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双语译林·小妇人 第三十九章 懒虫劳伦斯 LAZY LAURENCE

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2022年05月06日

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第三十九章 懒虫劳伦斯

劳里去尼斯,只打算住上一个礼拜,却耽搁了个把月。一个人独自闲逛,他已经感到厌倦了。然而,有艾美在一边陪伴,她那熟悉的身影,对于她融入其中的异国景致而言,似乎增添了家乡般的迷人魅力。劳里很怀念往日受到的“宠爱”,又旧梦重温,其乐融融。哪怕过往陌生人纷纷投来羡慕不已的眼神,其快意根本就无法跟家乡姑娘的爱慕相比。艾美绝不会像姐姐们那样宠爱他的,却很乐意看着他,贴近他,因为她觉得,他代表的是亲爱的家人。对于他们,她十分想念,尽管口头上不说。这时,他俩自然地为彼此朝夕相处而感到宽慰,相互之间可谓形影不离,不是一块儿骑马,一块儿散步,就是一块儿跳舞,一块儿闲逛。因为,在尼斯游玩季节,谁都无法老是辛勤工作。不过,他俩表面上在无拘无束地自娱自乐,却在漫不经心地了解对方,形成自己的看法。艾美在朋友的评价里蒸蒸日上,但劳里在她的评价里却下降了。他俩不用开口就心中有数了。艾美总想讨他喜欢,而且旗开得胜,因为,她十分感激劳里给予的许多快乐,经常为他做一点儿事,作为回报。对于这种照顾,母性十足的女人都知道该怎样添上超越言语的风情韵味。劳里却无所用心,看上去随心所欲,任其自然,试图忘掉过去。由于被女人冷落过,他觉得所有的女人都欠他一句友善的话。他非常慷慨,这根本不费吹灰之力,如果她愿意接受,他满可以把尼斯的饰件统统都买来相送。同时,他觉得自己很难改变艾美正在对他形成的看法,也怕看见艾美目光犀利的蓝眼珠,似乎在注视他时带有那种既悲伤又轻蔑的惊诧神情。

“大家今天都去摩纳哥了,但我喜欢待在家里,写几封信。信写好了,我打算去瓦尔罗萨玫瑰谷写生,你去吗?”天空爽朗,中午时分,劳里照例懒洋洋地走进门时,艾美凑上去问道。

“哦,好吧,不过,走这么远的路,太热了吧?”他慢吞吞地答道,刚才户外阳光眩目,阴凉的客厅十分诱人。

“我会去叫一辆四轮马车,巴蒂斯特来驾车。你只管撑阳伞,不用管其他事。手套都不会弄脏的。”艾美说着,讥讽的目光瞥了一眼一尘不染的小山羊皮手套,那是劳里的嗜好。

“那我乐意奉陪。”劳里说完话,便伸出手去接她的写生本。但艾美却将本子夹在腋下,尖刻地说:

“不麻烦了。我不费力,你倒看上去拿不动似的。”

劳里瞠目结舌,见艾美奔下楼,便步履悠闲地跟着走下楼。他们上了马车,劳里一把抓住缰绳。小巴蒂斯特无事可做,只好双臂抱着胳膊,在后车厢睡觉了。

他俩从不吵嘴——艾美很有教养,而眼下劳里懒得吵。不一会儿,他以好奇的神情瞅了一眼艾美的帽檐底下。艾美微笑相答,一团和气,双双上路。

马车沿着蜿蜒曲折的乡间车道轻快地行驶,沿途景色秀丽,令人赏心悦目。不一会儿,一座古老的修道院映入眼帘,飘逸入耳的是修道士们咏诵的那些庄重肃穆的赞美诗。后来,他俩看见一个戴着尖顶帽,光腿穿着木拖鞋的牧羊人。只见那人一个肩上搭着粗布上衣,坐在岩石上吹口哨。一只只山羊有的在岩石间奔跑,有的就躺在他的脚边。没多久,一队脾气温顺的灰色毛驴驮着一筐筐刚收割的青草,从路边经过,青翠草堆上要么坐着一位头戴宽边帽的漂亮姑娘,要么坐着一个老妇人,一路上不停地捻着纺织杆。路边的奇怪石棚子中,跑出不少浅色眼睛、棕色皮肤的孩子,兜售一束束鲜花和一个个带枝叶的橘子。放眼望去,漫山遍野都是枝节粗壮,叶片浓绿的橄榄树。果园里,金色的果实挂满枝头。路旁开满了红色的大银莲花。绿色的山坡和峻峭的山顶后面,白雪皑皑的滨海阿尔卑斯山,在意大利蔚蓝的天空下,高耸入云。

玫瑰谷真是名不虚传,一年四季,气候温暖,玫瑰花到处盛开。繁茂的花朵悬挂在拱道上方,伸出院门的栅栏,散发出宜人的芳香,欢迎过路的行人。柠檬树下,叶面柔软的棕榈树下,野花盛开,四处蔓延,一路生长,连山上的别墅旁,都能见到。每一处树阴下,开放的鲜花簇拥着散落的坐椅,让人见了就想停住脚步,坐上去歇息。这儿的岩洞,阴凉爽气,洞内的大理石仙子塑像在花瓣的掩映下微笑。这儿的喷泉,映照出的是或红或白的玫瑰花的颜色。这些垂挂的玫瑰花似乎都在为自己的美丽姿容流露出得意的笑容。这儿,家家户户的房墙上,都布满了玫瑰花,有的爬卧在飞檐上,有的缠绕在梁柱上,还有不少随意蔓延,在房屋露天平台的栏杆上生长。从高处眺望,可以看见阳光照耀下,波光粼粼的地中海,以及海岸边城中的白色房屋。

