人生不设限·自恋不叫作爱自己
The psychiatrist and author Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said people are like stained-glass windows: "They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." To live without limits and especially to survive the darkness of depression, drug addiction, alcoholism, or any major challenge, you must switch on that light within. You must believe in your own beauty and value as someone who can make a difference, someone who matters.
找到自己的目的，是活出没有限制的人生的第一步。而即使面对困难，依然对未来抱持希望，对生命的各种可能性怀抱信心，则会让你继续向目标迈进。但要实现梦想，你内心深处必须相信自己值得拥有成功与幸福：你必须爱自己，就像上帝爱所有对自己忠实的人一样。
Finding your purpose is the first important step to living a life without limits. Maintaining hope for the future and faith in the possibilities even in difficult times will keep you moving toward that goal. But to be fulfilled, you must know in your heart that you are worthy of success and happiness. You must love yourself, just as God loves all who are faithful.
我有个朋友对自己很满意，总是很平和，而且热情地发展自己的天赋，所以时时散发出美好的感受。我喜欢跟他在一起，每个人都喜欢，为什么?因为他由内在发光。他喜欢自己，但不会让人觉得“你真转”的那种喜欢;他相信自己是个蒙福的人，即使事情不顺心，即使他像你我一样苦苦挣扎时，依然如此。
I have a friend who is so comfortable with himself, so at peace and enthused about developing his gifts, that he just seems to radiate good feelings. I love being with him. Everyone loves being with him. Why? Because he shines from within. He loves himself, but not in a "you're so vain" way; he accepts himself as blessed, even when events don't go his way, even though he struggles just like you and me.
你一定认识这种会散发愉悦气息的人，就像你可能也会认识完全相反的人，他的苦毒和自我厌恶让每个人都想逃开。假如不接受自己，不但会导致自我毁灭，还会被孤立。
I'm sure you know people who give off that same comfortable vibe, just as you probably know the opposite sort of person whose bitterness and self-loathing drive everyone away. If you don't accept yourself, it not only leads to self-destruction, it leads to isolation.
如果你没有从内在发光，可能是因为你仰赖别人给你肯定、给你信心、让你觉得自己被赏识。但这条路一定会走向失望，因为你必须先接受自己才行。衡量你身为人的美好与价值唯一的基准，在你的内在。
If you don't shine from within, it may be because you rely on others to validate you, to give you confidence, and to make you feel appreciated. But that is a sure road to disappointment because you must accept yourself first. The only important measure of your beauty and value as a person should be the one that comes from within.
我知道说的比做的简单，我自己也有过挣扎。由于父母是基督徒，我从小就被教导耶稣爱我，而我是上帝按他计划所造的完美创作。不过，只要某个流鼻涕的小鬼向我冲过来，对我大叫“你是怪物”，父母以《圣经》为内容对我所作的教诲，以及家人为了鼓励我所作的一切努力，马上就垮了。
I know, easy to say, tough to do. I've struggled with this too. As the child of Christian parents, I'd always been taught that Jesus loved me and that I was created perfectly according to His plan. Of course, all my parents' Bible teachings and all my family's efforts to lift me up came crashing down as soon as one snotty little kid ran up to me and screamed, "You're a freak!"
生命可能会很残酷。人们也许是不为他人着想，或者单纯就是坏，所以你必须向内寻求力量。如果内在力量不行，你总是可以向上仰望上帝，他是力量与爱的终极源头。
Life can be cruel. People can be thoughtless or just plain mean. So you must be able to look inside for strength, and when that inner strength fails, you can always look above, to God, the ultimate source of strength and love.
