| 0:00:45.42, | Tomorrow is her first day of kindergarten. | 明天是她第一次上幼儿园的日子 | 
| 0:00:49.53, | - To Lily. - Oh, Lily. | 祝贺莉莉-莉莉 | 
| 0:00:50.87, | To Lily. And you'll be impressed to know | 祝贺莉莉 你们要知道 | 
| 0:00:52.45, | that she's gonna be one of the smartest girls there. | 她会是全班最聪明的小姑娘 | 
| 0:00:54.01, | Lily, sweetie, what's the square root of 64? | 莉莉宝贝 64的平方根是几 | 
| 0:00:56.34, | 8 | 8 | 
| 0:00:57.12, | Wow. Hey! | 好厉害啊 | 
| 0:00:58.05, | Nice trick. | 真狡猾 | 
| 0:00:58.97, | Hey, Lily, what's the square root of this potato? | 莉莉 土豆的平方根是几 | 
| 0:01:01.60, | 8 | 8 | 
| 0:01:02.30, | Congratulations. You have a parrot. | 恭喜你们 养出只大鹦鹉来 | 
| 0:01:06.16, | We couldn't even get through the toast to Haley | 海莉的祝酒词还没结束 | 
| 0:01:08.19, | before you pulled focus to Lily. | 你就让莉莉来抢风头了 | 
| 0:01:09.90, | Oh, come on. It's--it's a big day for both of them. Huh? | 拜托 今天是她们俩的大日子好吗 | 
| 0:01:12.67, | Haley going to college is a miracle. | 海莉能进大学是奇迹 | 
| 0:01:14.79, | Lily going to kindergarten is the law. | 莉莉进幼儿园却是法律强制规定 | 
| 0:01:17.37, | Well, Haley and Lily aren't the only ones starting school. | 海莉和莉莉不是唯一开始上学的人 | 
| 0:01:20.90, | My mom and jay are going to parenting class. | 我妈和杰要去上育儿班了 | 
| 0:01:23.05, | We're doing it for the baby. | 我们是为了宝宝才去的 | 
| 0:01:24.33, | Not this baby. That baby. | 不是她肚子里这个 是那个活"宝" | 
| 0:01:26.73, | Manny doesn't believe that we know what we're doing. | 曼尼不相信我们能尽好父母之职 | 
| 0:01:29.58, | A couple of new hairs under his arm, | 腋窝的毛刚长出几根 | 
| 0:01:31.41, | and now he thinks he knows more than his own mother. | 他就觉得自己比他妈懂得多了 | 
| 0:01:33.77, | I know not to embarrass my son | 我至少懂得不去 | 
| 0:01:35.13, | as he stands on the threshold of manhood. | 羞辱儿子青春期的正常发育现象 | 
| 0:01:36.73, | I don't know why I have to go to this thing. | 我干嘛非要去上那个课 | 
| 0:01:38.33, | In case you've forgotten, I raised two kids. | 你们应该记得 我带大了两个孩子 | 
| 0:01:42.13, | Stop pulling my hair. | 别扯我的头发 | 
| 0:01:42.89, | - Stop twisting my nipple. Ow! - Shut up. Shut up. | 别拧我的奶头-闭嘴闭嘴 | 
| 0:01:46.74, | Why look at me? It was their mother's fault. | 干嘛看我 都是他们老妈的错 | 
| 0:01:49.20, | I was barely around. | 我基本就不在家 | 
| 0:01:50.38, | No! Ow, ow! | 好疼 | 
| 0:01:52.41, | ■ | |
| 0:01:55.41, | ■ | |
| 0:01:58.41, | ■ | |
| 0:02:01.90, | 第四季 第二集 | |
| 0:02:05.56, | Haley, this is, like, the third bag | 海莉 你这些化妆用品 | 
| 0:02:06.95, | of makeup and hair care products. | 和护发器材都装满第三箱了 | 
| 0:02:08.30, | Dad, if you want me to get good grades, I have to look cute. | 爸 要想得高分 就得靠脸蛋 | 
| 0:02:10.84, | Don't say a word. | 别吐我的槽 | 
| 0:02:11.89, | No. No. I agree with that premise. | 不 我同意你那句话的假设前提 | 
| 0:02:13.46, | Thank you. Wait. | 谢谢啊 等一下 | 
| 0:02:16.26, | Yeah, thank you. | 好吧 谢谢你 | 
| 0:02:20.23, | Claire. | 克莱尔 | 
| 0:02:21.71, | In Haley's stuff, a box of condoms. | 海莉的行李里有一盒保险套 | 
| 0:02:24.28, | Yeah. Um, I-I bought those for her. | 是的 是我买给她的 | 
| 0:02:26.67, | What? Why don't you just buy her some fishnet stockings | 什么 你怎么不直接给她买双渔网袜 | 
| 0:02:29.25, | and a nurse's outfit? | 再加套护士制服装呢 | 
| 0:02:30.92, | Not that that's my thing. That just popped into my head. | 我不是制服控 只是脑海突然冒出了这画面 | 
| 0:02:33.07, | Honey, she's an adult, and she's going to college. | 亲爱的 她已成年了 又将去上大学 | 
| 0:02:35.41, | I want to be realistic. | 我必须现实一些 | 
| 0:02:36.66, | I don't want her to get caught unprepared. | 我不希望她"套到用时方恨少" | 
| 0:02:38.37, | 24 times? What, are you buying her a 4-year supply? | 24个套套 你这是准备了4年份吗 | 
| 0:02:41.40, | Please. Phil, that would've lasted me | 拜托 菲尔 那才够我 | 
| 0:02:43.33, | and my college boyfriend, like, a long-- | 和大学男友来一次长时间的 | 
| 0:02:44.53, | La, la, la, la, la, la, la! | 不听不听不听 | 
| 0:02:47.41, | Okay, we gotta hit the road. | 好 我们该走了 | 
| 0:02:49.01, | Give your sister a hug good-bye. | 你们姐妹俩拥抱再见吧 | 
| 0:02:52.78, | Don't dork up our room. | 别把房间弄得太书呆气了 | 
| 0:02:53.92, | Don't slut up your college. | 别在大学里和同学睡成一片 | 
| 0:02:59.45, | Seriously, though, don't study too hard, okay? | 说真的 别太努力学习了 | 
| 0:03:02.23, | I'm totally going to have fun. | 我会玩得很开心的 | 
| 0:03:04.08, | I'm Iceland in the mock U.N. | 我在模拟联合国中代表冰岛呢 | 
| 0:03:06.90, | Mom, we're gonna lose her. | 妈 我们要失去她了 | 
| 0:03:08.27, | I am doing my best. | 我会尽力阻止的 | 
| 0:03:10.39, | Luke, come say good-bye to your sister. | 卢克 过来和姐姐说再见 | 
| 0:03:12.67, | I'm right here. | 我来了 | 
| 0:03:15.54, | Bye, Haley. Have fun. | 再见海莉 玩得开心点 | 