“这是蜜月旅行的天堂,不是吗?你看见过这样的玫瑰花吗?”艾美问道。她在屋顶的露天平台上停下脚步,欣赏眼前的景致,贪婪地呼吸随风飘来的浓郁馨香。

“没有,也没有碰到过这样的花刺呢。”劳里一边说,一边将拇指送进口中。刚才,他想伸手去摘一朵孤零零的鲜红玫瑰花,但就差一点距离,没有够着。

“弯下腰嘛,摘那些没有刺的。”艾美说完话,从身后鲜花点缀的墙上采摘了三朵奶油色小蔷薇,然后,把蔷薇插在对方衣服的扣子孔中,作为讲和的礼物献给劳里。劳里表情古怪地低头盯着三朵蔷薇,凝神了一会儿。他有意大利血统,有点迷信。此刻,他的心境是悲喜交加,好不郁闷,就跟那些富于想象的小伙子一样,能从小事中悟出奥秘,到处都有浪漫的题材。劳里刚才伸手去摘那棵带刺的红玫瑰时,想到了乔,她就配生动艳丽的花朵,身上常戴家中温室里摘下的这种玫瑰。而艾美刚才递给劳里的浅色蔷薇是意大利人捧在死者手里的,婚礼的花环从不使用这种。这时,劳里犹豫了一会儿,不知这不祥之兆是针对乔的,还是他本人。但他很快就恢复了美国人的常识,战胜了多愁善感,并爽朗地开口大笑。出国以来,艾美从未听他这样笑过。

“是个好建议,你最好从善如流,保全手指要紧。”艾美说道,心想自己的话把劳里逗乐了。

“谢谢,我会的。”他玩笑着答道。殊不知,几个月之后,他却真心诚意地照办了。

“劳里,什么时候去你爷爷那儿?”艾美突然问道。问完话,她坐在一个树枝编制的座位上。

“很快。”

“这三周来,你说过无数次了。”

“我想,简洁的回答可以免掉麻烦。”

“他盼着你去,你确实应该去。”

“你真热心!我知道的。”

“那为何没有行动?”

“我想,天生堕落吧。”

“你的意思是生性懒惰。真可怕啊!”艾美说话时,一脸严肃。

“还没这么严重。去了他那儿,只会烦他,所以,我不妨就待在这儿,再烦你一阵子,你忍受能力强。其实,我想,这样非常适合你的胃口。”劳里调整了身体,准备躺在栏栅的宽阔横木上。

艾美摇了摇头,以逆来顺受的神情打开速写本。其实,她已经决定教训一下这小子。没过多久,她又开口了。

“你在干什么呀?”

“看蜥蜴。”

“不是这个意思。我问你打算,或者希望干什么?”

“我想抽支烟,可以吗?”

“你真气人!我不赞成抽烟,除非你让我把你画进速写才可以。我需要人影。”

“愿意效劳。你怎么画我——是全身的,还是大半身,画倒立呢,还是直立?我斗胆建议,画一张卧姿吧,然后,把你自己也画进去,取名《无所事事乐融融》。”

“别动,如果你喜欢,睡觉也行。我可要大干了。”艾美精力充沛地说道。

“真是热情高万丈!”他心满意足地靠在一只巨型陶瓮上。

“乔如果现在看见你,会说什么呢?”艾美不耐烦地问道,希望提到比她更精力充沛的姐姐大名之后,能够激发劳里的热情。

“老一套,‘走开,特迪。我很忙!'”劳里笑着说道。但他的笑容并不自然,脸上掠过一丝阴影,熟悉的名字刺痛了心中还未愈合的伤口。劳里的口气和面色都打动了艾美,先前见过这种面色,也听过这种口气。她抬起头,正好看见劳里的表情变了——一副严峻愤恨的神态,满脸痛苦,不满现实,悔恨交加。但艾美还未仔细端详,该表情早已消失,恢复了一副无精打采的模样。艾美以艺术的愉悦注视了劳里一阵子,心想,他多么像意大利人啊。只见他沐浴在阳光下,头上没有遮盖,眼睛里流露出南国的梦幻感,他似乎忘记了身边的姑娘,沉醉于幻想之中。

“你看上去就像一位躺在墓穴上的年轻骑士。”她一边说,一边细心地勾勒画像的线条,深色岩石的背景,轮廓清晰的剪影。

“希望如此啊!”

“愚蠢的愿望,除非你早已空度一生。你变化太大了,有时候,我想——”但说到这里,艾美停顿了,神情半羞半神往,此时无言胜有声。

劳里心领神会,明白了艾美欲言又止,所要表示的温情的担心。他直视艾美的双眸,以往常跟她母亲说话的口吻讲道:“没事的,小姐。”

艾美听罢满意了,将近来开始惹她揪心的疑虑都抛到了一边。劳里的话还感动了她。她说话时亲切的口吻就表明了这一点。

“你能这样想,我真高兴!我也并没有认为你是一个严重的恶少,不过,想来你也许在德国巴登巴登那个鬼地方浪费了不少钱,要么连心都被哪个迷人的法国有夫之妇勾走了,要么在异国他乡陷入困境。一些年轻人往往认为是出国旅游在所难免的。别待在太阳底下,过来,在草地上躺一会儿,以前,乔邀我坐在沙发的一角,开始聊秘密时常这样说:让我们友好地在一起。”

劳里顺从地往草地上一躺,将一些雏菊插在旁边地上艾美帽子的系带上,自娱自乐。

“我早就准备好了,快讲秘密吧。”劳里抬头看了一眼,眼里明显露出饶有兴趣的神情。

“我没有什么可讲。你说吧。”

“没有福气拥有秘密。我还以为,你大概收到了家里的消息。”

“最近的消息你都听过了。难道你不是经常听到的吗?还以为乔会给你寄许多信。”

“她很忙。我到处游逛,你知道,不可能按时联系。你什么时候开始艺术大作呢,我的女拉斐尔?”劳里停顿了一会儿,突然问道,将话题转开。其实,刚才他在纳闷,艾美是否了解自己的秘密,想谈论它了。

“永远不做。”艾美答道,口气沮丧,但却斩钉截铁,“罗马灭了我的虚荣心,看了那里的艺术奇迹,我觉得自己活在世界上真是十分渺小,失望中,就放弃了所有不明智的期盼。”

“你如此精力充沛,才华横溢,为什么要这样呢?”