接纳自己与爱自己非常重要，不过，这两个概念近来却常常被误解。你应该因为自己反映了上帝的爱，因为自己来到这个世界是要做出独特贡献而爱自己。有太多青少年和成年人接受了一个比较肤浅的含义，认为接纳自己与爱自己就是自恋或自我耽溺，这是因为实境秀、电影、播客和网络影片不断地推销对美貌与名流的崇拜。你在看那些节目时，很容易就会忘了人生有比美貌、奢华生活和勾搭上某人更重要的目的。无怪乎愈来愈多名流出现在戒毒中心而不是教会，他们中有太多人崇拜的是错误的虚荣、骄傲与放纵之神。
Self-acceptance and self-love are important but often misunderstood concepts these days. You should love yourself as a reflection of God's love and as someone put on this earth to make a unique contribution. Too many teens and adults settle for a more superficial meaning when they buy into the extremes of narcissism and self-indulgence. This is due, in no little part, to the cult of beauty and celebrity promoted on reality shows, movies, podcasts, and videos. When you watch those shows, it is easy to forget that life has a greater purpose than looking good, living in luxury, and hooking up. No wonder more celebrities are in rehab than in church. Too many of them worship the false gods of vanity, pride, and lust.
我无法想象过去有哪个时代像现在一样，被满满的谎言包围。我们成天被这样的讯息轰炸：你必须有某种外形、某种车子、某种生活形态，人生才算圆满、成功，才会有人爱你、欣赏你。许多人认为拍色情影片是通往名声、财富和成就的捷径，这种现象让我们的文化岌岌可危。
I can't imagine that any previous generation has been lied to as much as the present ones. We are continually bombarded with messages that we need to have a certain look, a certain car, and a certain lifestyle in order to be fulfilled, loved, appreciated, or considered successful. We've come to a dangerous point in our culture when being in a sexvideo is considered a path to fame, fortune, and fulfillment.
如果狗仔队有兴趣的对象是努力求知，获取更高学历的大学生，或是把药品和希望带到贫困地区的宣教士，而不是去跟踪那些前科累累、身上布满针孔、多次进出戒毒中心的人，你觉得这样是不是好多了?但这个世界还没有彻底迷失，因为我看到许多男女老少去参加宗教仪式和节庆，通过学习爱邻舍来寻求满足;我看过青少年和成年人利用假期，到第三世界国家帮人盖房子，到北美一些贫困地区服务有需要的人。所以，并非每个人都沉迷于整形、抽脂减肥和LV包包。
Don't you think this would be a better world if the paparazzi followed college graduates with advanced degrees, or missionaries bringing medicine and hope to the poor and needy, instead of stalking rehab dropouts with rap sheets and needle scars? But all is not lost. I've seen huge throngs of people, young and old, attend religious ceremonies and festivals of praise, seeking contentment by learning to love their neighbor. I've watched teens and adults spend their vacations building homes in Third World countries and serving the needy in impoverished areas of North America. Not everyone is obsessed with plastic surgery, liposuction, and Louis Vuitton bags.
当你被物质事物和表相的美丽困住，当你让别人决定你的价值时，你就是过度地自我放弃，也浪费了你所领受的福分。有个叫克莉丝蒂的女孩在看过我的DVD之后，写信给我：“你让我明白，如果不爱自己，别人爱你又有何意义!我大约一年前见过你，这是第二次，我觉得应该让你知道你对我的影响。你教会我要为自己站起来、要爱自己本来的样子、要照我想要的方式生活……现在，我对自己的感受已经改变了，男友也注意到我的大转变，他非常感谢你。以前他一直很怕我有一天会做傻事，会自杀，但现在我已经改变，人生快乐很多了!”
When you get caught up in material goods and surface beauty, and when you let other people determine your value, you give up too much of yourself and risk letting your blessings go to waste. After watching my DVD, Kristy wrote to me: "You made me realize what's the point of having someone love you if you don't love yourself? I saw you over a year ago and again today. I realized I need to tell you what you have done for me. You have taught me to stand up for myself, love myself for who I am, and just live my life the way I want to live it . . . Oh by the way, now that I have changed the way I feel about myself, my boyfriend has noticed a big difference in me, and he is grateful to you. He was always scared for me, afraid I might do something stupid one day and kill myself. But now I have changed, and my life is so much happier!"
