英语幽默教程汇总和更新

The Absent-minded ProfessorAn absent-minded professor was lecturing on anatomy.一位粗心的教授正在上解剖课。"To show you... [查看全文]

The cost of marriageA little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"一个小男孩问他的... [查看全文]

Secret For a Long Life A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. I couldn't help noticing how happy you look, she says. What's your secret for a long, happy life? I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat f [查看全文]

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, I am Napoleon! Another one said, How do you know? The first inmate said, God told me! Just then, a voice from another room shouted, I did not! 疯人院 一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：我是拿破仑！另一个说：你怎么知道？第一个人说：上帝对我说的！ [查看全文]

THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown. 某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字把性别的性字写成了袜字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表 [查看全文]

The poor husband You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife, the man complained to his friend. She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. 可怜的丈夫 你根本无法想 [查看全文]

Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 [查看全文]

Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get? Tommy: Quarters. Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again? Tommy: Hamburger. 我能得到什么？ 老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿？ 汤米：四块。 老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢？ 汤米：汉堡。 [查看全文]

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. 一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后，被叫到人事经理的办公室。 What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now [查看全文]

Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer. 每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面，然后给他们讲一个故事。一天，他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义，带来了一台电话机。 You talk to people on the te [查看全文]