| 0:03:17.76, | Don't drink too much beer and shots of tequila. | 别喝太多啤酒和龙舌兰 | 
| 0:03:20.03, | Why are you wearing that mask? | 你带着面具干什么 | 
| 0:03:22.21, | Uh, I like it. | 我喜欢 | 
| 0:03:23.58, | He doesn't want you to see him cry. | 他是不想让你看到他流泪 | 
| 0:03:25.14, | He's literally masking his emotions. | 他用面具罩住了自己的情绪 | 
| 0:03:26.99, | No! | 不是的 | 
| 0:03:27.69, | - That's so sweet. - Come here. | 真感人-过来 | 
| 0:03:29.66, | It's not sweet. I'm an evil cyborg. | 没什么感人的 我是邪恶电子人 | 
| 0:03:32.37, | Half my face was burned off in an industrial accident, | 半边脸都在工业事故中烧毁了 | 
| 0:03:35.13, | and the mask is hiding the servos that control my mouth. | 面具是用来掩饰让我的发声设备的 | 
| 0:03:40.28, | Yes, I am sad Haley is leaving, | 是的 海莉离家我很难过 | 
| 0:03:42.37, | but I'm gonna be okay knowing I've done everything I can | 但我很放心 因为我已经尽了一切努力 | 
| 0:03:45.20, | to get her set up and prepared and off on the right foot. | 让她万事俱备 即将迈出自立的第一步 | 
| 0:03:49.38, | Not me. When we're standing in her dorm room saying good-bye, | 我没有 我们在宿舍向她道别的一刻 | 
| 0:03:52.19, | it's gonna be one of the most emotional moments of my life. | 将是我人生中最激动的时刻之一 | 
| 0:03:55.50, | I'm gonna cry harder than the first time I saw "Air bud"... | 我会比第一次看《神犬巴迪》哭得还厉害 | 
| 0:03:59.24, | Especially when I give her this. | 尤其是在我交给她这个时 | 
| 0:04:02.33, | Phil's-osophy. | 《菲尔之道》 | 
| 0:04:03.76, | A hardbound collection of all the life lessons I've learned, | 我总结出的人生道理精装版 | 
| 0:04:06.67, | such as... | 比如 | 
| 0:04:10.62, | Always look people in the eye, | 永远直视对方的双眼 | 
| 0:04:12.82, | even if they're blind. | 哪怕对方是盲人 | 
| 0:04:14.26, | Just say, 'I'm looking you in the eye.'" | 告诉他们 我正看着你的双眼 | 
| 0:04:17.62, | Or... | 或者 | 
| 0:04:19.66, | If you get pulled over for speeding, | 如果你因超速被拦住 | 
| 0:04:22.54, | tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea." | 告诉警察你同伴有拉肚之急" | 
| 0:04:28.64, | Phil's-osophy. | 《菲尔之道》 | 
| 0:04:32.47, | Look how much fun you're gonna have here, Lily. | 看看这里多好玩啊 莉莉 | 
| 0:04:35.11, | So many great toys to play with, | 这么多好玩的玩具 | 
| 0:04:36.94, | and you're gonna make so many new friends. | 你会交到好多朋友的 | 
| 0:04:39.19, | Oh, I wish I was in kindergarten again. | 真希望我再读一次幼儿园 | 
| 0:04:40.87, | Oh, not me. Did I ever tell you about David Anthony? | 我可不要 我说过大卫·安东尼的事没 | 
| 0:04:42.54, | He used to call me "Cam the ham." | 他以前叫我"肉卡" | 
| 0:04:44.31, | - Okay, Lily's day. - Yeah, you're right. | 今天的主角是莉莉-你说得对 | 
| 0:04:45.70, | You know what? It's gonna be a great day. | 知道吗 你今天一定会很开心 | 
| 0:04:47.68, | I'm just saying, it's difficult to grow up | 不过 名字和"火腿肉"押韵 | 
| 0:04:48.84, | with a name that rhymes with "ham." | 成长过程就比较艰辛 | 
| 0:04:50.11, | Hello? Mitch? Witch. Twitch. | 是吗 米奇 巫气 抽泣 | 
| 0:04:52.99, | Bitch. | 贱器 | 
| 0:04:54.08, | Elaine Stritch. | 伊莱恩·斯特里奇 | 
| 0:04:55.24, | What? | 什么 | 
| 0:04:56.01, | Not all bullies are straight. | 不是只有直男才欺负人 | 
| 0:04:57.80, | Okay, parents... | 好了 各位家长 | 
| 0:04:59.62, | Oh! We'll see you at 12:00. | 12点再来接孩子吧 | 
| 0:05:01.54, | All right. Mm! | 稳住 | 
| 0:05:02.69, | This is when the crying starts. | 这时候眼泪就开始止不住了 | 
| 0:05:05.07, | Does it ever stop? | 有停止的时候吗 | 
| 0:05:06.44, | Come on, Cam. | 别这样 小卡 | 
| 0:05:07.42, | Okay. You know what, Lily, sweetie? | 莉莉 我的宝贝 | 
| 0:05:09.35, | I know this is gonna be difficult-- | 我知道离别总是伤人心 | 
| 0:05:10.77, | Bye! | 再见 | 
| 0:05:12.12, | Okay. That was a knife to the heart. | 好吧 真是一刀直戳我心 | 
| 0:05:14.24, | No, it's--it's a good thing. Come on. | 别 这是好事 别这样 | 
| 0:05:16.85, | Oh, you know what? She forgot her snack. Oh. | 糟了 她忘了拿零食 | 
| 0:05:20.96, | Where'd she go? | 她去哪儿了 | 
| 0:05:22.58, | Ow! That hurts! Ow! That hurts! | 好疼 好疼 | 
| 0:05:25.97, | Oh, Lily, honey! | 莉莉宝贝 | 
| 0:05:26.67, | Sweetheart, come here. Come here. | 宝贝 过来 快过来 | 
| 0:05:29.37, | If you ever put your hands on my daughter again, | 你再把你那小脏手伸向我女儿 | 
| 0:05:33.20, | I will string you up by your feet, run you up the flagpole, | 我就把你倒栽葱挂在旗杆上 | 
| 0:05:35.42, | and let the birds peck out your eyes. | 让鸟活生生啄出你的眼珠子来 | 
| 0:05:38.93, | You understand? | 你听懂了吗 | 
| 0:05:40.26, | Mr. Tucker, put that boy down! | 塔克先生 把那孩子放下来 | 
| 0:05:46.26, | He pulled my daughter's hair. | 他拉了我女儿的头发 | 
| 0:05:47.79, | Please apologize to Connor | 请你向康纳道歉 | 
| 0:05:49.47, | for using your hands instead of your words. | 因为你动了手 而非动口 | 