“问题就在这儿——因为,才华不是天才,精力再充沛也无法造就的。我想要么成名成家,要么一事无成。我不想成为一名平庸的画匠,所以,就不想再努力了。”

“敢问你现在自己有何打算?”

“磨炼自己的其他才能,为社会增光添彩,当然,得有机会。”

艾美的讲话很有个性,听上去很有魄力。年轻人就得无所畏惧,而且艾美的抱负具有良好的基础。这时,劳里笑了。艾美发现自己长期向往的目标无望实现,便毫不迟疑地另起炉灶,没有愁眉苦脸。这种精神,他很喜欢。

“好哇!我说,那个弗雷德·沃恩就在这里插足了。”

艾美审慎地保持沉默,但低垂的脸上露出一丝会意的神色。劳里见了,赶紧坐起身,板起脸问道:“我现在当你的哥哥,问几个问题,行吗?”

“不保证一一回答。”

“你呀,嘴硬,面软。乖乖,你可不是那种深藏不露的情场老手啊。去年,我听到过你和弗雷德之间的流言飞语。我个人认为,如果不是他突然奉诏回家,又绊住那么久,嗨,会发生什么事了吧?”

“这不该我来回答。”艾美一本正经地回答,但嘴角还挂着一丝笑容。她的眼神泄露出火花,坦白了她的内心世界:了解自己的魅力,并因此而得意非凡。

“希望你还没有订婚吧?”劳里一下子变得就像一个大哥哥,看上去很严肃。

“没有。”

“但你会的,假如他回来,在你面前规矩地跪下,不是吗?”

“很可能。”

“那么,你喜欢弗雷德这个老家伙?”

“如果我接受了,那自然就是喜欢他了。”

“但是,时机不到,你是不打算接受了,是吗?天哪,真是异乎寻常的谨小慎微啊!他是个好人,艾美,但不是我心目中你会喜欢的那种男人。”

“他有钱,而且温文尔雅,风度翩翩。”艾美答道,试图让自己显得沉着冷静,不亢不卑,但她感到有一点儿不好意思,尽管她是真心诚意的。

“知道了。社交女王可离不开钱啊。所以,你打算嫁得好,而且就此开始生活?世道就是这样的嘛,很不错,循规蹈矩,但从你母亲的女儿嘴里说出来,却有点儿怪异。”

“然而千真万确。”

回答相当简洁,但说话时的平静和断然却一反常态,小姑娘的表现很奇怪。劳里本能地感觉到这一点,便又往草地上一躺,带着一副自己难以说清的失望感。他的这种神态以及他的沉默,还有那种发自内心的自责,让艾美感到生气。于是,她决定立刻教训他一顿。

艾美口气尖锐地说:“希望你帮个忙,给我提起精神来。”

“你帮帮我提吧,乖乖女。”

“有可能,如果试试看。”艾美看上去似乎真的雷厉风行。

“那么就试试看吧。我准许你。”劳里答道。他长期独自一人,茶余饭后,就爱戏弄人。这可是久违的消遣。

“过五分钟,你就会生气的。”

“我从来不跟你生气的。单块火石打不出火来的。你呀,就跟白雪一样冰冷柔软。”

“你不知道我的能耐。雪如果堆积得当,也会发光,也会刺眼。你无动于衷,其实,有点儿做作。好好刺激一下,就能证实。”

“尽管来刺激吧,伤害不到我的,或许你倒会快活一阵。就像大男人说的那样,小妻子揍大丈夫——隔靴搔痒嘛。就把我当成丈夫,或者一块地毯吧。可以一直打到精疲力竭,如果这样的锻炼运动对你挺合适的话。”

艾美着实恼怒,加上很想看见劳里能够摆脱那种使他大变的淡漠情感,便削尖了铅笔,口气也尖利逼人地问道:

“弗洛和我给你取了个新名字,叫‘懒虫劳伦斯’,喜欢吗?”

艾美以为劳里会生气,但他仅仅将胳膊垫在头下,心如止水地说:“不错呀。谢谢女士们。”

“你想知道我对你的真实看法吗?”

“洗耳恭听。”

“好吧,我鄙视你。”

哪怕艾美用怒气冲冲,或者撒娇的声音说“我讨厌你”,劳里都会大笑,而且很喜欢听的,但这一次,艾美的嗓音却低沉伤心,劳里听了不禁睁开眼睛,立刻问道:

“请问为什么啊?”

“因为,你本可以做一个正直有为的好男孩。但你却屡犯错误,让消沉和痛苦去折磨自己。”

“语重心长啊,小姐。”

“愿意听,我可以接着讲。”

“愿闻其详,真有意思。”

“我想,你会觉得有意思的。自私自利的人总爱谈论自己的。”

“我也自私吗?”劳里听罢,不禁大吃一惊,随即脱口而出地问了一句,因为,慷慨大方是他引以为豪的唯一优点。

“是啊,而且相当自私。”艾美接着说,嗓音沉稳冷峻,其效果简比平时的气话更有杀伤力,“我可以说明根据的:我们在一起嬉笑逗乐时,我注意过你,对你感到很不满意。你已经出国将近半年了,可以说,一事无成,就知道消磨时光,挥霍钞票,让你的朋友非常失望啦。”

“苦学了四年,我难道不能快活一下呀?”

