双语|现代散文:叶梦 今夜，我是你的新娘

I'm Your Bride Tonight 今夜，我是你的新娘

◎ Ye Meng ◎ 叶梦

Yesterday you said to me，“Let's get married！”That's something you've said for the first time in twelve years.

昨天你对我说：“我们结婚吧！”十二年来，你第一次说出这句话。

And you added before I could reply，“How about tomorrow！I can't wait any longer，not even a single day．Let's get married tomorrow.”

不容我回答，你接着说：明天吧!我一天也不能等下去了。明天我们结婚——

So it was all set．There was little time left for me to weigh and consider.

已经决定了，没有太多的时间容我考虑，容我犹豫。

The irreversible was to become a fait accompli in a little more than twenty hours.

这个不可逆转的事实，只需二十多个小时，就要变成现实。

All would be very simple．No wedding banquet or ceremony．No need to notify friends and relatives．All I had to do was inform my parents，and put on brand-new bed-clothes.

一切都是很简单的。不需要酒宴和仪式，不需要通知任何亲友，只需禀告父母，只需要把床铺换上全新的被褥。

To me，marriage is a very solemn matter in one's life and therefore it is absolutely unnecessary to invite a great many people to the wedding，both related and unrelated，and announce to them our matrimony with cigarettes，wine and sweets like at a news briefing，so that they can indulge in wining，expressing good wishes，chatting about the bride's appearance and what not.

我以为结婚是个人生命史上十分隆重的事件，我完全没有必要把很多相干与不相干的人请来，像召开“新闻发布会”一样在烟酒糖果之间宣布我们的结合，在漫天酒气中让人来祝贺来摆布来评头品足。

I'm not vain．I don't want to go in for pomp and celebrate our nuptials in a big way．I don't seek the approval of anyone，nor do I try to buy over those holding conventional views on marriage.

我没有虚荣心，我不需要显摆不需要张扬，我不需要任何人认可，也不需要贿赂传统的舆论。

Marriage is our personal business．We are fully entitled to go about it in a way of our own choice，unconventional as it may be.

结婚是我们个人的事，我们完全有权利选择与常规不同的形式。

I don't expect the presence of many guests at my wedding because tranquility plus an air of mystery is what I design for this once-in-a-lifetime sacred ceremony.

我不需要任何人参加我的婚礼，安谧和神秘的氛围正是我为这种神圣的生命仪式所作的设计。

My life，at the end of the thirty-five years，is going to take on a new pattern．It will mark the end of the old phase of my life and the beginning of the new.

三十五年的生命将要进入另一种样式，三十五的后面需要打一个句号，需要刻一块里程碑。

On the last day of my virginity，I stayed indoors alone，quietly decorating my wedding chamber．I diverted my mind from a medley of thoughts by keeping my hands busy with this and that.

属于我处女的最后一个白天是我一个人静静地待在房里，我悄悄地布置着我的新房，我用我的双手不停地做这做那，以分散我纷乱的思绪。

A joyful feeling came over me stealthily，together with fear and worry，and helpless sorrow too.

喜悦悄悄地在身体里渗透，与之俱来的更多的是恐惧和忧虑，也有一种不可挽回的悲哀。

I felt like a pale canvas soon to be daubed with a multicoloured pattern．I felt sad as if I were faced with a big disaster.

我好像是一块苍白的画布，将要被涂上各种颜色的图案，我不无痛惜地感觉，好像面临一种破坏性的灾难。

It was a long day，long enough for me to muse over the past thirty-five years．The beautiful dreams of romance in early girlhood were vague and far off．But the bitter experience of courting in later days were still clear before my eyes．Beautiful or bitter，both are of another day．And I'll never regret at all.

这一个白天真是漫长，让我有足够的时间回顾三十五年的过去。少女时芬芳浪漫的憧憬已经离我模糊而遥远，青年时期追求的苦涩却历历在目，不管是芬芳还是苦涩，都要在这里打一个句号，我从不后悔。

Correct or not，the decision is made and allows of no hesitation．I'll go ahead resolutely to live a new life.

不管我的选择是否正确，已不容我再作犹豫，我将面对新的生活义无反顾地走过去。

The unshirkable night came at last.

不容推却的那个夜终于姗姗来迟。

An oppressive silence reigned in the wedding chamber．Suddenly，there broke out outside a deafening sound of gongs and drums amidst loud music．Firecrackers and fireworks sent the dark night blazing with colour.

新房里有一种难耐的宁静。屋外突然锣鼓喧天，鼓乐齐鸣，爆竹和焰火把黑夜涂抹得五彩斑斓。

Was the music for us？

这是为我们奏起的鼓乐么？

The night finally relapsed into silence．The music was no more．All was quiet．The light was switched off，leaving two red candles burning away in the room.

夜终于静下去，鼓乐沉没了，一切声响都已停歇。电灯已经关掉，新房里燃着两支红烛。

I sat by the red candles.

我坐在红烛之下。

You sat in an armchair in the drawing room.

你坐在客厅的沙发上。

I suddenly wished we would both remain permanently where we were as if separated by a ravine between us.

我突然希望我们之间隔河隔渡似的对峙永远下去。

Just then you began to move towards me.

这时，你向我走过来。

I listened to your heavy steps with a throbbing heart.

你的脚步很重很重，一步一步踏在我紧绷的心弦上。

You came nearer and nearer.

你离我越来越近了。

My limbs went ice-cold when suddenly there came over me the presage of coming ravages．I uttered abruptly from my heart.“I'm done for.”

突然，我感到我的肢体变得冰一样凉，一种被破坏的恐怖突然袭击了我，我的心里突然喊出这样一句：这下完了。

I could not escape becoming a real woman.

我已经无法回避，我将要变成一个真正的女人了。

As you came to my side，I was afraid to look at you like you were a stranger.

你已经走到我的身边来了，我突然觉得你像陌生人一样不敢看你。

The wedding chamber was permeated with the aroma and smoke of the red candles.

红烛吐出的烛香和烟气在封闭的新房里弥漫。

“I'm your bride tonight！”It took me quite a long while to utter these words from the bottom of my heart，though with a touch of grief.

“今夜，我是你的新娘啊!”很久很久，我的心里哀哀地吐出这样一句来。

《今夜，我是你的新娘》描述受传统观念束缚的大龄女子面临婚姻时的矛盾心态，细致入微，饶有风趣。作者是当代知名散文家叶梦，女，原名熊梦云，湖南益阳人。她著有多部散文集，如《小溪的梦》、《湘西寻梦》、《灵魂的劫数》、《遍地巫风》等等。