| 0:05:53.53, | Sorry, little fella. | 对不起了 小家伙 | 
| 0:05:55.67, | I would like to see you in my office. Right. | 请你们到我办公室来 | 
| 0:05:57.66, | - Now, please. - Me, too? Oh. | 现在就来-我也要去吗 | 
| 0:06:07.68, | Stop it. Leave him alone. | 够了 别惹他了 | 
| 0:06:17.56, | Mr. Tucker, what happened out there was unacceptable. | 塔克先生 刚才的事是不可接受的 | 
| 0:06:19.78, | I agree. Is this kindergarten or "The hunger games"? | 我同意 这是幼儿园还是饥饿游戏啊 | 
| 0:06:22.31, | I'm speaking of your behavior. | 我说的是你的行为 | 
| 0:06:24.13, | We've never had an incident like this, | 我们从没遇到这种事 | 
| 0:06:25.62, | and now we've had one on the first day, | 现在开学第一天就发生了 | 
| 0:06:27.23, | Before circle time. | 还没到班级集合时间呢 | 
| 0:06:28.90, | What the fudge were you thinking? | 你们到底在想什么 | 
| 0:06:30.52, | Now the boy's parents are coming in, and trust me, | 现在这孩子的家长也来了 相信我 | 
| 0:06:32.51, | they're mad as hello kitty. | 她们简直是愤怒的凯蒂猫 | 
| 0:06:33.94, | Oh, you told his parents on us? | 你向他家长告状啦 | 
| 0:06:36.56, | That is--that is so not cool. | 这实在 太不够意思了 | 
| 0:06:38.12, | Well, I'm sure once they hear what their boy did, | 我相信一旦他们听到自己儿子的所为 | 
| 0:06:39.52, | they will be understanding. | 他们也会理解的 | 
| 0:06:42.15, | All right, whoever made our son cry | 哪个吃了雄心豹子胆 | 
| 0:06:43.70, | has messed with the wrong moms. | 敢惹我们家宝贝儿子 | 
| 0:06:47.22, | Lesbians. | 拉拉们 | 
| 0:06:49.17, | While often lumped together, gay men and lesbians | 虽然基佬和拉拉常被人扯在一起 | 
| 0:06:51.46, | have less in common than one might think. | 但实际我们之间并没有什么交集 | 
| 0:06:53.49, | Like in the Venn Diagram of sexual identity, | 就好比性别认同的交集图 | 
| 0:06:56.47, | You have gay men... | 我是基佬 | 
| 0:06:57.77, | And straight men. | 我是直男 | 
| 0:06:59.81, | Both the same gender. | 我们性别一样 | 
| 0:07:01.58, | Then you have gay men... | 我是基佬 | 
| 0:07:03.26, | And straight women. | 我是直女 | 
| 0:07:04.97, | Both attracted to the same gender. | 我们都爱男人 | 
| 0:07:07.53, | But gay men and lesbians? | 可基佬和拉拉们呢 | 
| 0:07:10.50, | No. | 不行 | 
| 0:07:11.13, | Nothing. | 毫无交集 | 
| 0:07:12.61, | I am so sorry we have to meet like this, | 抱歉以这种方式和你们见面 | 
| 0:07:14.94, | but I'm sure you can understand, as parents, | 但我想同为家长 你们可以理解 | 
| 0:07:16.72, | the instinct to protect your child. | 保护自己孩子的那种本能 | 
| 0:07:19.21, | Yeah, it's what makes me want to punch you in the neck right now. | 是啊 所以我想一拳狠狠砸在你脖子上 | 
| 0:07:21.66, | Wow. I see where your son gets all of his aggression. | 哇 我终于明白你儿子的暴力倾向源自何处了 | 
| 0:07:24.03, | Okay, let's all take a time-out. | 好了 二位都消消火吧 | 
| 0:07:25.88, | That's a good idea. This is getting a little heated. | 真是个好主意 战火烧得有点大 | 
| 0:07:27.73, | Yeah, Pam, | 是啊 帕姆 | 
| 0:07:28.46, | we don't want another incident like at the lumberyard. | 别又闹出上次在木材场那样的事故 | 
| 0:07:31.09, | Oh, my god. You guys go to the lumberyard, too? D-- | 天啊 你们也去木材场啊 | 
| 0:07:33.94, | I didn't know they had a ladies' night. | 我不知道那儿也办"女士之夜"呢 | 
| 0:07:35.63, | Not the bar, sally. | 不是说"木材场酒吧" 蠢蛋 | 
| 0:07:37.34, | Okay, you know what? He's trying to be nice, | 其实 他是想友善示好 | 
| 0:07:39.24, | And you just called him "Sally." | 你却叫他蠢蛋 | 
| 0:07:40.54, | Yeah, you're not being very helpful, peppermint patty. | 是啊 你简直是越帮越乱 小甜心 | 
| 0:07:42.72, | Okay. Let's just stick to our actual names. | 好吧 我们就叫真名好吗 | 
| 0:07:44.57, | Enough. | 够了 | 
| 0:07:45.72, | I'm gonna give you a little homework assignment. | 我要给你们分配一项家庭作业 | 
| 0:07:47.94, | I want you and your kids to have a family playdate. | 我希望你们和孩子们一起来个家庭欢聚会 | 
| 0:07:50.96, | Maybe if the four of you can get along, | 如果你们四个可以和睦相处 | 
| 0:07:52.26, | You can set a better example for your children. | 也可以为孩子们树立个好榜样 | 
| 0:07:54.57, | I think that's a wonderful idea. Pam? | 我觉得那是个好主意 帕姆 | 
| 0:07:57.67, | Fine.-Cam? | 好吧-小卡 | 
| 0:07:58.95, | Fine. We'll host, obviously. | 好吧 不过显然是由我们来主持 | 
| 0:08:00.86, | Obviously? | 显然吗 | 
| 0:08:01.70, | I assume you have an unfinished woodworking project at your house. | 我猜想你们家一定还有木工活没做完吧 | 
| 0:08:04.28, | You've got a lot of nerve. | 你真是胆大 出言放肆 | 
| 0:08:05.57, | Yeah, and you've got half a canoe in our living room. | 是啊 你做了半个独木舟还在我们家客厅里呢 | 
| 0:08:09.38, | I look forward to your frittata. | 我很期待尝尝你们做的馅饼 | 
| 0:08:11.30, | Oh. Why, are you visiting us in 2008? | 那么老套的东西 你当现在是2008年啊 | 
| 0:08:13.53, | Oh, my god. | 老天啊 | 
| 0:08:21.23, | You have some explaining to do. | 你得好好解释一下为什么生个黑娃了 | 