“你看上去可没有十分快活呀。反正你依然故我,我可以这么说。我们刚见面时,我说过你有长进。现在,我收回原话,因为我看你还没有我出国那时候一半好呢。你已经懒得令人作呕,而且喜欢说一些闲言碎语,把时间都浪费在鸡毛蒜皮的小事上。你还醉心于愚人的宠爱奉承,并没有得到智者的爱慕尊崇。你有金钱,有才华,有地位,有健康,还有英俊潇洒——啊,你喜欢那个‘名利场’!这可是千真万确的,所以我不得不指出来——你有这么些美妙东西去使用,去享受,你居然会觉得,除了游手好闲,简直无事可做。你没有做可能成为也应该成为的那种人,却仅仅是——”突然,艾美的话戛然而止,脸上流露出痛苦而怜悯的神情。

“火上煎熬的圣徒劳伦斯啊。”劳里冷冰冰地补充成句。但是,姑娘的训话开始生效了,劳里的眼神透露出一丝如梦初醒的火花,刚才那副漫不经心的样子不见了,脸上的表情看上去既恼火又受伤。

“我想你会这么说的。你们男人都说我们女人是天使,还说我们能够随心所欲地把你们变成什么人。但是,一旦真心诚意地想为你们着想,你们马上就嘲笑我们,听不进去,这只能证明你们的奉承话到底价值多少。”艾美愤愤地说道,背对着正坐在自己脚边令人发火的殉道者。

不一会儿,一只手捂在速写纸上,使她无法画下去,接着,劳里模仿悔过孩子的滑稽口吻说道:“我要学好,啊,我要学好的!”

然而,艾美并没有笑,她可是认真的。这时,她用铅笔敲击着劳里张开的手,一字一句地说道:“你难道不为这只手感到羞耻吗?就跟女人的手一样柔软白皙,看上去似乎只会戴朱汶牌高级手套,为女士采摘鲜花而已,别的事,什么都没有干过。谢天谢地,你又不是花花公子,所以,我很高兴看见,除了乔很久以前送给你的那枚又小又旧的戒指之外,手上没有戴什么钻石戒指,或者大图章戒指一类的玩意。亲爱的,我真希望,她也在这儿,能够帮助我!”

“我也如此啊!”

手抽了回去,跟刚才伸出一样突然。听了艾美的祝愿话,他的回应里现出了足够的力量,连艾美都高兴起来。她低头朝他看了一眼,脑子里顿时闪过一个新念头,但劳里正躺在地上,用帽子半遮着脸,似乎是在遮阴,而大胡子则遮住了嘴。艾美只看见他的胸膛随着一声深呼吸起伏着。那深呼吸就像是一声叹息,他那只戴着戒指的手垂在草丛里,似乎在隐藏一件连提都不宜提及的珍贵或是脆弱的东西。顷刻间,拉拉杂杂的提示和琐事在艾美的脑海里拼凑成形了,产生了意义,她明白了事情的原委,原来姐姐没有向她吐露啊。她记得,劳里从未主动谈及乔的事情。她想起了刚才劳里脸上掠过的阴影,他性格上的转变,而他戴的那枚旧戒指并不配用来装饰一只漂亮的手。女孩子观察这种迹象的速度是极快的,而且迅速感受到了那无言的控诉。艾美曾经想象,或许转变的根源是爱情的纠葛,现在,她已经确信了。敏锐的眼睛热泪盈眶,这时,她又开口说话了,嗓音则控制在最为委婉温柔动听的程度。

“我知道,自己是没有权利跟你这么说话的,劳里。如果你不是世界上脾气最好的小伙子,你一定会跟我生气的。可是,我们都很疼爱你,都为你而感到骄傲,所以,想到家里人会像我一样对你感到失望,我就很不忍心,尽管他们也许比我更理解你的变化。”

“我想,他们会的。”声音来自帽子底下,语气冷淡,听上去有气无力,令人哀伤。

“他们早就应该告诉我,不要让我继续错上加错,乱责备人,我原本应该格外亲切,格外宽宏大量的。我从来都不喜欢那位兰德尔小姐,现在我讨厌她了!”艾美机巧地说道,希望这次能够确认自己觉察的事实。

“去他的兰德尔小姐!”劳里一边说,一边把帽子从脸上推开,脸上的表情毫无疑义地说明他对那位小姐所怀有的感想。

“对不起,我还以为——”她突然很有策略地停止了。

“不,别以为了。其实,你最清楚了,我除了乔,任何人都不爱。”劳里说这句话时,跟以往一样口气冲动,而且,一边说,一边转过了头。

“我就是这么以为的。但他们关于这件事只字未提,你又出国,所以,我猜想,自己搞错了。难道乔不肯对你好吗?哎,我肯定,她爱你爱得很深。”

“她确实很亲切,但却不到位。如果我就是你认为的那种不成大器的人,她不爱我就很幸运。不过,她看错人了,你可以转告她的。”

劳里说话时,脸上的神情又恢复了严峻愤恨的样子。这让艾美感到为难,她不知道这会儿该使用何种安慰剂。

“我自己搞错了,不知道情况。很对不起,刚才态度太粗暴,现在不免要希望你能够善加忍受,特迪乖乖。”

“别这样,那是她给我取的名字!”劳里急速地挥手,制止了艾美模仿乔的那种柔中带骂的口气。“等你亲身试一试再说吧。”劳里又低声加了一句,顺手一把一把拔草。

“我会像男子汉一样坦然对待的,没有得到爱,也要得到尊重啊。”艾美情况不明决心大。

你看,劳里一直庆幸自己对此事忍受得相当好,既没有埋怨,也没有企求同情,而将自己的苦恼带在身边,独自排解。艾美对他的教训,使得他换一种角度看待那件事了。他第一次体会到,头一次失恋就灰心丧气,自我封闭,郁闷冷漠,看上去未免就显得很意志薄弱,自私自利了。他觉得自己似乎突然从一场思绪万千的睡梦中惊醒,再也无法入睡。没过多久,他坐了起来,慢悠悠地问道:“你认为乔会跟你一样,看不起我吗?”

“如果她看见你现在的样子,会的。她一向讨厌懒虫。你何不干一番轰轰烈烈的事情,迫使她爱上你呀?”

