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5种方法帮助你有效地战胜对拒绝的恐惧

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2020年09月12日

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5 ways to help you win your fear of rejection effectively

5种方法帮助你有效地战胜对拒绝的恐惧

In fact, it can be difficult to find a way to overcome this fear, but positive thinking can be one of the ways to ease the rejection.

事实上,要找到克服这种恐惧的方法是很困难的,但是积极的思考可以成为缓解被拒绝的一种方法。

Most of us want to connect with and become close to someone we care about. So, feeling rejected by the people you love is something no one wants. That really is an uncomfortable feeling.

我们大多数人都想和我们关心的人联系,变得亲近。所以,被你爱的人拒绝是没有人想要的。这真是一种不舒服的感觉。

The pain of rejection can cause a pretty deep "cut" that hurts you for a long time. The truth is that when it's turned down, the areas of the brain that get excited are the same as when you experience physical pain. So if you've tasted them once or more, your brain will remember the pain they cause and may unconsciously develop a vague fear of rejection.

被拒绝的痛苦会给你带来相当深的“伤口”,会伤害你很长一段时间。事实是,当它被关闭时,大脑中兴奋的区域和你经历身体疼痛时是一样的。因此,如果你经历过一次或多次,你的大脑会记住它们造成的痛苦,并可能无意识地产生一种对拒绝的模糊恐惧。

Fear of rejection can make you shy and prevent you from taking risks in order to achieve great life goals. However, you can completely overcome them by changing your mindset and attitude. Try reading through the tips below!

害怕被拒绝会让你变得害羞,让你不敢为了实现伟大的人生目标而冒险。然而,你可以通过改变你的心态和态度来完全克服它们。看看下面的小贴士吧!

5 tips to get rid of your fear of being rejected

5个让你摆脱被拒绝恐惧的方法

1. Remember that you are not the only one rejected

记住,你不是唯一被拒绝的人

It is very common to be rejected by someone and the fear of rejection is common in many people. Surely most of us have experienced rejection a few times in our lives, whether it be a small thing or a really big thing.

被别人拒绝是很常见的,害怕被拒绝的恐惧在很多人身上都很常见。当然,我们大多数人在生活中都经历过几次拒绝,不管是小事还是大事。

Of course, no one likes things going against your wishes, but you should also understand that not everything will follow the trajectory you have outlined for them.

当然,没有人喜欢违背意愿的事情,但你也应该明白,并不是所有事情都将按照你为他们勾勒的轨迹发展。

However, don't let those experiences change the way you hope. Always remind yourself that rejection is a very common thing in life. Everyone will have to deal with this at some point in their life. So, don't let fear of rejection in the past influence your current decisions.

但是,不要让这些经历改变你希望的方式。经常提醒自己,拒绝是生活中很常见的事情。每个人在一生中都会遇到这样的问题。所以,不要让过去对拒绝的恐惧影响你现在的决定。

2. Frankly admit the true feelings

坦诚地承认真实的感受

Whatever the reason for the rejection, it will definitely hurt you, especially if you are sensitive. When the bystanders look in, they may feel you are taking the problem seriously and often advise you to get through with statements like "everything will be fine".

不管被拒绝的原因是什么,它肯定会伤害到你,尤其是如果你很敏感的话。当旁观者看着你时,他们可能会觉得你在认真对待这个问题,并经常建议你说“一切都会好起来的”。

However, in reality, only you can measure the degree of grief as well as the effect of rejection on your own mood. Feelings of rejection are also related to many other emotions, such as confusion and embarrassment.

然而,在现实中,只有你能衡量悲伤的程度以及被拒绝对自己情绪的影响。被拒绝的感觉也与许多其他情绪有关,比如困惑和尴尬。

Remember, no one can accurately describe the feelings you will experience when rejection, except yourself. Therefore, frankly acknowledge your feelings, share them with loved ones if possible, and find ways to cope and control them.

记住,除了你自己,没有人能准确地描述你被拒绝时的感受。因此,坦诚地承认你的感受,如果可能的话,与你所爱的人分享,并找到处理和控制它们的方法。

3. Don't forget your own values

不要忘记自己的价值

Rejection can be very intimidating when you take it too seriously. For example, you have been dating for a while and suddenly the other person no longer shows any interest or care. Then, you worry that you may have done something that made them feel bored and do not want to continue the relationship. However, sometimes the problem is not with you, but with both of them or sometimes just the other person.

如果你太认真,拒绝可能会让你感到害怕。例如,你们已经约会了一段时间,突然对方不再表现出任何兴趣或关心。然后,你担心你可能做了什么让他们感到无聊,不想继续你们的关系。然而,有时候问题并不在你自己身上,而是在两人身上,或者有时候只是对方的问题。

Building your self-esteem and self-worth helps you to believe that you are absolutely worthy of love. This helps to alleviate the fear of rejection and continue your quest for love.

建立自尊和自我价值会让你相信自己绝对值得被爱。这有助于减轻对拒绝的恐惧,并继续你对爱的追求。

4. Maintain a personal opinion

保持个人观点

If you are a sensitive person and are worried about everything, you often think things in a negative way. Suppose, you do not pass the university exam as you like and start to worry because you may fail all the programs that you apply for. This makes you have to practice to try again next year.

如果你是一个敏感的人,对任何事情都很担心,你经常以消极的方式思考事情。假设,你没有通过你喜欢的大学考试,并开始担心,因为你申请的所有项目可能不及格。这让你不得不练习明年再试一次。

Next, you think that maybe next year you will fail again. In the future, where your career future will be, which company will accept you without a degree, then your economy will be unstable. You cannot buy a house, build a home ...

下一年,你可能又会失败。在未来,你的职业前景是什么,哪家公司会接受没有学位的你,你的经济就会不稳定。你不能买房子,组建家庭…

This cycle of negative thinking is called catastrophizing and of course it's not true at all. Instead of thinking about bad situations and feeling scared, why not hold a strong point of view and belief in yourself, and then develop some backup plans to help overcome your fear of self.

这种消极思维的循环被称为灾难化,当然,这根本不是真的。与其想着糟糕的情况,感到害怕,为什么不坚持一个坚定的观点,相信自己,然后制定一些后备计划来帮助克服对自己的恐惧呢?

5. Find out what you are really afraid of when rejected

找出被拒绝时你真正害怕的是什么

Discovering the truths behind your fear of rejection will help you to deal with it. The fear of rejection may be because you don't like feeling lonely and need someone to love.

发现你害怕被拒绝背后的真相会帮助你处理它。害怕被拒绝可能是因为你不喜欢孤独的感觉,需要有人去爱。

If so, instead of finding a partner, why not try to build or strengthen stronger relationships like friends or family? That can help you stop feeling lonely and afraid of rejection. Sometimes, being rejected is no longer scary if you know you still have better relationships.

如果是这样的话,与其找一个伴侣,为什么不试着建立或加强更牢固的关系,比如朋友或家人呢?这可以帮助你不再感到孤独和害怕被拒绝。有时候,如果你知道自己还有更好的关系,被拒绝就不再可怕了。

If the fear of being rejected by an employer comes from not knowing how to have a stable income stream or not having a backup plan for the future, then why not outline a few other suitable paths. your abilities and implement them when you have not found the job you like?

如果害怕被雇主拒绝是因为不知道如何有一个稳定的收入来源,或者对未来没有后备计划,那么为什么不列出一些其他合适的途径呢?当你还没有找到你喜欢的工作时,你的能力如何发挥?


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