| 0:08:23.16, | I'm so sorry that you had to find out like this, Jay. | 我很抱歉娃出生了你才发现我的奸情 杰 | 
| 0:08:27.43, | Wow, you two are really far along. | 哇 你肚子那么大了 怀孕挺久了吧 | 
| 0:08:29.54, | We're, uh, we're still in our first trimester. | 我们才刚刚处于怀孕前三个月 | 
| 0:08:31.70, | Ay, that's nice. | 真好 | 
| 0:08:32.94, | Yeah, we've been trying to get pregnant for ages. | 是啊 我们多年来一直都在努力生个孩子 | 
| 0:08:35.00, | She's Latina. You just gotta look at her funny. | 她是拉丁人 做个鬼脸笑笑都能怀孕 | 
| 0:08:38.36, | Okay, now that everyone has their doll, | 好了 现在大家手上都有娃娃了 | 
| 0:08:41.91, | Let's talk about swaddling. | 我们先来讲一下怎么包孩子 | 
| 0:08:43.70, | Now you want to start by turning one corner of the blanket | 首先 你们要把毯子的一角 | 
| 0:08:46.45, | toward you, like a diamond, | 折向自己 折个菱形 | 
| 0:08:48.48, | And folding the top down, | 从上面折起来 | 
| 0:08:51.35, | Like this. | 就像这样 | 
| 0:08:52.72, | I think they made a mistake at the hospital. | 我觉得医院把我们的孩子搞错了 | 
| 0:08:57.79, | Tough room. | 全教室的人都没笑点 | 
| 0:08:58.98, | Now we are going to pull the other corner 'round, | 然后将另外一个角折过来 | 
| 0:09:02.19, | And tuck it in nice and snug | 整齐服帖地掖到一起 | 
| 0:09:05.24, | Like a burrito. | 就像玉米煎饼一样 | 
| 0:09:06.28, | Done! I win. | 完成 我胜了 | 
| 0:09:08.79, | It's not a race. | 这不是比赛 | 
| 0:09:09.90, | You're darn right. It wasn't even close. | 你说得太对了 跟比赛差远了 | 
| 0:09:14.89, | Okay, it's good, but it's a little tight. | 好吧 你包得不错 但有点太紧了 | 
| 0:09:18.14, | It's a burrito. You don't want the meat to fall out. | 是你说玉米煎饼的啊 不能让里面的肉掉出来 | 
| 0:09:20.88, | Here. And try like this. | 看着 像这样 | 
| 0:09:25.58, | And see? | 瞧见了吗 | 
| 0:09:27.92, | Now your baby can breathe. | 现在你们的宝宝可以呼吸了 | 
| 0:09:31.93, | I wrapped my son with one hand while driving a stick. | 我一手开车 一手都能将我儿子包好 | 
| 0:09:35.62, | I think I know how to keep a baby safe. | 我很清楚该怎样保证宝宝的安全 | 
| 0:09:41.42, | Man, I love being back in the dorms. | 天啊 我真喜欢重归宿舍的感觉 | 
| 0:09:43.41, | It's like I never left. | 就像我从未离开过 | 
| 0:09:45.94, | Throw up a David Copperfield poster, | 贴张大卫·科波菲尔的海报 | 
| 0:09:47.36, | this could be my room. | 简直就跟我的宿舍一模一样 | 
| 0:09:49.06, | Honey, Haley and I have to go fill out some paperwork. | 亲爱的 我陪海莉去填一些文件 | 
| 0:09:51.56, | Why don't you throw the linens on the bed? | 你就把亚麻衣服放床上吧 | 
| 0:09:53.97, | - Oh, and move the car before they tow us. - Okay. | -然后把车挪个位置 别被拖走了 -好 | 
| 0:09:56.41, | Oh, my god. What is that shirt?! | 老天啊 你那T恤是怎么回事 | 
| 0:09:57.79, | Pretty sweet, huh? "Haley Dunphy moving co." | 超有爱的吧 海莉·邓菲搬家公司 | 
| 0:10:00.33, | cause we're moving you here and here. | 因为我们要把你"搬"到这里 上面也是 | 
| 0:10:02.92, | And also... | 还有... | 
| 0:10:04.91, | Here. | 心里 | 
| 0:10:06.71, | Man, you used to love it when we swung you like that. | 女儿 以前你可喜欢拉着我们的手荡秋千了 | 
| 0:10:09.35, | I bet we could still do it. | 我觉得现在还是可以做的吧 | 
| 0:10:10.87, | - Yeah! - Yeah. | 是啊-是啊 | 
| 0:10:11.99, | Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. | 噢不不不不 | 
| 0:10:13.21, | Don't you dare pick me up! And take that shirt off. | 你们敢来拉我 还有 赶快把那衣服脱了 | 
| 0:10:14.99, | - What? Why? - It's cute! | -什么 为什么 -多有爱啊 | 
| 0:10:17.21, | It's not cute! Do you see what's happening out there? | 一点都没有爱 你没看见现在的状况吗 | 
| 0:10:19.55, | People are walking around and judging each other. | 大家都转来转去互相吐槽鄙视 | 
| 0:10:21.73, | No, they're not. | 不 才没有呢 | 
| 0:10:22.86, | Oh, really? | 是吗 | 
| 0:10:23.45, | You didn't see the way | 你们没看见 | 
| 0:10:24.04, | muffin top across the hall was looking at me? | 大厅对面向我投来的各种淫邪眼光吗 | 
| 0:10:25.49, | People can be cruel. So take it off. | 大学生的嘴是很恶毒的 赶紧脱下来 | 
| 0:10:28.53, | Fine. | 好吧 | 
| 0:10:31.75, | Oh, my god! Put on a shirt! | 天啊 快把衣服穿上 | 
| 0:10:33.29, | I don't know what you want from me! | 我不知道你到底想让我搞哪样 | 
| 0:10:35.23, | You only get one chance at a first impression. | 第一印象一旦定下就无法更改 | 
| 0:10:37.85, | I suggest Julia Child, because it's easy to do." | 我建议模仿厨神茱莉亚 因为那很简单 | 
| 0:10:41.97, | Save the giblets. | 留着内脏别扔 | 
| 0:10:46.27, | Time to go to the beach! | 该去沙滩了 | 
| 0:10:47.62, | You're gonna go to the beach with a dog? | 你想带着狗去沙滩吗 | 
| 0:10:49.93, | I don't know what I did | 我真不知道我干了什么好事 | 
| 0:10:50.78, | - to deserve this. - Yeah. | 得到这样一个好孩子-是啊 | 
| 0:10:52.76, | I want to show Connor my toys. | 我想带康纳去看我的玩具 | 
| 0:10:54.53, | Oh, okay. You do that, sweetie. | 好啊 去吧 宝贝 | 
| 0:10:56.17, | Hey, Connor, uh, no hair pulling. | 嘿 康纳 别再扯人家头发了 | 
| 0:10:58.44, | Thank you for that. | 谢谢你 | 