“我已经使出了浑身解数,但是没有用啊。”

“你是指毕业成绩不错吗?这不过是你的分内事,为你爷爷做的。花了那么多的时间和金钱,如果不毕业,是很可耻的。因为大家都知道,你可以出色毕业的。”

“不管你怎么说,反正败局已定,因为乔不肯爱我。”劳里说道,心灰意冷地用手支着头。

“不,你还有机会,最终你会承认的,因为,学业对你有好处,证明了只要你努力,还是能够干出个模样的。你只要找到另一件事情去做,很快就能够恢复到舒心愉快的心境,忘记自己的烦恼。”

“这不可能。”

“努力去争取嘛。你不必耸肩,认为‘这姑娘对这种事情知道得不少’,我并不是自作聪明,而是在仔细观察,所发现的比你想象的要多。我很关心别人的恋爱经历和矛盾行为,尽管不能加以解释,但可以记在心里,以后为我所用嘛。当然,如果你愿意,就一辈子都去爱乔吧,但不要因此而失意。不能因为自己得不到所要的一个福气,就抛弃许多美好的东西,这样做是作恶。哎,我可不想继续训话了,因为,尽管那个姑娘心肠很硬,但我知道你会幡然醒悟的,重新做一个真正的男子汉。”

他们俩一时间寂寞无语。劳里坐在草地上,摆弄着那个小戒指。艾美正在对说话时所作的速写做最后的润色。过了一会儿,她将速写本放在他的膝上,径直说了一句话:“觉得怎么样啊?”

劳里看了一眼,不禁笑了,因为画得太妙了——修长的、懒洋洋的身子正躺在草地上,表情淡然,眯着眼,手上夹着一支雪茄烟,袅袅烟圈笼罩着做梦人的头部。

“画得真不错啊!”他说道,对艾美的速写技巧感到由衷的惊喜。接着,他又似笑非笑地加了一句:“是呀,那不就是我吗。”

“这是现在的你,而这是过去的你。”艾美又拿出一张速写,放在旁边。

这一张画得不怎么样,却很有生气和灵气,足以弥补许多的败笔。这张画生动地勾勒了如烟往事,小伙子见后,脸上的神情不禁为之一变。只见画面上寥寥数笔,显示劳里正在驯马,没有戴帽子,外套脱掉了,所以,身段活跃,线条清晰,面色果敢,威风凛凛的姿势,整张画洋溢着一股青春活力,耐人寻味。画中那匹彪悍的马已经驯服,正站在一边,被缰绳勒着脖子,低着头,蹄子一个劲儿地刨着地面,但耳朵却竖立着,似乎在聆听征服者的号令。鬃毛散乱,骑手头发蓬松,神态警觉,表现化动为静的画面,让人体味到力量、勇气和青春活力,跟《无所事事乐融融》速写的躺卧式优雅形成鲜明对比。这时,劳里一言不语,眼睛在来回扫视。艾美发现他脸红了,并且抿着嘴唇,似乎已经理解了她的意思,接受了教训。对此,艾美很满意,不等劳里开口,爽朗地说开了:

“有一天,你让拉里和帕克那两匹马比赛,我们都在观看,记得吗?美格和贝丝都吓坏了,但乔却拍手欢腾。我当时骑在篱笆上,为你画速写。前几天,在画夹里找到了这张速写,稍微润色了一下,就一直保存着,打算给你看。”

“感激涕零。自那以后,你的速写技巧突飞猛进,恭喜恭喜。虽然在‘蜜月天堂’,我能否冒昧地提醒,你下榻的饭店,晚餐时间在下午五点?”

劳里说着站起来,一边笑着鞠躬,将画像归还,看了一下表,似乎在提醒她,即便是道德说教,也应该结束了。这时,劳里又想摆出以往那副随意而无所谓的样子,但这一次,却很做作了,因为,艾美振聋发聩的谈话很灵验,尽管他不愿意坦白。艾美觉察到一丝冷淡的态度,思忖道:

“是我惹怒了他。哎,如果对他有好处,我就高兴了。如果让他讨厌我,那就很遗憾了。这确实是我的真心话,决不反悔。”

回家的路上,他们又说又笑,身后坐着的小巴蒂斯特心想,先生小姐真是兴致勃勃。可是他们俩都感到很不自在。原先彼此之间坦诚相待的情趣已经扰乱了,阳光明媚的天空出现了一片乌云。尽管两人表面上仍然谈笑风生,但彼此已经打心底里暗自不满了。

“我们今晚可以见到你吗,mon frère[1]? ”在婶婶的门口分手时,艾美问道。

“不凑巧,我有约在先了。Au revoir, mademoiselle[2]。”劳里说罢,弯下腰,似乎要以外国方式去吻她的手。这可是劳里最拿手的,谁都比不上。艾美看见他的神情,急忙态度和蔼地说:

“不行,跟我来老规矩,劳里。咱们还是和以前一样告别吧。我喜欢英国的热烈握手,不喜欢法国人那些伤感的离别礼节。”

“再见,乖乖。”劳里以艾美喜欢听的口吻说完这句话,跟她握了握手,握手热烈得手痛,然后走开了。

第二天早晨,没有像往日那样的拜访,但艾美收到一个便条。她看见之后就笑了,但没有过多久,便叹气了:

我的良师益友:

请代我向你婶婶告别,愿你开心,因为“懒虫劳伦斯”像好男儿一样,陪祖父去了。谨祝冬安。愿上帝保佑你,在玫瑰谷的蜜月幸福美满!我想,弗雷德有了搅和者,会受益匪浅的。请转告他,并致祝贺。

感谢你的 忒勒玛科斯[3]

“好小伙!他走了,太好了。”艾美带着认可的微笑说道。但是,她回首望着空荡荡的房间时,面色就变了,情不自禁地叹息道:“是啊,我很高兴,可是又会想念他的!”

* * *

[1]法语,兄弟。

[2]法语,再见,小姐。

[3]希腊神话人物,曾助父杀死向其母求婚的人。

CHAPTER 39 LAZY LAURENCE

LAURIE WENT TO Nice intending to stay a week, and remained a month. He was tired of wandering about alone, and Amy's familiar presence seemed to give a homelike charm to the foreign scenes in which she bore a part. He rather missed the “petting” he used to receive, and enjoyed a taste of it again, for no attentions, however flattering, from strangers, were half so pleasant as the sisterly adoration of the girls at home. Amy never would pet him like the others, but she was very glad to see him now, and quite clung to him, feeling that he was the representative of the dear family for whom she longed more than she would confess. They naturally took comfort in each other's society and were much together, riding, walking, dancing, or dawdling, for at Nice no one can be very industrious during the gay season. But, while apparently amusing themselves in the most careless fashion, they were half-consciously making discoveries and forming opinions about each other. Amy rose daily in the estimation of her friend, but he sank in hers, and each felt the truth before a word was spoken. Amy tried to please, and succeeded, for she was grateful for the many pleasures he gave her, and repaid him with the little services to which womanly women know how to lend an indescribable charm. Laurie made no effort of any kind, but just let himself drift along as comfortably as possible, trying to forget, and feeling that all women owed him a kind word because one had been cold to him. It cost him no effort to be generous, and he would have given Amy all the trinkets in Nice if she would have taken them, but at the same time he felt that he could not change the opinion she was forming of him, and he rather dreaded the keen blue eyes that seemed to watch him with such half-sorrowful, half-scornful surprise.

“All the rest have gone to Monaco for the day; I preferred to stay at home and write letters. They are done now, and I am going to Valrosa to sketch, will you come? ” said Amy, as she joined Laurie one lovely day when he lounged in as usual, about noon.

“Well, yes, but isn't it rather warm for such a long walk? ” he answered slowly,for the shaded salon looked inviting after the glare without.

“I'm going to have the little carriage, and Baptiste can drive, so you'll have nothing to do but hold your umbrella, and keep your gloves nice, ”returned Amy, with a sarcastic glance at the immaculate kids, which were a weak point with Laurie.

“Then I'll go with pleasure.” And he put out his hand for her sketchbook. But she tucked it under her arm with a sharp—

“Don't trouble yourself. It's no exertion to me, but you don't look equal to it.”

Laurie lifted his eyebrows and followed at a leisurely pace as she ran downstairs, but when they got into the carriage he took the reins himself, and left little Baptiste nothing to do but fold his arms and fall asleep on his perch.

The two never quarreled—Amy was too well-bred, and just now Laurie was too lazy, so in a minute he peeped under her hatbrim with an inquiring air; she answered him with a smile, and they went on together in the most amicable manner.

It was a lovely drive, along winding roads rich in the picturesque scenes that delight beauty-loving eyes. Here an ancient monastery, whence the solemn chanting of the monks came down to them. There a bare-legged shepherd, in wooden shoes, pointed hat, and rough jacket over one shoulder, sat piping on a stone while his goats skipped among the rocks or lay at his feet. Meek, mouse-colored donkeys, laden with panniers of freshly cut grass passed by,with a pretty girl in a capaline sitting between the green piles, or an old woman spinning with a distaff as she went. Brown, soft-eyed children ran out from the quaint stone hovels to offer nosegays, or bunches of oranges still on the bough. Gnarled olive trees covered the hills with their dusky foliage, fruit hung golden in the orchard, and great scarlet anemones fringed the roadside; while beyond green slopes and craggy heights, the Maritime Alps rose sharp and white against the blue Italian sky.

Valrosa well deserved its name, for in that climate of perpetual summer roses blossomed everywhere. They overhung the archway, thrust themselves between the bars of the great gate with a sweet welcome to passers-by, and lined the avenue, winding through lemon trees and feathery palms up to the villa on the hill. Every shadowy nook, where seats invited one to stop and rest, was a mass of bloom, every cool grotto had its marble nymph smiling from a veil of flowers, and every fountain reflected crimson, white, or pale pink roses, leaning down to smile at their own beauty. Roses covered the walls of the house, draped the cornices, climbed the pillars, and ran riot over the balustrade of the wide terrace, whence one looked down on the sunny Mediterranean, and the white-walled city on its shore.

“This is a regular honeymoon paradise, isn't it? Did you ever see such roses? ” asked Amy, pausing on the terrace to enjoy the view, and a luxurious whiff of perfume that came wandering by.

“No, nor felt such thorns, ” returned Laurie, with his thumb in his mouth, after a vain attempt to capture a solitary scarlet flower that grew just beyond his reach.

“Try lower down, and pick those that have no thorns, ” said Amy, gathering three of the tiny cream-colored ones that starred the wall behind her. She put them in his buttonhole as a peace offering, and he stood a minute looking down at them with a curious expression, for in the Italian part of his nature there was a touch of superstition, and he was just then in that state of half-sweet, half-bitter melancholy, when imaginative young men find significance in trifles and food for romance everywhere. He had thought of Jo in reaching after the thorny red rose, for vivid flowers became her, and she had often worn ones like that from the greenhouse at home. The pale roses Amy gave him were the sort that the Italians lay in dead hands, never in bridal wreaths, and for a moment he wondered if the omen was for Jo or for himself; but the next instant his American common sense got the better of sentimentality, and he laughed a heartier laugh than Amy had heard since he came.

“It's good advice, you'd better take it and save your fingers, ” she said, thinking her speech amused him.

“Thank you, I will, ” he answered in jest, and a few months later he did it in earnest.

“Laurie, when are you going to your grandfather? ” she asked presently, as she settled herself on a rustic seat.

“Very soon.”

“You have said that a dozen times within the last three weeks.”

“I dare say, short answers save trouble.”

“He expects you, and you really ought to go.”

“Hospitable creature! I know it.”

“Then why don't you do it? ”

“Natural depravity, I suppose.”

“Natural indolence, you mean. It's really dreadful! ” And Amy looked severe.

“Not so bad as it seems, for I should only plague him if I went, so I might as well stay and plague you a little longer, you can bear it better, in fact I think it agrees with you excellently.” And Laurie composed himself for a lounge on the broad ledge of the balustrade.

Amy shook her head and opened her sketchbook with an air of resignation, but she had made up her mind to lecture “that boy” and in a minute she began again.

“What are you doing just now? ”

“Watching lizards.”

“No, no. I mean what do you intend and wish to do? ”

“Smoke a cigarette, if you'll allow me.”