| 0:10:59.62, | Okay, we have an assortment of spring rolls here. | 好了 我做了各种春卷 | 
| 0:11:03.38, | All vegetarian, of course. | 都是素馅的 当然了 | 
| 0:11:05.18, | Oh, 'cause I'm a lesbian, I'm automatically a vegetarian? | 因为我是拉拉 我就肯定是个素食主义者吗 | 
| 0:11:08.26, | Well, I saw it on "The L word." | 我在《拉字至上》那部剧中看到的 | 
| 0:11:08.98, | I assume they have consultants. | 人家编剧也不是乱编的吧 | 
| 0:11:10.44, | I'm just saying it's an offensive stereotype. | 我想说 那是世人对拉拉冒犯性的刻板印象 | 
| 0:11:12.21, | Okay, Pam, you are a vegetarian. | 够了 帕姆 你确实是素食主义者啊 | 
| 0:11:15.72, | Knock it off. | 别装了吧 | 
| 0:11:16.52, | Worked out. | 碰对了 | 
| 0:11:18.62, | Yeah. So glad that we are doing this. | 是啊 真高兴我们可以这样和睦地相处 | 
| 0:11:21.00, | - Yeah. Yeah, me, too. - Yeah. | -是啊 我也是 -是啊 | 
| 0:11:22.84, | I mean, we're the only gay parents in the class. | 我们是班里唯一的同性恋家长 | 
| 0:11:24.90, | Yeah, we should be supporting one another. | 是啊 我们该互相支持才对 | 
| 0:11:26.43, | I mean, we have so much in common. | 我是说 我们有那么多共同点 | 
| 0:11:28.27, | Exactly. | 就是啊 | 
| 0:11:33.36, | So... | 所以 | 
| 0:11:35.16, | Tell us about yourselves. | 介绍一下你们自己吧 | 
| 0:11:36.23, | I'm an environmental lawyer. | 我是个环保法律师 | 
| 0:11:38.04, | Uh, and I'm a homemaker. | 我是个家庭主夫 | 
| 0:11:41.72, | And--and, uh, and what do you do? | 你 你们是干什么的 | 
| 0:11:43.22, | I'm a financial consultant. | 我是个理财顾问 | 
| 0:11:45.06, | I'm a contractor. | 我是个承包商 | 
| 0:11:48.63, | You thought I was a P.E. teacher? | 你以为我是个体育老师吗 | 
| 0:11:50.31, | Well, figured. | 猜的 | 
| 0:11:51.40, | Hey, I have a question real quick. | 我有个小问题要问 | 
| 0:11:52.46, | How do you guys get the car seat on the motorcycle? | 你们是怎么把儿童座椅绑上摩托车的 | 
| 0:11:54.53, | Uh, you know, Connor is having a birthday next week. | 话说 康纳的生日会就在下周 | 
| 0:11:57.01, | Maybe Lily would like to come. | 不知道莉莉愿不愿意去 | 
| 0:11:58.32, | Oh, she would love that. | 她一定非常乐意 | 
| 0:11:59.51, | Oh, great. Are you guys having a clown? | 真好 你们要请小丑吗 | 
| 0:12:01.08, | Oh, god, no. | 天啊 当然不要 | 
| 0:12:02.34, | I hate clowns they're so creepy. | 我最讨厌小丑了 慎得慌 | 
| 0:12:04.64, | Maybe you just don't like them because they wear makeup. | 你不喜欢 或许是因为他们会化妆吧 | 
| 0:12:08.33, | You know what? I'm out. | 算了 我走了 | 
| 0:12:10.23, | Okay.-Pam. | 好吧-帕姆 | 
| 0:12:11.21, | Connor, we're leaving! | 康纳 我们要走了 | 
| 0:12:12.24, | - You--you don't understand. - Pam! Pam! | 你误会了-帕姆 帕姆 | 
| 0:12:13.72, | Cam used to be a clown. | 小卡曾经是个小丑 | 
| 0:12:14.67, | Used to be? Once a clown, always a clown. | 曾经吗 一日为小丑 终身为小丑 | 
| 0:12:16.20, | God! Not now! Not now! | 天啊 别现在发作 别挑现在 | 
| 0:12:18.27, | Connor, let's go. | 康纳 我们走了 | 
| 0:12:19.52, | Pam. | 帕姆 | 
| 0:12:24.39, | Why is this door locked? | 为什么门是锁着的 | 
| 0:12:25.27, | Here. Let me, please. | 过来 让我来 | 
| 0:12:27.31, | Lily, open this door right now. | 莉莉 立刻把门打开 | 
| 0:12:30.29, | Okay. I'm not hearing anything. | 好吧 里面一点声音都没有 | 
| 0:12:32.22, | I'm sure they're fine. | 我确定他们平安无事的 | 
| 0:12:33.41, | Oh, how are you sure? | 你怎么确定的 | 
| 0:12:35.70, | Connor! | 康纳 | 
| 0:12:36.57, | - Lily! - Connor! | 莉莉-康纳 | 
| 0:12:37.91, | Lily! | 莉莉 | 
| 0:12:45.65, | Make the water comfortably warm | 将水温调到舒适的温度 | 
| 0:12:47.86, | 90 to 100 degrees max. | 最多90-100华氏度 | 
| 0:12:50.27, | And never leave the tub unsupervised. | 千万别将宝宝一个人放在澡盆里 | 
| 0:12:55.70, | Is there something you two want to share with the class? | 你们有什么好笑的事要跟全班人分享一下吗 | 
| 0:12:58.21, | No. It's dirty. | 没有 是下流的笑话 | 
| 0:13:00.45, | Excuse me. We're trying to learn here. | 不好意思 你们不学我们还想学呢 | 
| 0:13:02.91, | Don't worry so much. Babies are tougher than you think. | 别太担心 宝宝们是很强悍的 | 
| 0:13:06.88, | When I was 5 years old, my babysitter was a goat. | 我5岁的时候 我的保姆是只山羊 | 
| 0:13:09.88, | What? | 什么 | 
| 0:13:10.77, | Ay, please. You know about Lupe. | 别惊讶 我跟你说过洛佩的啊 | 
| 0:13:12.56, | You never said she was a goat. | 你从来没说她是只山羊 | 
| 0:13:13.70, | You know, it's great that we have | 其实 班里能有一对 | 
| 0:13:14.87, | a couple of experienced parents in the class. | 有经验的父母是件好事 | 
| 0:13:18.13, | Perhaps you can share some of your wisdom with the rest of us. | 或许你们可以和大家分享一下你们的育儿经 | 
| 0:13:21.60, | Absolutely. It's not rocket science. | 必须的 又不是造火箭那种高科技 | 
| 0:13:23.46, | It's babies. They're hungry, you feed 'em. | 不就是宝宝嘛 饿了 你就喂 | 
| 0:13:25.22, | They're teething, you give 'em some scotch. | 他们出牙的时候 就喂他们喝苏格兰酒 | 
| 0:13:26.76, | Scotch? | 苏格兰酒 | 