“How provoking you are! I don't approve of cigars and I will only allow it on condition that you let me put you into my sketch. I need a figure.”

“With all the pleasure in life. How will you have me—full length or three-quarters, on my head or my heels? I should respectfully suggest a recumbent posture,then put yourself in also and call it‘Dolce far niente'.”

“Stay as you are, and go to sleep if you like. I intend to work hard, ”said Amy in her most energetic tone.

“What delightful enthusiasm! ” And he leaned against a tall urn with an air of entire satisfaction.

“What would Jo say if she saw you now? ” asked Amy impatiently, hoping to stir him up by the mention of her still more energetic sister's name.

“As usual, ‘Go away, Teddy. I'm busy! '” He laughed as he spoke, but the laugh was not natural, and a shade passed over his face, for the utterance of the familiar name touched the wound that was not healed yet. Both tone and shadow struck Amy, for she had seen and heard them before, and now she looked up in time to catch a new expression on Laurie's face—a hard bitter look, full of pain, dissatisfaction, and regret. It was gone before she could study it and the listless expression back again. She watched him for a moment with artistic pleasure, thinking how like an Italian he looked, as he lay basking in the sun with uncovered head and eyes full of southern dreaminess, for he seemed to have forgotten her and fallen into a reverie.

“You look like the effigy of a young knight asleep on his tomb, ” she said, carefully tracing the well-cut profile defined against the dark stone.

“Wish I was! ”

“That's a foolish wish, unless you have spoiled your life. You are so changed, I sometimes think—” There Amy stopped, with a half-timid, half-wistful look, more significant than her unfinished speech.

Laurie saw and understood the affectionate anxiety which she hesitated to express, and looking straight into her eyes, said, just as he used to say it to her mother, “It's all right, ma'am.”

That satisfied her and set at rest the doubts that had begun to worry her lately. It also touched her, and she showed that it did, by the cordial tone in which she said—

“I'm glad of that! I didn't think you'd been a very bad boy, but I fancied you might have wasted money at that wicked Baden-Baden, lost your heart to some charming Frenchwoman with a husband, or got into some of the scrapes that young men seem to consider a necessary part of a foreign tour. Don't stay out there in the sun, come and lie on the grass here and ‘let us be friendly, ' as Jo used to say when we got in the sofa corner and told secrets.”

Laurie obediently threw himself down on the turf, and began to amuse himself by sticking daisies into the ribbons of Amy's hat, that lay there.

“I'm all ready for the secrets.” And he glanced up with a decided expression of interest in his eyes.

“I've none to tell. You may begin.”

“Haven't one to bless myself with. I thought perhaps you'd had some news from home.”

“You have heard all that has come lately. Don't you hear often? I fancied Jo would send you volumes.”

“She's very busy. I'm roving about so, it's impossible to be regular, you know. When do you begin your great work of art, Raphaella? ” he asked, changing the subject abruptly after another pause, in which he had been wondering if Amy knew his secret and wanted to talk about it.

“Never, ” she answered, with a despondent but decided air. “Rome took all the vanity out of me, for after seeing the wonders there, I felt too insignificant to live and gave up all my foolish hopes in despair.”

“Why should you, with so much energy and talent? ”

“That's just why—because talent isn't genius, and no amount of energy can make it so. I want to be great, or nothing. I won't be a common-place dauber, so I don't intend to try any more.”

“And what are you going to do with yourself now, if I may ask? ”

“Polish up my other talents, and be an ornament to society, if I get the chance.”

It was a characteristic speech, and sounded daring; but audacity becomes young people, and Amy's ambition had a good foundation. Laurie smiled, but he liked the spirit with which she took up a new purpose when a long-cherished one died, and spent no time lamenting.

“Good! And here is where Fred Vaughn comes in, I fancy.”

Amy preserved a discreet silence, but there was a conscious look in her downcast face that made Laurie sit up and say gravely, “Now I'm going to play brother, and ask questions. May I? ”

“I don't promise to answer.”

“Your face will, if your tongue won't. You aren't woman of the world enough yet to hide your feelings, my dear. I heard rumors about Fred and you last year, and it's my private opinion that if he had not been called home so suddenly and detained so long, something would have come of it—hey? ”

“That's not for me to say, ” was Amy's grim reply, but her lips would smile, and there was a traitorous sparkle of the eye which betrayed that she knew her power and enjoyed the knowledge.

“You are not engaged, I hope? ” And Laurie looked very elder-brotherly and grave all of a sudden.

“No.”

“But you will be, if he comes back and goes properly down on his knees, won't you? ”

“Very likely.”

“Then you are fond of old Fred? ”

“I could be, if I tried.”

“But you don't intend to try till the proper moment? Bless my soul, what unearthly prudence! He's a good fellow, Amy, but not the man I fancied you'd like.”

“He is rich, a gentleman, and has delightful manners, ” began Amy, trying to be quite cool and dignified, but feeling a little ashamed of herself, in spite of the sincerity of her intentions.

“I understand. Queens of society can't get on without money, so you mean to make a good match, and start in that way? Quite right and proper, as the world goes, but it sounds odd from the lips of one of your mother's girls.”

“True, nevertheless.”

A short speech, but the quiet decision with which it was uttered contrasted curiously with the young speaker. Laurie felt this instinctively and laid himself down again, with a sense of disappointment which he could not explain. His look and silence, as well as a certain inward self-disapproval, ruffled Amy, and made her resolve to deliver her lecture without delay.

“I wish you'd do me the favor to rouse yourself a little, ” she said sharply.

“Do it for me, there's a dear girl.”

“I could, if I tried.” And she looked as if she would like doing it in the most summary style.

“Try, then. I give you leave, ” returned Laurie, who enjoyed having someone to tease, after his long abstinence from his favorite pastime.

“You'd be angry in five minutes.”

“I'm never angry with you. It takes two flints to make a fire. You are as cool and soft as snow.”

“You don't know what I can do. Snow produces a glow and a tingle, if applied rightly. Your indifference is half affectation, and a good stirring up would prove it.”

“Stir away, it won't hurt me and it may amuse you, as the big man said when his little wife beat him. Regard me in the light of a husband or a carpet, and beat till you are tired, if that sort of exercise agrees with you.”

Being decidedly nettled herself, and longing to see him shake off the apathy that so altered him, Amy sharpened both tongue and pencil, and began:

“Flo and I have got a new name for you. It's Lazy Laurence. How do you like it? ”

She thought it would annoy him, but he only folded his arms under his head, with an imperturbable “That's not bad. Thank you, ladies.”

“Do you want to know what I honestly think of you? ”

“Pining to be told.”

“Well, I despise you.”

If she had even said “I hate you” in a petulant or coquettish tone, he would have laughed and rather liked it, but the grave, almost sad, accent in her voice made him open his eyes, and ask quickly—

“Why, if you please? ”

“Because, with every chance for being good, useful, and happy, you are faulty, lazy, and miserable.”

“Strong language, mademoiselle.”

“If you like it, I'll go on.”

“Pray do, it's quite interesting.”

“I thought you'd find it so. Selfish people always like to talk about themselves.”

“Am I selfish? ” the question slipped out involuntarily and in a tone of surprise, for the one virtue on which he prided himself was generosity.

“Yes, very selfish, ” continued Amy, in a calm, cool voice, twice as effective just then as an angry one. “I'll show you how, for I've studied you while we were frolicking, and I'm not at all satisfied with you. Here you have been abroad nearly six months, and done nothing but waste time and money and disappoint your friends.”

“Isn't a fellow to have any pleasure after a four-year grind? ”

“You don't look as if you'd had much. At any rate, you are none the better for it, as far as I can see. I said when we first met that you had improved. Now I take it all back, for I don't think you half so nice as when I left you at home. You have grown abominably lazy, you like gossip, and waste time on frivolous things, you are contented to be petted and admired by silly people, instead of being loved and respected by wise ones. With money, talent, position, health, and beauty—ah you like that Old Vanity! But it's the truth, so I can't help saying it—with all these splendid things to use and enjoy, you can find nothing to do but dawdle, and instead of being the man you ought to be, you are only—” There she stopped, with a look that had both pain and pity in it.

“Saint Laurence on a gridiron, ” added Laurie, blandly finishing the sentence. But the lecture began to take effect, for there was a wide-awake sparkle in his eyes now and a half-angry, half-injured expression replaced the former indifference.

“I supposed you'd take it so. You men tell us we are angels, and say we can make you what we will, but the instant we honestly try to do you good, you laugh at us and won't listen, which proves how much your flattery is worth.” Amy spoke bitterly, and turned her back on the exasperating martyr at her feet.

In a minute a hand came down over the page, so that she could not draw, and Laurie's voice said, with a droll imitation of a penitent child, “I will be good, oh, I will be good! ”

But Amy did not laugh, for she was in earnest, and tapping on the outspread hand with her pencil, said soberly, “Aren't you ashamed of a hand like that? It's as soft and white as a woman's, and looks as if it never did anything but wear Jouvin's best gloves and pick flowers for ladies. You are not a dandy, thank Heaven, so I'm glad to see there are no diamonds or big seal rings on it, only the little old one Jo gave you so long ago. Dear soul, I wish she was here to help me! ”

“So do I! ”

The hand vanished as suddenly as it came, and there was energy enough in the echo of her wish to suit even Amy. She glanced down at him with a new thought in her mind, but he was lying with his hat half over his face, as if for shade, and his mustache hid his mouth. She only saw his chest rise and fall, with a long breath that might have been a sigh, and the hand that wore the ring nestled down into the grass, as if to hide something too precious or too tender to be spoken of. All in a minute various hints and trifles assumed shape and significance in Amy's mind, and told her what her sister never had confided to her. She remembered that Laurie never spoke voluntarily of Jo, she recalled the shadow on his face just now, the change in his character, and the wearing of the little old ring which was no ornament to a handsome hand. Girls are quick to read such signs and feel their eloquence. Amy had fancied that perhaps a love trouble was at the bottom of the alteration, and now she was sure of it. Her keen eyes filled, and when she spoke again, it was in a voice that could be beautifully soft and kind when she chose to make it so.

“I know I have no right to talk so to you, Laurie, and if you weren't the sweetest-tempered fellow in the world, you'd be very angry with me. But we are all so fond and proud of you, I couldn't bear to think they should be disappointed in you at home as I have been, though, perhaps they would understand the change better than I do.”

“I think they would, ” came from under the hat, in a grim tone, quite as touching as a broken one.

“They ought to have told me, and not let me go blundering and scolding, when I should have been more kind and patient than ever. I never did like that Miss Randal and now I hate her! ” said artful Amy, wishing to be sure of her facts this time.

“Hang Miss Randal! ” And Laurie knocked the hat off his face with a look that left no doubt of his sentiments toward that young lady.

“I beg pardon, I thought—” And there she paused diplomatically.

“No, you didn't, you knew perfectly well I never cared for anyone but Jo, ” Laurie said that in his old, impetuous tone, and turned his face away as he spoke.

“I did think so, but as they never said anything about it, and you came away, I supposed I was mistaken. And Jo wouldn't be kind to you? Why, I was sure she loved you dearly.”

“She was kind, but not in the right way, and it's lucky for her she didn't love me, if I'm the good-for-nothing fellow you think me. It's her fault though, and you may tell her so.”

The hard, bitter look came back again as he said that, and it troubled Amy, for she did not know what balm to apply.

“I was wrong, I didn't know. I'm very sorry I was so cross, but I can't help wishing you'd bear it better, Teddy, dear.”

“Don't, that's her name for me! ” And Laurie put up his hand with a quick gesture to stop the words spoken in Jo's half-kind, half-reproachful tone. “Wait till you've tried it yourself, ” he added in a low voice, as he pulled up the grass by the handful.

“I'd take it manfully, and be respected if I couldn't be loved, ” said Amy, with the decision of one who knew nothing about it.

Now, Laurie flattered himself that he had borne it rem

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