| 0:13:27.32, | Really? Are you serious? | 真的吗 当真吗 | 
| 0:13:28.93, | What? | 怎么了 | 
| 0:13:30.50, | So we left. | 然后我们就离开了 | 
| 0:13:31.56, | I didn't need a lecture from Mary Poppins. | 我可不需要那个人来教导我 | 
| 0:13:33.72, | And I was suddenly in a mood for a burrito. | 而我突然想去吃玉米煎饼了 | 
| 0:13:43.81, | I'd like admission to your student body. | 请允许我"进入"你学生般的娇嫩身体 | 
| 0:13:46.50, | Oh, my goodness! | 噢 老天啊 | 
| 0:13:47.35, | I am so sorry. I thought you were my wife. | 我很抱歉 我以为你是我妻子 | 
| 0:13:49.05, | What's going on? | 发生什么事了 | 
| 0:13:49.88, | He grabbed me and said-- | 他抓了我 而且说 | 
| 0:13:51.49, | I thought she was my wife. My wife works out a lot. | 我以为你是我老婆 我老婆经常健身的 | 
| 0:13:53.41, | Dad? | 老爸 | 
| 0:13:54.56, | How'd he grab you? | 他怎么抓你的 | 
| 0:13:55.45, | He squeezed my butt. | 他捏了我的屁股 | 
| 0:13:57.58, | He what? | 他什么 | 
| 0:13:58.15, | - Phil! - I thought it was you! | 菲尔-我以为那是你 | 
| 0:14:00.11, | Believe me, sir. I'm a respected realtor. | 相信我 先生 我是个受人尊敬的房产中介 | 
| 0:14:02.07, | This is an innocent mistake. | 我绝对是无心之过 | 
| 0:14:03.16, | Honey, turn around and show him your--your butt. | 亲爱的 转过去 让他看看你的屁股 | 
| 0:14:04.91, | - It--it's uncanny. - Dad. | 简直让人不可思议-爸 | 
| 0:14:06.49, | I am very normal. Please do not judge me based on them. | 我很正常的 千万别认为上梁不正下梁歪 | 
| 0:14:09.17, | Are those your my little pony sheets? | 那是你的小马床单吗 | 
| 0:14:10.80, | What? No! | 什么 不 | 
| 0:14:12.77, | I ordered them online. | 我在网上淘的 | 
| 0:14:14.01, | They must've sent the wrong ones. I'm very sorry. | 肯定是发错了图案 非常抱歉 | 
| 0:14:15.31, | That's what was in the box. | 直接从箱子里拿出来的 | 
| 0:14:19.80, | Okay. | 好吧 | 
| 0:14:20.78, | Uh, for the record, I am a respected realtor. | 我澄清下 我是个受人尊敬的房产中介 | 
| 0:14:24.35, | Those are not my condoms. | 那些不是我的安全套 | 
| 0:14:26.02, | She bought 'em. | 她买的 | 
| 0:14:27.31, | Oh, my god. | 我的天 | 
| 0:14:28.26, | Apparently, that's what people do these days-- | 很显然 如今的家长就会这么做 | 
| 0:14:29.91, | Buy condoms for their kids. | 给自己的孩子买安全套 | 
| 0:14:31.74, | When I went to college, | 我上大学的时候 | 
| 0:14:32.31, | my parents bought me a bicycle helmet. | 我爸妈给我买的是单车安全头盔 | 
| 0:14:33.78, | That was their idea of safety. | 那是他们对安全的概念 | 
| 0:14:35.31, | Certainly didn't need condoms. | 显然不需要安全套 | 
| 0:14:36.44, | Mm, not if you were wearing | 你戴着单车安全头盔 | 
| 0:14:37.29, | a bike helmet around campus, you didn't. Am I right? | 在校园里溜达当然用不上安全套了 对吗 | 
| 0:14:41.56, | Why don't we let you guys finish, | 你们先收拾好吧 | 
| 0:14:43.40, | and we'll come back later? | 我们等下再来 | 
| 0:14:45.04, | Okay. | 好的 | 
| 0:14:46.08, | Yeah. | 就这样 | 
| 0:14:46.63, | Yep. | 好 | 
| 0:14:47.92, | Yeah, that sounds good. | 好 这主意好 | 
| 0:14:49.54, | See you on parents weekend! | 周末家长活动时见啦 | 
| 0:14:52.67, | They seem nice. | 他们看起来不错哦 | 
| 0:14:54.40, | - Guys, I-- - I know. I know. | -爸妈 我 -我知道 我知道 | 
| 0:14:55.80, | Look, we need to reorganize a little. | 我们需要重新整理下 | 
| 0:14:57.30, | Your dad will go out and get us some new sheets. | 你爸出去买新的床单 | 
| 0:14:59.40, | You and I can hang up all the pictures on the walls. | 我们可以把照片挂在墙上 | 
| 0:15:01.78, | You know what? I think it's best if you guys get going. | 知道吗 我觉得你们最好还是离开 | 
| 0:15:04.91, | But we--we wanted to help you, sweetie. | 但我们想帮你 亲爱的 | 
| 0:15:06.64, | No, I got it. | 不 我可以的 | 
| 0:15:07.85, | W-what if you wanna move the furniture around? | 如果你想把家具挪个地方呢 | 
| 0:15:09.54, | And we were gonna take you to dinner before we left. | 我们想在离开前带你去吃晚餐 | 
| 0:15:11.52, | I like the furniture where it is, and I'm not hungry. | 我喜欢家具现在的摆放位置 而且我也不饿 | 
| 0:15:14.04, | So... | 所以... | 
| 0:15:15.17, | Okay.-Okay. | 好的-好吧 | 
| 0:15:16.55, | Um, well, uh, before we leave, | 那个 在我们离开前 | 
| 0:15:18.82, | I wanted to give you a little present. | 我要送你一样小礼物 | 
| 0:15:20.33, | It's actually not a little present. | 其实不是什么小礼物 | 
| 0:15:21.68, | It's probably the best present you're ever gonna get. | 有可能是你这辈子收到的最好礼物 | 
| 0:15:24.89, | - It's a collection of all the things I've learned-- - Thanks. | 这是我的人生感悟精选集-多谢 | 
| 0:15:29.56, | Attention. | 请注意 | 
| 0:15:30.36, | Dorm meeting in the common room. | 宿舍会议在公共休息室举行 | 
| 0:15:31.98, | Okay, so... | 好啦 | 
| 0:15:33.54, | I better go. | 我要去开会了 | 
| 0:15:34.88, | - I know. - Okay. | 我知道-去吧 | 
| 0:15:35.75, | Okay, come here. That's my girl. | 过来抱抱 我的宝贝女儿 | 
| 0:15:38.95, | - Let me get in there. - Okay. | 给老爸抱下-好 | 
| 0:15:40.86, | - All right. - Bye! | 好啦-拜 | 
| 0:15:42.19, | Bye. | 拜 | 
| 0:15:45.92, | The most amazing things that can happen to a human being | 作为人来说可以遇到的最美妙的事情 | 
| 0:15:49.39, | will happen to you | 你也会遇到 | 
| 0:15:50.97, | if you just lower your expectations." | 只要你降低期望值 | 
| 0:15:55.37, | Oh, they've got something over the hole. | 他们把锁孔也挡住了 | 
| 0:15:57.43, | - Lily! - Connor! | 莉莉-康纳 | 
| 0:15:59.38, | We can't see anything from outside. | 从外面什么也看不见 | 
| 0:16:00.65, | The curtains are closed. | 窗帘关上了 | 
| 0:16:02.67, | Open up, Connor! We'll let you have a hot dog! | 开门 康纳 开门了就给你吃热狗 | 
| 0:16:05.71, | What if something happened to them? | 如果他们出了事怎么办 | 
| 0:16:07.11, | What kind of hazards do you keep in there? | 里面有没有什么危险物品 | 
| 0:16:08.73, | Well, let's see. That's where we keep our gun collection, | 我想想 我们在里面放着枪支收藏 | 
| 0:16:10.53, | our abandoned refrigerator, | 我们家的废弃冰箱 | 
| 0:16:11.73, | and our chocolate-covered hypodermic needles. | 还有涂满巧克力的皮下注射针 | 
| 0:16:13.20, | Why are gay men always so sarcastic? | 为什么基佬说话总是冷嘲热讽的 | 
| 0:16:14.93, | It's my coping mechanism! | 那是我的应对机制 | 
| 0:16:16.04, | Okay, that's it! | 够了 | 
| 0:16:17.45, | Lily, Connor, if you can hear me, | 莉莉 康纳 如果你们能听到 | 
| 0:16:20.02, | back away from the door. I'm gonna break it down. | 离门远一点 我要撞门了 | 
| 0:16:22.01, | I'll help you. | 我来帮你 | 
| 0:16:22.59, | I don't want Connor to go! | 我不要康纳走 | 
| 0:16:24.72, | I wanna stay! | 我要留下 | 
| 0:16:26.12, | Oh, thank god they're alive! | 谢天谢地他们还活着 | 
| 0:16:27.66, | I love him! | 我爱他 | 
| 0:16:28.73, | No, you love the idea of him. Now open this door, sweetie. | 不 你只是喜欢这个想法 快开门 宝贝 | 
| 0:16:32.31, | Can we really have hot dogs? | 我们真的可以吃热狗吗 | 
| 0:16:34.39, | Yes, we promise. | 是的 我保证 | 
| 0:16:38.09, | Oh! Come here, sweetheart. | 快过来 小甜心 | 
| 0:16:39.62, | If you ask me... | 要我说 | 
| 0:16:40.74, | Sometimes we get so hang up on our differences. | 有时候我们太过关注我们的差异 | 
| 0:16:43.43, | We forget there's one thing that we have in common. | 我们忘记了彼此最大的共同点 | 
| 0:16:45.70, | When it comes to the safety and well-being of our children, | 当涉及到我们孩子的安全与幸福时 | 
| 0:16:48.81, | we're all a little bit nuts. | 我们都会抓狂 | 
| 0:16:52.14, | You have dainty little hands, just like your daughter. | 你的纤纤小玉手和你的女儿一样 | 
| 0:16:54.63, | You have boots like my dad. | 你的大脚丫子跟我爸一样 | 
| 0:16:57.99, | I'm not saying that the goat put me to sleep or brushed my teeth. | 我又没说那只山羊哄我睡觉给我刷牙 | 
| 0:17:01.86, | It just stayed outside my bedroom window | 它只是待在我的卧室窗户外面 | 
| 0:17:04.11, | and scared all the strangers away. | 吓跑所有的陌生人 | 
| 0:17:05.81, | Well, I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little disappointed. | 我不打算说谎 我有点失望 | 
| 0:17:07.86, | Hey, kid! | 嘿 孩子 | 
| 0:17:09.13, | Jay, mom, how was class? | 杰 妈 课上得怎么样 | 
| 0:17:11.42, | It was great. It was very educating and-- | 非常棒 非常有教育意义 | 
| 0:17:14.33, | And now we know everything about the baby, no? | 现在我们了解了关于宝宝的一切 对吗 | 
| 0:17:17.70, | Interesting, because your teacher called, | 有意思 因为你们的老师打电话来 | 
| 0:17:20.09, | and you forgot your sunglasses when you left... | 你离开时忘了拿太阳镜 | 
| 0:17:22.49, | Three hours early. | 三小时之前 | 
| 0:17:25.04, | Ay, Manny, don't be mad. | 曼尼 别生气 | 
| 0:17:26.25, | I'm not mad. Just disappointed. | 我没生气 只是失望而已 | 
| 0:17:29.32, | I hate this. I prefer when he screams. | 我讨厌这样 他尖叫我还好受些 | 
| 0:17:31.64, | Manny, it's no big deal. | 曼尼 没什么大不了的 | 
| 0:17:33.19, | They weren't telling us anything we didn't already know. | 他们教的我们都已经知道了 | 
| 0:17:35.54, | We're going to have a baby. | 马上就有宝宝要出世了 | 
| 0:17:36.87, | Am I the only one who's terrified? | 难道只有我一个人害怕吗 | 
| 0:17:38.46, | But why? | 为什么呢 | 
| 0:17:40.20, | Why are you so terrified? | 你为什么这么害怕呢 | 
| 0:17:42.36, | What if it doesn't know not to pick up knives | 如果宝宝不知道不该拿刀 | 
| 0:17:44.20, | or stick its finger in an electric socket? | 或是把手指插进了电插孔怎么办 | 
| 0:17:46.19, | You were pretty lax, mom. | 你是个很马虎的人 妈 | 
| 0:17:47.75, | I was the one who told you | 是我告诉你 | 
| 0:17:48.82, | to turn the pot handles towards the stove | 把水壶手柄转向炉子 | 
| 0:17:50.27, | so I couldn't reach them. | 这样我就够不着了 | 
| 0:17:51.23, | Manny, I didn't worry about those things | 曼尼 我不操心这些事情 | 
| 0:17:53.07, | because you worried for the both of us. | 因为有你替我们两个操心 | 
| 0:17:55.57, | What if this baby doesn't think things through? | 如果这个宝宝考虑事情不周全呢 | 
| 0:17:57.63, | It's part Jay. | 有杰的遗传在里面 | 
| 0:17:58.54, | No offense taken. | 就当你没伤到我吧 | 
| 0:18:00.97, | If the baby's different, we'll be different. | 如果宝宝和你不一样 那我们的表现也会不一样 | 
| 0:18:03.47, | Hey. | 听我说 | 
| 0:18:05.43, | When you were growing up, | 你成长的时候 | 
| 0:18:06.42, | you had to be the man of the house and the kid. | 必须身兼家里的顶梁柱与小孩两个角色 | 
| 0:18:08.71, | Now I'm here. You just have to be the kid. | 现在有我 你只要做小孩就行了 | 
| 0:18:11.25, | I'm not gonna let anything happen to the baby, | 我不会让宝宝出任何事 | 
| 0:18:13.48, | just like I'm not ever gonna let anything happen to you. | 就好像我永远不会让你出任何事一样 | 
| 0:18:16.72, | Okay? | 好吗 | 
| 0:18:18.14, | Okay. That is a load off. | 好吧 真是松了口气 | 
| 0:18:21.13, | Although you forgot to pick me up last week after tango class. | 不过上周探戈课结束后 你们可是忘了接我 | 
| 0:18:24.50, | We didn't forget. We were just ten minutes late. | 我们没忘 我们只是迟了十分钟 | 
| 0:18:26.94, | Ten minutes is a long time in a sketchy neighborhood. | 在不安全社区十分钟可是一段漫长的时间 | 
| 0:18:28.83, | Please. It was between a gymboree | 得了 教室旁边是"金宝贝早教中心" | 
| 0:18:30.19, | and a pottery barn. | 和"陶瓷大谷仓" | 
| 0:18:32.08, | Dance until your feet hurt. | 舞到脚痛 | 
| 0:18:34.54, | Sing until your lungs hurt. | 唱到肺痛 | 
| 0:18:37.32, | Act until you're william hurt." | 演到莎翁附体 心痛无比 | 
| 0:18:44.26, | How you doing? Are you okay? | 你怎么样 还好吗 | 
| 0:18:46.35, | Yeah. No, I'm... | 还好 我... | 
| 0:18:48.02, | I'm--I'm--I'm good. You? | 我很好 你呢 | 
| 0:18:49.55, | Fine. Yeah. | 我还好 没事 | 
| 0:18:51.37, | Great. | 很好 | 
| 0:19:04.47, | Take a lesson from parakeets. | 要有鹦鹉学舌的精神 | 
| 0:19:06.82, | If you're ever feeling lonely, | 如果你感觉孤单 | 
| 0:19:08.84, | Just eat in front of a mirror." | 就在镜子前吃饭吧 | 
| 0:19:12.17, | Never be afraid to reach for the stars, | 永远不要害怕摘星星 | 
| 0:19:14.73, | because even if you fall, | 因为就算你跌下来 | 
| 0:19:16.48, | [parachute降落伞 音近parent父母] | |
| 0:19:16.48, | you'll always be wearing a parent-chute." | 你永远有"父母牌降落伞"防身 | 
| 0:19:19.63, | TM." | 注册专利 | 
| 0:19:24.28, | Haley. Hi, honey. You okay? | 海莉 亲爱的 你好吗 | 
| 0:19:27.22, | Yeah. | 很好 | 
| 0:19:29.06, | Where are you guys? | 你们在哪里 | 
| 0:19:29.98, | Almost home, honey. | 快到家了 宝贝 | 
| 0:19:31.59, | Dad, I really like that book. | 爸 我真的很喜欢那本书 | 
| 0:19:33.74, | You do? | 真的吗 | 
| 0:19:35.04, | Sweetheart, is everything okay? | 小甜心 一切都好吗 | 
| 0:19:37.31, | Yeah, I just wanted to say thank you for everything, | 很好 我只是想感谢你们所做的一切 | 
| 0:19:41.24, | you know, today and stuff. | 今天 还有以前的一切 | 
| 0:19:46.18, | O-of course. | 客气什么 | 
| 0:19:46.93, | - Sure. - Of course. If--if you need anything at all... | 应该的-不用谢 如果你有任何的需要 | 
| 0:19:48.89, | You just call us. | 打电话给我们就行 | 
| 0:19:50.35, | I'll probably need some more condoms soon. | 我可能很快需要更多的安全套 | 
| 0:19:52.11, | Not funny. | 不好笑 | 
| 0:19:53.52, | I'm sending you some care bear sheets. | 我会给你寄爱心熊床单过去 | 
| 0:19:55.65, | Anyway, | 总之 | 
| 0:19:57.09, | I should probably get going. We have orientation at 7:00 a.m. | 我得挂了 明早7点有新生入学会 | 
| 0:20:00.22, | G-good luck with that, sweetie. | 祝你好运 宝贝 | 
| 0:20:03.75, | I love you, guys. | 我爱你们 | 
| 0:20:06.06, | We love you, too, honey. | 我们也爱你 亲爱的 | 
| 0:20:08.37, | So, so much. | 非常爱 | 
| 0:20:09.95, | Bye. | 拜 | 
| 0:20:11.16, | Bye, Haley. | 拜 海莉 | 
| 0:20:13.60, | I'll miss you. | 我会想你们的 | 
| 0:20:29.33, | Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed. | 结婚要找看起来性感与失望并存的人 | 
| 0:20:34.48, | See? | 明白不 | 
| 0:20:36.21, | Older black ladies make the best iced tea. | 年老的黑人女性做的冰茶最好喝 | 
| 0:20:41.31, | Success is 1% inspiration, | 成功来自于1%的灵感 | 
| 0:20:43.86, | 98% perspiration, | 98%的努力 | 
| 0:20:46.72, | and 2% attention to detail." | 以及2%对细节的注意 | 
| 0:20:49.51, | You can tell a lot about a person from his biography. | 通过一个人的自传 你可以很好地了解他 | 
| 0:20:55.16, | Watch a sunrise at least once a day. | 一天至少看一次日出 | 
| 0:20:59.25, | If you love something, set it free, | 如果你爱着什么 给它自由 | 
| 0:21:01.62, | unless it's a tiger." | 除非它是只老虎 | 
| 0:21:04.37, | If you're ever in jam, | 如果你碰到塞车 | 
| 0:21:05.85, | a crayon scrunched up under your nose | 两嘴嘟起在鼻子下夹支蜡笔 | 
| 0:21:07.53, | makes a good pretend mustache." | 就是一撇完美的假胡子 | 
| 0:21:10.27, | When life gives you lemonade, | 生活给了你甜甜的柠檬水 | 
| 0:21:10.27, | [原文是生活给了你酸柠檬 你就把它变成柠檬水 | 意为不怕困难苦中作甜] | 
| 0:21:12.47, | make lemons. | 你就把它变成酸酸的柠檬 | 
| 0:21:13.78, | Life will be all like, 'what?!'" | 生活就会大吃一惊说 你搞毛啊 |